by Kat T. Masen
And I can’t blame him.
I’m counting down the seconds in my head, rolling my sleeves up because his desire to kill me mirrors exactly how I feel about him marrying the woman I love.
I remind myself he is younger than me, and that it would be improper of me to punch his fucking face.
But then it happens in a fleeting moment. He slams his fist against the table, pushing his chair out forcefully, to run toward where I stand. I sidestep his punch but miss the second, when his fist connects with my jaw. The pain ricochets throughout my face, igniting the fury within me.
A growl escapes me until Lex gets between us, pushing me aside. I look over his shoulder; Julian is holding Austin back who is shouting a string of profanities.
Rage pulses through my veins, accelerating my heartbeat to the sound of a loud drum. Lex pushes my chest with his hands, creating a bigger distance between me and Austin.
“The bastard fucking punched me!”
I taste the blood on my lips, willing the sharp pain to disappear. My nostrils flare, still on guard if the fucker comes at me again.
And then, my eyes fall upon Amelia, standing in the middle of us. The disappointment is written all over her face, and I beg of her silently to understand this wasn’t my fault. It was not my intent to humiliate her in front of our families, but Austin refuses to back down, unveiling the truth for everyone to hear.
He is making damn sure I’m painted as the villain who destroyed everything.
“Let him go, Will,” Lex warns me, pressing his hands on my shoulders willing I calm down. “You’ve won. Game over.”
I divert my eyes away from Austin and onto Lex. His normally emerald eyes, the exact same as Amelia’s—are a dark shade. But instead of an unforgiving stare, I could have sworn to have seen empathy.
Like he understood just what it feels like to fight a man for the woman you love.
To bleed from an open wound, in which a broken past is left behind.
And more poignant, to know her love for another man is all because you walked away. Acted like a coward when it became too hard.
I may have won, according to Lex.
But one look at Amelia, and I know her wounds are far from healed.
So no, I haven’t won. Not when the woman I love is still bleeding from my own mistakes.
18
AMELIA
In the throes of passion, I’ve committed a sin.
I can spin it in my head a thousand times, justify what happened outside as a momentary lapse, but nothing will change the fact that I allowed myself to succumb to temptation. I threw all caution to the wind, disregarded the feelings of the people I love, all to satisfy my own selfish needs.
And the guilt of my sins is a painful companion slowing my every move.
But despite the guilt weighing me down, the truth finally revealed itself. What me and Will have is something unexplainable.
It’s a magnetic force.
The air we breathe.
Being with him tonight only unraveled what my heart had fought against all this time.
Every touch was like fireworks. He commanded my body as if it belonged to only him. And with every kiss, every contact, I fell into a deeper spell, desperate to feel him all over me. My hands moved on their own accord, frantically touching every part of him for fear of never being able to touch him again.
I don’t want to lose him again.
There has never been a man to make me feel all the things Will Romano makes me feel, and that thought alone is terrifying. I’d been there years ago, and the last time I felt all those things—I climbed in a very dark place when it all fell apart.
The wound is still exposed, raw on the edges with never a genuine chance of healing. I tried by saying yes to marrying Austin, but it was all a lie.
A lie I’ve spun for myself and everyone around me.
As I walk back inside the house, I brace myself for seeing Austin, only to see my father walking toward the bathroom.
His eyes fall upon my own, growing still to observe me better. There is a look of disappointment, at least—it’s why I think he is quietly watching me.
“Amelia, is everything okay?”
I purse my lips, shaking my head. “No, Dad, it’s not.”
He releases a heavy sigh. “Do you want to talk?”
“I need to think.”
He doesn’t say another word. With a slight nod, he places his hands in his pockets and lowers his gaze upon the floor. But Dad is never one to keep his opinion to himself, so I wait for him to berate me for my careless actions.
“Amelia—”
I cut him off, raising my hand, too tired to run this circle anymore. “You warned me to be careful. But dad, Will is not the one causing the damage. It’s me, okay? So, if you want to blame anyone, blame me. I shouldn’t have said yes to marrying Austin, not when I am still in love with Will.”
I’m waiting for the yelling, the shouting, the ‘how dare you still love him’ speech. Although it never comes. Instead, he closes the distance between us to pull me into an embrace. I bury my face into his shirt as he strokes my hair, but my tears are nowhere to be found, trapped under all the guilt.
Despite my father being part of the problem, his love for me remains unconditional. Through all my mistakes and my many flaws—he always forgives me, and I cannot imagine my life without his love and support.
“I love him, Dad. And I know you don’t want to hear that.”
“I don’t,” he admits truthfully while pulling away. “But I am not going to lose you again.”
“You never lost me.” I barely manage a smile as he touches my cheek. “It’s not possible.”
I excuse myself to go outside with slightly more confidence from my talk with my father. Perhaps what I needed all along was the reassurance from the man I held high with regard. The ongoing feud between my father and Will plays a massive role in our future, but for now, I need to put it aside to focus on the person who deserves an explanation.
And more importantly—an apology.
I walk back outside to almost everyone up on a makeshift dancefloor and dancing. Uncle Rocky has requested UB40’s “Red Red Wine,” his go-to song for every event. He is having the time of his life. I choose not to join them just yet and sit beside Austin.
Seeing couples on the dancefloor, openly expressing their love, only cements my thoughts of Will. All our moments together were stolen moments, down to our New Year’s Eve in Times Square.
The trouble with us is that our relationship was built on secrecy, a forbidden love that had no chance of blossoming if we continued to hide behind closed doors.
And that itself is no way to build a foundation for everlasting love.
Secrets can remain hidden for only so long before they’re released with the intent to destroy the people kept in the dark.
Austin places his hand on mine, rubbing it softly. With every stroke, my chest tightens, to which my stomach begins to churn. And then, lovingly, he places his lips on my shoulder with a gentle kiss, causing me to recoil instantly.
The movement of my shoulder away from his mouth is enough for his expression to fall immediately. A dull, empty stare is only momentary as it soon morphs into anger. The temperature around me becomes increasingly hot, my skin tingling from panic. I had a bad feeling about this, but the anguish begins to cripple me.
In just a heartbeat, Austin’s rage consumes him. He slams his fist on the table, causing the glasses to tip over. My reflexes are not quick enough as he pushes his chair out and charges for Will. I call out his name, begging him to stop, but it’s too late. Austin throws his fist at Will only for him to duck, though Austin refuses to give up, attempting again, which gets Will right in his jaw.
I run toward them, standing in the middle as Uncle Julian holds Austin back, demanding he calm down. Dad is on the opposite side, holding Will back as he presses his hand to his mouth, touching the bloodied cut.
“You had to walk into he
r life and ruin her again,” Austin yells furiously, ignoring everyone else around us. “You almost killed her last time!”
I was aware Austin knew of my car accident but didn’t think he linked it back to my break-up with Will. It was never discussed, so this comes as a surprise and the wrong time to bring it up if he had concerns about it.
“Austin, please stop,” I plead with him, moving closer to where he stands, but worried about Will’s injury.
“Why? So you can go back to him?” He grabs my hand, thrusting my ring finger at me. “You agreed to marry me. Not him. You said yes. Why the hell would you do that if you’re still in love with him?”
I shake my head, clutching my stomach. “Please, not here.”
“Why not here?” He follows with a disturbing laugh. “If you have the audacity to fuck him while everyone is having dinner, why not let everyone know the truth?”
My shoulders curl over my chest as my lips begin to tremble. I can’t say anything, choking on my words. When a cold sweat starts to break out all over my body, I turn away and run out of the patio and straight toward the beach.
I don’t stop running into the darkness even though my chest burns, and my lungs are out of air. My name is being called in the distance, but I don’t stop until the sand touches my shoes. I fall to my knees with heavy sobs, clutching my stomach until I violently empty the contents onto the sand before me.
My hair is suddenly pulled back, and all I can smell is Mom’s perfume.
“Millie, breathe,” Mom tells me.
“It’ll be okay,” Eric soothes, sitting on the other side of me while rubbing my back.
I shake my head, willing the tears to escape. “It won’t be okay. I’ve hurt my best friend, and all for what? I should have waited, given him the respect to end things. All because the jealousy tore me apart.”
“Love will make you do crazy things, and jealousy is a beast when it comes out to play,” Mom admits with a heavy sigh.
“I don’t want to go back,” I beg of them. “I’m so humiliated.”
“You don’t have to go back just yet,” Eric informs me softly. “But eventually, you’ll have to, and every single person will understand. Trust me. We’ve all gone through it.”
“It’s true,” Mom says in agreeance. “A whole restaurant watched your father punch Julian in the face.”
I raise my eyes to meet hers. Is that true? But how is it possible that the two of them are so amicable? It makes no sense.
“Don’t forget the infamous birthday party in which Julian and Adriana got into a fight about you, Charlie,” Eric reminds Mom. “That was intense.”
“Rocky and Nikki were no better. Back in college, I’d witnessed fights between them in the quadrangle in Yale. It was quite a spectacle.”
“And don’t forget Noah and Kate,” Mom adds. “The two of them in France after years of being apart was so hard to watch. Two stubborn lovebirds.”
“I think the only sane person is me?” Eric concludes. “Who would have thought?”
“Our point is, honey, we’ve all gone through this. Sometimes being in love with someone makes no sense at all. We follow our hearts, and sometimes, we mistakenly hurt people along the way.”
“I’ve really hurt Austin,” I tell them both. “And Will too.”
“Will is like your father. He is stronger than you think and right now he is probably more worried about you. As for Austin, he will need time to heal.”
And so, we sit for what feels like forever until I begin to shiver uncontrollably. Eric insists we head back, the two of them holding onto me as we walk slowly back to the house.
When we step back onto the patio, the party is well over. Servers are cleaning the area, all the while making me feel guilty for ruining the night. I need to apologize to everyone, especially Uncle Rocky. Only Dad is standing outside.
“Where’s Austin?” I ask, defeated.
“Julian drove him back to Manhattan.”
“And Will?”
“I’m not sure,” is all he says.
“I think you should go to bed. It’s been a long night,” Eric suggests, lacing his arm back into mine. “Tomorrow is a new day, but for now, you need sleep. No good decisions are made when tired.”
I nod and quickly mumble goodnight to my parents then stop in my tracks.
“I’m…I’m sorry, for disappointing you both again,” I stammer, barely able to hold myself together from crying again. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
As we begin to walk away, I faintly hear my mom ask my dad if he is okay.
“I will be,” he begins, then stalls. “As long as my daughter is okay, I will be fine.”
His words may be the only light at the end of the dark tunnel. More than ever, I need my family. I was a fool ever to think I would outgrow my need for my parents, for my sisters, aunts, and uncles, not to mention cousins.
Nothing can break our family bond. Its strength far outweighs anything or one who tries.
Inside my room is an empty bed. I can’t be alone tonight, craving the warmth and love from another person. I tiptoe out of my room to knock on Ava’s door.
“Come in.”
The second I step inside, she offers a deep sigh with a thoughtful expression, patting the bed beside her. I move toward the bed and climb beneath the covers, allowing Ava to wrap her hands around me while stroking my hair. Ava may always be my little sister, but it doesn’t stop me needing her to comfort me in times of need.
“I saw the spark, Millie,” she whispers gently. “All weekend, I saw it between you and Will. Tonight was hard to watch. But the war is over, you’ve fought, and now it’s time to go live the life you deserve with the man you love.”
“But Austin,” I croak, struggling to hold back my tears.
“He is hurt but will move on. He’s a good man who, one day, will find someone that he cannot help but fall in love with. You guys had this amazing chemistry in high school, but the truth is, you guys are just best friends. You can’t confuse that with real consuming love.”
For once, Ava is right. Austin and mine's relationship had run its course years ago, although neither one of us wanted to let go of what was comfortable. We forced the hand of the universe, and in the end—we both paid the price.
“And Will? I should go find him.” I suddenly panic, worried about him.
“You know what, Millie? For tonight, just let him be. Love doesn’t disappear overnight. I promise you nothing will change. Tomorrow, you will wake up and inside that kitchen will be a man who is ready to start again with you.”
“You promise that?”
Ava leans over and turns the lamp off. “I promise, Millie. Tomorrow is a new day.”
19
WILL
My hands continue to clench while I pace the driveway outside the front of the property.
Amelia ran off toward the beach after the fucker humiliated her in front of everyone.
I desperately wanted to run after her, but Lex advised me against it. I’m not sure why I listened to him, nor why he felt compelled to protect me. But I left her to be comforted by Charlie and Eric, escaping in the opposite direction to avoid everyone’s concern.
“Will, calm down,” Mom demands, her arms folded beneath her chest as she watches me with a stern expression. “What did you honestly think would happen?”
“I don’t know?” I shout at her while running my hands through my hair. “I didn’t expect some kid to come at me with his fist!”
Dad is standing beside Mom, unusually quiet. I scratch my face, replaying tonight and consumed by guilt for ruining his birthday even though it wasn’t me who caused the scene.
No, you just fucked another man’s fiancée and expected to walk away unscathed.
And yeah, I made a mistake, but I never claimed to be perfect. Perhaps I did torment her by making her jealous, but what happened between us was bound to happen whether it was tonight, tomorrow, or next week.
I’m in lov
e with Amelia Edwards and refuse to sit back and do nothing, not when I know she feels the same way.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” is all I say.
“Never mind the party, Will,” Dad contests with a strained voice. “What are you going to do now? You love her? So, what. You loved her all those years ago, and you walked away.”
“I had no choice!”
“Everyone has a choice, son.”
My pacing stops as my gaze shifts toward my father. I am just about to defend my actions once again when my phone begins to ring for the hundredth time tonight. Pulling it out of my pocket, it’s the same number as earlier. Just another fucking nuisance call. I hit reject only for it to ring again. Pressing the phone to my forehead, I hit answer on speaker with a rude, “Romano here.”
“Am I speaking with Will Romano?”
“Yes,” I grit, shutting my eyes tight. “Who is this?”
“My name is Gordon Stone,” a man with crackling in his voice answers. “I believe you knew my daughter, Ashley.”
“Ashley?” I repeat.
“Ashley Stone.”
Of course. The night in London.
“Yes, I met her one night in London.”
“I’m afraid I have some terrible news. Ashley passed away yesterday,” he tells me with a strangled voice. “She was in a car accident.”
I bow my head, praying for the family. The poor girl had her whole life ahead of her, and it was all taken from her so soon. I wasn’t sure what to say or what he wanted. I barely knew her but suspect it’s about her funeral.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Stone, for your loss. Ashley spoke fondly of you and your wife.”
“There’s more…” he trails off.
“More?”
“Ashley was pregnant.”
My eyes divert to mom, unsure of why Gordon is telling me this. “Pregnant?”
“They managed to save the baby, but not her. He’s fighting for life. Lil fella looks just like her.”
“With all due respect, Mr. Stone. Why are you telling me this?”
