by Holly Martin
‘Harry says you work in TV and film, you’re a make-up artist?’
‘No, not really, not lipstick and stuff. Cuts, bruises, demons, vampires, elves, prosthetic noses, prosthetic lips, third eyes, one eye, car crash victims, murder victims, monsters, aliens, that sort of thing. Anything that’s a bit disgusting is down to me.’
‘Oh, cool.’ It was cool, so much more interesting than what I did.
‘So you and Harry?’
Urgh. I should have seen this coming. I made some non-committal noise.
‘Harry said you were friends, I know he adores you, I mean to go to all this trouble for you, it shows he really cares…’
‘He doesn’t see me that way.’
‘Do you see him that way?’
‘No,’ I answered quickly, probably too quickly.
‘So not tempted by any of his proposals?’
I laughed. ‘Can you imagine his reaction if I said yes?’
Chloe giggled. ‘You totally should say yes, just to see what his reaction is.’
I smiled at the challenge. ‘It would start with his eyes widening in horror and end with a Harry-shaped hole through the trees.’
Chloe laughed. ‘Well try it, I dare you. Here we are.’
I had been so intent on the conversation I hadn’t paid attention to where we were walking. In front of us was a black, open topped horse and carriage and a man dressed in a long green coat with gold buttons and a top hat.
‘Miss McKenzie?’ the man said. I nodded. ‘I’m George, I’ll be your driver for this evening.’
I looked at Chloe. ‘We’re going for a ride in a horse and carriage?’
She smiled at me. ‘You are.’
A lance of pure joy sliced through me.
‘Miss McKenzie,’ George said. ‘Mr Forbes was keen for me to introduce you to my horse.’ He offered me his arm and with a bemused look at Chloe I swapped her arm for his as he walked me to his great steed. He was a big black beast that towered over me. I stroked his nose and he leaned into my hand, staring down at me with soft brown eyes, just like Harry’s.
‘This is Harry,’ George said and I laughed.
‘Hello Harry,’ I said, softly, stroking his velvety nose, ‘you are beautiful.’
‘Well Miss McKenzie, we better get a move on, there’s lots to see.’ George escorted me back to the carriage and Chloe handed me a heavy bag.
‘Put these on when you get there, but no peeking until you do.’
I nodded numbly and climbed in.
The carriage started moving and Chloe waved me off. ‘Don’t forget the dare.’
I smiled and then sat back in the carriage, watching the trees glide gracefully past with the soft clop of Harry’s hooves. Old Victorian style lanterns sent little puddles of light across our path, reminding me of the green at home.
Up ahead the path curled into darkness. Despite the noise of the city, we were secluded here.
I caught sight of something pink hanging from the trees ahead and as we passed under it, George stood up and plucked it from the branches and then leaned back to pass it to me.
‘I believe that’s for you.’
I took the small envelope, there was something thick inside. I tore at the paper and a small crystal moon fell out into my palm. I stared at it in confusion, there was no note, nothing by way of explanation. It was beautiful, so intricately carved. I held it tight in my palm. As we made our way along the path, I lifted the envelope up to my nose. It smelt of him.
George found two more envelopes hanging from the trees on our journey, containing a crystal star and a crystal sun.
Bright lights shone up ahead through the trees and I craned my neck to see what it was.
‘We’re nearly there Miss, you might want to put on what’s in that bag.’
I grabbed the bag with barely concealed excitement and opened it to see two ice skates inside. I grinned and quickly yanked off my trainers and laced up the boots, throwing my trainers back inside the bag.
‘Whoa!’ George said to Harry the horse, as we came to a slow stop. I finished lacing up the boots and looked up to see the ice skating rink, almost deserted apart from a straggle of people.
George helped me down from the carriage and I gave him a wave as I hobbled down to the side of the rink. It sparkled in the lights that were surrounding it, but my eyes were drawn to a pink glow of light on the far side of the rink. Harry was standing underneath it, waiting. Waiting for me.
I was perturbed slightly to see Chloe also on the ice, but for now she was skating away from him. She’d obviously taken a more direct route than our long amble through the trees.
I tentatively climbed on the ice and, once I found my balance, I skated over to him.
‘Hi,’ he said, and I saw his eyes scan down me. ‘Aren’t you cold?’
‘A bit, it’s fine, I should have brought my coat.’
Before I’d even finished my sentence he took off his big long coat and wrapped it round me, helping me to put my arms through the sleeves and buttoning it up. I smiled at him, all anger vanishing. He took my hands in his big paws and blew on my fingers, the warm breath made my stomach clench with desire.
‘I missed you today,’ I said.
He kissed my forehead briefly, though he didn’t say it back. Instead he let out an ear piercing whistle. Behind him, beyond the barrier, I heard a big machine start up and I frowned in confusion as white stuff was projected into the air. But as it came down in soft flakes around us, I realised the noise was coming from a snow machine. I watched the flakes swirling above us, silhouetted against the night sky and found myself grinning inanely as they peppered my face with tiny icy crystals. It was amazing.
I turned back to look at Harry, he was watching me intently.
‘I got your gifts.’ I held out the little crystal charms.
‘I gave you the sun, the moon and the stars, now I’d like to give you my heart.’
He got down on one knee and held out his hand to reveal a pink crystal heart charm. I picked it up and held it, touching its smooth surfaces with my finger, it was cool to the touch.
‘Marry me, Suzie.’
I looked back at Harry and reached out to hold his face in my hand. ‘What would you do if I said yes?’
My heart was thudding now, what was I saying? His eyes widened a little bit and then he laughed. ‘I’d find a church or registrar that could marry us tonight and we’d be husband and wife by midnight.’
He was grinning at me and there was nothing in his eyes that suggested he was taking this seriously.
‘Well, is it a yes?’
Just then Chloe skated near us, obviously curiosity getting the better of her and wondering if I was carrying out the dare. But just as I was about to answer yes, Chloe did a startling jump and span in the air twice before landing gracefully and skating past.
Harry laughed and clapped. ‘Well done Chloe, that was amazing.’ He watched her go with admiration and my hand dropped from his face as he stood up.
‘And join you and Chloe for a threesome, I don’t think so.’ I stepped back. ‘Thanks for this, it was beautiful. I’ll leave you two to it. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
I turned but he caught my arm and pulled me back. I wobbled a bit on my skates at the sudden movement and he wrapped his arm round me and pulled me against him, supporting me with his weight.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Did you sleep with her?’ Oh God, there really was no filter on my brain at all.
I waited for him to get angry. I had no right to ask him that question or mind about the answer.
His eyes were dark as he stared at me. He wrapped his other arm round me, shifting me closer ‘No. Well yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. I didn’t want to wake you so I slept in her bed but just in the same way that we sleep together. Nothing happened. We’re friends, nothing more.’
I didn’t know if that was actually worse. I thought the intimacy, the close friendship we shared was uniq
ue to us, a special bond that only we had, but it seemed he had that friendship with Chloe too. Maybe he was touchy feely with all his female friends and it wasn’t special at all.
He reached his hand up and brushed a few snowflakes from my cheek. His touch made my stomach clench with desire. ‘Why are you getting weird over this? I’ve been out with lots of women since we first met and you’ve never got like this before. But first that blonde in The Galapagos Islands and now Chloe. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were jealous. Are the proposals having an effect on you? Are you suddenly falling in love with me?’ He laughed, dismissing his assessment.
I pushed my way back out of his embrace and he let me.
‘It’s just a big joke to you isn’t it, all this? You don’t get it, do you?’
Oh God, no, I had to stop talking.
‘It’s not a joke.’ All sign of humour had vanished from his eyes. ‘Not one bit. And no, I don’t get why you are so upset over something that means absolutely nothing to me.’
My heart jolted. Sleeping with Chloe meant nothing to him, but he’d said that it was the same as sleeping with me, so that meant nothing to him either.
Something was digging hard into my hand and I looked down to see the tiny crystal heart. I pushed it into his hand.
‘Save this for someone who does mean something to you then.’
I turned and skated away.
‘Suzie wait,’ Harry called.
I skated off the rink, dumped my boots and his coat on a nearby chair, quickly tugged on my trainers and walked towards the hotel, refusing to look back.
*
I was on the Staten Island ferry when my phone beeped with a text message the next day. Harry hadn’t come back to our hotel room the night before.
I decided to wait until the ferry had passed by the Statue of Liberty, the whole point of this journey, before I fished the phone out of my bag. She was a lot smaller in real life than the films and photos led me to believe – but she was still an iconic, powerful image. She had a steely resolve in her eyes as she looked out to sea.
It was early morning and the weak winter sunshine was casting a candyfloss glow over the waves.
As the statue grew small in the distance, I grabbed my phone and opened up the text.
‘Be at the Top of the Rock, 70th floor, the outdoor observation deck in the Rockefeller Centre at twelve noon. Face Central Park, use the binoculars. I won’t be there so you’ll need to keep your eyes open.’
He wouldn’t be there? He had the audacity to moan at me when I wanted to miss the proposal in Mexico and now he was too busy to attend this one himself.
I noticed I had an email waiting for me as well. I opened it up and saw it was from Mark, Jack’s friend that lived in New York. I scanned through it. To my surprise, Mark already knew about Harry – he’d worked with him briefly a few years before he’d moved out to New York. I could tell that Mark was practically salivating over the prospect of Harry coming to work with him, saying that he would be just what the company needed.
Mark wanted Harry to come for an interview in two days. I bit my lip, we were supposed to be flying to Quebec tomorrow, but we could easily change it.
I still wanted to do something nice for Harry. I felt guilty about my sudden outburst the day before, especially after everything Harry had done for me. Although that guilt had waned slightly when he hadn’t returned to our room the night before. This was a way to give something back, maybe to somehow indicate my feelings for him without putting my heart on the line.
I sent Harry a text saying we needed to talk and if he wasn’t going to be at the proposal, could we meet for drinks tonight. He didn’t reply.
*
I arrived a little earlier than I was meant to be there, so I had time to enjoy the view before the proposal. In some ways the view was better than the one from the Empire State Building as it was closer to the other skyscrapers and therefore it didn’t seem like we were looking down on a load of roofs, plus the almost unobstructed view of Central Park was unrivalled and beautiful.
Just before twelve, I positioned myself facing Central Park and wondered what it was I was going to see. I had bought a small pair of binoculars from one of the touristy shops on the way so I wasn’t going to use lots of quarters and hog one of the public binoculars on the observation deck.
I waited and waited and saw nothing. I scanned the park, the sky, the streets below and still saw nothing. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed, still nothing.
It was bad enough that Harry wasn’t going to be here, but for him to have forgotten altogether was unforgiveable.
Next to me a man got down on one knee with one red rose and asked his girlfriend to marry him, she squealed with joy and threw herself into his arms. At least someone was getting proposed to today.
Then suddenly I saw it. In the big black skyscraper near the park, a big M appeared in one of the windows. An A appeared in the window below it. Below that was an R. Slowly, slowly, each letter of the words ‘Marry Me’ was revealed across seven floors, eight if you included the empty floor between Marry and Me.
It was huge, and even without the binoculars it was easy to see. I smiled as I quickly fired off a few shots with the camera. Harry’s originality was hard to top. The newly engaged woman next to me saw it too and threw the rose back at her boyfriend.
‘Why didn’t you do something like that, you give me a stinking rose whilst someone else gets a proposal spread across an entire skyscraper? Cheapskate,’ she squawked in a shrill American accent.
The boyfriend floundered and I smoothly stepped in. ‘Sorry Miss, I’m from The Perfect Proposal dot com,’ I handed her my business card. ‘Your boyfriend arranged this for you, unfortunately our proposal was a little late so your boyfriend did your proposal first. You have my apologies but the logistics of this sort of thing is quite hard to organise.’
The girl turned to her boyfriend. ‘You did this for me?’
The boyfriend looked at me then nodded, clearly wondering how much this was going to cost him.
She threw herself into his arms again and kissed him all over. He mouthed thank you to me over her shoulder.
‘Congratulations,’ I said, though I doubted the girl even heard me.
I turned away, smiling, and that’s when I saw him. Jack.
Chapter Twelve
I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, I could only gaze at the man that was clearly my brother. I stared at him. Every bone in my body was screaming at me, telling me this wasn’t Jack, that it couldn’t possibly be as I slowly stepped towards him. I had watched him die, I had held his hand as he took his last breath, I had been to his funeral – yet here he was, standing just three metres away from me, with his arm wrapped round another woman.
Had he faked his death purely to be with this woman? How could he leave Jules and Bella? But suddenly it didn’t matter. I could be angry with him later, now I just wanted to touch him, to hold him and smell him once more.
I took another step towards him and he spotted me staring at him. There was no recognition whatsoever, not even a glimmer in his eyes. This should have been enough to stop me, to doubt this insanity, but my hand was already outstretched to touch him.
‘You all right love?’ he said to me. He was English, though he was more northern than Jack.
I felt tears brimming my eyes. It wasn’t him. I knew it wasn’t but my hand was still outstretched to touch his heart, a tiny glimmer of hope.
‘Gareth, who is this?’
The man shrugged, looking a bit scared now by my endless staring.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed my outstretched one and pulled me away into Harry’s hard chest, enveloping me into a protective hug.
‘It’s not him, baby.’
‘I know,’ I said, as my tears soaked his shirt, a huge wave of disappointment washing over me.
He pulled me down onto a bench next to him, clamping his arm round my shoulder. I was still crying but now Harry was here
, my tears were quickly fading.
‘I’m such an idiot,’ I muttered, wiping my eyes. ‘I just wanted it to be him so badly, I started to believe it was.’
I looked over at the man now, he was still eyeing us warily. With the fresh perspective, I could clearly see it wasn’t Jack. He was thinner in the face, at least an inch taller and lacked the tiny mole on his cheek that had often earned him the highly original nickname of Moley from his friends.
‘Are you kidding?’ said Harry. ‘The man is Jack’s doppelganger, they could be twins. I had to stop myself from leaping into his arms and giving him a big hug too.’
I laughed weakly. ‘I wish you had, then I wouldn’t have looked such a weirdo.’
‘For you baby, anything.’
Harry stood up and grabbed the poor man into a big hug, nuzzling into his neck like a cat. The man was clearly stunned and I laughed.
Harry released the man with a friendly pat around the cheek and came back to sit next to me, scooping me onto his lap as he sat down. I leaned into him as he stroked my back.
I looked up at him and touched his cheek. ‘Where would I be without you?’
He smiled and kissed me sweetly on the nose.
We sat staring at each other for a few seconds, the sudden tension from the day before returning.
‘What did you want to talk to me about?’
‘Oh. I have a surprise for you. I may have gotten you a job.’
He stared at me, his eyes unblinking. ‘I have a job.’
‘This is better, it’s working for one of the big computer firms here, ‘Euphoria’. You’ll be able to put some of your amazing skills to better use than just working on web design all day. And you get to move here, you love it here, you wanted to move here before, I know you did. Now you can…’
I trailed off at the expression on his face. He was furious.
‘If I wanted a job here I would have got a job here. You had no right to interfere in my life like that.’
How had I got this wrong? I thought that’s what he wanted. He hadn’t stopped talking about New York for days before we came.
