by Holly Martin
‘She’s gay?’
He nodded.
I supressed the smile of relief. So she really did love him like a brother. He was her foster brother.
‘Anyway, my foster family. I was with them for four years. Abigail had already moved out to live with a boyfriend and I kind of felt I had a real family. It wasn’t a great one, admittedly, but I still figured that they would always be there for me. At eighteen, the funding stops for any children in care. Literally on my eighteenth birthday they told me that I would have to find somewhere else to live. I was practically kicked out on the streets after that. I vowed then that I would never put my trust in anyone again.’ He gripped my hand tighter. ‘Except you. I trust you.’
I smiled.
‘And do you trust me too?’
‘Yes.’
‘I would never hurt you.’
‘I know.’
‘So now you know everything there is to know about me, and you’re still here holding my hand. Shall we talk about that kiss?’
I felt my face fall.
Oh no. He had trusted me with his biggest secret, now he was expecting me to do the same. As much as I trusted him not to stamp all over my heart if he didn’t feel the same way, I still didn’t want it to be weird between us, not when things had just started to go back to normal for us. And there was no escape from him either, we were going to be together for the next two months as we travelled the world, two months of weird awkwardness. And I couldn’t forget how he had pulled away from me in the days immediately after the kiss, distancing himself from me. And the negative comment he’d made about me being naked in his bed – although it had been weeks before, the night I had covered myself in noodles, it still echoed in my head. But then… The way he was looking at me now, if he did feel the same way then we could be back inside our little log cabin within a few seconds and he could make love to me in front of that fire. My gut clenched with desire and need. I was so confused.
‘Harry. I…’
His eyes filled with fear and it was enough to stall me in my tracks. He didn’t want things to change between us either.
‘The kiss, what it meant to me, what it meant to you, can we talk about it when we get back? This, what we have now, I don’t want to spoil that. We have the whole world to see and I want to do that with my best friend – not with an awkward cloud hanging over us. We are going to have an amazing time.’
He frowned slightly then nodded. ‘We will. There’s so much of the world to see, so much to do, I can’t wait to share it all with you. But we do need to talk, though I’m happy to wait until we get back. I don’t want to spoil this either.’
I knew that talk was coming – ever since we’d kissed, I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. But I had just earned a two month reprieve. We would talk. I’d tell him everything. I had to know one way or another.
I leaned into his shoulder and returned my attention to the sun that was just rising in the east, sending pink tinged clouds across the sky. ‘Ok,’ I said.
He pulled me tighter against him and looked out over the mountains too. ‘Good.’
*
Proposer’s Blog
Day 40: The Fire Proposal. Location: Prince Rupert, British Columbia.
We were supposed to be flying from Vancouver to Japan today but I’ve delayed it until tomorrow. When I asked Suzie if she had seen everything she wanted to see in Canada, she said she was disappointed not to see any bears. Khutzeymateen Sanctuary is a bear sanctuary just north of Prince Rupert where you can view the bears by boat, so I couldn’t resist changing our plans to incorporate a quick visit up the coast. Plus we had heard that Prince Rupert does the best seafood for miles around. So we had taken a small sea plane up to spend the day in Prince Rupert.
I thought Suzie might get bored of Canada – we have spent over three weeks looking at mountains, lakes and forests – so I was keen to take her to Japan where the landscape is completely different, especially with the bright lights of Tokyo. But there is a peaceful quality about being here, undisturbed by city noises. Suzie loves it and I don’t think she is in any rush to leave.
With only a few hours to rustle up a proposal with this last minute change of plans, I wasn’t hopeful of creating anything spectacular. But my would-be proposers and followers of this blog, you guys are truly magnificent. I put out a plea for help earlier this morning and within minutes I had the number of a local fisherman, David Whittaker, who was more than happy to help me put something together at the last minute.
The sea plane came in low over the little islands and rivers as it prepared to land in the bay. I think Suzie was a little nervous about landing on the sea and not on solid tarmac, so I tried to distract her by pointing out the incredible views of the iced rivers and snow-capped hills. That’s when she saw it.
As we swooped over the snow covered shores of Smith Island, flames licked the sky and Suzie gave a little scream before she realised that the flames were arranged in the shape of the now familiar words, ‘Marry Me’. Six foot high letters in golden flames set against the backdrop of the snowy beaches, even I had to admit, it was bloody impressive. I don’t know how David had done it in such a short amount of time, but he had.
Suzie was silent, her face pressed against the glass and I could see the wonder in her face. Although that wonder quickly turned to fear as the plane touched down on the water and the waves engulfed the sides of the plane. Then she was screaming for an altogether different reason.
Thanks David.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 46: The Symphony of Lights Proposal. Location: Hong Kong
Hong Kong is an incredible city – the tall skyscrapers, the forests on the hills beyond, the mists rolling in off the harbour, the pagodas, the bridges, the insane views over the city, the people, the dragon boats, the beautiful junk boats. It’s such a thriving, buzzing place. And for me there’s nowhere that epitomises Hong Kong and all its splendour more than the Symphony of Lights display in Victoria Harbour. Over forty buildings are involved in the show on both sides of the harbour, so the best place to view it is from the boats.
Music blares out over the harbour as the skyscrapers light up in a kaleidoscope of colours, with laser beams and searchlights that pierce the night sky. It is all timed beautifully with the music as the sky swirls with red, gold, green and blue. It is an incredible sight.
I have to say, this proposal was the hardest to organise of all the proposals so far and one I started preparing at the very beginning of this trip. I have spent hours on the phone, and sending emails to co-ordinate this but as we have gained more followers, more people were willing to help.
But even standing there on the boat with my arms round Suzie, I still wasn’t sure if it would work or even happen at all. What if it only partly worked and Suzie was left looking at the letters UZ MR ME?
I had a back-up, a snow globe of the city of Hong Kong which had the words ‘Marry Me,’ in lights above the city when it was shaken. If all else failed I would present her with it at the end of the light show, though I wanted the big spectacle – and after almost a month of planning I was so excited to see it pulled off.
The lights lit up the sky taking us through the huge finale and as it came to an incredible end, the buildings were momentarily plunged into darkness.
Then selected lights lit up the sides of the buildings for just three seconds, ‘Suzie Marry Me,’ blazed through the darkness, and sparkled over the water. People around us screamed with excitement and then it was gone, the city in darkness again. But as I closed my eyes the words still danced in front of my eyes, and I knew Suzie would be able to see it too. Slowly the city came back to life as if it had never happened and people on the boats cheered at the unexpected finale.
Suzie was shaking in my arms and she didn’t say a word as the boat went back to the dock. In fact she has barely said a word since. We came back to the hotel and apart from to say goodnight she hasn’t spoke to me at all.
Not sure i
f that’s a good reaction or a bad one
Proposer’s Blog
Day 58: The Air Ambulance Proposal. Location: Nepal
Hi, Suzie here. Harry’s fine by the way, now. He wasn’t looking so good a few hours ago. As you know, we are hiking through the Himalayas for a few days. Harry has been so looking forward to this. He didn’t think we would get as far as the Everest Base Camp, but he just wanted to be in the foothills of this great mountain and it’s all he’s talked about for days. We stayed in Monju last night and we got up early this morning to head towards Namche. This was as far as Harry wanted to go as he was worried I might get altitude sickness. Oh how wrong was he.
No sooner had we left Monju Harry started feeling ill. He complained of a bad headache and dizziness and he was really short of breath. I kept saying we should turn back but evidently my proposal was up ahead and he wanted to keep going. As we started up the steep hill to Namche, Harry had a bad nose bleed and passed out.
I have literally never been so scared in all my life.
Luckily one of the porters who was taking some equipment up to one of the other camps was passing and he spoke fluent English. He explained that altitude sickness was very common, even in the fittest of men. He said he would summon help. I expected him to run to a nearby village and bring back some kind of local doctor who would shove herbs under Harry’s nose. But the porter whipped out his mobile phone and called an ambulance.
Harry and I were airlifted to the nearby Lukla airport and from there taken to the nearest hospital. Harry had come round by this point but he was very incoherent. The helicopter stayed close to the ground as we made our way back, not wanting to aggravate his condition.
And that’s when Harry proposed to me, when he was barely conscious he just grabbed my hand and muttered the words. I told him if he survived I would marry him, the very next day.
By the time we arrived at the hospital Harry was sitting up, talking and laughing with the doctors. The doctors say altitude sickness normally passes once you return to a lower height. They are keeping him in overnight just in case, but they’re not too worried. I think Harry might still be delirious. He keeps talking about our forthcoming wedding.
But I wouldn’t rush out and buy a hat just yet, blog followers, I’m sure he will come to his senses in a few days.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 64: The Tattoo Proposal. Location: Dubai
We dined in the dunes tonight, at a secluded hotel resort, surrounded by sand and sky. Suzie looked stunning in a long satin silver dress she had bought from the market and her hair swept back with sparkly clips. I couldn’t take my eyes off her for a second. There were belly dancers and other entertainment from lots of beautiful exotic women, but Suzie was the most beautiful woman there and everyone knew that. Everyone, that is, except Suzie. I told her, I told her several times throughout the night but she didn’t believe me. That’s one of the things I love about her, she just doesn’t get how incredibly beautiful she is. With the stars, the heat, the amazing food, the incense burning, it was all a heady combination. I wanted to kiss her tonight, I wanted her so badly it actually hurt.
There was sword fighting and horsemanship to watch and Suzie was enjoying herself immensely, even though I was creepily staring at her all night.
The henna tattooists came round and as Suzie got her hands painted with beautiful intricate spirals, curls, geometric designs and flowers, I too had my own tattoo done.
Afterwards, I showed her the back of my hands and she laughed at the pretty flowers that I’d had done. I took her hands in my own and as I entwined my fingers with hers that’s when she saw the proposal. The lines on the back of her hands were just that, lines, nothing of any particular shape – but when combined with the lines on my hands, when our hands were connected, the henna clearly spelt out the words ‘Marry Me’.
Her eyes lit up in the glowing flames of our surroundings. We sat for ages with our hands entwined. It was my favourite proposal yet.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 83: The Spider Proposal. Location: Kenya
We have had an amazing few days on safari here in Kenya. We have seen elephants, lions, rhinos, hippos and the highlight so far of our entire trip – giraffes galloping across the plains. Suzie has not stopped smiling for one second.
We were staying in a large tent last night. It’s one where you can walk around inside and it even has a little stove.
I thought I would have some fun and play a little joke on her, which I totally thought she would realise was a joke straight away.
She has a thing for creepy crawlies, she hates them. Though I didn’t realise quite how deep that fear ran.
I placed a fake spider in her bed. It was bigger than her head and I figured she would see it and laugh straight away.
She didn’t see it. She climbed into bed and only when she was getting comfortable did she brush against it. She lifted the sheets, saw the beast lurking in the shadows and leapt out of bed screaming and crying. She grabbed one of the sledgehammers we were using earlier to tighten the tent pegs and attacked the spider. She completely destroyed the bed and I had to pull her off to stop her hurting herself in the struggle.
She was actually sobbing.
Worst proposal ever.
When I managed to get her to calm down, I picked up the fake spider and showed her the proposal underneath.
She didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night and she’s still not speaking to me this morning.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 97: The Firefly Proposal. Location: Springbrook National Park, Australia.
I was worried about this proposal probably more so than any of the others. Although most of the proposals have relied on outside help, relying on animals is something completely different.
We had gone to a cave, underneath the plunge pool of a waterfall. The waterfall had eroded the land underneath and formed a cave with a hole in the roof where the water tumbled through. It was here that the fireflies lived
I was told this special fruit juice was something the fireflies loved – but what if they weren’t hungry, what if they were too tired, what if the moon wasn’t in the right place in the sky? Never work with children and animals they say. So this was either going to work or it wasn’t.
I squirted the juice onto the walls in the shape of the words ‘Marry Me’, then asked Suzie to open her eyes. Nothing happened. Long seconds stretched on. Still. Nothing. Then a few of them obviously caught a whiff of the juice and flew over to it, then a few more. Slowly, slowly, as they feasted on the juice, the words ‘Marry Me’ were clearly seen on the cave walls.
Suzie was stunned and she was clearly thrilled by the beauty of it. I do love surprising her with something beyond the normal proposals.
She said there was still something missing. I’m running out of time and I don’t know what else I can do to get the answer I want. Three more proposals and it’s over.
I read the blog and smiled. The followers of our blog adored the loving comments Harry made about me, they lapped it up and Harry’s blog posts had become more and more loved up as the weeks went by. They were all big romantics and wanted to see me and Harry married off with a whole football team of babies by the end of this trip.
I didn’t know what we were going to tell the bloggers when it was all over, but they would be desperate for some satisfying conclusion and it was never going to end in the way they hoped it would.
I scrolled through some of the older blog entries while we waited for the boat to leave.
It had been one hell of a ride over the last three months. Initially, I’d had reservations about how I was going to protect my heart. A hundred proposals from a man who didn’t love me was a cruel and unwanted punishment but I had become adept at shrugging them off now. And a lot of the proposals had been fun. In trying to find the ultimate proposal, Harry had taken me to the most amazing places and we had done some incredible things. We had stood on top of the world’s tallest buil
dings, seen the most beautiful beaches and forests, swam in the bluest oceans and eaten the strangest food.
But now there were just three proposals left and my torment would be over.
Harry slid his arm around my shoulders as he sat down next to me in the booth.
‘I’m so hungry I could eat a moose,’ he said, nibbling my shoulder playfully.
‘We may have to go back to Canada for that, not too many moosies round here.’ I deliberately got the word wrong so he would focus on that and not how my whole body had just erupted in goose bumps at his touch. Even now after so long, he still affected me in ways which were mostly X-rated.
Harry laughed, ‘Moosies?’
‘Moosi?’
He scrunched up his nose, knowing I was teasing him.
‘Moss? Mosses? Moses?’
For a split second his eyes scanned down to my lips before he looked away. What was that? He had become a lot more tactile over the last month or so and, coupled with the looks I sometimes caught him giving me, I often convinced myself on an almost daily basis that he returned the feelings for me. But the holiday, our trip together had almost put a block on me telling him how I felt. How awkward would it be to throw myself into his arms after one of his proposals, for him to turn me down? I’d then have to spend every day with him with that horrid awkwardness hanging over us. Plus I kept on waiting for him to utter the words himself. Harry pouring out his heart about his past had been a small but vital turning point in our relationship. Harry had told me everything, he trusted me completely and I loved him all the more for taking that risk and telling me. Surely now he trusted me he could trust me with his heart too. If he felt that way. But there had been nothing from him, no words of encouragement at all.
