by Leigh Walker
The smile disappeared. “She was less than pleased. Alexandra and Elise bent her ear about it. They’re her little pets, of course, her spies. I thought she might listen to me, but she wasn’t having it.”
“So what happens now?”
He blew out a deep breath. “She wants me to discipline you.”
“Excuse me?” I coughed. “How?”
“By making you publicly apologize to the other girls. Then she wants you to sit through the entire class and afterward demonstrate the techniques you learn in front of her and my father. I told her to forget it. I said I’d train you myself.”
“What?” I sat up. “You’ll train me?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounds. I was simply trying to spare you from getting your eyes clawed out by the sacrifices or having Elise stick her chest in your face again.”
I let out a deep breath. “Dominic…I appreciate you trying to protect me.”
“Hmm. I sense a ‘but.’ So?” His brow furrowed. “What is it?”
I hesitated. “But I’ve been thinking about it.”
He sat up and looked at me carefully. “Thinking about what, exactly?”
“I don’t… I don’t belong here. This isn’t my world. I know you need my help, but if I don’t go back home, I might lose myself. I can’t stay here and…marry you.” I licked my lips. “I’m only eighteen.”
Dominic nodded slowly. “I was worried you might say that.”
“D’you really want to get married?” I scoffed.
He just looked at me.
“I’m sorry.” I immediately regretted the question. “You’re a thousand years older than me. You might be coming at this from a different perspective.”
“It’s true that I’m older than you.” His voice was soft as he traced a finger along the comforter’s swirling pattern. “But I also have my memories of the past nine years—my memories of us. So yes, I am coming at this from a different perspective. Maybe I shouldn’t have made our engagement a condition of the Trade. But you seemed so sure last time that this was what you wanted…”
“I’m sorry I don’t remember.” I reached out and put my hand over his. “But the idea of getting married when the moon is full, three weeks from now…it’s so fast. I don’t know what to do.”
He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his dark eyes. “Yes, you do.”
We looked at each other for a beat.
He squeezed my hand. “Talk it through with me. I know you often have a lot going on in that head of yours.”
“So much has happened in such a short period of time.” I sighed. “And I don’t know if I’m strong enough to help you stop your mother—I don’t know if I’ll ever be strong enough. Plus I’m worried. What if it’s not my fight? What if I shouldn’t be here, and this is all some sort of crazy fluke—then we get married? Then I’m an eighteen-year-old princess bride, and my husband’s a vampire, and my mother-in-law wants to vanquish human society and enslave my entire race, and you’re using my blood as brain bleach—”
“They’re legitimate questions, my lady. You’d be crazy if you weren’t asking them.” He frowned. “And I understand if you aren’t ready to make this commitment yet.”
“I don’t know if I am.” At the same time, I couldn’t imagine letting go of his hand, let alone leaving him.
Dominic’s expression softened. “Take all the time you need. Go back home, if that’s what it takes. Give your life there a chance. Give yourself a chance to be normal.”
“I don’t even know what normal means anymore.” Suddenly the idea of going back seemed like it was a real option, something that I might actually do. This was happening too fast. “What about your mother?”
He squeezed my hand again, an encouragement. “I can handle her. I’ll wait for you, Victoria. I’ll wait forever. We’ll get it right one of these times. That is, if you return.”
“I didn’t say I was leaving.” My voice was thick.
“No, but you can’t stay.” His face darkened. “There’s no way my mother will allow us to put off the ceremony. Our engagement’s the only reason she hasn’t banished you for what happened yesterday.”
“I don’t know what to do. It’s an awful lot of work, everything you did to get me here. We won’t have another chance like this, not until the next Trade.” Although I had no idea how the time travel aspect worked, I understood that the next opportunity to legitimately get me inside the castle was at least a year away. “And who knows what will happen with your mother by then?”
“But as you said, that’s not your fight.”
My shoulders slumped. “It might be. What if it is? I just don’t know.”
“And that’s more than fair. Just because your blood is special does not mean you’re destined to battle here in the kingdom.” His gaze trailed over me, then he turned to watch the fire.
I stared at him. He stared at the fire.
“I respect your choices, Victoria. I respect your right to them. What sort of man would I be if I forced you to marry me against your will? I would be no better than my father—a coward, a pawn in my mother’s game. I would not be worthy of you, my lady.”
I scooted toward him, tentatively putting my hands on his chest. He didn’t move and seemed pained by my touch. His lips were pressed together, and his skin was white, so white.
“I’ve hurt you.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“But you’re disappointed.”
His eyes flashed, not in the vampire way but in the way that made me certain I was right. I had disappointed him.
“It’s just that I have to get used to not seeing you, again,” he said, still not looking at me. “I must prepare myself, Victoria.”
“I’m sorry.” I bit my lip. “But what if I am supposed to go back home, go to college, and build a real life? I keep thinking about what my mother would say. She would tell me I have to take care of myself. No one can do that but me.”
He winced. “I’ve vowed to protect you.”
“That’s very chivalrous of you and also very alpha, but it’s sort of out of step with how I see my life. I can’t… I can’t rely on you for that. What if something happened to you? What if you grew tired of me? Then what? What would become of me here?”
If I believed in fate and that it was trying to teach me a lesson, I’d best listen. I’d lost my mother and my sister. I’d been clobbered over the head with the moral to my story—Dominic and I might care for each other deeply, but the only person I truly had was myself.
“I understand.” He cleared his throat. “Then you must go. Your real life’s waiting for you.”
“Dominic.” He still didn’t look at me, so I pressed my cheek against his chest. I was the coward, stealing one more moment, one more touch. “Have I ever wanted to leave you, in all these past years?”
“There have been times, like now, when you’ve had doubts.” His voice was thick.
I looked up at him. “I don’t doubt you. Or us.”
He finally turned to me, and I didn’t hesitate—I threw my arms around his neck and put my mouth on his. He crushed his lips to mine, his kiss hungry. He ran his hands slowly down my sides as if he were memorizing the feel of my body. Our tongues connected, and electricity zipped through me, straight to my core. I pulled him closer, molding myself against him.
The chilly room was suddenly very, very hot.
“Victoria…” Dom went still. He moved back, putting some distance between us, then took my face in his hands and gazed into my eyes. Very tenderly, he kissed me once more, then he pulled away.
“Wait.” My chest heaved. “Come back!”
The muscle in his jaw went tight. “I can’t. It…”
He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to; I knew what he meant. This made it hurt more.
He stood up. “I should go.”
“Wait,” I said again. The heat from the kiss was suddenly replaced by icy fear. I didn’t want hi
m to leave, but I didn’t know if I should stay. Unsure of the right thing to do, I was lost, so cold without his touch. “Will you stay?”
He half smiled at me. “I would ask the same of you, but I’m trying to do the right thing.”
My heart twisted. “You are a very difficult person to contemplate leaving.”
Dominic gave me another half-smile. “I feel the same way about you, Victoria.”
“But speaking of doing the right thing, I have…a favor to ask.”
He bowed his head. “Anything.”
“There’s still so much I don’t understand.” It pained me to bring it up, but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t. Plus, I was stalling—I didn’t want him to leave. “Tell me more. I want to know about what was in those letters. Please… Do you know something about my family?”
The smile disappeared. He stiffly adjusted his tunic, not looking at me. “I won’t tell you any more now.”
“You just said you would do anything I asked!”
“Anything but that.” He shook his head. “It would be emotional blackmail. I won’t do it.”
“What do you mean?”
Dominic’s expression changed. He smoothed it over, making it a blank slate. I was quite certain he was hiding something from me, something important. “I mean that it’s no longer safe to talk of such things. If you must go, go. I won’t beg you to stay in the kingdom, nor will I trick you into it.”
“Trick me how? With what? Does this have something to do with my mother and sister? Tell me, please—”
“I can’t. I can’t tell you now, Victoria. No matter how much you want to know, no matter how much I want to tell you, I’ve learned the hard way. These things come with a price. I can only divulge certain facts when it’s safe enough to do so. Otherwise, I risk us all. I risk you. And I won’t have that.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “If you’re keeping something from me, I’ll never forgive you.”
He inclined his head as he inspected me. His normal warmth had dissipated, replaced by chilliness—he was closing himself off to me. “You won’t have to forgive me, my lady. You won’t remember. You won’t remember any of this.”
He went to the door. “I’ll have Anthony see you off.”
I hadn’t even been sure of my plan, but he was so cold. He seemed done with me. “What will you tell your parents and the others?” I cried.
Dominic didn’t turn around. “I’ll administer your blood to them and tell them nothing. They won’t remember you, Victoria.”
“I suppose they’re the lucky ones, then.” I couldn’t believe he was walking out, and it was ending so quickly. Of all the events that had confounded me, this was the most impossible.
“They’re not lucky.” The prince’s voice was soft. “But at least they don’t have to mourn you. Fate has not been that kind to me.”
He was gone before I could say another word.
24
Dark
“Please, not a word.” I grabbed a sweater from the wardrobe and threw it on.
Anthony just raised his eyebrows.
I scowled at him. “Fine—go on and say it.”
“You’re wearing that sweater with those pants? You’re worse off than I thought.”
I kept scowling. He went back to raising his eyebrows.
When I found a pair of sturdy-looking boots in the closet, I pulled them on. “I didn’t even say for sure that I was leaving, just that I was having doubts. He jumped to the conclusion that I was going back before I’d made up my mind.”
Anthony didn’t make a peep. It was maddening.
“Then I asked him about the letters to see if he knew anything about my family, and he completely shut down. Stalked out of here without a backward glance.”
He opened his mouth then closed it.
“What?”
“Tor… He can’t say anything about the letters. It’s not safe. And you should give him a bit of a break. You just got here, and you’re leaving again. It crushes him every time.”
I finished lacing the boots and frowned. “It’s not like I can help it. You said yourself that when I get the call, I have to answer it. I have to go back.”
He pursed his lips. “But you didn’t get called. You’re just leaving.”
I stared at him. “And how would you know the difference?”
“Because when you get called, your face goes all slack. It’s like you’re in a trance. You can’t even hear us. We bring you back to the lake, but it’s like you’re sleepwalking the whole way.”
I shivered. “Weird.”
“It’s no weirder than the rest of it.” Anthony went and stood by the window, staring out at the dark grounds.
“Have I ever left like this before?” I asked. “By choice?”
He didn’t turn around. “Not that I can recall. But you’re different this time. I’m surprised I’m the only one who’s noticed it, but then again, I have been keeping our dungeon experiments a secret.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re stronger, much stronger.” He put his hands on the windowsill. “We’ve been working on vanishments forever. You did it so quickly yesterday. It was like a miracle.”
“Maybe something finally stuck.” I didn’t know what to make of it. “When I come back, we can try it again. We’ll see if I can still do it—maybe I’ll be faster.”
“Yeah…right. When you come back.” Anthony didn’t sound convinced. “On that note, we should get going. Dom has a lot to do, administering your blood to everyone. We’re going to be at it for days. I’ll need to get back soon to help him.”
“It sounds like a lot of work.” The villagers, the sacrifices, the palace staff, his parents… I grimaced, thinking about all that blood. I absently rubbed my back where the marks were.
Anthony gave me a half smile. “I suppose the prince would say you’re worth it.”
“And you?”
“I would say that you’re being a pain in the ass, but then don’t I always?”
“Fine.” I took one last look around the room, feeling certain I was forgetting something. “Then let’s get me out of your way.”
He bowed. “As you wish, my lady.”
We crept silently from the castle, encountering no one. I’d half hoped that Dominic would come looking for me, but of course he wouldn’t. We’d parted on bad terms. He was clearly disappointed that I wasn’t giving us more of a chance. I didn’t blame him, but I refused to blame myself.
The grounds were dark and quiet until we passed the sacrifices’ house. Lights were on inside, and the sound of music and laughter floated through the windows. “What’s going on in there?”
“They’re having a party with the guards. Sometimes the king and queen grant the guards leave to…feed from them.” He cleared his throat. “The wine flows freely on such nights.”
“And the sacrifices are all right with this?”
He shrugged. “They’re lonely. The guards keep them company. They play cards, dance, and drink.”
“And get bitten!”
Anthony shook his head. “They’ve accepted their lot, you know. Many of them have been with us for a long time. They appreciate the attention that the guards give them—it’s quite better than being stuck at dinner with the king and queen. The queen’s a demanding, sloppy eater, and the king is so stiff it’s embarrassing for everyone.”
“I see.”
“I don’t think you do, you know. You never gave the poor sacrifices their apology.” He was quiet for a moment as he led me across the field to a stonewall with a gate in it. Beyond, perhaps a mile farther, the giant wall surrounding both the village and the castle grounds rose. I shivered. Once we were out there, we were…out there.
I looked back at the castle. It was beautiful and austere in the moonlight. I paused for a moment, imagining Dominic pacing inside its walls, working on cleaning up the mess I’d made. And for what? “Maybe I didn’t give it enough of a chance this time.”
/> “Maybe.” Anthony shrugged. “Or maybe you’ve changed, and therefore, your fate has changed.”
I whipped my head around to face him. “But what does that mean?”
“How would I know?” He looked at me as though I were crazy. “Only the gods know your fortune. And you—you should have some sort of inkling, I expect.”
He stopped and grabbed a torch from behind the wall then handed it to me. “Hold this.” He lit a match, and the torch burst into a bright flame. “We’re going through some trees now. Follow me closely, and for the love of all things holy, don’t catch anything on fire.”
I trailed him into the trees. The torch’s light caused a corridor of dark shadows to spring up around me. I shivered, holding my sweater close against my neck. It was too quiet. I considered complaining, but Anthony didn’t seem to be too tolerant of me at the moment.
When the quiet stretched on for too long, I decided to pester him with more questions. “If my fate’s changed…does that mean that Dominic and I don’t belong together anymore?”
“You’re the one literally running away from your engagement.” He snorted. “What the bloody hell do you think it means?”
Frowning, I said, “That I’m a jerk, like you said?”
“I said you were a pain in the ass, Tor, not a jerk. They’re not the same. A pain in the ass is someone you care about but who’s too particular. A jerk is just a jerk.”
“Ah, okay. So…thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Now can you be quiet? I don’t want to startle her.”
“Who?” I looked around, seeing only ghoulish shadows.
“Her. The horse, silly. Did you think we were going to fly back to the lake in the middle of the night?”
We came upon a small clearing. A low stable sat on the far edge, and a horse whinnied as we approached.
“That’s a good girl, Honey.” Anthony’s tone was soothing. “Thanks for waiting for us out here in the dark.”
He went to the stable and brought out the horse. In the torchlight, I could see she was ginger-colored with white markings on her face. Anthony handed me her lead.
