She looked at the huge gazebo covered in flowers and the rows of chairs, then back at the marina view.
“What are you thinking?” Lucas asked.
“Terence and I got married in my parents’ backyard. My mom and I made all the food ourselves. We cooked for days. I’m guessing our whole wedding cost less than the champagne they’ll be serving today.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No. More of an observation. A big, expensive wedding wouldn’t have saved our marriage. What about you?” she asked, mostly teasing. “What was your wedding like?”
A silly question, because Lucas had never been married—had he? She realized she’d never asked. He didn’t talk about his romantic past very much, or at all.
His face was unreadable. She stared at him.
“OMG, you were married before! Tell me everything.”
“OMG?”
“I have a teenage daughter. I’m allowed to say things like that. So, am I right?”
“Yes.”
A server carrying a tray of filled champagne glasses paused by them and smiled. “Here with the wedding?”
“We are,” Lucas said and took two glasses.
She accepted the one he handed her and stared expectantly. “You have to tell me something.”
“I got married when I was in my early twenties. Her name was Lynette, and for me it was love at first sight.”
Which meant the story wasn’t going to end well, Harper thought as she leaned against the railing. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
“It was a long time ago.” He stood in front of her, looking over her shoulder. She doubted he was actually seeing the docked boats.
“She was beautiful. Bright, funny, charming. We had a big wedding with a reception at a local restaurant. I used most of my inheritance to buy us a great house. I’d never been happier.”
Harper started to get tense. “I’m sorry. I was only teasing before. I didn’t mean to make you remember all this.”
“It’s okay. You should probably know what happened. We agreed to start a family and she kept putting it off. One day I confronted her and she admitted that she really didn’t want to be married to me, but when she’d moved to LA to start her acting career, she’d realized it was going to be harder than she thought to get things moving. So she found some poor sucker to support her until she could get a decent part in a movie.”
Harper moaned. “No. That didn’t happen.”
“It did. We fought. She left. Two days later she was on a plane to Thailand for some movie role. I filed for divorce that same morning. I’d been smart enough to keep my inheritance separate and the house was only in my name, so I got all that back when I sold the place. Stuck the money in the bank and vowed not to be stupid again.”
“Hence the bimbos? They’re easy and you’ll never fall in love with one of them?”
“Something like that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It happens.”
“What about her career?”
“She had some minor fame, never made it big. I don’t know what happened to her.” He glanced around. “People are heading in. Let’s go get good seats. I want the bride to see you when she walks up the aisle.”
“That’s just mean.”
He winked. “I know. Pretty great, huh?”
* * *
Becca stood quietly through the relatively quick ceremony, but her mind wasn’t on the wedding. She’d had a good time with Michelle, Alicia’s younger cousin. She’d missed having friends in her life. But despite the fun, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ashton and their night together. At least she hoped it was going to be their night.
She had to admit, if only to herself, that she was feeling a little sick to her stomach about the whole thing. While she knew what would happen, she was less sure about how and where. No guy had even seen her naked. What if he thought she was gross? And she wasn’t sure how she felt about touching a penis. What did it feel like and did guys know it was kind of funny looking?
Maybe she should wait, she thought, only to berate herself for being a coward. She wanted to fit in—she wanted to be like everyone else—and that meant it was time for her to have sex.
Ashton texted a few minutes after the ceremony ended, asking when he could come get her. She told him she was ready anytime, then went to tell her mom she would be taking off. She found her with Lucas out by the marina.
“You were lovely,” her mom said, giving her a hug. “Are you having fun?”
Becca shook her head. “It’s weird. Alicia’s pretty much ignoring me and Dad’s busy with his buddies. Can I please go hang out at Aunt Stacey’s now?”
Harper hesitated. “Is there a head table where you’re supposed to sit?”
“No. Did you see our table? It’s in the very back. The place cards say ‘Becca plus one’ and ‘Plus two.’ She didn’t even use your name.”
“I don’t actually use hers, so I suppose it’s fair.” Her mom hugged her, then lowered her voice. “You have to make sure it’s okay with your father, then sure. Run while you can.”
Becca nodded, sucked in a breath, then said as casually as she could, “You remember I’m spending the night.” She turned to Lucas. “There’s a Mystery Science 3000 marathon.”
“I remember that show,” he said, watching her more closely than she would have liked. As if he’d guessed what she was going to try to do, although there was no way he could, could he?
Becca waved at them and hurried to find her dad. He was with Alicia, talking to a bunch of people. Her new stepmother glared at her for a second before getting Becca’s dad’s attention. Alicia whispered something in his ear.
He moved toward her, his expression impatient. “What’s up, Becca? I’ve got some guests I need to talk to.”
For a second, she told herself the person he was annoyed with was Alicia, not her, but she knew that wasn’t true. Sometime in the past year or so, she’d become the forgettable person in his life. The daughter who didn’t matter to him anymore. The realization caught her off guard, as did the bleak coldness that followed. He was supposed to love her forever, she thought. He was supposed to take care of her.
“Becca? What is it?”
She swallowed against the tightness in her throat and said, “I wanted to make sure it was okay for me to leave a little early. You’re so busy and I, um, have schoolwork.”
“Sure. That’s fine. Just stay through dinner, and then you can head out whenever.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll call you when Alicia and I are back from our honeymoon.”
No, you won’t. But she only thought the words, she didn’t say them. Instead she waved and walked back into the crowd, as if she was going to join her mother, then she turned and ducked out of the ballroom.
She found her tote bag where she’d left it and ran to the hotel lobby. Ashton was just pulling up. She raced to the car and slid into the passenger side before he could get out and open the door.
“Hi,” she said, both excited and nervous. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
Ashton stared at her. “You’re beautiful.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks heated. “Thank you. It’s my bridesmaid dress. There’s a lot of tulle.”
He frowned. “What’s that?”
“The skirt material. It’s called tulle. I think it’s French. Anyway, people use it a lot at weddings and stuff.”
“If you say so.” He pulled out of the hotel and headed south toward Mischief Bay. “How was the wedding?”
“Good, I guess. I didn’t really want a stepmother and Alicia doesn’t like me very much, but I’m trying to deal. I don’t think it’s going to get better now that they’re married. I mean, if she has a baby I won’t exist.”
“Family is hard.”
There was someth
ing about the way he said the words that had her studying him. For the first time she noticed that he seemed tense and he wasn’t smiling as much as he usually did.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Okay, something. I talked to Kit. He...” He glanced at her, then back at the road. “This is his car. He’s buying a new SUV for the baby. Instead of trading this in, he wants me to have it. He says I can take it to MIT if I think I’ll need it there. Otherwise, I can keep it here for when I come back on break.”
Becca tried to figure out why that would be a problem. “That’s great, isn’t it? Don’t you want a car? Now you don’t have to walk to work.” Plus, if they were dating and she thought they were, then they could go places more easily.
“They’re already doing so much. Taking me in, helping me pay for college. They’re starting their own family. I’m not even related to Stacey. They’re just supportive all the time.”
She had no idea what they were talking about. “That’s what grown-ups do, especially if they’re family. I know Aunt Stacey makes a lot of money and Uncle Kit has a good job.” Although he would be quitting when the baby came. Still, they could afford to help.
He stopped at a red light and looked at her. “Is that what it’s like for you? You need something and it happens? Get in trouble and you go to your mom?”
“Not all the time.” Her happy mood shifted to something slightly darker. “It’s not like that. I’m not a kid,” she added defensively. “I don’t expect to snap my fingers and get everything I want. Why would you ask that? It’s just...”
He reached across the console and covered her hand with his. “Sorry. It’s me, not you. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be part of a normal family. I’m dealing with stuff and I shouldn’t take it out on you. Forgive me?”
He was so direct, so clear on what he was thinking. She didn’t know guys could be like that. “I understand.”
“Thank you. So what do you know about Mystery Science Theater 3000?”
“I read about it online. It sounds like fun.”
“I’ve seen a few episodes before. It’s lame and funny at the same time. Stacey swears she’s going to stay up with us, but she’s been tired lately, so it’s just going to be you, me and Kit, I think.”
“That sounds good,” she murmured, wondering how late Kit would stay up and if, after he went to bed, Ashton would try to have sex with her. It was what she wanted, she reminded herself, even as her stomach began to writhe at the thought.
* * *
The wedding had been lovely. Harper did her best not to be bitter or angry. Lucas’s story about his failed marriage had started her thinking about her own failed marriage and everything that had gone wrong with her relationship with Terence. There were some key moments that explained a lot and sadly many of them were her fault.
“We should go,” she said after Becca left to meet Ashton.
“No way. We’re staying through dinner. The food is paid for and it will be fun. Plus, we wouldn’t want to not use the Becca plus one and plus two place settings.”
She looked at the huge crowd of strangers, the stunning bride and Terence carefully avoiding looking in her direction. “I’m not sure fun really describes it.”
Servers began to file out with huge trays of salads. Lucas grabbed her hand and pulled her toward their back corner table.
It turned out that Becca wasn’t the only one to cut and run. Of the eight place settings at the table, only one other couple showed up, and they sat on the opposite side so conversation with them was impossible.
Lucas smiled. “See, it’s fine. There will be plenty of food. Come on. We’ll have a good time.”
“You’re insisting on looking at the bright side. Why is that?”
“I have a sunny nature.”
She laughed, then settled in the chair he held out. “All right. I suppose Terence owes me a good meal or two.”
“Was he a jerk during the divorce?”
Lucas angled toward her, as if he were really interested in the answer to the question. A server came by and filled their wineglasses before moving on. She picked up the glass of red and took a sip.
“It’s very nice. You should try it.”
“I will when you answer the question.”
“Fine. He wasn’t a total jerk during the divorce—no more than the average man trying to get free of a marriage and pay the least he could.” She glanced toward the head table and watched as Terence picked up his bride’s hand and kissed her palm.
“I worked to put him through podiatry school,” she said, turning her attention back to Lucas. “We were married and I was really sure we would be the perfect couple, but a lot of people in my life more than hinted he was using me to pay for his education and that he would dump me when he got a good job.”
“Including your mother?”
“Are you kidding? My mother was thrilled that I was marrying a doctor. I was young and scared and instead of talking to him about marriage and my concerns, I panicked.”
Lucas picked up Becca’s place card. “You got pregnant.”
“That I did. I don’t know if Terence figured it out or what. We’d agreed to wait to start our family until he was settled in his practice but instead there was a surprise. Becca was born and I stayed home with her and started turning into my mother. I thought everything was fine.”
She tried to remember the last time she’d told this story. Obviously her sister knew the truth and Harper had shared the bare bones with her mother, but no one else. It was too shameful, too humiliating.
“I wonder if that’s where our marriage started to fall apart,” she murmured. “With that deception. When I was ready to have another baby, I couldn’t get pregnant. When I told Terence I wanted us to see a specialist, he admitted he’d had a vasectomy...without telling me.”
She willed herself not to think about anything but the words themselves. If she got caught up in the meaning, if she remembered how shocked and betrayed she’d felt, she would cry or scream or do something that wouldn’t look good at a wedding.
Lucas stared at her. “He’s a dick.”
She laughed. “Thanks for that. I was devastated. We went into counseling and tried to put the pieces back together. It worked for a while.”
Servers came by with their entrées. Lucas ignored his as he continued to study her. “Did he cheat? Is that what ended things?”
“He did. I want to tell you that I was strong and together and kicked him out, but I didn’t. I crumbled, and then he left.” She picked up her fork, then put it down. “I was a mess. I hadn’t ever really worked, not since Becca was born. I was in no way prepared to be on my own. That’s what I hated the most. Being so helpless and dependent. I wanted to be stronger than that.”
She grimaced. “I don’t expect you to get that. You’ve taken care of yourself your whole life, but it wasn’t like that for me. I was raised to be so damned traditional.”
“At least you can blame your mother for that part of it.”
She laughed. “One of my few victories.”
“Speaking of which, how are things with Bunny?”
She appreciated the change in subject. “Even though she would rather die than admit it, I think she’s doing really well. I’ve dropped by a couple of times. She’s always too busy for me and does her best to make me feel guilty. It’s a great combination for her.”
“You have to admire her consistency.”
The lights dimmed as the bride and groom got up to dance.
Lucas leaned close and lowered her voice. “You’ve got it together now. You’re successful with your business and you have your first employee.”
“Dean is amazing. He’s so creative and we work well together.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I promise not to be sad and introspective. I know that I�
��ve been very lucky and I’m grateful for that.” She held up her hand before he could speak. “I know there was hard work involved, as well. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve done my best to do better each time.”
“If the rest of you would like to join the bride and groom on the dance floor...”
The voice came over the loudspeakers. Harper was prepared to go on about how she was taking advantage of her opportunities, mostly so Lucas wouldn’t start to feel sorry for her, but before she could say anything, he stunned her by standing and holding out his hand.
“Shall we?”
“Shall we what?”
His smiled was oddly sexy and appealing. “Dance.”
She glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to see a twenty-two-year-old standing behind her. “With me? You do realize I just turned forty-two, right? I’m already taking calcium supplements. In twenty-three years I’ll be eligible for Social Security.”
“Shut up,” he said conversationally, and pulled her to her feet.
They walked to the dance floor, where he drew her against him. Somehow one of her hands was locked with his while her fingers rested on his shoulder. His other hand settled on her waist. Even more stunning, they were standing incredibly close together.
“This is so confusing,” she admitted. “Although I’m not going to complain. It’s the most action I’ve had in years.”
She half expected him to recoil at her words. Instead he laughed and eased just a little closer until they were touching.
What? No. What? She wondered if she’d had more wine or champagne than she’d realized. Was she drunk? Was Lucas actually dancing with her, their bodies swaying together?
“Are you on any medication?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“You’re not a restful person. I never noticed that before.”
“Oh, please. I’m an adult woman. That’s what you can’t get over.”
He looked into her eyes, then shocked the crap out of her by leaning close and lightly brushing her mouth with his. Under any other circumstances, she would have sworn he’d just kissed her. But he couldn’t have. This was Lucas. He liked them young and fresh and malleable and she was none of those things.
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