He knew her, knew what she feared. He could have texted her or sent an email. Instead he’d shoved her face in his actions.
“Th-thank you for telling him off,” she whispered against Dean’s chest.
“Hey, we’re a team. More important, we’re friends. I’m just so angry at him.” He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, Harper. I didn’t expect this.”
“Me, either.”
She wasn’t numb exactly. More in shock. There was plenty of pain, but also disbelief. He’d promised. She couldn’t stop thinking that.
Dean released her. “You okay?”
She shook her head and tried to speak, only she couldn’t. She sucked in air and knew the tears would come—it was just a matter of time.
She felt humiliated and played but mostly devastated. She knew that theirs was supposed to be a casual, sex-based relationship, only she’d allowed herself to feel more and now she was paying the price.
She looked at Dean and saw him glance at the clock. She registered the time, as well, and forced herself to square her shoulders and look as normal as possible, under the circumstances.
“You need to get the kids,” she said. “I’m okay. You go.”
“You’re not okay. I do have to get the twins. Let me get them and bring them back here.”
“No way. I’m about forty seconds from crying and they don’t need to see that. It will terrify them.” She swallowed and sucked in a breath, fighting the inevitable tears. “Would you take Thor back to his house, please? I don’t want Lucas coming by later to get him.” She never wanted to see him again, but wasn’t sure how to make that happen. Lucas was a client and until about two minutes ago, she would have sworn he was a friend.
Dean nodded and called for Thor. The dog came trotting up. Dean snapped on his leash. “I’ll call you in about an hour. Becca should be home, right? Oh, maybe get in touch with Bunny.” He winced. “No, not your mother. She’ll just tell you everything you did wrong, even if it isn’t true.” He stared at her. “You know this isn’t about you, right? Whatever demons have him chasing those little girls have nothing to do with you. You are perfect and lovely and he’s nothing but a lowlife bastard who doesn’t deserve to be alive.”
Dean hugged her again.
Harper did her best to hang on to the little self-control she had left. She knew the storm was coming but she wanted to be alone when it hit. She hurt all over. She felt empty and sad, but mostly, mostly she felt humiliated. She felt as if every flaw, every fear had been exposed to the world, and the world had pointed and laughed. She’d allowed herself to dream, and that dream had been mocked, broken and ground into dust.
“I’ll call you,” he promised.
“Text me,” she told him. “It will be easier for me to lie and say I’m okay.”
He hesitated, then nodded. After the door closed behind Dean and Thor, Harper walked into the kitchen, then went into her office, only to return to the kitchen. The mail sat in a pile on the table.
She picked it up and flipped through it and saw a letter from the IRS.
“Perfect,” she muttered. “Just perfect.”
She ripped open the letter and scanned it, then stared at the check that fluttered to the floor. She read the letter again.
Apparently she’d made a mistake on her taxes and they were refunding three thousand dollars. Wasn’t that an amazing surprise? Shouldn’t she be happy?
The trembling returned. She wrapped her arms around herself, sank into a chair and began to rock back and forth. In and out, she told herself. Breathe in and out. Slowly, steadily. Then her breathing hitched and the tears spilled onto her cheeks. The sobs came next, ripping through her, breaking her until she knew she would never be whole again.
Chapter Thirty-One
SATURDAY MORNING, STACEY knocked on Ashton’s half-open door. He looked up from his computer and smiled sheepishly.
“You caught me. I’m doing nerd stuff.”
She walked in and sat on the bed next to Bay and stroked the dog. “Which is?”
He pointed to the screen. “I downloaded one of my textbooks and I’m reading it.”
“Why is that bad?” She shook her head and grinned. “Never mind. I get it—what’s normal for me is nerdy for everyone else. I’m used to it. So I thought we could talk about our trip back east. College starts a couple of days after Labor Day and the dorms don’t let you in early. Still, I thought we’d go at least a week in advance. We have things to buy and I want you to be comfortable with the campus. We’ll rent a car, so we can buy what we need and get to your room.”
She paused to make sure she was covering everything. “Kit’s going to stay here with JW. She’s just too young to travel and it’s not like she can do anything. My mom will move in while we’re gone to help with everything, which Kit will love. He gets along with her way more than I do.”
“That’s because you intimidate her.”
Stacey laughed. “Me? Intimidate Bunny? That’s not possible. I fail at everything she values.”
“You make her aware of what she gave up to take care of her family. That’s why she’s so hard on you. She’s hard on Harper because she feels guilty about encouraging her not to have a career and instead stay home with Becca.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
One shoulder rose and lowered. “Kit and I talk about stuff. So do Becca and I. I just put the pieces together, and I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.”
Intimidate her mother? Was that possible? Sure, it would be nice if it were true, but Stacey couldn’t imagine that happening.
“Whenever you want to leave for the trip is fine with me,” he added. “My boss knows I’m moving back east. Once we have the dates, I’ll let him know when that’s going to happen.”
“I’ll buy the tickets today. What do you want to do about your car?”
He hesitated. “I’ve done a lot of research and I’m not going to need it at MIT. At least not my first year. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to keep it here, in the garage. I’ll put all my stuff in it, so that’s out of the way, too.”
She waved her hand. “Sure. The garage is fine. Leave the keys with Kit so he can drive it every few weeks to keep it all working.” She frowned. “Why would you put your stuff in your car? Why not just leave it in your room?”
He looked down at the floor. “So the room’s empty. You might need it for something.”
Why would they want an empty...
Hormones were still messing with her head, so Stacey wasn’t even surprised when she felt the burning need to burst into tears. She managed to keep control and only had to clear her throat before she spoke.
“Ashton, this is your room for as long as you want it. Please keep your things where they are. Kit and I assumed you’d be coming back for breaks and in the summer. We want you to come back because this is your home. You’re a part of our family and we love you.”
He made a low sound she couldn’t define, then nodded. “Ah, thanks, Stacey. I appreciate that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Get over here and hug me.”
He laughed and did as she requested. Bay jumped to her feet and licked them both. Funny how after all this time, Kit continued to give her what she wanted most, even when she didn’t know what that was.
* * *
Becca had thought the worst thing ever was her parents getting a divorce, but she’d been wrong. Having Lucas and her mom break up was more awful because now she knew what was going to happen. When her dad had moved out, he’d promised nothing would change. She hadn’t known he was lying and that he would never be there for her again. And he was her dad. Lucas had even less reason to bother with her and for some reason that hurt way more than she’d expected.
She was trying to be as good as she could, trying to look out for her mom. The house was so quie
t and sometimes she could hear her mom crying. Becca was angry at Lucas for being a tool and mad at herself for caring that she would never see him again. Jazz missed Thor and nothing was right. Why did Lucas have to be such a jerk? Was Ashton the only decent guy out there? Okay, Ashton and Kit, but that was it.
She walked into her mom’s office, “I’m taking Jazz to agility class. Do you need me to stop at the store or anything?”
Her mother looked at her and tried to smile. Her eyes were red and her face pale. “No, thanks, but I appreciate you asking. Are you home for dinner tonight, or are you and Ashton going out?”
Becca wasn’t sure what to say. She and Ashton had plans, but maybe she should stay here. “I thought we’d hang out with you.”
“No way. Go out and have fun. I’m totally fine. I promise.”
Which Becca wanted to believe, but she wasn’t sure. “We’ll talk later,” she said, then called to Jazz.
After agility class, she got her dog in the car and started for home. Jazz was doing really well with all the equipment. She would never be a champion—while she was well trained, she didn’t have the flat-out speed of some of the other dogs—but she gave her all and seemed to really enjoy herself.
Becca came to a stop at a red light and waited for it to turn green. Without warning, a big SUV slammed hard into the back of her car. Jazz was thrown into the dashboard and immediately started yelping. Becca’s seat belt locked as her head slammed against the headrest. Before she could figure out what was happening, the SUV backed up and drove past her.
Becca felt dazed and confused and scared. She didn’t know what to do, but Jazz’s yelps had her panicking. She looked at her dog, all crumpled in the car’s foot well, then glanced around and got her bearings. The vet wasn’t that far away.
It only took a few minutes to get there. Once she parked, Becca ran inside and called for help. Two of the techs carried Jazz into an examination room and promised they’d look at her right away.
Becca walked out and saw the back of her car was totally smashed. She tried to figure out if she was hurt, then decided that except for being sore, she was okay.
In her glove box was an envelope Lucas had given her with instructions on what to do if she was in an accident. She hadn’t gotten the license plate of the SUV, and she wasn’t even sure of the make or model, but she could call the police.
“Mischief Bay Police Department.”
“Hi, um, my name is Becca Szymanski. I was at the corner of Bartholomew and Treybal and someone rear-ended me, then drove off.”
“Is anyone hurt?”
“My dog, Jazz. I didn’t know what to do. She was crying so I took her to the vet. I’m there now.”
“Give me your name again and tell me where you are.”
Becca did, then was put on hold. A minute or so later, she was told to stay where she was and that an officer would be there shortly to take a report.
By the time she hung up, she’d started shaking. She wanted to call her mom, but didn’t want to upset her. Instead she texted Ashton, then went inside only to be told that they’d taken Jazz in for X-rays.
“Something’s broken?” Becca asked, her voice a wail. “No, she has to be all right.”
The receptionist’s smile was sympathetic. “Let’s find out what’s wrong with her, okay? The doctor wants to be sure before she makes a diagnosis.”
Becca tried not to cry as she told herself she had to be there for Jazz. She had to be mature. “Okay, thank you. I’ll be outside. If you could please come get me when she’s done.”
“I will.”
Becca paced in the parking lot, trying not to throw up. She desperately wanted her mom and was nearly about to give in and call her when a familiar white Mercedes convertible pulled in next to her.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded, even as she wanted to throw herself at Lucas.
He parked and got out, then held open his arms. Becca knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help rushing to him.
“It’s okay, kid,” he told her. “I’m going to take care of everything.” He stroked her hair. “I have friends at Mischief Bay PD and when you got your license, I put the word out that I was to be notified if you got into trouble. We go way back so they agreed. You called them and they called me.” He looked at her. “You all right? Are you hurt? Should we go to the hospital?”
“I’m fine. It’s Jazz. She was riding in front and when that guy rear-ended me, she went flying. They’re doing X-rays. What if I broke her?”
“You’re not responsible for being rear-ended. Tell me about the car that hit you.”
“It was a black SUV. Big. Maybe a Tahoe or Escalade. I didn’t get the license plate.”
“Where did this happen?”
She told him and he began taking notes on a small pad he pulled from his shirt pocket. “There’s a traffic camera right there. Maybe we can get the license plate.”
She nodded. “I should have had a seat belt on her. I’m going to start doing that and making her ride in the back.”
Lucas ruffled her hair. “I’m sure you will. Let’s go look at the damage to your car.”
He whistled when he saw her crumpled trunk. “He hit you hard. Your car is going to be in the shop for a while.”
Becca hadn’t thought about the repairs. “Does insurance cover it?”
“Yes. There’s a deductible.”
And she’d used the last of her savings to buy agility equipment. Still, she was working and if she had to use her paycheck for the deductible, she would.
“Did you call your mom?” he asked.
She ducked her head. “No. She’s... No.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Becca glared at him. “You left. You cheated on my mom and made her cry and you left. You abandoned her and you abandoned me. You were just gone, like my dad!”
His face tightened. “Becca—”
“No!” she screamed. “You are not going to tell me it wasn’t like that. You’re not going to tell me that I’m wrong. I know what happened. I know what you did. You were supposed to love her and you hurt her. You’re just like my dad. You’re just like him!”
“You done?” he asked, his voice so much quieter than hers.
“No. I hate you. I’ll always hate you.”
“Then we have a problem because despite what happened with your mom, I’m not going anywhere, kid. Not where you’re concerned. I was giving you a couple of days, but then I got the call, so here I am.” He moved toward her. “Becca, look at me. When have I lied?”
“You lied to my mom.”
“That isn’t about you and me.”
“It is. It is! She’s my mom and you hurt her.” She rushed at him and began hitting him. He let her, then drew her against him.
“I’m so sorry,” he told her. “I mean that. I’m sorry.”
She cried because there was nothing left to say and she was scared and hurt and she didn’t know what was going to happen with Jazz. Finally, she pushed away.
“Just go.”
“I won’t.”
She glared at him. “I don’t want you here. I don’t trust you. You lied and you hurt my mom. We don’t need you anymore.”
“Becca, please.”
Ashton drove into the parking lot and jumped out of his car. “You’re not answering your phone. What’s going on? Becca, are you okay?”
She ran over to him, trying to tell him what had happened, but she was crying too hard. Lucas followed and filled him in.
“Are you okay?” Ashton asked. “Are you hurt?”
She shook her head. “It’s Jazz. And my car.”
“Your car can be replaced. You can’t.”
Becca sensed more than heard Lucas behind her. She had a bad feeling he would stand there forever, if she didn’t talk to him
.
She turned. “We’re done. I’m done with you. I never want to see you again.”
Something flashed in his eyes. She thought maybe she’d hurt his feelings, then told herself she didn’t care. He was awful and she was better off without him.
“Becca, I get that you’re mad at me and that’s okay. But know this. I care about you and I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to have to accept that.”
“No, I don’t. You’re nothing to me. Nothing. Do you hear me? Do you?” The last words came out as a scream. She pressed her face into Ashton’s chest.
“You should go,” Ashton told him. “She’s upset.”
“I’ll be in touch,” Lucas said, then there was silence, followed by the sound of his car starting.
Becca waited until he was gone to lead Ashton into the vet’s office. “I’m scared about Jazz. What if she’s going to die?”
“Let’s wait to panic until we know something, okay?”
“Ugh, logic.”
“I know. I can be such a pain.”
They waited for nearly forty minutes, then met with the vet. Becca listened as the older woman talked and showed them the X-rays. Nothing was broken. Jazz was bruised and sore, but otherwise would be okay. She needed rest along with painkillers and anti-inflammatories. It was only when it was time to pay the bill that Becca realized she didn’t have any money, or a credit card.
“I’ll get it,” Ashton told her. “You can pay me back.” He handed over a debit card.
Together they carried a drugged Jazz to the car and put her in Becca’s back seat.
Becca kissed her dog. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I should have made you wear a seat belt and ride in back. I will from now on, okay. Because you’re my girl and I love you.”
Jazz licked her cheek.
Becca straightened. Ashton touched her arm.
“I’m going to follow you home. Your mom is going to freak and it will help if I’m there to be a buffer. Once she’s calm, I’ll take your car to the body shop for an estimate while you call your insurance company.”
All things she’d never thought about having to deal with. “Thank you.”
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