by Caitlyn Dare
“Yeah well, you’ve been kind of occupied.”
Guilt floods me. “I’ve been a crap friend, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Being in their world changes things.”
“Are we talking about me, or Alex?” Internally, I’m cringing because I saw Alex fucking a girl at Cade’s house that fateful night. He probably can’t even remember it, but I can. The image of his white ass pounding into her is imprinted on the backs of my eyelids. A shudder runs down my spine.
“Have the two of you…” My eyes widen.
“What? No! We made out a couple of times…” She blushes. “And there might have been some clothed groping, but that’s it. I don’t just go around sleeping with random guys, Mia.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t—"
“Relax.” Her laughter fills the room. “I’m just messing with you. I’d totally jump Alex’s bones if I had the chance. But now he’s initium…” Her smile falls. “He probably won’t even notice me again.”
“No way, Bel. You’re beautiful. He’d be a fool not to notice you.” Withholding the truth from her twists my insides, but I don’t do it. I can’t tell her what happened that night.
For more reasons than one.
We spend the afternoon hanging out in my room. Mom appears a couple of times to provide us with snacks and drinks. I know she’s hurt at the way I hurried to my room, but the truth is, I wish she was in my corner. Not Quinctus and their archaic rules. And certainly not Cade’s.
“Sweetheart.” There’s a knock at the door, and I leap up at the sound of my father’s voice.
“Dad.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” He pulls me into his arms. “How are you? How’s college?”
My mouth twists into an uncomfortable smile.
“That good, huh?”
“I’m not cut out for this, Dad,” I whisper, burying myself in his chest the way I used to as a kid.
“Sweetheart.” He gently grips my shoulders and eases me back. “You are so strong, Mia. You can handle anything life throws at you, and this, Cade, being his prosapia… you can do this.”
My brows knit at his strange choice of words, but before I can ask him what he means, my mom appears.
“We’re heading out now. Do you girls have everything you need?”
“I think so.”
“Okay, well, have fun. We won’t be too late.” She smiles at me and then at my dad. “I’ll grab my purse and then we can go?”
“I’ll be right down, love.” Dad turns his eyes on me. “You sure you’re good?” he asks me, and I nod.
“Have fun tonight.”
“We always do. Night, girls.” He walks away, but then I remember something.
“Hey, Dad?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Does the name Jagger mean anything to you?”
“Jagger?” His expression gives nothing away. “I don’t recognize it. Why do you ask?”
“No reason.” I smile. “See you tomorrow.”
“That you will.” He stalks off down the hall. Anyone else would think nothing is up, but they don’t know my dad like I do.
And he’s lying.
Which means he does know the name Jagger.
But why would he know about anyone living in Sterling Bay?
“Mia?” Annabel says, cutting through my reverie.
“Huh?”
“So I did a thing.”
“You did?” I close the door behind me.
“Yeah. Pass me my bag.”
I pick it up, feeling its weight. “Jesus, what is in here?”
She unzips the bag and pulls out a bottle of vodka mixer.
“What the hell is that?”
“Emergency supplies. I knew you were feeling a little worried about coming home, so I figured…” She shook the bottle. “I have glasses too.”
“Oh my God, who are you and what have you done to my friend?”
“We’re freshmen now, Mia. College students. We should be out partying and hooking up with hot guys. But here we are.”
“So this is what, your attempt at bringing the party to us?”
“Something like that. Are you game?”
Am I?
So much has happened over the last few days, I can’t deny I’m tempted.
“Oh, what the hell. Fill me up.” I grab a plastic cup from her bag. “Just don’t let me get too drunk.”
“At least we’re already in bed if we do.” Annabel cackles, uncapping the bottle and pouring us both a glass.
“To a night of laughter, freedom, and bad decisions. Cheers.”
An hour later, I’m drunk. Not out of control, stomach churning wasted, but that warm and giggly drunk.
“This was a good idea,” I say, draining the last of my drink. “I feel so good.”
“Right? I don’t think we’ve ever done this, you know.”
“Gotten drunk?”
“Not like this, just the two of us.”
“I’m not a very good friend, am I?” I chase the shadows dancing across the ceiling. Billie Eilish blasts out of the docking station, serenading us about ocean-eyed boys that are dangerous for our hearts.
My mind instantly goes to Bexley. The way he kissed me… touched me… the way he made me come so hard I saw stars.
Heat unfurls in my stomach, and I let out a heavy sigh.
“What was that for?”
“Nothing,” I reply.
“You can trust me, you know. I know I don’t have a great track record with gossip, but I would never betray your confidence, Mia. I hope you know that.”
I glance over at her, surprised at the honesty glittering in her eyes.
“You don’t believe me?” Hurt flashes across Annabel’s expression.
“It’s not that, Bel, I just…”
Crap. The alcohol flowing in my veins is clouding my judgement. I want to tell her, I want to share the burden.
Bexley still hasn’t replied to my message. We spent an amazing night together, and then he just ghosted me… and it hurts.
Damn him, it really hurts.
“Oh, come on, babe. You’re killing me over here. Is it Cade? Did you two…” Her brows waggle.
“No.” God no!
“So what is it? Because I can see your secrets, Mia Thompson. They’re written all over your face.”
“It isn’t Cade.”
“So what, then…”
My breath hitches as the urge to confess overpowers me. I need to tell someone, I have to. It’s killing me, holding this all in.
“You promise you won’t breathe a word of it… to anyone?”
“Cross my heart, hope to die.” She drags her finger over her chest.
“You can’t tell a soul, Bel. I mean it.”
“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
“Oh, it’s bad,” I sigh. “Me and Bexley—"
“Bexley? As in Bexley Easton?”
I nod slowly, tears rushing up my throat and burning the backs of my eyes.
“Mia, what is it?” She sits up, looking cornered.
“We…” I can’t. I can’t tell her. But before I know what’s happening, the words are spilling out. “We slept together, Bel. I gave him my virginity.”
25
Bexley
Dad didn't come home last night. I should have called him, told him that I was in town, but if I'd dragged him away from some important business thing I'd have felt guilty. His life is already shit enough as it is because of my existence; I don't want to make it even worse.
Besides, part of me was scared he would reject me now.
I ended up drinking until I passed out after finding Dad's stash of scotch in the small kitchenette.
When I wake, I'm on the couch with a stiff neck, a bad back, and a pounding head.
The sun streams through the floor to ceiling windows that overlook the backyard and glistening blue pool.
My limbs ache for me to dive in and ease the stiffness with the warm w
ater, but the chance of Mom being home and coming out to try to talk to me makes it a little—or a lot—less appealing.
A groan rips from my lips as I push up until I'm sitting on the edge of the couch.
Dropping my head into my hands, I think back to the message I found sitting on my cell yesterday morning from Mia.
She wanted to know my plans because the asshole was away.
Typical that the weekend I take off is the weekend he also fucks off.
Karma really is a fucking bitch.
I want to feel bad about what happened between me and Mia. I should feel at least a little remorse, but I feel nothing.
Well, that's not true. Just thinking about her makes my chest tighten. The pain of her lying to me about who was on the other side of her dorm door is still fresh.
Why lie? What was the point?
We both knew what we were doing was wrong. It's a little late for her to worry about protecting me now.
If she were going to do that, then it should have been the night we first met.
But she didn't. She let me get close, and she allowed me to see her beauty.
I sigh, pushing from the couch and going in search of painkillers. Finding half a packet of Advil, I throw two back with some Gatorade I grabbed from the refrigerator.
I stare at the main house, wondering what the chances are of sneaking in so I can change. Hell knows I used to sneak in and out of that place like a pro back in the day.
Needing to do something other than spend any more time cooped up in here and hiding like a pussy from my mother, I swing the door open and step out into the warm morning sun.
I slip through the back door, moving as silently as I can and finding that remembering the noise spots is a little like remembering how to ride a bike. Those little creaky patches are ingrained in my brain, and I move on instinct.
I don't look around my old room. There are too many memories of a life I fucked up. I'm way too hungover to deal with those regrets right now. Instead, I rush toward my closet and pull out some workout clothes.
I shed everything I'm still wearing from two days ago and pull them on before making the journey—once again unnoticed—to the back door.
Pushing aside my hangover and the marching band that's taken up residence in my head, I take off down the driveway and out onto the sidewalk, taking the route I always used to.
As I run, I focus on the movement of my limbs and the rhythmic pounding of my feet on the sidewalk. For that small amount of time, everything else ceases to exist. I can imagine that my life is still here, that I still have football and a future that I crave. That I didn't fuck every single thing up.
I might have lost it all and been forced to move, but really, nothing changes. Because I still end up screwing everything up.
I've chased and touched the one person in that godforsaken town that I shouldn't have, and eventually, I'm going to pay the price for that. And something tells me that when that mistake catches up with me, it's going to make what Ace Jagger put me through look like child's play.
I run until my lungs burn and my muscles quiver with the need for rest. But I don't slow to a walk until I hit the beach.
My feet sink into the golden sand as I step down onto the beach I used to spend so much time at as a kid.
The tide is out, so I keep walking until the ground hardens beneath me and I get to the ocean's edge.
Slipping off my shoes and socks, I carry them in one hand as I begin walking along with the water lapping at my feet, just absorbing the familiar comforting sounds of the crashing waves and families enjoying themselves.
I'm lost in my own world, watching the waves when I sense two people in front of me.
Reluctantly, I lift my head to see who I'm about to collide with. Dread sits heavy in my stomach that I'm about to come face to face with some of my old friends that I let down and abandoned.
It took me quite a few weeks, but eventually, I did some research and discovered who took my place as captain of the Seahawks. Part of me wanted to see them crash and burn without me, but deep down, I was happy that they were thriving and went on to achieve success, despite how much it killed me.
It should have been my year. My epic win. But I wasn't even in the stadium for their final game.
I lift my eyes at the very last minute, and they land on the one and only person I'd be willing to talk to in this town right now.
Hadley Rexford.
Okay, Hadley Rexford and a shocked but angry-looking Cole Jagger, her boyfriend.
His shoulders widen as our eyes hold. He pulls Hadley into his side as if I'm an actual threat to her safety.
It should piss me off. But I get it.
I fucked up, and I need to pay the price.
"Danforth," he growls. "Thought we'd seen the back of you for a while."
Ignoring Cole, I keep my eyes fixed on Hadley's.
"We need to talk," I state as Cole's grip on her becomes borderline painful, I'm sure.
I understand. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't want my girl anywhere near me either.
Hell, I experience the exact same thing as Cole every time Cade so much as looks at Mia, let alone anything else.
The images of them kissing, of him touching her, flicker through my mind briefly, but I force it down into its box.
This is not the time.
"Like hell you do," Cole growls, attempting to steer Hadley around me.
"Wait, please. My name…" I start, and thankfully Hadley forces Cole to slow down a little. "My name isn't Danforth. It's Easton." I hold Hadley's eyes and watch as understanding and recognition hit her.
"Holy shit," she gasps. "For real?"
I ignore Cole's death stare and act as if he's not standing there.
Taking a step toward Hadley, the one person from my past who understands my future, I suddenly feel a little lighter.
I have someone to actually talk to about all of this.
"Marcus, the guy from the wedding. He's not my uncle. He's my grandfather. And…"
"You're the only Easton heir," she finishes for me.
"Apparently so."
"Fuck." She drops to the sand and pulls her knees up to her chest for a few seconds as she thinks.
I sit down beside her, and finally Cole does the same.
"So… um… your dad d-died in a car crash, right? His wife, your—" I shake my head to stop that train of thought.
"My mom is my mom. She got pregnant by Richard Easton and ran before anyone found out."
Her lips part before she closes them again, having found no words.
"Mom lied to Dad and me this whole time. Somehow Marcus found out and the timing was perfect, because my parents were more than ready to pack me up and send me away.
"I did almost a year there with no idea who I was or what all of it meant.
"And then came the new moon ceremony and—" She sucks in a deep breath and covers her hand over her mouth.
"Bexley, you're Electi initium." It's not a question. It doesn't need to be.
Pulling my shorts up higher on my thigh, I show her my still red scar from the blood sacrifice they forced on me.
"What the fuck is going on here?" Cole barks, clearly not understanding anything we're saying. I get it, it took awhile for it to make any sense to me too.
I look from Cole and back to Hadley.
"Yes, Bex. Always," she assures me, answering my silent question as to whether we can trust him or not.
Hadley very quickly skims over the details of Gravestone. She misses a ton out, so I can only assume that Cole already knows some of this twisted shit.
"Bexley is now one of the most important people in the town. But don't think that's a good thing. Because in my opinion—sorry, Bex—it's a death sentence."
"Don't worry, I feel the same right now."
"He gets initiated in. Tasks are set by Quinctus and the other Electi. They can be brutal. Guys have died in the past, trying to claim their rightful place."
/>
Cole frowns, clearly having a hard time understanding why anyone would put themselves through that. "Just walk away."
"He can't. That's an even bigger death sentence."
"Marcus wants me to take down Cade," I blurt for the first time, and it feels so good to let it out.
"Oh?" Hadley's eyes widen. "But he's…"
"King? Yeah, I got that fucking memo." I scrub my hand through my sweat-damp hair and look out to the sea. "According to Marcus and your… father," she sucks in a breath at the mention of him, "he's getting out of control. I can't help but agree with them after the shit he's put us through."
"Us?" Her eyes narrow and I chastise myself. "Is someone else initiating with you? And what's my father got to do with this?"
"I… uh… I've just had a chance to talk with him about it, that’s all."
She holds my eyes, clearly sensing that I'm not telling her the whole truth. But like fuck am I going to sit here and tell her she's got a new brother. That is not my place.
"You should come back, Hads. Visit your parents. Things have… things have changed recently and—"
"Do you know why I left?" she asks, cutting me off.
I shake my head. "I've heard rumors. Nothing concrete."
"I fell in love with Tim," she admits, much to Cole's irritation if his curled fists and white knuckles are anything to go by. "He got me pregnant."
"Jesus, Hads." I scrub my hand down my face as I let this new information sink in. "But Fawn is his prosapia."
"Exactly. See my issue?"
I think of Mia, of the thoughts I had about my biological father and my mother on the drive here.
This is another thing pointing to the fact that whatever is growing between us will never work.
She's not mine, and I can't have her.
I bend my legs and drop my head to my knees. "This is such a fucking mess," I mutter as Hadley's warm hand lands on my back.
"I wanted to kill you for what went down with Remi, Bex. But this… I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
"I was lucky, I guess. My father found out the truth and I was exiled. It worked out perfectly for me. But I know that things are very different for male heirs. If I were a boy and this happened then… I can only imagine what they'd have done to me. I guess it's good that I never had a brother."
