Not until we sort ourselves out and have that talk we were both mentioning.
“Addy.” His voice. Oh my gracious, his voice is low and deep and he might as well have just asked me to have sex with him for how sensual it sounded in those two syllables. My name. That’s all he said and I’m a lit firework.
Slowly I lift my eyes, cataloging every feature along their path. The quick bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows. The scruffiness that covers his strong, square jaw and chin and around his mouth. My fingers itch to feel it under my nails.
“Addy,” he says again.
I nod my head. Just barely. So slight, in fact, I’m surprised he notices but he does.
“You have to tell me the words, Addy. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore so if you’re not okay with me coming into your bedroom right now, then you need to tell me. I have no more will power left to stop myself so you have to do it for us. And if you don’t, I’m going to lay you out beneath me and I’m going to spend the next several hours discovering every inch of your body that I’ve missed out on the last decade that I’ve wanted you with every cell of my being.”
“Holy shit,” I whisper. “Yes.” The word is barely out of my mouth when I’m being pushed back, my bedroom door closing behind us and locked. With one hand around my waist, he keeps walking us until the backs of my knees hit the edge of my bed.
“Addy. I need to kiss you,” he says in the lowest voice I’ve ever heard from him.
And when he follows it up with our first real kiss?
I want to cry and scream and jump up and down with happiness all at once.
And thank goodness he’s not finished. Oh, no. He’s far from finished. He pushes me onto my back, my leg bent in between his and then his tongue is inside my mouth.
Beau’s kissing me.
Really, really kissing me. It’s an unforgettable kiss that has my toes curling and my fingers gripping his shoulders as our tongues tangle and plunge. We kiss like our lives depend on it until we have to separate to catch our breath. My head turns to the side as he devours my neck. Licking, sucking, biting. It’s all so much and not enough. Our mouths collide again in a frenzy. Our hands roaming and touching. Under my shirt, his callouses against my side sends shivers rolling through my body. My nails drag down the muscles of his chest, loving the feel of his strength. His fingers grip my thigh, flexing and massaging. It sends a spark right to my center.
Then it hits me. I can’t go further with him until he knows. He needs to know, deserves it. He had the courage to tell me how he felt and I didn’t return the favor.
I pull away, my head slamming hard into my pillow.
His eyes dart over me, checking me out but this time not in a sexual way. He’s worried. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Feel okay? Am I pushing you too much?”
“No. No, I feel fine,” I assure him. “A little tired, but fine.”
“Okay, then.” He pauses but I can tell he doesn’t fully believe me. He leans up on an elbow. “You sure? We can go to sleep right now.”
I shake my head and look him in the eye. “If you stop now, I’ll be forced to get violent. I want you, Beau. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life. I’ve wanted all of you for a long time and that won’t ever go away. I know this because for the past several years, I haven’t been with anyone besides myself because no one compares to you.”
He lets out a feral growl and slams his mouth onto mine, twisting so he’s draped over me. His hard and strong body a welcome weight on top of me. His hands cradling my head. It feels so good to be touched by him. With him. In the way I’ve longed to be with him for so many years.
“Why did we wait so long?” he asks, lips against my skin as he kisses all over my face. My cheeks, tip of my nose, forehead, eyelids, ending, blissfully, on my lips, preventing me from answering. Not that it matters, because I don’t have an answer anyway. As far as I know, the only reason either of us wasted time not admitting to each other that we want more than friendship was because we were scared. Like idiots.
We lie on my bed, making out like a couple teenagers without the fear of being caught, rolling around and swapping positions. Me on top, him on top. Lying on our sides. Hands roaming everywhere they can. I’m on fire, heart racing and every pulse point in my body is pounding.
It’s perfect. Exactly how I’d always envisioned making out with Beau would be.
Well, aside from keeping quiet as to not wake up my daughter.
Holy crap.
My daughter is right down the hall.
What the heck are we doing!
Not that I want to stop, and the door is locked, but still… isn’t this inappropriate or something? Though, couples still have sex and are intimate with each other when their kids are in the house, right? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been part of a couple while also being a mother. But I’m not even sure that’s what we are.
“What are we doing?” I ask, completely out of breath.
“Kissing.”
“No. I mean, what are we doing?”
“Making out.” He rubs the tip of his nose along my jaw. “Getting to know each other.” He massages and squeezes my breast. “Showing you how much I want you.” His talented lips move lower, lower, lower. Kissing me over the thin fabric of my tank top.
My back arches and I wiggle under him, needing more.
So much more.
Everything.
“But to ease your worries, we’re together. I should have told you how I felt but everything felt complicated and wrong. And it might seem like we’re skipping steps here, but we aren’t. Not really. Because the way I feel for you isn’t new or out of nowhere. It’s been there all along. I was just too scared to do something about it. If you didn’t feel the same way, or if it didn’t work out… fuck, Addy. I can’t lose you.”
“I know what you mean.”
He nods. “But I can’t put those feelings aside any longer. You and me? Nothing else makes sense to me like being with you does.”
“I feel the same. So are we like… a couple, now?”
“Oh, yeah,” he says lowly. “We’re definitely a couple. Exclusive, in case you had any questions about that. I don’t share.”
“That’s good because I find that I’m pretty selfish when it comes to you.”
“Lucky me.”
He smiles widely.
Then…
I feel his hand slip beneath the waistband of my shorts, eyes glued to mine, making sure I’m okay with moving in this direction.
The last time someone else had his hand on me, I got pregnant with Zoey.
To say that I’m ready is an understatement.
Putting aside the knowledge that the last person to touch me was Beau’s brother, because there’s no room for that right now.
Rather than using words, I show him how ready I am by pushing down my shorts and doing my best to kick them the rest of the way off. He’s tentative at first, not just going in like I can see on his face he’d like to. For me, over fifteen years of what I thought was unrequited love is bubbling to the surface and I’m. Over. It.
Ready for the next stage.
The stage where the un is removed from the unrequited part of my love for him and we can finally, finally be what we were always meant to be.
“Beau,” I whisper, throaty and a little moan.
“That’s it,” he says, playing, getting to know what I like, what sets me off. Seems he doesn’t have to work too hard. He’s a quick learner. Or, maybe I’m just easy. Maybe a little of both considering how turned on I am right now. “Show me, honey. I want to see what gets you off.”
Beau.
That’s what — or who — gets me off.
Every orgasm I’ve given myself has been to the vision of Beau behind my eyelids. But I’m too embarrassed to admit that to him. He might love me. He might be in this now. But he doesn’t need to know how pathetic the last fifteen years have been for me pining over a man I didn’t think w
ould ever return that love.
“Beau,” I moan softly. “Right there,” I tell him when he curls two fingers inside me while his thumb goes to work.
“Yeah?”
I nod, swallow hard and grapple for him, needing to feel more than just his chest. I slip a hand under his shorts and then…
“Holy shit,” I practically cry out, eyes wide.
“Why, thanks,” he says, grinning down at me, still working me.
“Beau. What the hell?”
“Is there a problem?” He smirks while adding another finger and words evade me. Hell yes, there’s a problem. He’s not small. And I haven’t had anything but a dildo or fingers (my own but now his, too) for years and even though I did, in fact, squeeze a human out of my vagina, it’s not as though it’s ready to take on thunder dick.
Nerves threaten to take over, not only from his size but from the sheer magnitude of what’s happening right now, but I push them away. No room for those pesky things when I’m in the middle of receiving my first orgasm from Beau. I mean, really, could there be a better way to get over an allergic reaction?
It’s time to show him what I’m capable of. That I’m not going to be boring in the bedroom, which, of course, is one of the things I was so nervous about. It’s not that I have a lot of experience, but I know what I like.
I squeeze lightly, then remove my hand, keeping my eyes locked on him, I bring it to my mouth and with the flat of my tongue, I wet my palm before bringing it back down to touch him. Play with him the same as he is with me.
“Holy shit, that was hot.”
I grin and work him. Thumb sliding over the head of his dick, I use the little drop of moisture to my advantage. He jerks a little bit, his hips thrusting up as if he can’t help himself.
The only sounds in the room is our heavy breathing. Each of us panting and whispering each other’s name while encouraging the other not to stop.
“Right there.”
“Oh, fuck yes.”
I need more wetness so I boldly remove his hand and replace it with my own. His pupils dilate to the point all I see is black and then I’m working again.
“Fuck me, Addy. That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he growls, slamming his mouth to mine. I’m glad he thinks so because it was way outside my comfort zone. I’m already learning, though, with Beau? I’m not ashamed to show him what I want. How I like it.
“So… good. Beau. Oh my god.”
“You feel so damn good. Can’t wait to be inside you. Come with me. I’m so close already, Addy. Come with me.”
“I’m there. Com… Coming!”
And we explode together.
Stars and fireworks burst all around us. The air is scented with us and I breathe it in deeply, hardly believing that tonight just happened.
For several minutes we lie here. His hand still near my still pulsing center and mine, still unfortunately a little covered with him.
Wishing he hadn’t moved to the side but knowing that for what we just did to happen, he needed to shift. I can’t wait until he’s inside me again. I just came and I’m already ready for it again.
His chest moves up and down and I look up at his so very handsome face in time to see him swallow hard.
“Addy.”
“Beau,” I whisper.
He bends low and presses his lips to the top of my head. “We need to clean up but I don’t want to let you go.”
“Only to wash up.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
It should be awkward, cleaning up in front of him, but it isn’t. Though, he does leave me alone while I use the toilet.
When I come out of the bathroom, my heart nearly stops when I see him sitting on the edge my bed, shorts back on, unfortunately. His forearms are resting on his thighs and his face is aimed toward the floor.
Walking into my bedroom naked should feel intimidating.
But when he looks up and there’s only heat in his eyes as he takes me in, it’s anything but intimidating. I’m instantly thrust back into moments ago when we were making each other come with our hands and heat furls in my stomach.
“I don’t want to leave you. Fuck me, I don’t. I want to spend the rest of the night fucking you so hard that you feel me between your legs for the next week. But I can’t stay in your bed with Zoey down the hall. If she wakes up before us it’ll only confuse her.”
“I know.” And I do. I don’t like it, but I know. And I agree. But, yeah, I really don’t like it. I cover my breasts with my arms, feeling a little nervous.
He reaches a hand out and pulls me to him. “Don’t cover yourself from me. I know this is new and different but I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything. So please, God, please don’t cover yourself up. I want to see all of you all the time.”
“I’m supposed to walk around naked now?”
“Yes.”
I grin and he rests his forehead on my stomach, wrapping his arms around my thighs but not allowing his fingers to drift up where I want them most.
“I meant it,” he says. Then he looks up at me with so much vulnerability in his eyes that it almost makes my knees buckle. “I’m in this, Addy.”
Chapter Fifteen
Beau
“Good morning,” comes Addy’s soft voice behind me. I turn around in my chair on the back patio and hold out a hand, beckoning her to me. I set down my coffee on the table so I don’t spill it. I need both hands for what I have planned.
“Morning.” I pull her down onto my lap and wrap an arm around her, holding her to me. With pressure on the back of her neck, I let her know what I’m looking for.
Her answering smile greets me a second before her lips do. She tastes like mint from brushing her teeth and a hint of her first sip of coffee. Delicious. Addicting.
“Mmm.” She hums and the vibration hits me, triggering the same primal need I had for her last night when I came to her bedroom. Damn, that was hot. I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on than I was when I knocked on her door.
After waking up in Zoey’s room, I went to my own. But then I heard noises coming from Addy’s room and instinct took over.
“You taste good in the morning.”
“You say that only because I brushed my teeth before I came out here,” I say.
“Maybe that’s part of it, but you tasted good last night, too.”
I kiss her again, because last night we decided that was allowed and I intend to continue kissing her any chance I get. If I get my way, that’ll be for the rest of our lives. “So did you. But I need to tell you something.”
“What’s that?” she asks, kissing my lips once more.
“I have some regrets.”
Alarm takes over her beautiful face.
“Regrets?” she whispers and tries to get off my lap.
“Yeah. There’s a lot more of you I didn’t taste last night. I regret that.”
She whacks me in the shoulder. “You jerk! I thought…”
“I know what you thought. But I can’t resist teasing you.”
“You always tease me. Why should I expect any different now?”
“You love it.” Her eyes soften and I know that she knows what I really meant was ‘you love me’. We haven’t said the words yet, but they’re there. The words have always been there.
“I do,” she admits quietly.
“You gonna let me take you out on a proper date?”
She presses her lips together to hide her smile but it doesn’t work. I see it. I see the happiness that she’s feeling at the idea of us going on an actual date and it doesn’t suck. I love that I’m giving that to her. It makes me feel like shit that I’ve made both of us wait this long but no more dwelling on that. We’re here now, and that’s what matters. That, and what we have to look forward to.
With my hand on the back of her neck, I bring her lips to mine and murmur against them. “I want to do this right. We skipped ahead last night, and I lov
ed every minute of it, but you deserve more than me attacking you in your bedroom because I’d lost the fight against my will power.”
“In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t mind one bit.”
“Yeah, I got that in the way you were right there with me.”
“Why did you come to my room last night?”
“I think it was fairly obvious,” I tell her, deflecting. I don’t want to embarrass her.
She shakes her head. “I know that wasn’t it. It may have turned to that, but I know you, Beau. There’s no way you came to my room hoping to get some.”
“I told you I needed to tell you something then I fell asleep with Zoey before I could.”
Addy sits back and gives me her mom look and I try, and fail, not to laugh. It’s also a little concerning how well it works. “Fine. I fell asleep reading with Zoey and when I woke up I was cursing myself for doing so. I knew I’d missed my chance to talk to you and admit that I wanted more but I didn’t want to wake you up and have a heart-to-heart in the middle of the night. But then I heard something and I couldn’t stop myself.”
Her eyes widen. “Heard what?”
I dip my chin and give her a look of my own. “What do you think I heard?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers.
“Oh, I think you do.” With my fingers threaded through her long, tangled, sleep-messed hair, I pull her to me and give her a proper good morning. This is done for a couple of reasons. One, because it gets her mind off being embarrassed about me hearing her masturbating last night. And two, because I can’t seem to resist kissing her every chance I get now that I have her in my arms.
“I can’t get enough of you,” I say against her lips and I feel her smile right before she dives in for more.
She turns her head, going in for a different angle and I love that she’s bold. That she’s taking what she wants. And I love even more that what she wants seems to be me. Fuck, I wish I would have grown a pair years ago and gone for it with her. I’m an idiot.
“I know the feeling. I knew I’d love kissing you, but I had no idea it’d be this good.” Her words are a direct shot straight to my dick and damn if I don’t want to stand up, throw her back on the table, and take her right here.
The Path To Us: A Single Parent Romance Page 15
