Do Penguins Have Knees?

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Do Penguins Have Knees? Page 24

by David Feldman


  rear windows of

  rentals, cost in Florida of

  side-view mirrors

  speed limits

  speedometers

  tire tread

  weight of batteries

  white wall tires

  windshield wipers, versus buses

  Autopsies of executed criminals

  “Ax to grind,”

  Babies

  blinking

  burping

  hair color

  high temperatures, tolerance of

  sleep

  Baby corn, in supermarkets

  Baby pigeons, elusiveness of

  Baby Ruth, origins of name

  Baby shrimp, peeling and cleaning of

  “Back and fill,”

  Back tapping during physical exams

  Backlogs in repair shops

  Bad breath, upon awakening, in the morning

  Badges, marshals’ and sheriffs’

  Bagels, holes in

  Bags under eyes

  Bags, paper, jagged edges and

  Baked goods

  Pennsylvania and

  seven-layer cakes

  unctuous taste until cooled

  Baked potatoes in steak houses

  Ball throwing, sex differences and

  Ballet, “on pointe” in

  Balls, orange, on power lines

  Balls, tennis, fuzz and

  Balsa wood, classification as hardwood

  Banana peels as slipping agents

  Bananas, growth of

  Band-Aid packages, red tear strings on

  Bands, tardiness of, in nightclubs

  Bands, marching, formation of

  Bands, paper, around Christmas card envelopes

  Banking

  ATM charges

  hours

  Barbecue grills, shape of

  “Barbecue,”

  Barbie, hair of, versus Ken’s

  Barefoot kickers in football

  Bark, tree, color of

  Barns, red color of

  Bars

  mirrors in

  sawdust on floor of

  television sound and

  Baseball

  black stripes on bats

  Candlestick Park, origins of

  cap buttons

  caps, green undersides of

  circle next to batter’s box in

  dugout heights

  first basemen, ball custody of

  home plate sweeping, by umpires

  home plate, shape of

  Japanese uniforms

  “K,” as symbol for strikeout

  pitcher’s mound, location of

  Baseball cards

  wax on wrappers

  white stuff on gum

  Basements, lack of, in southern houses

  Basketball

  24-second clock in NBA

  duration of periods in

  Basketballs, fake seams on

  Baskin-Robbins, cost of cones versus cups at

  “Batfowling,”

  Bathrooms

  group visits by females to

  ice in urinals of

  in supermarkets

  Bathtub drains, location of

  Bathtubs, overflow mechanisms on

  Bats, baseball, stripes on

  Batteries

  automobile, weight of

  concrete floors and

  drainage of, in cassette players

  nine-volt, shape of

  sizes of

  volume and power loss in

  “Battle royal,”

  Bazooka Joe, eye patch of

  Beacons, police car, colors on

  “Bead,” “Draw a,” origins of term

  Beaks versus bills, birds and

  Beanbag packs in electronics boxes

  Beans, green, “French” style

  Beards on turkeys

  “Bears [stock market],”

  “Beating around the bush,”

  Beavers, dam building and

  “Bedlam,”

  Beds, mattresses, floral graphics on

  Beef, red color of

  Beeps before network news on radio

  Beer

  and plastic bottles

  steins, lids of

  temperature in Old West

  twistoff bottle caps, merits of

  Beetle, Volkswagen, elimination of

  Bell bottoms, sailors and

  Bells in movie theaters

  Belly dancers, amplitude of

  Belts, color of, in martial arts

  Ben-Gay, creator of

  “Berserk,”

  Best Foods Mayonnaise, versus Hellmann’s

  Beverly Hills, “Beverly” in

  “Beyond the pale,”

  Bias on audiotape

  Bibles, courtrooms and

  Bicycles

  clicking noises

  crossbars on

  tires

  Bill posting at construction sites

  Billboards, spinning blades on

  Bill-counting machines

  Bills versus beaks, birds and

  “Bimonthly,”

  “Bingo,” origin of term

  Binoculars, adjustments for

  Bird droppings, color of

  “Birdie,”

  Birds

  bills versus beaks in

  coloring of

  death of

  direction of takeoff

  droppings, color of

  honking during migration

  jet lag and

  migration patterns of

  sleeping habits of

  telephone wires and

  walking versus hopping

  worms and

  See also specific types

  Birthday candles, trick

  “Birthday suit,”

  Biting of fingernails, reasons for

  Bitings in keys

  “Bitter end,”

  “Biweekly,”

  Black

  clothing and bohemians

  gondola color

  judges’ robes

  specks in ice cream

  stripes on baseball bats

  “Blackmail,”

  Blacktop roads, lightening of

  Blades, razor, hotel slots for

  Bleach, flour and

  Blind

  money counting

  wearing dark glasses

  Blinking and babies

  “Blockhead,”

  Blood, color of

  Blouses, women’s, lack of sleeve length sizes in

  Blue

  as color for baby boys

  as color of blueprints

  as color of racquetballs

  in hair rinses

  “Blue blood,” origin of term

  Blue Demons and De Paul University

  Blue jeans and orange thread

  “Blue jeans,”

  “Blue moon,”

  Blue plate special, origins of

  Blue ribbons (as first prize)

  “Blue streak,”

  Blueprints, color of

  “Blurb,”

  Blushing and feelings of warmth

  Boats, red and green lights on

  “Bobbies [London officers],”

  “Bobby pins,”

  Body hair

  loss of, in humans

  pubic hair, purpose of

  underarm hair, purpose of

  Body odor, human immunity to own

  Boeing, numbering of jets

  “Bogey,”

  Boiling water during home births

  Bombs and mushroom clouds

  Book staining, of paperback book pages

  Books

  checkered cloth on

  pagination in

  Boots on ranchers’ fence posts

  “Booze,”

  Bottle caps, beer, twist-off, merits of

  Bottles, cola, one- and two-liter

  Bottles, soda, holes on bottom of

  Boulder, Color
ado, magazine subscriptions and

  Bowling, “turkey” in

  Bowling pins, stripes on

  Bowling shoes, rented, ugliness of

  Boxer shorts, versus briefs

  Boxers, sniffing and

  Boxes, Japanese, yellow color of

  Bracelets, migration of clasps on

  Brain, ten percent use of, alleged

  “Brass tacks,”

  “Bravo Zulu,” origins of

  Brazil nuts in assortments

  Bread

  “French” versus “Italian,”

  kneading of

  staling of

  yeast in

  “Break a leg,”

  Breath, bad, upon awakening, in the morning

  Brick shape of gold bullion

  Bricks

  holes in

  in skyscrapers

  Bridges versus roads, freezing characteristics of

  Bridges, covered, purpose of

  Briefs, versus boxer shorts

  Brights/dimmer switch, position of, in automobiles

  Broccoli and cans

  Brominated vegetable oil in orange soda

  Brushes, hair, length of handles on

  Bubble gum

  baseball card gum

  Bazooka Joe’s eye patch

  bubble-making ingredients

  flavors of

  pink color of

  “Buck,”

  Buckles, pilgrim hats and

  Buffets, new plates at

  Bulbs, light

  and noise when shaking

  halogen

  high cost of 25-watt variety

  Bull rings, purpose of

  “Bulls [stock market],”

  “Bunkum,”

  Bunnies, chocolate Easter

  Buns

  hamburger bottoms, thinnness of

  hot dog, number of in package

  versus rolls

  Burger King wrappers, numbers on

  Burials, position of deceased

  Burping and babies

  Buses

  entry into

  idling of engines on

  ridges on sides of

  seat belts and

  Busy signals, fast versus slow, on telephones

  Butter

  hardening after refrigeration

  sticks, lengths of

  versus margarine, in restaurants

  Butterflies

  rain and

  sneezing and coughing in

  “Butterfly,”

  Buttons, men’s versus women’s shirts

  Buzzing, bees and

  “BZ,” origins of expression

  “Cab,”

  Cable TV

  channel allocation of

  volume levels of

  “Caboodle,” “kit” and

  “Caddy,”

  Cadets, military, cap throwing and

  Cadillacs, ducks on

  Cafeterias, popularity of, among elderly

  Caffeine, leftover, from decaffeinated coffee

  Cakes

  angel food and cooling position

  reaction to loud noises

  seven layer, missing layers of

  Calculators, key pad configurations of

  Calico cats, gender of

  Calories, measurement of

  Calves, versus cows

  Cameras, black color of

  Camouflage, colors in

  Can openers, sharpness of blades on

  Canada Dry, origins of name

  Canadiens, Montreal, uniforms of

  Canceled checks

  numbers on

  returned, numerical ordering of

  white paper attachments

  Candles, trick birthday, relighting of

  Candlestick Park, origins of

  Candy

  Baby Ruth, origins of

  caramels versus toffee

  Milk Duds, shape of

  Oh Henry!, origins of

  placement in vending machines

  shapes of boxed chocolate

  wrapping of boxed chocolate

  “Cannot complete your call as dialed” telephone message

  Cans, aluminum, crushability of

  “Can’t hold a candle,”

  Capital punishment, hours of execution and

  “Capital punishment,”

  “Capitalization,”

  Caps and gowns, at graduations

  Caps, baseball

  buttons atop

  green undersides

  Captain, Navy and Army rank of

  Caramels, versus toffee

  Cardboard on automobile grills

  Carpenter’s pencils, shape of

  CAR-RT SORT on envelopes

  Cars. See “Automobiles”

  Cartoon characters

  Casper the ghost

  Donald Duck

  Goofy

  Mickey Mouse

  Cash register receipts, color of

  Cashews, lack of shells in

  Caskets, position of heads in

  Casper the ghost, identity of

  Cassette players, audio, battery drainage in

  Cassette tapes, audio, on roadsides

  Cat feces, as food for dogs

  Cat food, tuna cans of

  “Cat out of the bag,”

  “Catercorner,”

  Catnip and effect on wild cats

  Cats

  calico, gender of

  catnip

  ear scratching

  eating posture

  hair, stickiness of

  miniature

  sight, during darkness

  swimming and

  “Cats and dogs, raining,”

  “Catsup,”

  Cattle guards, effectiveness of

  “Cattycorner,”

  Cavities, dogs and

  CDs, Tuesday release of

  Ceiling fans

  direction of blades

  dust and

  Ceilings of train stations

  Celery in restaurant salads

  Cement

  laying of

  versus concrete

  Cemeteries

  financial strategies of owners of

  perpetual care and

  Ceramic tiles in tunnels

  Cereal

  calorie count of

  joining of flakes in bowl

  Snap! and Rice Krispies

  Chalk outlines of murder victims

  Champagne

  aluminum foil on neck of

  name of, versus sparkling wine

  Channel 1, lack of, on televisions

  Chariots, Roman, flimsiness of

  “Checkmate,”

  Checks

  approval in supermarkets

  numbering scheme of

  out-of-state acceptance of

  white paper attachments

  Checks, canceled

  numbers on

  returned, numerical ordering of

  white paper attachments

  Cheddar cheese, orange color of

  Cheese

  American, milk in Kraft

  cheddar, orange color of

  string, characteristics of

  Swiss, holes in

  Swiss, slice sizes of

  Chef’s hat, purpose of

  Chewing gum

  lasting flavor

  water consumption and hardening of

  wrapping of

  Chewing motion in elderly people

  Chianti and straw-covered bottles

  Chicken

  cooking time of

  versus egg

  white meat versus dark meat

  “Chicken tetrazzini,”

  Children, starving, and bloated stomachs

  Children’s reaction to gifts

  Chime signals on airlines

  Chirping of crickets, at night

  Chocolate

  Easter bunnies

  shapes of

  white versus brown

  wrap
ping of boxed

  Chocolate milk, consistency of

  “Chops,”

  Chopsticks, origins of

  “Chowderhead,”

  Christmas card envelopes, bands around

  Christmas tree lights

  burnout of

  lack of purple bulbs in

  Cigar bands, function of

  Cigarette butts, burning of

  Cigarettes

  grading

  odor of first puff

  spots on filters

  Cigars, new fathers and

  Cities, higher temperatures in compared to outlying areas

  Civil War, commemoration of

  “Claptrap”

  Clasps, migration of necklace and bracelet

  Cleansers, “industrial use” versus “household”

 

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