“It certainly is.” Lillian agreed. “Earl’s taking some to Cluny’s warehouse in the morning so we can share it with Chief and the other boys. He was planning to stop in and go to lunch with Chief anyway.”
Santos bounced in his seat. “I made a wish on Grandma’s candles too, Mama, but I’m not telling you because I really want it to come true. I’ll wish it again at the birthday party next month for me and Amber just to make sure.”
She swallowed the bite of cake and smiled. Her precious son.
When she woke the next morning, she cried with relief because she’d started her period right on schedule. Then she cried because Cluny hadn’t called her when he got home from San Diego.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Friday evening, five days later
Graciella couldn’t face him. Not after he’d failed to call her. She phoned Earl. “Could you take Santos to the game tomorrow? I have a private lesson with a new couple who recently signed up for a series. The only time they can come is on Saturday afternoons.” She glanced at Santos, sitting morosely across the kitchen counter. “You can? Thanks, Earl. He’ll be ready to leave at one.”
Santos frowned. “What should I tell Macfearsome?”
“Tell him the truth.”
It was mostly the truth. She’d asked the couple to come in on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday evening. They hadn’t been thrilled about changing their plans, but she assured them they’d be doing her a great one-time favor, and in return she’d give them a nice discount on the package. She now needed a valid excuse not to go to any of the games for the rest of the summer season.
Thursday evening
Marla called. “We missed you on Saturday. I hope everything is OK.”
“Yes, everything’s fine. I picked up a new couple who wanted their private lesson on Saturday afternoon. It’s a very nice fee. I couldn’t afford to pass up the income.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. At least Santos’s grandparents stood in for you.”
Graciella thought Marla suspected something was not right between her and Cluny, but all she said was, “Yes, I’m so glad they were there for him. Oh, Marla, I have to go. The last group for this evening just came into the studio. We’ll talk later.”
“OK, let’s try and get together for dinner soon.”
“Yes, let’s. Bye.” A sick feeling filled her chest. She hated brushing off Marla, but until Cluny made some effort to put things right between them, she saw no reason to discuss their differences with anyone.
Not only had he failed to called that Sunday evening as he’d promised, she’d heard nothing from him all week. She’d analyzed and re-analyzed her feelings before and after the fateful phone call eleven days ago. She was entitled to her feelings! Why was that so difficult for him to understand? He shouldn’t have accused her of wanting to pick his friends. He’d picked apart her words to make them suit his interpretation, not what she’d actually meant. How was she to know how prickly he could be?
The Amber-Santos birthday party was in two weeks. She had no idea how she’d handle the day. The kids had been looking forward to it all summer. The entire baseball team had been invited. If something didn’t give between her and Cluny, it was destined to be very awkward. At some point she’d have to confide in Marla. It would be much better to tell her the truth instead if leaving events open to speculation. She’d promised Marla she’d do her share to make the party a success. And she’d keep her word.
If only he’d call.
Santos’s conversation had consisted of one-word answers or grunts. It was increasingly difficult to overlook his moods and to find excuses why he couldn’t spend a day at Amber’s house. She practically had to drag him out of bed to get them to the studio on time in the mornings. He used to enjoy going to work with her during school vacations, helping at the studio, answering the phone. Now he resented every minute of it.
“Why doesn’t Macfearsome come here anymore?”
She didn’t meet his gaze. “He’s very busy.”
“Don’t answer me like I’m a baby! I have a brain, Mama.” His face brick red with anger, he scowled and put down his fork. “I’m going to my room.”
“No, sweetie, wait, I’m sorry. Finish your dessert. It’s complicated to explain.” She extended her hand and nodded at his chair.
He stood rooted to the floor. Finally, he took his seat but didn’t pick up his fork. “Why do grownups always say ‘it’s complicated’ when they don’t want to tell the truth?”
Santos had never taken this belligerent tone of voice with her before. Her heart ached. And not just because she’d been so unprepared to discuss this with him.
“The truth is it is complicated. Cluny and I had a misunderstanding.”
“What kind of misunderstanding? Do you still love him?”
“I—”
“Does he love you?” He’d leaned forward, challenging with his chin. “I know he loves me because he told me so when I asked him why he didn’t come here anymore, why we couldn’t be a family anymore.” His freckled nose wrinkled and tears filled his eyes. “He told me ‘it’s complicated.’ I hate you! I hate him!” With that, he shoved back from the table and ran to his room. His door slammed so hard the TV wobbled on its stand.
Her son’s bitter outburst hurt deep down. Graciella clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. She was the adult here. She would not react like a wounded child. She’d drawn her son into the budding love affair. He was innocent, his life turned upside down, and it was her doing. She’d been so filled with passion for Cluny that she’d neglected her responsibility as a mother.
If it were possible to go back in time, she wouldn’t have invited Cluny to join them for a cool drink on their beach blanket that day. She’d never have known what it was like to be with him, to love him, to anticipate him coming through the door. Even now, if she closed her eyes and held her breath, she could feel the heat of Cluny’s bare skin under her hands.
The doorbell rang.
Her heart leaped. It must be Cluny. It had to be Cluny. She flew to the door and pulled it open. The hopeful smile died on her face. “What do you want?”
Misty Beachy stared stonily. “We need to talk.”
The last human being on the planet Graciella had anything to say to would be this woman. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’m not leaving until you either let me in so we can speak in a civilized manner, or you can shut the door in my face and I’ll shout from out here. What’s it going to be?”
Graciella got a glimpse of Misty’s steel. A hint of the way she must have spoken to the men under her command. “My son is in the apartment. He’s still awake.”
“Then step outside and we’ll go for a walk or sit in my car. Make up your mind.”
Graciella gritted her teeth. “I have to let Santos know I’m stepping outside.” She made to close the door.
“Leave the door open. Tell him. I’ll wait here.”
Hands to her hot cheeks, Graciela hesitated then whipped around and strode down the short hallway. She knocked at the door to Santos’s room. “Santos? Honey, I’m stepping outside. I won’t be far away.” She heard nothing. “Santos, did you hear me?”
“Yes. Leave. I don’t care.”
This was a nightmare. Graciella turned on her heel, grabbed her keys, and stepped outside. She locked the door and followed Beachy to the parking area.
Beachy crossed her arms and leaned her hip against the front fender of her Jeep. “In the car or walk?”
“In the car so I can keep an eye on my front door.”
Misty opened the driver’s side and pointed across the hood. “Get in.”
Graciella got in the car and sat as far away from Misty as possible. Angry words spewed from her mouth, “Tell me what you want. Do you want Cluny? Take him. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“God! The two of you are beyond pathetic.” She pursed her lips and gripped the steering wheel. “If I didn’t love Mac, I
’d tell both of you to go to hell, but I do love him so I have something to say to you, and then I’ll leave.”
“I’d rather you—”
“Oh, shut up!” She slammed her fist on the steering wheel. “I’m only going to say this once so listen up!”
Stunned by Misty’s hot temper and the command in the small blonde woman’s voice, Graciella held her tongue. Pulse thundered in her ears. She’d let Beachy have her say then get out of there as fast as she could.
“Are you listening?” Misty stared hard into Graciella’s eyes.
Instead of answering, she glared. Who did the woman think she was?
“This is not easy for me to tell you. Mac and I served several months in a forward operating base in the middle of an active battle zone in Iraq. Dempsey and some of the other guys you met were there too. It’s impossible to feel safe, ever. Even inside the wire. You never knew when an RPG would detonate, or whether or not it was headed right for you. We were under mortar fire twenty-four-seven. You could be watching a movie or writing a letter or standing in the mess line. The threat of sudden death was constant. I felt my humanity slipping away inch by inch. It was impossible to sleep when the sirens went off at all hours of the day and night.
“One night warning sirens screamed for about the tenth time. I was shaking in every part of my body. I stepped outside the mess tent and slammed into Mac. I ripped into him from start to finish just because he was there. I choked and started to cry. He put his arms around me. I slapped and punched him, but he wouldn’t let go. When I got hold of myself, he walked me to my tent. He never said a word. At the door, he turned to leave. I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. It was wrong, but I didn’t care because I knew if I stayed alone I’d come unglued.”
Gasping, Graciella tried to picture what Beachy described. Acid reflux burned the back of her throat.
“We sat on the edge of my cot holding hands. Finally, Mac gently lowered me on the cot and held me. There was nothing sexual about it. We fell asleep. When I woke a few hours later he was gone.”
“But, I thought…”
Misty held her palm out. “Let me finish. Not long after that night we began to sleep together. What you need to understand is that it wasn’t passion or even love. It was one human reaching out to another human on the most primal level. Sex was how we maintained our sanity in the raging chaos around us. You have no inkling what it’s like to be a woman in a war zone during a long, dangerous deployment. We both could have been busted in rank for it, but a few of the men in the unit, like Gunny Dempsey, deflected the gossip. Mac never said word one to anyone about me. It’s easy for basic kindness and decency to deteriorate, even among the people you depend on for your very life.
“The day of the RPG ambush, the day Dempsey lost his leg, we were in a convoy heading back to Baghdad. Several of us got wounded.” She touched her ear unconsciously. “And a couple of guys in my squad were killed. It was indescribably ugly. I didn’t expect to get out of there alive. A helicopter gunship came in low and held off the bad guys until we could be extracted by a SEAL fire team. The one your husband was part of. Marv was killed within twenty-four hours of that incident.”
Tears clogged Graciella’s throat.
“Mac and I were on the same Medevac plane to Germany, but we didn’t see each other again for about three months. It was just before he was on his way to Walter Reed with Dempsey and I was shipping out to a facility on the west coast. The only thing that existed between us by then was a melancholy, a deep respect. We’d saved each other over there. Mac is responsible for me not being a total crazy bitch, a total lost cause. He’ll always be my best and most trusted friend.”
Graciella raised her hands to cover her face. Moaning softly, she shook her head for what they’d gone through. All of them, including Marvin. Finally, she understood why she had no reason to distrust the man she loved. He and this woman had connected during a nightmarish situation she could never imagine. Their devotion to each other was no threat to her. Had never been a threat to her.
“I had no idea. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Do you love Mac? Because if you do, get off your ass and figure out a way to patch it up with him. If you don’t love him then end it. I can’t stand to see him suffering like this. He’s one of the finest men I’ve ever known. Your kid would be lucky to have him for a father.”
A tear trickled down Graciella’s cheek. “I do love him. I just don’t know how to…”
“Then figure it out!” Misty pointed to the door. “I’m done. You can go back to your kid now.” Misty put the key in the ignition and started the Jeep.
The second Graciella closed the car door, Misty backed out and sped away.
She hugged herself against the chilly night air. Slowly, she walked back to her apartment. Santos’s bedroom door was closed and there was no light shining under it. She rapped softly.
“Santos? May I come in?”
His voice, muffled and sullen was barely audible. “Why?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’m asleep.”
Her lips twisted in a rueful smile. “Please?” She turned the knob ever so slightly. He hadn’t locked it. “Sweetheart?”
He was fully clothed, sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard. The vertical blinds on his window facing the parking area were open. “Who was that lady?”
Graciella crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed. “Cluny’s old friend from the Marines, Sergeant Beachy.”
“Why did you go out to her car?” He crossed his arms and scowled. “What were you talking about?”
“Were you watching me?” She put her hand on his leg. “I went outside because I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to hear our conversation.”
“Because you were talking about ‘it’s complicated’ grown-up stuff?”
“Um hum. That was it.”
“So, you’re not going to tell me.” He turned his head to face the window.
“No, honey, not tonight, but I promise I will soon.” She shook his foot. “Why don’t you take your shower and get ready for bed? I need to call Marla before it gets too late.”
“When can you take me to visit Amber?”
“Tomorrow’s Friday. I’ll ask her parents if it’s OK to bring you over to spend the night. How’s that?”
His face broke into a happy grin. “I know what I want for my birthday.”
“What?” She gave him encouraging smile.
“Macfearsome.”
“I can’t give you Macfearsome.”
“Why not? You took him away from me, and I want him back.”
Everything was so simple to a child. Perhaps they had the right idea. “I want him back too. I’ll see what I can do. I won’t make any promises.”
“OK.” Resigned, he scooted off the bed, got his pajamas from the dresser, and headed to the bathroom.
The minute Graciella heard the shower running she called the Dempsey house. Dwayne answered. “Dwayne? It’s Graciella here. Is it too late to talk to Marla?”
“No, she’s right here. Give me the boy, honey, Graciella’s on the phone.”
“Hey! What are you up to?”
“Do you have a few minutes to talk, Marla?”
“Sure, hold on a minute.” A chair scraped. “I’m going to take Graciella’s call in the den.” Footsteps, then a door closing. “There. We have privacy.”
“Could you keep Santos tomorrow night?”
“Sure. Are you and Cluny going out?”
“Not exactly. I’m going to his house and see if he’ll talk to me.”
“Finally! Are you going to let him know you’re coming?”
“I hadn’t planned to. I thought I’d just show up, not give him a chance to find an excuse not to see me.”
“He wouldn’t do that. He’s miserable. I’ve never seen him so down in the mouth. I hope you’re going over there to make up with him. If you’re feeling as rotten as he is, it
’s time to talk it out.” Marla sighed. “I’m one to talk. I have Amber to thank for being so single-minded in getting us back together after we split up.”
“You’ll have to tell me about that sometime.”
Marla laughed. “She’d be happy to share with very little prompting. What time will you be by?”
“Around three?”
“That works. He can have dinner with us. You too.”
“No, I want to get to Cluny’s house before he gets home. If it works out, we’ll have dinner together.”
Marla didn’t answer her.
“Marla?”
“I’m here. I, uh… Oh, heck, Graciella. Misty Beachy is at his place. She stopped on her way back to San Diego. We went out for pizza with them tonight. But they’re not…he’s not…”
“I know. That’s OK. I talked with her an hour ago. She was here.”
“What?”
“I won’t go into detail. Let’s just say she gave me a verbal slapping. I needed it.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed, my friend. You and Cluny and Santos are very special to Dwayne and me. We want nothing but the best for you.”
“Thank you, Marla. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, and keep those fingers crossed.”
Graciella clicked off and slumped against the couch cushions. Now she’d worry for the next several hours about how to break the ice with the man she loved. She’d be turning the words around in her head all night.
Cluny’s house, next afternoon
Cluny lounged against his porch railing. “Sure you can’t stay another night?”
“Yes, Mac, I’m sure. I have to get back to work.” Misty pointed to the duffle bag next to the door. “Would you carry that to the Jeep? I’ll make one more sweep through the bedroom and bathroom to make sure I don’t leave anything behind. You never know when your girlfriend might show up.”
Love of a Marine (The Wounded Warriors Series Book 2) Page 31
