by Mia Ashlinn
Between coughs, Sarah took a drink. The cold fluid felt good as it slithered down her throat, helping her clear the obstruction. When she finally caught her breath, she murmured, “Thank you.”
Katie-Anne nodded then returned to her seat, dropping down in an unladylike fashion that almost amused Sarah. Her sister-in-law went quiet as she twisted and turned in the boring-colored chair she sat in.
Silence stretched out between them until Katie-Anne broke the silence. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
Do I? Big fat, N-O. Quickly, she rushed to reply. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She sighed, giving in to the truth of the matter. “But I know I need to. I–I–I just don’t know what to say or how to say it.”
Katie-Anne leaned forward, brushing Sarah’s hair back from her face.
At first, Sarah flinched, but after her initial hesitation, she managed to relax.
Katie-Anne continued to caress Sarah’s hair, sliding her hand slowly and softly through the strands like a mother would for her injured child. “Tell me what he did to you,” she whispered. “We can go from there.”
Feeling her sister-in-law’s maternal touch and knowing her as well as she did, Sarah realized that she was the one to confide in. So she did.
As she stared over Katie-Anne’s shoulder, she riveted her eyes on the drab picture hanging on the wall. Then she began her harrowing tale. “W–W–We went out last night. Well, it was a disaster. Gavin is very”—she trailed off, unsure how to explain her attacker, with a sigh—“controlling and just plain mean. At first, I thought it was because he was a Dom and maybe that is still it. I don’t know. He confused me with all the things he said and did.”
That was an understatement. Her ex-boyfriend had spent many hours recounting his experience as a Dom. He’d sounded like a sadist, but not in the good way like she’d read about in the BDSM books her friend Ella had given her. Remembering his stories, she cringed at some of the things he’d shared with her.
And that hadn’t been the worst of it. Last night when she’d slept with him for the first time, he’d scared her. When she’d confessed her fear, he’d told her good. He wanted her to be terrified of him—the more frightened, the better. Then he’d only gotten worse. Losing her virginity to a man who treated her as callously as he had, hurting her and treating her like a doll for his own personal use, had been almost as bad as his attack.
Katie-Anne rushed to the defense of Doms everywhere. Or that’s what it sounded like when she said, “It was him. Doms aren’t cruel, and it sounds like he was.”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” Sarah snapped, her voice harsher than she’d ever heard it. “I won’t participate in that…that…that sort of thing again.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I can’t.”
Katie-Anne’s hand stalled in Sarah’s hair, and she frowned. “Don’t make any rash decisions. I get what you’re saying, but I think you need to give yourself time. Let Deke and Adam help you. They’ll show you what BDSM truly is about—being safe, loved, and cherished.”
Refusing to look at Katie-Anne, Sarah closed her eyes and turned her head away then growled. “Whatever. Last night, he wanted to fuck me. I hate that word, but that is what he called it. He wanted to fuck me, so he did, and I let him. I gave him my virginity. Only I couldn’t…well, you know…orgasm. And it made him mad, so he coaxed me into his car by saying he would take me home.” She’d been so relieved when he’d offered that she didn’t think about it. She’d followed him like a lamb for slaughter.
Snorting in derision, Sarah went on. “Like an idiot, I believed him, but he didn’t take me home. He drove straight out of town, and by the time I figured it out, it was too late for me to escape. We drove for a while in silence, and then he told me…”
Craving a moment to catch her breath, Sarah trailed off again, her sudden silence clogging the room. When she eventually resumed her story where she had left off, the emotion in the highly charged air had ramped up until it was nearly suffocating her. “He told me that he was taking me to The Edge. He th–th–thought that would solve my problem. If he could do more of the things that he’d been talking about for weeks, I could orgasm and everything would be hunky-dory between us. After the things he’d done and said to me, I was desperate to stop him, so I told him that Deke and Adam wouldn’t let us in. It pissed him off.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath, and her body trembled stormily. But she didn’t let that stop her. “He hit me across the face, but he kept going, his driving growing erratic and fast. While he gave me a lecture, he pushed every button that he could and threatened me in every way possible. And, yet again, I took it like a spineless jellyfish. Then he brought Deke and Adam back into it. Without thinking I said something back to him, and it set him off.”
By now, tears were gushing down Sarah’s face. “H–He pulled over on the side of the road. He punched me, dragged me out of the car, cut my clothes off, and then tied me up. He beat me with a cane then started to rape me. B–B–But, thank goodness, he didn’t. He had a hang-up about rape. Rather than violating me that way, he…you know, masturbated and ejaculated on me.” She shuddered, her violent tremor shaking the entire bed. “I know why he didn’t rape me, and I know why he came on me. He told me—explicitly.”
“Why?” Katie-Anne asked, her voice a mere croak. “Why didn’t he rape you?”
Turning her head back to Katie-Anne, she peered at her. “H–H–He loves me.” As soon as she whispered the words, she broke down completely, openly sobbing. She explained the rest of the story as best she could, talking between sobs and gulping breaths. “H–He said that I’ll come to him and that I’ll be his little toy for the rest of my life, but that wasn’t all he said. His next words were worse.”
Katie-Anne grimaced. “My God. What could he have said to you that was worse than this?”
Could she do it? God, she hoped so, because she had to try. Trying not to think about what she was going to say, Sarah whispered through dry, cracked lips, “Promise me you won’t tell anyone. Promise me that this one thing will be between us and us alone. If you tell me that, I will believe you and tell you what he said.”
Katie-Anne sighed. “I promise.”
“He said that his cum marked me like a dog pissing on his territory.”
“Oh, my God.” Katie-Anne gasped.
Sarah cleared her throat. “He, um, said that I was his property, and his cum made sure I would never forget it.”
Gavin was right. She wouldn’t forget him or his attack. But that wasn’t all she wouldn’t be able to erase from her mind. After today, she wouldn’t feel safe, loved, or cherished because she wouldn’t let anyone close enough to hurt her again.
* * * *
Present day in Kinky, Kansas…
Gnawing on her bottom lip, Sarah pushed aside the memory, forcing herself to return to the makeshift home spa in her old bedroom at The Edge. She couldn’t allow herself to go back. She’d worked too hard to overcome the issues Gavin had saddled her with. Now that she was here, she wanted to focus on her Doms and the future. Not the past that had nearly destroyed her.
In order to look forward to tonight and all the days to come, she had to reassure her worried sister-in-law. Otherwise, she ran the risk of being kidnapped for her own safety—until she could thoroughly convince her that she was ready to take on two Doms.
Since Sarah wasn’t feeling very patient, she had to get this job done quickly. Hoping to help her case and hurry things along, she said, “I’m ready for this, Katie-Anne. I know I am.”
Her sister-in-law whirled around and gave Sarah her back before answering tremulously, “I really hope so. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
For all their joking and picking, Sarah was confident in the love of her sister-in-law and her two closest friends. They were always there for Sarah—taking care of her, supporting her, and protecting her. Whatever she needed from friends, she got from these three. And as much as she adored Ansl
ey and Kylia, it was Katie-Anne, Jaycee, and Shannon that she turned to, especially her sister-in-law.
Katie-Anne was closer to Sarah than anyone. Other than Deke and Adam. That’s why she knew she had to reassure her sister-in-law. Deep down, that was probably the real reason Katie-Anne had come. She was checking on Sarah. Well, I’ll show her just how ready and happy I am.
“I won’t get hurt again, Katie-Anne,” Sarah answered honestly, knowing her next words would show her sister-in-law what she needed to see so she wouldn’t worry herself into an early grave. “Deke and Adam would never do anything to hurt me. They couldn’t because when I’m with them, I’m safe and loved and cherished. Isn’t that what BDSM is about?”
Katie-Anne exhaled in a loud rush, whipping around suddenly. “You mean that? After…”
Standing, Sarah strolled past a confused-looking Jaycee and an obviously befuddled Shannon and went to Katie-Anne. With a hug, she said, “I was wrong. I didn’t understand, but I do now. Submitting to the men I love with an open heart and mind is beautiful. There’s nothing that could sully or taint that.” She caught her breath before going on passionately. “Giving myself to Deke and Adam is a present to them. But it’s a gift to me, too, because I am submissive, just like they’re dominant. It’s a part of who I am. It’s an undeniable part. If I want to move on, to be happy and live in love, I have to embrace my needs. And they are the only two people in the world I love and trust enough to hand my heart and body to.”
Sighing, Sarah squeezed Katie-Anne tighter. “I have to do this—for me and for them.”
Katie-Anne stared at her, tears glistening in her eyes. “Then we have to get you ready.”
And they did.
Chapter 14
Feeling rested, relaxed, and seriously sexy, Sarah sauntered into The Edge’s lounge later that night. Even though she’d done this every evening for the past week, she knew tonight was different. She was here to get her Doms or she was here for them to get her, whichever way she wanted to look at it.
Smiling broadly, she worked her way through the crowd, nodding and greeting the other Doms and subs as she passed them. When she finally broke through the clumps of people, she spotted Ansley and Kylia at the bar. Without hesitation, she headed toward them.
“Hey, girlie,” Ansley said as soon as Sarah was in speaking distance. “You’re looking damn fine.”
Sarah couldn’t help it. She blushed under her friend’s praise. “Thanks. I had a lot of help.”
“You must have a beautiful canvas to start with. Otherwise, there’s only so much an artist can do,” Kylia commented as she stood up from the barstool and moved over so Sarah had somewhere to sit. “Have a seat. The Bosses are running a bit behind, but they’ll be here soon.”
Disappointment assailed Sarah. However, she squashed it down. They were busy men. Considering they oversaw a couple of Fortune 500 companies as well as consulted for several more and they owned numerous properties, tardiness and missed dates were bound to happen.
“No problem,” Sarah said as she settled on the barstool between Ansley and Kylia. “I’m sure they won’t be long.”
“I don’t know. They’re dealing with a difficult club situation.” Ansley grinned, evidently enjoying dishing on the latest gossip. “A couple of the club members got into a rather large-scale word war. If Hale hadn’t stepped in, the two Doms would’ve probably come to blows.” She giggled. “I would’ve loved to see that fight. My money was on Hawk beating BR’s ass. He might be a cocky bastard, but he is badass.”
Sarah had seen Hawk a couple of times in passing. He was huge, all muscle and power. She had a hard time believing that anyone could take him out, except for maybe Calen Kohler and Dominic Thornburg. The Edge’s two Heads of Security were quite possibly bigger and tougher than him. But who was BR? Had she met him? Rapidly scanning through her memory, she tried to place him. When she couldn’t, she asked, “BR?”
Kylia shrugged. “Asshole with a little dick and a big head.” That was all she said. But then she unexpectedly added, “I highly doubt you’ve met him. He is an elitist who only associates with those he deigns worthy of his attention.”
Ansley snorted. “Yeah, like five people on the whole fucking planet.”
More than likely, Kylia and Ansley were right. Before last week, Sarah hadn’t been exposed to that many of the Doms. Not considering she’d lived inside the walls of The Edge for the past year. Well technically, she’d stayed in a private wing, far out of the way of its members. Because of her secluded location, most of the Doms she knew either worked for Deke and Adam or were close friends of theirs. Otherwise, they weren’t allowed near her.
Smiling, Sarah shrugged. “No big deal. I’m sure we’ll meet sometime.”
Soon, she’d be introduced to BR, Hawk, and the rest of the Doms around the club. Being Deke and Adam’s sub would require it. She’d learned that fact over the last week.
In the past seven days, she’d met more club members than she had in the last year combined. And from what she’d heard, she’d only been exposed to a tiny fraction of the Doms and subs who visited The Edge.
“So, Sarah, did you enjoy your day with the girls?” Ansley asked out of the blue, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. “Those three hellions know how to have a hell of a good time.” She sighed, dramatically throwing her hand across her forehead. “I’m so jealous. Kylia here wouldn’t know how to have a good time if it hit her in the head. And a spa day, new clothes, and bitching shoes, that’s just too much for me to not hate you for.”
Before Sarah could reply, the bartender approached them. As soon as she saw who it was, she squealed. “Sam! What are you doing here?”
The adorable man with boyish good looks grinned crookedly, but his smile didn’t quite reach his blue eyes. “Deke asked me to fill in for Malkolm while he’s out of town.” Pushing his wavy chestnut hair out of his face, he winked theatrically. “And he wants to see my hot bod behind the bar. I’m awfully pretty to look at you know.”
Ansley patted Sam’s hand. “In your dreams, darling.”
Sarah chuckled. “Where’s Brett and Ethan?”
The Sam she knew disappeared in a flash. His face closed up completely, but not before she saw the loneliness flash in his eyes. “I guess they’re in Serenity with Josie.” He shrugged as though he were indifferent. Only he obviously wasn’t. “Not that I care. I’m taking lessons from you, making new friends, moving to a new place. I think it’s time for me to paint Luscious, Kansas, red.”
Oh yeah. Sarah had forgotten. Deke was helping Sam start over in the tiny bohemian town filled with artists. She’d just naturally assumed his best friends were going along. “That’s cool,” she said, playing off her misstep.
Instantly, his smile was back on his face. This time though, Sarah saw the cracks around the edges of his expression and had to bite back words of comfort. Thankfully, he spoke before she said something that would embarrass her or even worse, him. “I brought you a drink,” he said.
“She didn’t tell you what she wanted,” Kylia told him, her disapproval evident.
“I know Sarah,” he replied as he pushed a glass toward Sarah. “She loves her Cherry Coke.”
He was right. She always ordered that when she went into a bar. “Thanks, Sam.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied, glancing over her shoulder, his eyes trained on something or someone. “But you should thank Adam and Deke. They’re the ones who ordered it.” With that declaration, he vanished into thin air.
“Awww,” Ansley said sarcastically. “Isn’t that disgusting?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. Opening her mouth to shoot some smart-aleck remark back at her friend, she was stopped by a set of hands snaking around her waist. “Hi, sweet pea,” Adam whispered into her ear. “Sorry I’m late.”
Rotating her head enough to see Adam, she pecked a kiss on his lips. “You’re here now. That’s what matters, my love.”
He grabbed a fistful of hair and kissed he
r, really kissed her. He kissed her—and kissed her—until a male cough came from behind him. He pulled back from her, chuckling smugly. “Hold your horses, Deke. Can’t you see we’re busy?”
Deke growled.
“All right, you can have your turn.” Stepping away, he allowed Deke to move in on her.
Like his partner, Deke took her lips. Only his kiss was gentler, tenderer. When he pulled back, he murmured, “Was Sam good to you? I asked him to take care of you while you waited for us.”
What a liar Sam was. He wasn’t filling in for anyone, which was made crystal clear when Malkolm waved at her from the end of the bar. “Oh, yeah. He took great care of me.”
“Good,” Deke replied. “I didn’t want to have to kill anyone tonight. I have better plans.”
Ansley scrunched her nose. “Ew. I’m out of here before you start sharing your plans.” She popped up out of her chair. “See you later, Sarah. Have…fun.” Winking, she practically ran away.
Also standing up, Kylia muttered, “She’s so full of it. She’ll be dragging every detail out of you later, Sarah. You might want to hide.”
Sarah nodded. “I’ll do that,” she said to Kylia, who was already walking away.
“Finally,” Adam breathed. “We’ve got you alone.”
Staring at the room pointedly, Sarah snickered. “We’re hardly alone, Adam.”
“We will be,” he retorted ominously. “But first, we need to get you some dinner. Why don’t we head out? We’ve got reservations at Stanton’s. If we hurry, we’ll still make them. I do have a connection there with the chef.”
Sarah shook her head. “No. No dinner. Please,” she very nearly begged. “I want to be alone with you guys.” In your bedroom. Between you. Naked and moaning.
Adam looked at her intently. “Are you sure about that? If we go to our apartment now, we’ll keep you there until morning.”
