I thrust my hands into her long thick hair and kissed her soundly. When I came up for air, I saw a guy across the room watching us intently. One of my wife’s admirers, no doubt.
“Wow,” she said, giggling as she fanned her face. “And I thought I was hot before.”
“You were.” I grinned. “You can’t help being hot.” I thought of the things Jake had said earlier and decided to call her on it before it drove me crazy. “So I hear you’ve got your own fan club here, huh?”
She looked around, suddenly noticing dozens of eyes on us. “I perform here regularly. You get to know people.”
“And I get the feeling these people would like to know you a whole lot better.” My eyes traveled the room in a slow circle, glaring at anyone who didn’t have the good sense to look away.
Macy bit her lip as she looked at me. “The way you’re acting. It’s like this…” She whispered, “This marriage thing is for real.”
“What happened between us last night was as real as it gets,” I reminded her. “And the night before that.”
She grabbed my hand, leading me to a table in the back, near an exit door. “So what does that mean?” She pushed me into a chair before straddling me. “Are we a couple now or what?”
“What if I said I’d like to give it a try?”
Her eyes scanned my face. “This morning, I got the impression you were satisfied with things as they are. Continue having fun while you’re in town, but no expectations once you leave.”
“Is that what you want?” If it was, I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to handle that. I was already in too deep to pretend I could walk away without leaving a part of my heart with her.
She threaded her hands through my hair, oblivious to all the stares, thanks to our intimate position. “I want you, Kane. I have for a really long time.” She bit her lip as though she was weighing what she should say against what she wanted to say. “But that doesn’t mean I can have you.”
I loved her honesty; the fact that she was so blatant about what she wanted and the fact that happened to be me was a real turn-on.
“You can have anything you want.” I drew her closer, wrapping my arms around her as I buried my face in her neck. “Anytime you want.” I knew I’d embarrass myself if I had to stand up now, but Macy didn’t seem to mind, so neither did I.
“Careful,” she whispered breathlessly. “That may mean I call you at all hours, telling you how much I miss you…” She grinded against me, her breath hitching when I nibbled her neck. “How much I need you.”
“It’s a ten-hour drive,” I reminded her. “Less than a two-hour flight. I told you, I have a lot of vacation time coming to me. We could probably see each other every other weekend if we wanted to.”
She lifted her head, her eyes suddenly sharp and focused. “Are you serious?”
“Deadly.”
“But…” She bit her lip. “Kane, we’re already married.”
“I’m aware of that.” I raised my left hand. “And in case I ever forget, I have this to remind me.” Not that I ever would. Not thinking of Macy would be more of a challenge than forgetting her.
She laughed, looking confused as she shook her head. “This is crazy. I’m actually considering having a relationship with my husband.”
No matter how many times I heard her refer to me as her husband, I didn’t think I’d ever tire of it. Because I was starting to realize that may have been exactly what I was destined to be. “I know you think it could never work, because of the distance thing, but how will we know if we don’t try?”
“But aren’t we just setting ourselves up for heartbreak? Your vacation time will run out eventually, then we’ll be back to square one.”
I could only imagine how my heart would break if she sent me packing now. I curled my hands possessively around her curvy hips. “Look, there are no guarantees in life. You know that. This may work. It may not. But if we don’t try, we’ll never know. We’ll just be left with questions and no answers.”
“So you’re saying we should try to make it work to satisfy our curiosity?”
I’d enjoyed my time with Macy more than my time with any other woman I’d ever been with. Every day I found myself caring about her more and more. If that continued, and I was pretty sure it would, I’d have my answer about whether or not we belonged together. “I’m saying we should take a chance on each other. See where this could go.”
Her gaze collided with mine and held, and she suddenly looked nervous. “What if we fall in love? What then?”
Can’t you tell I’m already halfway there? “We’ll figure it out. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”
“What about our families? What are we going to tell them?”
“That we’re dating?” I didn’t want to hide my relationship with Macy from my brothers or sister-in-law, but I knew we couldn’t tell them we were married.
“You know Brody and Riley will go bat-shit crazy if—”
I silenced her with a kiss. “You just let me handle them, okay?”
Chapter Seven
Macy
The past few days with Kane had changed me. I was happier than I had been in years, maybe ever, and I didn’t want him to go. With my head resting on his bare chest, I struggled to find the words to make him understand how I was feeling. It was our last night together, and while I knew he had to go home, I didn’t want him to.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, sifting his hand through my hair.
I looked into his clear blue eyes, thinking how easy it would be to fall in love with him. If I wasn’t already. “I’m going to worry about you.” That was safer than telling him the whole truth—when he got on that plane tomorrow, he’d be taking a piece of me with him.
“Why?”
Every time I thought about him stepping into the path of some psychopath’s gun, I got a huge knot in my stomach. I hadn’t thought his career would bother me, but the more I grew to care about him, the more I feared for his safety.
“Most people run from gunfire, Kane. You run into it. That’s just crazy to me.” I shuddered when I imagined him crouched behind a parked car, using it to shield his body.
His grip on me tightened. “Don’t do that, Mace. Don’t shut down on me. Every woman I’ve ever cared about has eventually told me she’s not strong enough to handle what I do for a living. I need you to be strong. For me. For us.”
I thought I was, but the thought of losing him that way made me feel scared and weak. “I want to be.”
He lifted my face to his. “You have to be. I’m not going to lose you because of my job. I can’t.” When I would have argued, he covered my lips with his. “It’s one thing if you don’t think I can make you happy. I’d have to come to terms with that. But don’t tell me you can’t be with me because you’re scared I’m going to get killed in the line of duty. That’s not fair to either one of us.”
I wanted to argue but couldn’t. He was right. “I’ll try to be brave,” I promised, thinking how ridiculous that sounded, since he was the one with the courage to put his life on the line every day. I would just be the one sitting by the phone, praying when it rang it would be him and not his brother telling me something terrible had happened to him.
“So I’ve been thinking,” he said, as though he was looking for a subject change. “Since you’re self-employed, you don’t have benefits or insurance, right?”
“No, I don’t.” Thankfully I’d only ever required routine care and it hadn’t been exorbitantly expensive. “Why?”
“One thing about my job—great benefits. I’ll get you on my plan.”
“But…” I snapped my mouth shut, wondering if it was wise to make this arrangement more permanent. “That means you’d have to tell people about us. I thought we were going to keep it a secret for now.”
“I’m going to tell the people at work,” he said. “They’re like my brothers. I trust them with my life.”
The irony wasn’t lost on
me. He felt he could tell his coworkers about us, but not his real brothers. But police and firefighters worked closely together, and since Gabe was with the fire department, I had to assume they had a lot of the same friends. “How do you know one of them won’t let something slip?”
“Like I said, I trust them.” He brushed my hair off my face. “Besides, I want you to be listed on my contact info.”
“Me?” I didn’t know why that hit me so hard, but it did. “Are you sure?”
“If anything happens…” He kissed my forehead when I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the pain and fear those three words evoked. “Mace, it could happen to anyone. People die in car accidents every day.”
“I know.” Logically I knew that, but people didn’t get behind the wheel expecting to cross paths with a drunk or distracted driver. Kane strapped on his gun knowing he could have to use it to defend himself. Every. Day.
“Mace, listen to me.” He used his index finger under my chin to raise my face to his. “This can’t work if we’re guarded, if we go into it fearing the worst. You know that, right?”
“I know.” But my heart and head were at odds, because I couldn’t seem to control the terrible thoughts that plagued me. All the what-if scenarios made me wish he could stay with me and keep me safe instead of putting his life on the line to protect strangers. I knew it was selfish. We all owed guys like Kane a debt of gratitude for allowing us to sleep soundly at night, but I couldn’t help the way I felt.
“Did you talk to Brendan?”
I was surprised by the subject change, but I knew that was Kane’s way of distracting me. “Just briefly. He sounded like hell.”
“He probably feels like hell.” He ran his fingertips up and down my bare arm. “I know I would if the woman I loved and had been with for years told me she’d just married some other guy.”
Even though I’d married Kane for the express purpose of getting Brendan off my back, I still felt bad that he was taking it so hard. “He’ll get used to the idea of us being married. What choice does he have, right?”
“He doesn’t have a choice.” He rolled to his side, taking me with him.
Pressing his big body against me, I understood why Kane had chosen his profession. He had the innate ability to make people feel safe and secure without even trying.
“I’m going to miss this,” I whispered, finding the confession easier to make in the dark, where he couldn’t see in my eyes how much I would miss it. “I like sleeping with you.”
I felt his smile as he pressed his lips against my shoulder. “I’m going to miss it too. Sleeping alone sucks, especially when this is the alternative.”
Sleeping with Brendan hadn’t been like this. He’d had his half of the bed, and I’d had mine. That was the way I’d wanted it. But for reasons I wasn’t ready to analyze, I couldn’t get close enough to Kane.
“So, um, you said something about hooking up on weekends.” I didn’t want to seem pushy, but knowing I’d see him again in a couple of weeks would make it easier to let him go tomorrow.
“Not hooking up,” he said, his voice tight. “That’s not what I’m suggesting.”
I looked at him over my shoulder, but his handsome face was little more than an outline in the dark. “That’s not what I meant.” I didn’t want him to think I was trying to belittle what we were building.
“I know.” He sighed, holding me closer. “Sorry, I guess I’m just being overly sensitive. This being our last night and all.”
Nice to know I wasn’t the only one on edge. “I’m on the road a lot on weekends,” I said, thinking through the logistics of his proposal. “I’m here weekend after next though.”
“We’ll work it out,” he said confidently. “I work some weekends too, but I’m usually on call, so I couldn’t leave Tampa then. No reason I can’t catch a flight during the week if I can get a few days off and you don’t have a gig though, right?”
I loved that he understood my crazy life and schedule. Most men would already be giving me a hard time about not putting them first.
“How is it some smart woman hasn’t snapped you up by now?” I asked, linking my hand through his.
“Loving someone like me isn’t easy,” he whispered, his voice husky. “It takes courage.”
I thought of the fears I’d already expressed and felt guilty. I wanted him to know that even though I was scared, I wasn’t willing to let that stand in our way. “But you’re worth it.”
“Thanks, Mace.” He kissed my temple. “I hope you still think so a year from now.”
***
I wanted to drive Kane to the airport, but since he had an early morning flight, he insisted on taking a cab. He knew I had a gig that night and wanted me to go back to bed.
We were standing at the door, my arms wrapped around his waist, when my friend and neighbor from across the hall stepped out in her workout gear. She was a gorgeous redhead, but Kane didn’t even seem to notice her.
“Hey,” Courtney said, grinning at me. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”
I suppressed a sigh, knowing that was code for “your man is hot.” “Kane, this is my friend, Courtney.”
I watched him carefully, remembering how Brendan had had to wipe the drool from his chin the first time he met her. Kane gave nothing away as he shook her hand, claiming it was a pleasure to meet her.
Her eyes widened when she zeroed in on his wedding band. “Oh, I…”
Knowing what she must be thinking, I rushed to fill her in. “Kane and I got married in Vegas last weekend.” I held up my band in case she needed further proof.
She laughed, looking stunned. “You’re kidding, right?”
I’d told Courtney I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married, so I couldn’t blame her for being confused. Especially since I’d only mentioned Kane a couple of times in passing, referring to him as Brody’s hot older brother.
“Not kidding,” Kane assured her. He bent to kiss me, framing my face with his hands before he reached for his suitcase. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Sure.” I could tell Courtney was a little breathless just from watching our kiss. She wasn’t the only one. Being on the other side of Kane’s lips was a surreal experience. “Have a safe flight.” I knew it was a stupid comment, since he had no control over it, but I sensed Kane’s safety would be a concern at the forefront of my mind from now on.
Courtney and I watched him step onto the elevator before Boots crawled out of his bed, looking for love.
I knelt to scratch him under the chin while Courtney said, “Sorry I couldn’t keep an eye on this little guy for you last weekend.” She’d had to drive to Knoxville to visit her father, who was in the hospital after a slight stroke.
“No worries. Brendan was able to take care of him for me.”
“Well…?” Courtney said, gesturing to my apartment. “Aren’t you going to invite me in for coffee? You have to know I’m dying to hear how the hell this happened.”
I knew she was referring to my impromptu wedding, but since we hadn’t been friends long, I wasn’t sure I was comfortable sharing my secrets with her. Nevertheless, I invited her inside and I headed to the kitchen.
After making the coffee, I carried a box of pastry Kane had bought into the living room, and we curled up on the couch. I was wearing sweats, no makeup, and my hair was disheveled, while Courtney looked like a fitness model. What a way to start the day.
“Okay, so tell me everything,” she said, curling her hands around her mug. “How the hell did you go to Vegas for your sister’s bachelorette party and come home married to the groom’s brother?”
The more I thought about it, the crazier it sounded. Would anyone believe it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision made by two people who’d never even expressed an interest in getting married before?
“You saw him,” I said, hoping I could hedge her question. “Can you blame me?”
“Hell no, he’s gorgeous. But marriage is a big step. You told
me you couldn’t see yourself marrying Brendan and that was a big part of the reason you broke up with him.”
“True.” I took a sip of coffee, thinking about all of the reasons it had been so easy to say those two little words to Kane. “Kane is… different. Would you think I was crazy if I said I’ve had a crush on him since I was seventeen?”
“Really?” Courtney asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “Tell me everything. Did he know you were crushing on him? Did you ever act on it? Did he feel the same way?”
I laughed at her enthusiasm. She was a romantic still holding out hope she’d meet her own Prince Charming someday. “No, no, and no.” When she frowned, I said, “If I’d told him how I felt about him back then, he would have said I was too young for him, and he would have been right.”
Kane had always been mature, since he’d had to grow up so fast after his mother’s death. While I was thinking about senior proms and acing exams, he was already a cop, worried about working hard and earning promotions.
“But you’re not too young for him anymore?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I guess thirty and thirty-eight isn’t as big a deal as seventeen and twenty-five. So how did it happen? Were you stunned when he asked you to marry him?”
He hadn’t asked so much as suggested it, but for the sake of keeping up appearances, I said, “Uh, yeah, I was shocked, to say the least.”
“I know you guys hung out when you were in Tampa, but you said nothing happened because you were still with Brendan.” She curled her long legs under her, making me wish I wasn’t so vertically challenged. “I didn’t realize you’d kept in touch.”
Leading her to believe my relationship with Kane had been building slowly was the only way to sell this relationship, so I said, “What can I say? We started out as friends, and it evolved into more when Brendan and I broke up.” True, all true, I reminded myself when I felt a twinge of remorse for trying to deceive my friend.
“So is he going to move here or what?”
If only. “We’re still figuring things out.” I was a terrible liar, and since this marriage was the biggest sham I’d ever tried to pull off, I’d have to choose my words carefully. “Kane heads up a SWAT team in Tampa and—”
Kane Page 7
