Slowly, comprehension sank within her. She reached out and took his hand in hers. She said, “The thought of his torment still keeps me awake at night, my brother. I loved him dearly, too. He is never far from my thoughts.”
“Yet…” He frowned, a grave look clouding his face. He withdrew from her. “It is not for me to judge.”
“Yet you do.” She raised her eyes to his. “What is it that you want from me? You want me to suffer because I lived and Luc died…that I failed him. Do you not believe it does not weigh upon me? He asked only that I save our daughter and in that I also failed. I still dream he comes to me and tells me to search for her. I tell him she should be with him, and he shakes his head. Even in my sleep, I can find no peace.
“Do you not understand I died that night also, Marc Pierre? For days and weeks, I could not rise from my bed because of the sadness that encompassed my being. You blame me for Luc’s death, but no more than I blame myself. I had always held dear to the teachings of the church and to the belief that the soul is immortal, but that night…the night Luc took his last breath, my soul perished.”
Marc Pierre gazed at her in silence. She swore she saw water build within his eyes. Her own tears fell unheeded down her cheeks. “The girl you once knew is no more. Hold against me if you will, but yes, I hold to my new husband. It is not what I had planned and I hold no hope that it will last, but God forgive me if I grasped at a semblance of happiness, no matter how fleeting.
“Please, Marc Pierre, help him. He wants to save his children. He is risking his life to rescue them.”
He shook his head and grasped her shoulders once more so tightly that it pained her. “He is risking yours as well for his selfish needs.”
“Non, my brother, do not blame him. This was my choice and mine alone. You said you know me well. Then you know the words I speak are the truth.”
“The Devil take it, Eloise! I can deny you nothing. I will never forgive you if anything happens to you. You are all I have.” His voice faded. He sighed heavily and drew in a deep breath at the confession. He eased his hold on her.
Eloise gave him a tentative smile. “I know that, my brother. Do not feel guilt about me. You know I hold you within my heart. You are my brother whom I love dearly.”
“Nothing I do will convince you to leave?”
“Non,” she said. “It is too late. I am committed to this plan.”
“Then listen carefully,” he said in a hard voice. “You know that Citizen Gairden has pressed me since he came to power about you. He is not a man to miss an opportunity. He knows well your history. He is also not a man to trifle with. He is dangerous, Eloise, but I have arranged a meeting tomorrow night with Gairden. I will introduce Lord Lenister to him. It is all I can and will do.”
Eloise opened her mouth, and then thought better of saying anything more. He had done what he could. He did not like it. Despite his protest to the contrary, a heart still lived within him and that gave Eloise hope. She said no more, but returned to her chamber.
Chapter Nine
Lenister rode through the streets of Paris in a hackney with Eloise by his side. Four years ago, the streets would have been busy and people walking to enjoy a warm early summer eve. Since the rebellion, however, the streets were quiet.
Eloise sat looking out the window. Lenister had watched her take painstaking efforts on her appearance for this evening, knowing she wanted everything to go smoothly. She had upswept her hair in a similar fashion as the first time he had met her, except there were no flowers in her hair. Ringlets framed her oval face, highlighting her lovely expressive eyes. The carriage halted. She looked over at him and gave him a nervous smile.
Her friend, General Marc Pierre Bernard, had arranged this meeting with the greatest reluctance. A sense of urgency swept through Lenister. This was his last appeal for his family. He reached over and squeezed his wife’s hand. He need not tell her that the whole of their success rode upon this meeting.
Lenister had no complaints about their arrangements since they arrived. Bernard had seen to their needs in admirable fashion. The suites he had given them were adequate, clean, and comfortable. The man carried himself as an officer and a gentleman, but Lenister didn’t trust him. Something in Bernard’s manner irritated him to no end.
Though at the moment, Lenister’s main concern lay with his children. His hope of a simple solution dissolved the moment he arrived. Even from the few weeks of his last visit, the city had fallen deeper into the dark. Churches had been desecrated; tombs disturbed. Of one thing he was certain: France seemed to have turned their back on God.
Lenister wasted no time in escorting his wife through the doorway between two buildings and crossed a small courtyard to the house where Citizen Jean-Antione Gairden resided. Lenister raised his hand to ring the bell, but it opened.
An older man, rather short with sparse gray hair, greeted them. He looked at them both with disdain. He gestured for both of them to follow him up the stairs.
Lenister extended his arm for Eloise. She glanced up at him. She was frightened. He could see it in her eyes and feel her hand tremble when she grasped hold of him, but she composed herself well enough to hide it from most. He walked beside her, up the stairs to the second floor where a door lay open. The man extended his hand forward for the two to enter. Then the old man disappeared.
Stepping into the room, Lenister observed it was of moderate size with no distinguishing features, plain and drab, with only a sofa and chairs to sit upon. Lamps were upon otherwise bare tables. The only two other occupants besides Bernard stood against the wall eyeing him with interest, but it was the man sitting in the high back chair that commanded attention.
The man rose from his chair to greet his guests. He smiled at Eloise and took both her hands in his. Lenister saw her recoil slightly, but quickly recomposed herself.
Bernard walked solemnly to their side. “Citizen Gairden, the woman I consider my sister, Eloise, Lady Lenister, and her husband, Lord Lenister.”
“Yes, Lord Lenister. I know the case that has brought you here. A few times, if I am not mistaken,” Citizen Gairden stated, but his eyes never left Eloise.
“I fear it has brought me back once more, Citizen Gairden, to impose on your good grace…”
Citizen Gairden almost entirely ignored him. The man’s focus concentrated upon his wife and Lenister felt an annoyance grow within him that he forced himself to contain. This was a member of the Revolutionary Tribunal. If he had any hope at all of getting his children released, he needed to control his annoyance.
This was the man who, with only a simple mention of his name, inspired terror in the bravest souls. He was a rather tall, mid-age man with graying hair and deep vertical wrinkles on each side of his mouth. His dark eyes illuminated an intelligence that would send a shiver through most with one look.
Lenister swallowed his frustration and watched Gairden pull up a chair for Eloise.
“Ah, Lady…do you not feel it is too formal for the occasion? I mean I feel as though we are old friends. I’ve heard so much about you and with such formalities frowned upon greatly in France, what if…?”
His words hung in the air. Eloise graciously nodded to the man and gave him a brilliant smile. “You are correct. I would prefer Citizeness Ashwin, my husband’s family name. I am French, even my marriage cannot change that fact.”
Lenister’s mouth almost dropped. What game was she playing? Eloise refused to look up at him. Instead, her gaze was upon Gairden, who also took a seat.
“Citizeness Ashwin.” The name rolled off his lips. Gairden smiled again, this time broadly. “I have heard you still hold France in your heart. I can see that is true. A true French woman.”
“Patriot,” Eloise corrected him with the most brilliant of smiles. “My heart will always be French.”
“It is good to be understood. Most women would feel an uneasiness coming into Paris with the events that have occurred.”
“You will find I am
not most women.”
“Non, Citizeness Ashwin, I do not believe there is any in this room to dispute that claim. My only regret is that you are here only for a brief visit. France needs their citizens, never more so than at this moment.”
“I long discovered I do not have control over circumstances. On that score, I’m afraid I am like most women. I can only speak from my heart. I came because I believe in the righteousness of my husband’s cause. We traveled to Paris for one reason only. His children. We are not conspirators nor do we have any political motivation. I would not have come otherwise.
“I do not believe it was secret the reason I had to leave France four years ago. It was the first time my father acknowledged me and he did so with only the greatest hesitation. He did so because my life was endangered, threatened by the Marquis de Mortiere." She turned and looked directly into Giarden's eyes. "When I was a child, I would have done anything to have my father's love. I cannot bear the thought of any harm coming to those innocent children."
"So you have decided to take upon his cause as your own. Does that include the children's mother?"
"We women can be such weak creatures at times. This is a man's world, Citizen Giarden. I do not condemn the woman. I do not know the circumstances that brought her to that point when she accepted Comte de Dubois’ protection. I have learned that at points in one's life, we must do what we must to survive."
"Ah...do you not feel that women are responsible for their own actions, as is a man?"
"I do beg your pardon, Citizen Gairden," Eloise said vehemently. "I do differ from that point of view. We women are told from birth what is expected of us. If we do not obey, we are then subjected to the consequences of those actions. Women have little choice in remedying situations they find themselves. Our options are quite limited."
"You speak from experience, Citizeness Ashwin." He said the words as if it was not a question. All eyes turned on Eloise.
She did not lower her gaze or flush from the shame of the insinuation. She paused and gave the man a look, as if amused herself at his attempted insult. "I do not believe you need to have experienced a circumstance to be sympathetic."
"I must protest..." Lenister erupted, unable to contain his tested composure any longer. Immediately, he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. Glancing back, Bernard shot him a stern look that silenced him.
Gairden rose from his chair. "There is no need to upset yourself, Lord Lenister. I have heard enough." Gairden turned to a man who stood near him. "Citizen Prevot, expect General Bernard and Lord Lenister in the morning.”
Gairden nodded to Eloise. “It has been a pleasure. I hope our paths cross once more.”
“Thank you, Citizen Gairden,” Lenister said, greatly tempered with admirable control. He had no choice. He had been dismissed, having been given the opportunity he had come for—to seek his children’s release.
He extended his arm to his wife, who seemed quite pleased with the exchange. He swallowed his mounting frustration growing within him. For the life of him, he could not dismiss the feeling that there would be a price to pay for Gairden’s generosity.
Eloise sat silently in the hackney. Her husband sat across from her with an odd expression on his face, somewhere between brooding and frowning. She thought he would have been thrilled. He had been given his first fragment of hope, but he was in a thoroughly foul mood.
“Is something amiss?” she asked.
“Devil take it, woman! What…” Lenister said in a displeased voice. Even in the darkness, she felt his glare upon her and the immediate tension in the air with the utterance. He sighed, “It is best we say nothing at the moment.”
She ignored his obvious attempt to divert her attention. She pressed him. “Why? I don’t understand…”
“Understand? I believe it was made quite simple,” he said in a dangerous voice, as if he struggled with a raging temper…at her. “You made me look a fool! No man allows his wife to flaunt her defiance in front of the whole of the world!”
“You have me confused, my lord,” she said. “I thought all went well. Do you not have your opportunity to appeal for your children? Is that not what you wanted?”
“At what price?” he snapped at her furiously. “I had enough worries. Now you have only added to the weight upon me. I want my children back, but I will not sacrifice your honor to obtain them. Nor will I allow it!”
She looked at him, unbelieving of his words. It had taken all the courage within her to sit across from that despicable man. Then slowly comprehension sank within her. Oh, my God, he thought… Suddenly, her cheeks flooded with hot tears. She turned from him.
"You do not understand," she said in a voice no louder than a whisper. "It was for you I did all..."
He would have none of it. His anger burst forth and she took the blunt of the force.
“Bloody hell! The man had no decency. His words should have been directed at me, but he made no attempt to hide his desire for your attention. And you…”
Momentarily stunning her, his voice faded but the implication rushed out straight into her heart. She felt disturbingly sensitive, ready to explode, like a mirror shattering into a million pieces that would never be able to be put back together.
“And you,” he said, finding his voice again. “You have played this game before. Did you not think I would not be able to understand what you were doing? That I would allow you to throw yourself at that….that man! Tell me if I’m mistaken. You have played a man before. Have you played me?”
“Played you?” she asked in an anxious voice, tension vibrating through her body. “It was you that maneuvered me into this marriage. I wanted nothing of it. I offered to help you without the bonds that tie us together. Is that what you think of me, my husband…that you have a hussy and a harlot as a wife?”
“Those are your words, not mine. I want only my wife not to throw herself at another man!”
“Throw myself? Is that what you thought? That loathsome creature?” Anger swelled within her. She lashed out. “How dare you? How dare you? But this is more than tonight. It is a thought that you can’t banish. No matter your words to the contrary, my past life gnaws at you. I warned you. I warned you I was tainted.”
“It is not what I said, my lady. It is you who doesn’t understand the significance of the meeting.”
“I thought it was to save your children. Your children who are being held in a dreadful, hopeless prison.” She paused, cursing those annoying tears that were starting again.
The carriage came to a stop, as well as their conversation. Lenister quickly descended out onto the street. She would have liked to have ignored his hand, but was unable to exit without his help. Instead, she quickly withdrew it when her feet touched solid ground. Picking up the hem of her skirt, she scurried up the steps. Not waiting to ring the bell, she opened the door herself and raced up the stairs.
She had no chance to close the door to her chamber, much less lock it as she desired, before Lenister barged in. He slammed the door closed. Everything in the room shook. He gripped her arm and swung her around to face him. She twisted, trying desperately to free herself. She began beating against his chest.
“Leave me! Go!”
“I cannot do that. I could never do that.”
She ceased her actions. Her face flushed with exasperation. “You make no sense.”
“Then tell me, Eloise. Tell me what is going on here. There is more. I’m not an imbecile. You have kept from me. Tell me.”
The whole of her body stiffened. She shook her head. “It is not important. I told you…”
“You have not told me all.” His tone altered, softened. “Can you not trust me, Eloise? I may not know what you are keeping from me, but Gairden knows. Do you not truly understand my anger? Good lord, woman! The man wants you. Why?”
Her heart surged. Her chest heaved as tears welled in her eyes. He reached over and cupped her face, making her look into his eyes.
“Tell me, Eloise.
Nothing…nothing will change my feelings toward you. But you need to understand, I feel tonight that you are endangered. If I know nothing else, I know that. You may have been playing a game to free my children, but he was playing a different game. One where he intends to have you.”
She stared into his eyes. Fear gripped her. She was afraid…afraid of losing the man who held her. He said his feelings wouldn’t change. Oh, but they would.
“Tell him, Eloise,” a voice said from behind her. She hadn’t heard him enter, but glancing around, she saw Marc Pierre walk across the room. The door closed tightly behind him. “Tell him everything or I will.”
Eloise stood silent, looking from one face to the other. She felt the walls close upon her. There was no escape. She had known that the day would come when her past would have to be addressed…only she wanted a little more time. She clutched her hands uncertainly.
“I can’t,” she said, desperately trying to keep a semblance of composure, which was rapidly fading.
“I need to know, my love,” Lenister said in a soothing voice, coaxing her. His anger had dissipated, replaced with concern. “If I tell you that I suspect that it is perhaps that some of the rumors that have circulated about you hold truth to them...”
She shook her head. Tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks. She whispered, “There is more.”
The moment was tense. Then the quiet was broken. Marc Pierre said, “Much more, Lord Lenister. I will tell you as best I can, but first give me a moment. I want only to make sure that there are no ears listening.”
Eloise waited for what seemed an eternity. She watched her husband coordinate with Marc Pierre to ensure the security in the room. Quickly, Seamus entered and conferred with the two, and then disappeared out the door.
“It should be set,” Marc Pierre said finally. Surprisingly, he walked to Eloise and took her hand in his. It had been so long since he had shown any emotions towards her other than irritation that it alone played upon her self-control. “I told you the last time you were within Paris, not to return. It was for your own good, but I do know what you hoped to accomplish, Eloise. I know your compassion brought you here.”
Broken Legacy (Secret Lives Series) Page 12
