by Stella James
We sit quietly for a minute. That was something that we used to do. Hank would be passed out on the couch after one of his drunken stupors and her and I would sit on the back deck and just listen to the silence. I realize in that moment that although it would take time, I wanted to be a man capable of forgiveness. I wouldn’t have Sophie if it weren’t for forgiveness. So I accepted the piece of paper she handed me before she left with her phone number and address printed neatly across the top.
*
Two days after the funeral, Sophie and I decide to take a drive out to Hank’s place to see exactly what kind of shape the house is in. The driveway itself is overrun with weeds, the overgrown yard has taken over much of the gravel in front of the sagging porch. The door nearly falls off its hinges as I push it open and we enter the musty living room. Empty bottles and cans litter every surface, the entire room smells sour. I crack open the two big windows and let the fresh air take away some of the staleness. The kitchen isn’t any better than the main room and we both figure the upstairs isn’t even worth looking at. It’s going to take a lot of work to make this place look good for potential buyers. I head outside to check out the garage while Sophie checks the kitchen cupboards for garbage bags. Boxes are stacked up against every wall but other than the clutter, it’s not in bad shape. I head back to the kitchen to find Sophie digging through drawers.
“Well the garage isn’t too terrible.”
She spins around and clutches a tattered envelope to her chest.
“Shit, you scared me!” She yelps.
I laugh and walk into the kitchen.
“Sorry babe, I thought you heard me come in. What’s that?”
She holds out the envelope and I can see my name scribbled on the front. I take it from her and rip it open. There’s nothing in it but a thin piece of paper.
Prove me wrong – Hank
I hand the note to Sophie.
“What does that mean?” She asks.
“He used to tell me that I would be just like him someday,” I look around the room. “I guess maybe he had a change of heart.”
Sophie takes my hand in hers.
“I saw him once,” she says quietly.
“What do you mean you saw him?” I ask.
“Don’t be mad. But I came out here the day I had my accident.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was going to, but then with everything else…it just didn’t seem important anymore, and you were so worried about me. I didn’t want to upset you. I’m sorry I kept something like this from you but I had to see for myself that he didn’t want help, Trace. If one more person had asked my mother just one more time if she needed anything, maybe she would still be here. If you ever felt that way about Hank, I wanted to be able to tell you that one more person did try.”
I pull her close to me and wonder for the hundredth time how I got so fucking lucky.
“I love you Sophie, and I understand. But I wish you would have told me,” I say. “How’d it go anyways?”
“Well, he liked my cookies, of course,” she laughs gently. “But he wasn’t too keen on me just showing up out of the blue. The thing is though, I think he was glad to know that you have someone. I think he was so far into his own misery that he never would have told you, but I think it brought him comfort to know that you aren’t alone,” she kisses me softly and tilts her head back.
“Maybe you don’t have to sell the house,” she says with a grin. “You could keep it. We could keep it, make new memories to replace the old ones,” she kisses me again before she opens a bag and starts gathering empty bottles and cans.
“It needs a lot of work,” I say. “It could take a while to make it livable again.”
“I can wait if you can,” she says happily. “Think about it, Trace. You don’t have to decide anything right now and I’ll be happy with you no matter where we live. You’re my home, not the walls surrounding us.”
I leave Sophie to finish with the kitchen and go back out to the garage to sort through some of the boxes. Whether we decide to keep the house or not, it needs to be cleaned out. I start on the ones that line the garage door. I pull one of the dusty boxes off the top and rip it open. Folded neatly on top of a stack of old magazines is my ninja turtle sleeping bag. I pull it from the box and feel an immediate tightness in my chest. There are a lot of shitty memories in this old house, but scattered throughout the ones that I would be happy to forget are the ones that I will always cling to.
I take the sleeping bag and head outside to the back yard. The grass hasn’t been cut in a while and half the yard is covered in weeds. I tug on the rusted old zipper and spread it out on the small patio. I lay down on top of it and close my eyes. My body takes up more than half of it and I’m sure that I look completely ridiculous but I don’t care. I stare up at the blue sky and listen to nothing. I feel her before I even open my eyes. Her warm body curls up against mine and she rests her hand on top of my heart.
“Do you trust me Sophie?”
“Of course I trust you.”
I look down at the woman who loves me, gives me hope and rescued me when I didn’t realize that I needed saving.
“Will you marry me?”
She doesn’t even hesitate.
2 months later…
I stand under the wooden archway, staring out at the same crystal clear lake where I brought Sophie after our very first date. Behind me, a small group of our family and close friends sit in white chairs. After I asked Sophie to marry me, I promised her that we could have whatever kind of wedding she wanted. She chose small and simple. My only stipulation was that I didn’t want to wait. I wanted my ring on Sophie’s finger and hers on mine. I had lived too long without her in my life and I wanted us bound to each other in every way possible. The music begins to play and Cole nudges me.
“You ready man?” He asks.
“Fuck yes, I’m ready.”
We turn to face the crowd just as Kate, Lily and Mona follow each other up the aisle in matching purple dresses. They each hold a bouquet of wild flowers and when they make it to where we are standing, Mona throws her arms around me and speaks quietly so that only I can hear.
“I’m so happy for you, Trace. You deserve this,” she says.
She pulls away and blinks back the tears in her eyes. I look over to where my mother is sitting. She dabs her eyes with a tissue and smiles up at me. We are just beginning to get to know each other and I’m happy to see her sitting there beside Tim and Judy. We can’t get those missing years back but we can start fresh and make new memories, as my future wife would say.
The music changes as Sophie appears at the end of the aisle. My sweet Sophie is wearing a dress made of white lace, her hair hangs down her back in loose waves. She’s carrying a bunch of daisies tied with a yellow ribbon. I keep my eyes on her as she begins to walk towards me. I can see her bare feet peeking out beneath the bottom of her dress with every step she takes. Stan walks beside her and looks as proud as any father ever would as he holds her hand and brings her to me. I shake his hand before he gives Sophie a kiss and tells her that he loves her. Sophie smiles through her tears and places her hand in mine.
“You’re beautiful Sophie.”
“So are you,” she says.
Fuck waiting. I pick her up and kiss the hell out of her while our friends and family cheer. I keep my mouth firmly on hers until the Pastor clears his throat and suggests we get through the ceremony.
We exchange vows and place our simple gold bands on each other’s fingers before I kiss her again, this time I don’t stop until I’m good and ready.
I’ll never remember the exact words we pledged, or what we ate that that day or even what songs we danced to. But I will never forget looking into the eyes of the woman I love more than life itself and believing for the first time in my entire existence, that I am a worthy man. That I deserve the love of the woman who will always hold my heart carefully in her delicate hands.
Epi
logue
Trace
4 years later…
“Breathe Sophie, breathe baby!”
“YOU! Shut up, this is your God damn fault you fucking asshole!” She grinds her teeth and pants through the contractions.
I look down at the very red, very angry face of my wife. Even in labour she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Two years ago our daughter took her time making it into the world. Sophie was in labour for hours and the progress was slow. I’ll never forget what it felt like to see my baby girl for the first time. She was so tiny and I understood in that very moment what unconditional love was. We named her Olivia Jane. It was important to Sophie that we name her after the two women who meant the most to her. Olive has always loved and supported Sophie like a mother would a daughter and Jane was for her gran.
Our son, on the other hand was coming so fast that we hardly made it to the hospital in time before she started pushing. There isn’t time for her to take anything for the pain and I hate seeing her in agony but Sophie is the strongest person I know and if anyone can pull through, she can.
The Doctor comes in and takes his seat at the end of the bed. “Alright Sophie, you’re doing great, wait for the contraction and give me a nice big push.”
Sophie squeezes my hand in a death grip that I will never admit nearly broke my fingers, and pushes with all she has. Fifteen minutes later we welcome our son, Burke. Unlike his sister who has her mother’s copper red hair, his hair is dark like mine. His lungs are strong and he’s perfect. I watch as the Doctor places him on Sophie’s chest. She holds him close and kisses his chubby cheek, tears streaming down her face as she whispers to him that she’s his mama.
Like I said, the most beautiful woman in the world.
Sophie
1 year after that…
I come out of the bathroom to find Trace asleep on the bed with our kids nestled beside him. Olivia has her arms wide open on either side of her tiny body. She’s our little spitfire, even in her sleep. She’s fierce and strong and although she looks like me, she is all her daddy. Our son Burke sleeps on his tummy with his butt straight in the air. From the minute he was born he’s had this thoughtfulness about him. He’s always quiet, just watching everything around him and taking it all in. I laugh quietly at the sight that will never cease to warm my heart.
I often think about the circumstances that led me to Trace, and to Blue Falls. It’s so odd to realize that a series of small events can alter your life in such a way and you’re completely oblivious to it at the time. That night I escaped should have never happened. We found out when Michael finally went to trial and I was called to testify that the cellar door I escaped through should have been boarded up. The only reason it wasn’t was because Michael forgot his hammer in the barn and had to go back for it. I was already at the treeline when he made his way back and began pounding nails into the thick chunk of wood that every night, prevented the cellar doors from being opened from the inside. I sat in that courtroom with Trace beside me, listening as each one of his captives took their turn on the stand. Each one of them had been taken by Michael when they were too young to fight back. As the years went on they were so overworked and nearly starving that life simply became about survival. The thought of living any other way ceased to exist. I held onto Trace’s hand tightly as Michael confessed on the stand that he had seen me at work that evening serving tables and had waited for me. He wouldn’t normally take a person my age but he said there was something about me that needed “saving” and it was his duty to see it done. He is currently serving a very long prison sentence.
After Trace’s dad died it took some time to turn his old house into a home. We hired Cole’s company and had the place completely gutted and renovated. Shortly after we moved in and Trace convinced me that we had to have sex in every room and on every surface, we found out we were pregnant with our little girl. Life is chaotic but I love every part of it. Trace still works for the Sheriff’s office and six months ago we officially bought the café from Stan and Olive. To our children, they are Grandma and Grandpa and although they travel often, Blue Falls is still their home. It took some time after Hank’s funeral but eventually Trace and his mother began mending their relationship. She lives about three hours away with her two golden retrievers but we see her often and she comes down to spend the holidays with us every year. She truly is a kind woman and we are lucky to have her in our lives. The kids adore their nana Maggie and I know that it gives Trace a sense of peace to have his mom again. Sometimes they just sit on the porch and enjoy the quiet of each other’s company.
I tip toe towards the bed just as Trace opens his eyes and gives me a lazy grin. I will never get enough of this man. I open my robe to show him that I’m completely naked underneath before I turn and saunter back the way I came. We love our kids more than anything in the world but they keep us plenty busy, we have to get creative and take our quickies when we can. I drop my robe and turn just as he closes the door behind him and gives me a predatory smile. He pulls his shirt over his head and even after all these years, I want to lick every inch of his chiseled abs. My eyes go immediately to the spot above his heart as they always do. In black ink, my name swirls in feminine writing with our children’s names directly below. I step towards him and tug open the button of his jeans, slide down the zipper and push them down his legs. His hard cock is begging for my attention as I drop to my knees and take him in my mouth.
“Oh fuck Sophie.”
I grin around his length and take him as far as I can. His hands tangle in my hair, pushing my mouth back and forth. I can feel my own wetness seeping between my thighs. He grabs my arms and hoists me up onto the counter, entering me in one hard thrust. I hold on to the edge of the counter until my knuckles are white while he drives into me mercilessly.
“Harder Trace!”
I can feel the wave of my orgasm building until it crashes through me, every one of my limbs feel weak with exhaustion as he picks up his pace and shouts his own release. He slows to a stop and kisses me long and hard.
“Mm, sweet Sophie. That was fucking incredible.”
“Trace?”
“Yeah baby?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Trace
13 more years after that…
“Dad, this is completely unfair, you let Burke and Dex do whatever the hell they want, you’re being sexist!” I stare at my once sweet little girl who is now the spitting image of her mother and a giant pain in my ass. My loving wife will remind me after this shouting match that my darling daughter takes after me. I don’t see it.
“Olivia, you are not riding in a vehicle with that good for nothing shithead and that’s final. And of course I’m sexist, you’re a girl and that kid’s a pervert!” I look to my wife for backup only to find her snickering quietly behind me in the kitchen.
“See? Even mom thinks you’re being ridiculous!”
“Hey, I happen to agree with your father. I will pick you up after the pep rally. Okay?”
Olivia rolls her eyes at Sophie’s suggestion. I swear sixteen year old girls were sent to earth to torture their fathers.
“It’s either me or your dad, pick your poison.”
“Ugh fine, you can pick me up. But this is bullshit.”
She stomps up to her room muttering about needing her driver’s license as soon as possible and the injustice that is her life.
I look at Sophie who is now barely controlling her laughter. Oh hell no. I give her a warning look before she shakes her head and takes off in a sprint to the other room, her laughter echoes off the walls as she runs. I’ll give her a five second head start before I find a much more productive use for that gorgeous mouth of hers.
The End
About the Author
Stella James enjoys reading, yoga and beer/wine. Not necessarily in that order. She writes in her limited spare time for your reading pleasure and also to silence the various characters that have taken up residence in her cute li
ttle head.
If you would like to be informed of upcoming releases or if you just want to be nosy because it’s fun, come and find her on social media.
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The Blue Falls Series
Worth the Chance – Book one/Cole and Lily (available now)
Clipped – A Blue Falls novella/Walker and Mona (coming soon!)
Worth the Fight – Book three/Kate and Asher (coming soon!)
Clipped (A Blue Falls Novella)
Coming Fall 2016
Copyright © 2016 Stella James
All rights reserved
Walker
I slam my laptop shut and run my hands roughly over my face, as if the gesture itself will magically take away my frustration. I’ve been reading the same damn email for the last twenty minutes and I still don’t know what it says. I’m a successful hotel owner, having built my empire from the ground up in my twenties and yet here I am, completely fucked up over one night with a woman. I look around the massive suite that I am currently calling home and I swear I can still smell her. Red.
The most unexpected part of my trip wore a tight black dress and bright red shoes and was easily the hottest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of fucking. I had just finished a meeting with the hotel manager when I spotted her sitting at the bar alone. Her dark hair fell just past her shoulders in a sleek curtain and when I got closer I realized her shoes were the same colour as her full lips. She was petite but generously curved in all the right places. She had boldly coloured flowers and vines swirling down her one arm, the rest of her skin was unmarked. She was a fucking work of art.
