We all pose for a mandatory photo. I stand in between Artem Hlushko and Ivan Bogdanov. Leaders of the three most mentioned former Soviet republics at the moment, with me serving as a sole buffer preventing Ukrainian and Russian presidents from tearing each other into pieces. Dalabistan always served as the crossroads between Europe and Asia, between Russia and China. Next to Bogdanov stands Asari Rei. Denzel Campbell stands on the other end of the row, right next to John Shellford, Bradley McCoy, Olivier Balzac, and Teresa Weis. They seem to arrange the standing positions based on geography, Western European leaders next to the North American ones, Eastern European presidents standing with Asian heads of government. In that case, I really hope they wouldn’t give my country for other forces to conquer it again. We all smile in front of the camera, but Mr. Campbell’s smile appears to be the widest. American business etiquette.
One of the summit’s organizers now tells us, “Thank you, now it’s time to go to the meeting room. Note that this is a private meeting only for the invited leaders. Members of the press, please do not enter.” Then we follow the summit’s organizer. When we take our seats in large white leather chairs in front of a small wooden table with flags, the summit’s organizer closes the doors. From that point, it is just me and my country in front of eleven powerful leaders of the world.
The host of the summit, Diogo Luiz Vidal, starts to speak, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Let me start by warmly welcoming all of you to Brussels. A special welcome for the Prime Minister Cassaro, for whom it is his first G8 summit, as well as for two leaders of two countries experiencing political crises: President Hlushko and President Karabars. You, three heads of governments of your respective countries, are starting a new stage in your political careers with this G8 summit, so please applaud them.” Everyone around the table claps their hands.
Then the EU Commission’s President continues, “Let’s begin with the latest developments in Dalabistan since they are the most recent political issue of the day. On May 20, Mr. Alisher Karabars overthrew the authoritarian regime of the so-called Great Khan Anar Babayev. That revolution drastically shifted the political landscape of Dalabistan, Central Asia, the former Soviet Union, and may potentially influence the countries of the Middle East as well. Therefore, it is important for us to come up with a resolution on the maintenance of peace and security in Dalabistan, quickly.”
The leaders applause after the starting speech. Then Denzel Campbell states, “Currently, the United States acknowledges that the current political crisis in Dalabistan is a significant issue. We may need to intervene to avoid Dalabistan from turning into another permanent hotspot descended into chaos, lawlessness, and tyranny.”
But how will Campbell interfere in the affairs of my country? Send much more military forces to Karajasyl and order them all to overthrow my government to leave Dalabistan in ruins “for the sake of democracy,” just like the United States did in Syria and Libya? Or send financial aid to rebuild the country? I honestly would choose the latter option if I could, but I would rather prefer for my country to develop on its own independent path.
Bogdanov softly exclaims, “This may be another problem for us as if we do not have enough problems for us to deal with! Maybe having NATO forces interfere in Dalabistan is what can cause Dalabistan’s endless cycle of violence? The Russian Federation states that this is a matter of Dalabistani internal politics. Let the Dalabistanis decide what they want and what they need.”
Regardless of how I may think about Ivan Bogdanov, at least he understands the political situation of my country. After all, Dalabistan is one of Russia’s closest allies out of the former Soviet republics. I have to applaud Bogdanov for standing up for my country.
I respond, “Thank you, Mr. Bogdanov, for underscoring this fact. This revolution was driven by the people of Dalabistan, tired of the decades of corruption, human rights abuses, and tribalism. Isn’t that the most vocal manifestation of genuine democracy? And because these people and martyrs drove me to my presidential seat, I have to listen to my people’s wishes for a better life.”
Weis asks, “So what do you suggest to resolve this problem, gentlemen?”
Vidal provides an answer, “In accordance with the EU norms, I would suggest military interference and humanitarian aid from international forces in assistance of Dalabistan, as well as foreign monetary assistance.”
I take a breath and calmly reply while fighting to hide my fury, “Mr. Vidal, we already have friendly relationships with foreign troops in Dalabistan. The United States of America has a large military base in Karajasyl. Soldiers from that military base led by Major Oliver Evans played a key role in supporting my revolution, for which I am very grateful.” Campbell smiles and takes notes. Bogdanov looks warily at me. Balzac and Weis quietly stare at me, waiting for what I would say next.
I stand up and place my hands on the table in a power pose, “To solve the political crisis in my country, I urge you to impose sanctions on the remaining top officials from my country. To arrest and freeze the bank accounts in your countries with embezzled money from the corrupt officials who stole my country’s political future. Sanctions are very important in my struggle for Dalabistan’s liberty because these measures will force and compensate for what they have done to hinder my country’s development. My country’s stolen offshore wealth is in your countries. Please return our people our money now to avoid your countries paying much more for fighting the Dalabistani refugee crisis in your lands.”
After I finish my fiery proposal, silence fills the room for a minute. Ivan Bogdanov and Artem Hlushko look at each other. Denzel Campbell passes a note to John Shellford I could not see despite my strong glasses. To break this awkward pause, the President of the EU Council Kevin Van Belle remarks, “In the end, at least all of us can agree that Alisher Karabars is the legitimate President of the Republic of Dalabistan.” The leaders across the table clap. At least I am installing diplomatic ties right now and having other countries officially recognize me as the legitimate leader of Dalabistan.
Then John Shellford asks me, “But why should we do that?”
Olivier Balzac adds, “The Babayev royal family and their government officials have established a great relationship with us. They provided us with military bases and natural resources, so why should we help you by cutting our strategic relationships with our allies?”
They did not have these second doubts when they invaded and bombed Libya, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, or Yugoslavia. But I need to put them in their place to show that Dalabistan is a proud independent power. Because Dalabistan is not Afghanistan. We were, are, and will be proud freedom fighters from the steppes and the mountains, not servants of the tyrants.
I answer, “It is not a matter of burning bridges, my friends. In terms of foreign policy, whatever friendly relations Babayev had, no matter whether it is with China, Russia, Kazakhstan, the European Union, or the United States, I will continue having them. I do not intend to wage a war against you.”
Shellford impatiently asks while crossing his legs, “What will you do then, President Karabars?”
I ask them a rhetorical question, “You want stability around your factories and bases, eh? You want your investments in my country to flourish, right?”
Balzac agrees, “Yes.”
“So please help me with not financially supporting the Babayev regime and their parasites, as well as with seizing their illegal assets in your countries purchased through illegal means so that I would be able to help you by keeping your people, soldiers, and capital in my country safe.”
There is another pause in the room. Shellford passes a note to Campbell. Weis whispers something in German to Cassaro. Asari Rei jots down his thoughts in Japanese characters. Balzac breaks the pause and looks at me, “Thank you for raising this important issue of money laundering. I will order my government to start investigating the origin of these assets and return any holdings we find that fall within that realm.”
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I respond, “Thank you very much, President Balzac, for being willing to defend the rule of law abroad.”
Diogo Luiz Vidal continues the conversation, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have come to a consensus regarding the post-Babayev political landscape of Dalabistan, recognizing the transition of power and Alisher Karabars as the only legitimate president, and allocating billions of euros for investing in Dalabistan. However, as the President of the European Union’s Commission, I am deeply concerned about current developments regarding human rights in your country. While Mr. Karabars claims that he is fighting terrorism and corruption with fierce methods, the use of capital punishment in these and any other cases is against the fundamental principles of the European Union, regardless of the crimes committed. The European Union thus condemns the mass public executions that were conducted in your country over the last few weeks.”
I laugh and look into his serious eyes, “Mr. Vidal, you know the people of my country demanded it, just like the people did in many of your Union’s countries when they overthrew the oppressive regimes.”
Vidal inquires, “Which countries?”
“Romania, Croatia, France, Italy, and countless others. Today is there no capital punishment in America? In Russia? In China? In Japan? In countries around the world? Only in the European Union countries is there no capital punishment.”
Vidal mockingly asks, “So what?”
I stand up and shout at Vidal, “Are we going to diverge from the just and the right thing from a moral perspective just because it does not exist in Europe? Before implementing development programs that would actually work, we ought to get rid of our parasites, corrupt officials, and murderers of the innocents from our government apparatus.”
Artem Hlushko asks me, “But why not give them due trial, humane jail conditions, and simple civil lustrations as it is happening right now in Ukraine?”
Ivan Bogdanov, on the other side of the table, cannot hide his laughter.
Asari Rei, nevertheless, shows support for me, “Based on my intelligence reports on Dalabistan, the crimes of these individuals were extremely vicious and cruel, which involved the risk of involving ordinary people. Take a look at some of them: state-sponsored mass murderers invading the civilians’ houses at night, looting and slaughtering anything these death squads could find; countless terrorist attacks against civilians; frequent orders of brutal suppression of dissent by force and illegitimate executions; the state backing up tribal discrimination on a constitutional level similar to the methods of the Nazi Germany; and extrajudicial rape of protesting women just to name a few. None of these criminals bothered about their victims’ human rights, didn’t they? Many people in my country say we want the death penalty for these very reasons. In Dalabistan’s case, though, the people there should not want the death penalty because they should be obligated to serve justice with the strictest punishments. Mr. Karabars, I absolutely respect your iron commitment to eradicating crime and terrorism in your country, and I, on behalf of the Japanese people, want to express my willingness to cooperate with such a fair leader. For Dalabistan, capital punishment is a strictly domestic issue, so please let Mr. Karabars and his people deal with this on their own!”
I stand up and shake his hand out of respect, “Thank you very much, Mr. Rei for clearly sharing my stance on this issue. I would like to let all of you know that we are open for cooperation for anyone, but anyone who threatens our security may face significant consequences.”
Finally, a politician I can work with!
Then Denzel Campbell concludes the discussion, “Ladies and gentlemen, as the President of the United States, I acknowledge that the Republic of Dalabistan has a right to determine its own regulations. We must recognize the sovereignty of Dalabistan and respect the citizens’ desire for the rule of law in a new and democratic country after struggling with a long and painful reign of an autocrat.”
Bogdanov, Rei, and I applause at Campbell’s conclusions. However, Mr. Vidal looks at me with scorn. “Thank you very much for your discussion and addressing us today, Mr. Karabars. You are free to return back to your country since the next part of the summit is reserved for private negotiations between the leaders of the G8 and Ukraine.”
I get up and wave at them, “Thank you for your cooperation today, ladies and gentlemen!” As I leave the meeting room, I rush for a fresh breath outside. The black van arrives with all of the ministers in it. They open the door, and I enter the van. Abzal asks, “Welcome back, Alisher. How did the meeting go?”
“All of the G8 leaders recognized me as the legitimate leader of Dalabistan. Campbell, Weis, Bogdanov, Shellford—all of them.”
Abzal laughs, “No way! Glory to Dalabistan!”
Alexandr responds, “Glory to the Heroes and the Martyrs!”
I have to add another detail, “They also agreed to help me with seizing the foreign property of our corrupt government officials, so we actually have raised more funds for developing Dalabistan.”
Almat seems to be happy with the outcome, “Super! Now we just have to tell our people about the achievements to make them happy and get back to work!”
We drive to the airport with a sense of accomplishment, starting our journey to fly back to Volkan.
Chapter 28: The Iron Fist
After arriving in the Presidential Headquarters, I retreat to the Den Room for a cup of tea, a plate of cookies, and a nap. Finally, a break! I stare at the window, looking at the nightline of the capital. In the end, I brought calmness for my compatriots and my clear plan is starting to clearly unfold, thanks to the help from my allies in Brussels and abroad!
Amidst the peace and stillness, my phone rings. Again, my rest is disturbed, but by who and what this time? I take my phone and see that it’s Sabit. I accept the call, “Hi Sabit, it’s Alisher on the line. Go ahead.”
“We have some urgent news! There is a big tribal conflict in Askertau city of the Left Wing, between Askergoz tribesmen and local members of the Three Elite Tribes.”
Fury begins to eat at my body. I clench my fist before shouting into the phone, “Where are you right now, Sabit?”
Sabit reports, “I am currently in the Rebuilding Council emergency meeting that I have just summoned. We are waiting for you in order to begin.”
I abandon my tea and cookies, put on my suit jacket, and rush from the Den Room. I bark into the phone, “I’m running! Will be there in five minutes!”
Another emergency to deal with. Either these Elite Tribal jackals will defeat me, or I will defeat them! I guess now I am really joining the real club of strong world leaders, not during this G8 summit, but after starting to face so many domestic threats. The opponents do not want to witness me in power, so they know no better means than slaughtering their neighbors next door! If I weren’t the President and just a lowly broke hobo on the streets of Alakala, I could have been lynched and martyred these days!
I kick the large wooden doors open and sprint to my Presidential seat in the Rebuilding Council. I ask my ministers while they have confusion in their eyes, “So what has actually happened in Askertau?”
Sabit stands up and presents me his report, “In your absence, there was a large conflict between tribes in Askergoz. Several members of all of the Three Elite Tribes refused to recognize the new civil rights of the Commoners Tribes, especially the Askergoz tribe. These Elite tribesmen called for the purification of the Dalabistani society from ‘threat of Alisher Karabars and the fifth column coming from the decaying West.’”
I take some time to accept the information. I start to wonder what is going on in their heads, “Oh, God… what a nightmare…”
Sabit continues, “And this is not the end of the nonsense they called for. Some stated that your Revolution and civil rights reforms are the start of the most despotic regime from the lethal American funds. They also called for tribal superiority now, tribal superiority tomorrow, and tribal superiority forever.”
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bsp; Abzal catches up, “My Ministry of Defense also just informed me that these men in white robes wear red masks and conical hats to conceal their identities and that they have committed many notorious acts of terrorism. They include the bombing of the home of a civil rights activist from the Askergoz tribe, gang rape of a daughter of a local trade union leader, shooting of a hospital in Askertau, and burning setting fires to several civilians’ houses.”
I slam my fist on the table! “We need to show these terrorists their place! Send the Hovlyk Asker and the Armed Forces there immediately to neutralize all of these Elite Tribal terrorists! Capture every single one of these bastards! If you are faced with armed resistance, I order you to obliterate them all!”
Dmitriy looks puzzled at me. He believes in human rights and dignity for everyone, unlike me. He questions my idea, “Why do you want to use the force? You already made half of the Western leaders look at us with scorn after that operation in Kuldar! Deploying forces to Askergoz may cause foreign powers to completely undermine our actions and launch sanctions against us.”
Dmitriy does not seem to understand some things, perhaps because he is a liberal. Doesn’t he understand that we need to neutralize this threat before it grows large enough to kill us? My blood boils. “Did Israeli Prime Minister Nimrod Goldberg commit similar ‘atrocities’ in Palestine and manage to pull that off without the West giving an absolute fuck about human rights and other shit like that?”
Dmitry slowly murmurs, “No… No… It was dismissed as a… necessary operation for security and defense… of the State of Israel… against… Islamic terrorism from the Hamas combatants.”
I continue my rant, “Then we can do it as well, for exactly the same fucking reason! I am also doing it for myself!”
“How so?” Dmitriy asks.
I respond, “When Elite tribesmen have beaten their fists off at me, nobody stood up for me. When I was tied up to a tree to serve as an ashtray for the smoking middle schoolers from the Elite Tribes, I was the one who was forced to apologize, only to watch people around me ostracize me for daring to report. And even after almost facing certain group murder at the hands of bullies from the Three Elite Tribes during my last months of high school, I should tolerate such treatment?”
The Outcast Presidents Page 21
