by Rin Grey
Finally, Elizabeth spoke, “I’m sorry about this, Gemma. It’s not the best of situations, and I would get a hotel room except that I know you don’t want me to leave.”
Gemma shook her head quickly. “No, I don’t want you to go. I know…” her voice wavered, “I know Amily is gone now, and won’t be a problem, and that Mitch is… seems to be in control of his magic, but… I feel better having you here.”
Elizabeth hesitated. “Are you sure?” She glanced over at Digger, who looked as uncomfortable as she felt.
With Amily out of the picture, there was no reason for her to remain here, really. Mitch was perfectly capable of controlling his magic. The one doubt she’d had, when the washing line had caught on fire, had been proven to not be him.
She and Digger would be a lot more comfortable at an inn.
“I’m sure,” Gemma said firmly. “I’d far rather have you and Digger stay here. I won’t deny that it’s strange, but then again, what isn’t strange lately?”
She did have a point. Elizabeth glanced over at Digger, trying to gauge how he felt about it.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I can easily find somewhere else to stay until Mitch’s training is complete. It’s probably for the best.”
As soon as he said it, Elizabeth felt bad. He wasn’t talking about staying somewhere else with her. He meant without her.
Somehow, she suspected that if he did, he wouldn’t stay.
“No,” she said immediately, Gemma echoing her just as quickly.
Digger blushed a little, and smiled. “Guess that option is out then.”
He seemed pleased. That should have made her nervous. But for some reason, it didn’t. Maybe this settling down was catching. She needed to watch that.
Either way, Elizabeth breathed a silent sigh of relief. At least she didn’t have to deal with Digger leaving right now too.
“I will have to start looking into finding an apartment though, Gemma, for once Mitch’s training is complete. I can’t stay here forever,” she pointed out.
Gemma nodded reluctantly. “I suppose so,” she agreed, “but don’t hurry.”
Elizabeth nodded, and stood up. “Well, if that’s sorted, I think it’s time for bed.”
Gemma nodded quickly, and looked away. “I’ll see you both in the morning.”
Digger followed Elizabeth up to her room, and when they were finally alone Elizabeth was tempted just to go to sleep. She undressed quietly, and slid into the bed, but it was Digger’s respect of her silence that was her undoing. If she was going to let this relationship happen, it had to be honest.
That was about all she had to offer him.
She rolled over in the bed to face him, and said softly, “Digger?”
“Mhmm?” he said sleepily, and pulled her close.
She struggled to think of an opening line, but when none came to her, she said, “We need to talk.” Quickly, before she chickened out.
Suddenly Digger was alert and she suspected he hadn’t been so sleepy after all. “What is it, Liz?”
Elizabeth was silent, trying to find the words to explain the thoughts that were going around in his mind without upsetting him. “Digger, I… well, things have changed. I think that much is obvious. You coming here, seeing all this, it’s bound to change things between us.”
“It doesn’t have to, Liz, if you don’t want it to,” Digger said softly, and Elizabeth was tempted to create a light just so that she could see the expression on his face.
“No, it does change things. Or maybe it’s me that’s changed, I don’t know. Either way, you’ve followed me here, giving up your life to be here where I am. We can’t just pretend this is… is a convenience, like we always have.”
Oh it would be so much easier if she could.
Digger was silent, she hoped because he could see the point she was making.
She continued before she lost her nerve. “I care about you, Digger, you know that. We’ve been together too long for me to pretend that you don’t matter to me.” Her voice choked a little at that, and she had to pause to stop it breaking.
She did care about him. She wanted him to stay. She was just so afraid that she’d stuff things up yet again.
In fact, she was pretty sure she would.
It had been twenty years since she'd last seen Sean. Was she ever going to get over him? Digger was a good man. She should be happy to settle down with him, thrilled that he’d followed her here and seemed to truly care for her.
So why did she feel so trapped by his actions?
“Liz, you don’t have to explain anything,” Digger said softly.
“I do,” Elizabeth interrupted, relieved her voice was strong and firm. “Digger, you have to know… I can’t offer you a normal relationship. I’ve screwed them up too many times and I’m not going there again. I’ll never marry, or have another child. If you want those things, you’re best off leaving now.”
She stopped there, waiting for a response, getting nervous when Digger was silent for a long while. It was in that moment of silence that it hit her like a blow.
She didn’t want him to leave.
Briefly she wondered if the realisation signalled stronger feelings than she was aware of, or if she was just afraid of being alone again. It had been so long since she had been truly alone, and those dark days brought memories she didn’t want to examine.
It would be nice not to be on her own. Even nicer if she thought she might actually be able to let herself truly care for him. She wanted to, but she wasn’t convinced she could.
Thankfully Digger’s reply saved her from those thoughts. “You’ve always made it quite clear that you didn’t want that, Liz. And I never said I wanted it. I don’t know why you think things have changed.”
Elizabeth shrugged uncomfortably. “Because you followed me here? It honestly didn’t occur to me that you would. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, I just… just…”
“Just don’t want the commitment you think that entails?” Digger interrupted. “It’s all right, Liz. As I said, there was nothing for me in Niacin. And I missed you. It would have taken a hell of a lot of effort to find another woman who I got on well enough with to ask to move in, much less one that can save my life every time I get into a tight spot. And I don’t fancy the thought of being alone any more than I think you do. Can we just agree to keep each other company for now, and see where the future takes us?”
Elizabeth struggled with that thought for a moment. No matter how much he said he didn’t expect more, she didn’t quite believe it. No matter how casual he tried to make it, they were standing at a crossroads and staying with him meant, to her at least, she was making a commitment. Sure, it was a loose, unspecified commitment, but the thought made her nervous none the less.
Moving in together had, well, just happened. They’d already been sleeping together before they had arrived back in Niacin together, and she’d readily offered to let him stay until he found his feet. He’d just never moved out.
They’d passed five years like that. Elizabeth wasn’t even sure where the time had gone. But pass it had. And yet, somehow things hadn't changed at all.
What was happening now, that seemed far more serious, no matter how much Digger tried to make light of it. Before, if she’d left, yeah, it probably would have hurt, but it wouldn’t have surprised him.
She suspected it would now, and the thought made her wince.
Why was she so convinced she was going to do the same thing again now?
She had complete control of her magic, that was no longer even a consideration.
Sean was out of the picture. He'd made it well and truly clear he wanted nothing more to do with her. And without him, there was nothing keeping her in the Dome. Oh, sure, she'd always have ties to them, and she'd probably come and go, but she couldn’t see herself going back there to live again.
Gemma seemed to have forgiven her. And Mitch was a good kid. Even once he had control of his magic, he was going to need s
omeone to teach him.
Besides, who knew what this role as heir was going to mean. Maybe, just maybe, it would be as interesting as her earlier time in the Dome had been, before Jon.
Maybe she could find a meaningful life here.
Then there was Digger.
It was obvious he cared about her. They had a history together. A good history.
She was fond of him.
Sure, she didn't love him. Not like that. But they were good together, in more ways than one. There was no denying that. What were the chances she'd find anyone else that she got on with as well as she did with him?
To be honest, she wasn't even that interested in looking.
“Liz?” Digger’s uncertain question pulled her out of her thoughts and she realised he was waiting for an answer.
Her resolve wavered. It would be so easy to accept his assurances and just say yes, forget about the consequences until later. She wouldn’t lose him then and it was what he wanted, so really, it wasn’t so bad? What did she expect was going to happen anyway? It wasn’t like she had any big plans for the future that would exclude him…
Sure, Jocelyn and Evelyn seemed to have an issue with it, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her.
In reality, there was nothing else. Nothing real anyway.
“Sure,” she agreed finally. The words spoken, the decision made, she breathed out in relief. “Company would be nice.”
She snuggled up to him, trying to push away the lingering doubts. His warm, presence helped, as did the hand running gently across her back and through her hair. He kissed her, gentle and undemanding, and she let the warmth of his presence sooth her emotions, until she started to feel content and sleepy.
Digger felt Elizabeth relax in his arms and tried not to let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, he hadn’t seen any way clear in that conversation. He’d thought she was going to walk away no matter what he said.
He wasn’t quite sure what had made her give in, he was just glad she had because he had no idea what he would’ve done, or where he would have gone, if she had asked him to leave. In the last few years, she had become as much a part of life as his morning coffee was.
Did that mean he loved her? He wasn’t quite game to examine that thought, so instead he followed a topic she had raised earlier.
Marriage. Children. Neither of which had even remotely occurred to him until she’d mentioned them. They were topics he didn’t normally associate with his life.
When he thought of a family, he thought of a little house with a white picket fence, a wife who sat at home and cooked and cleaned, while he went to work… probably in some mine or something?
Fine, his imagination wasn’t that vivid, all he could picture was his own family, just substituting him and Elizabeth for his parents.
Except that picture just wouldn’t gel, no matter how hard he tried to make it. He saw exactly what Elizabeth meant, she could never fit into that life.
So where did that leave them? Was there any way they could make those things fit in with their unconventional life? He tried to picture himself staying home with a baby, while Elizabeth went out being a mercenary, but that was unsatisfactory too. And there certainly wasn’t any way they could take a baby with them.
But then, Elizabeth was her family’s heir now, surely that meant she wasn’t going to be a mercenary any longer? What would that mean for their possible future?
Her family had made it clear they were against her marrying, and against his presence at all, though perhaps he had won the old lady’s favour during that fight. He was pretty sure Elizabeth wouldn’t let that stop her doing what she wanted, but perhaps it would have some influence on her decisions.
Why was he even going over this? Did he even want a child? It hadn’t occurred to him until Elizabeth had mentioned it, so it certainly wasn’t something that he had his mind set on. If Elizabeth had wanted one, he wouldn’t have been averse to the idea, but since she so obviously didn’t…
He sighed heavily, and his arms tightened around Elizabeth. She mumbled something incoherent and snuggled closer to him.
He had to admit, the thought of having a child with Elizabeth held some appeal. Quite a lot actually. But since there was no way he could ever share that with her if he left, the point was moot. She was the one he wanted, and if he had to give up some things he had never even realised he wanted to keep her, then so be it.
He was just going to have to take each day as it came, and try not to expect too much from her. If he did, he knew, he would lose her. Right now though, he was right where he wanted.
He snuggled up to her and eventually slept, haunted by dreams of a little blonde-haired baby girl.
Chapter 15 - Decisions
Sean stared at the report Janice had handed him, staring through the footnote written in her familiar, neat script. The report on two Seekers bringing a new mage to Linarra should have been minor, requiring him to do no more than scan it and file it with all the others.
No, that wasn’t quite true. The fact that the woman had been deliberately using her magic against others in Selenthia would have required him to pay a little more attention. Maybe even to meet the woman himself.
The fact that she was a Salinga would certainly have led to that.
And there was no ignoring Elizabeth’s name in the report, even though it was only mentioned once.
Janice’s comment, “The description of the man guarding the unconscious woman matches that of Elizabeth’s partner from Niacin,” was meant only for him.
Sean read it once more, and then erased it with a thought.
He didn’t want to believe it. But if Janice thought it important enough to mention, then it was probably spot on. Janice was very thorough.
Still, he had to be sure, had to be certain.
Quickly he stood and pulled the bowl down from the shelf, pouring his jug of drinking water into it. It wasn’t much, but it would have to be enough.
He drew on the deepest recess of his magic, the one that always remained below his conscious awareness, and sent the tiny sliver of power into the water.
A faint image hovered on the surface.
Elizabeth and her partner, lying face to face in bed talking, their words inaudible.
Sean swore and slammed his fists onto his desk. The water in the bowl shimmered, but the image remained unchanged.
What they were saying was irrelevant, their position was confirmation enough. The man had followed her to Asherad, and she’d welcomed him with open arms.
He threw the water in the bowl across the room, almost throwing the bowl after it, but prudence stayed his hand. Wearily he placed it back on his desk.
So much for Hugo’s plan that the move would distance Elizabeth from her ties in Naicin. True, she had divorced her husband, but the fact that the boyfriend had followed her indicated that the move had only intensified the problem.
What were they talking about? Had Elizabeth’s disappearance and the man’s following her to Asherad forced an escalation in what had otherwise appeared to be a casual, if long standing, relationship?
He knew how her family felt about serious relationships. His hand touched the tattoo on his wrist unconsciously. He knew far too well.
But that was irrelevant to Elizabeth. It was only those in the primary line they had an issue with, and Elizabeth was far from that.
He couldn’t count on their objections removing the obstacle for him.
He heaved a sigh. Would the man’s presence negatively affect Elizabeth’s response to him?
Always assuming it would be positive in the first place. Goodness knew, he’d given her enough reason to hate him on his own.
He stared off into space. This new development changed things. He couldn’t afford to sit around and trust in the prophecy.
There was a possibility it could fail.
There always had been of course, but somehow this made him feel more concerned.
And made his heart ache. He hadn�
��t been sure if he wanted to do this, but now that someone else was in the picture, jealousy consumed him.
She was his. He couldn’t bear to watch her with someone else. They didn’t deserve her.
He had to make his move now.
He acted on that thought as soon as he had it, standing and teleporting directly to Hugo’s palace. He didn’t go to the public teleporting room that anyone could use, but to the private one, located within the king’s personal rooms. Knowing that Hugo would be instantly alerted to his presence as he passed through the palace force field, he went directly to the king’s study.
Hugo joined him there minutes later. “You’ve heard the news then?” was the first thing he said.
The fact that the king kept as close an eye on Elizabeth as he did surprised him. He wasn’t sure why. Both of them stood to lose just as much if the prophecy failed.
He filed that piece of information away for future reference and simply nodded. “So much for your idea that this would split them up. I suspect it has only intensified their relationship.”
Hugo nodded. “Sorry about that. I didn’t count on his feelings for her. A gross error in judgement on my part.”
Sean growled, “We cannot afford errors in judgement at this point.” But the heat of anger left him almost immediately and he made an apologetic movement of his hand. “There is no way you could have known. I thought it would work too, and it had seemed to be going exactly to plan, with her divorce and all.”
“So what do we do now?” the king asked.
“I go to Asherad. You’ll have to tell Einara she’s off the job.”
Hugo sighed. “She is not going to be impressed. She was quite looking forward to a chance to meet the Salingas.”
Sean shrugged. “She’ll have to live. Greater things are at stake than her whim.”
The king nodded, accepting. “When do you want to go?”
Sean considered that for a moment, then sighed. “I can’t possibly go this week, I can’t miss Yastrik’s daughter’s coming of age ball without a good explanation. Late next week?”
