by Pamela Ann
Huh. I somehow doubted that.
Sette
My mother’s visit merely shook the teetering edge I was trying to hold on to. I wasn’t feeling any better a few hours later, so I had to succumb to taking my medication once more. The aches and pains I could deal with, but the blinding headache that was pounding my skull needed addressing since it was getting worse. Each sound my ears picked up felt a hundred times louder.
Felicia Constantia di Medici had the audacity to demand such idiotic things from me just because she was the person who gave birth to me. Her main objective was to save us and for the family name not to be tainted by bad press. Regardless, I wasn’t a child she could simply boss around and have cater to her whims and wishes. I had lived with my fair share of wanting to please my mother, but I had later realized that she was never going to be satisfied. She would forever demand whatever she needed to suit her purpose. There was no winning with her; I had long ago admitted that fact.
With an intrusive mother, my father actually was the polar opposite. Gianni di Medici was a reasonably fair man. He didn’t necessarily intrude into my personal business unless it was critical. We had a good relationship, but it was one that wouldn’t be considered close.
Not one single person I knew at the moment seemed to have any qualms about me being in bad shape. Even my best friends, Jacques and Andrès, had advised that I should seek help. I felt betrayed by everyone. I had no one—not a damn soul—who would simply be there without having to judge my actions. It was a saddening thought. It wasn’t so long ago where the three of us were thick as thieves. But I suppose, as we got older, things were truly shifting to place where we were gradually drifting apart.
Based on the negative spotlight on me as of late, I was actually wondering why FIA hadn’t called yet for my suspension. I had been fielding calls left and right from friends and acquaintances to media outlets, vying to get a word out of me. There were heavy speculations about my drinking and that there was a “reliable source” from the hospital that confirmed I had alcohol in my system during the time of the crash.
Sighing, I checked the time to see how long it had been since I had taken the pills. It had been five minutes of waiting for the medicine to relieve the pain. I was getting frustrated when it didn’t do anything, so I decided to sleep it off.
“The sun’s going to be out soon,” she happily observed as she looked up, admiring the beautiful, contrasting colors of the first signs of the dawn breaking into morning. She released a whimsical sigh before pressing her breasts against my chest.
We were on the hill in my family’s orchard where we had spent the night on a blanket underneath the lemon tree, surrounded by the invigorating, romantic scents of lavender and roses.
I knew it had only been a few days, and this was the first time we’d had sex, but I had never felt this peaceful state. It was refreshing, exciting to be with a woman who didn’t irritate me. Not only that, but her cute, quirky attitude and filthy mouth made her even more endearing. And after dealing with my mother’s pestering about taking on a wife from her meticulously selected roster, I knew I had to get her away…away from the chaos that was my life. There was no better place to take her on a short trip but here…to the place where I would gather my thoughts—my sanctuary—a place where I never brought any woman before until this very instance.
Faintly brushing her soft strands with my fingertips, I took in the simplicity of our setting and how right it felt to be cuddling with a woman, something I rarely did. I couldn’t even recall when the last time had been, if ever.
There was just something about her that simply enthralled me and kept me from being able to take my eyes off her, which was unnerving to say the least. The women I typically dated were vain, haughty, snobby women, so being with Kimberly was a nice surprise. It was a true novelty to be able to enjoy a woman’s company without having my credit cards being beaten to death by endless shopping sprees. That type of lifestyle, of course, was what I had grown up with, so seeing how much women spent on clothes and other frivolous purchases was my normal.
This, though? How could I fully describe it without sounding ludicrous? This thing with her was singularly beautiful in the most unconventional way. I felt as if something had lit and revived the dying embers of my soul, torching my entire previous existence before I was reborn.
She came into my life and completely changed me forever.
It was profound, yet I was still wary about the rest of the details: the commitment, the expectations, and all that entailed being in an exclusive relationship. I was weighing things out.
“Apart from having a beautiful family orchard, what else can you tell me about you? What do you like to do?” she broke into my thoughts, eyeing me expectantly. “You don’t look like a man fresh out of college, so I’m wondering what you do for a living, if you don’t mind me asking.”
What I did for a living? A part of me ought to have found it laughable. She was so innocent and naïve, and I, the blasted man I was, wanted to enjoy the rarity longer before I told her the truth. For now, I could happily play along to satisfy her curiosity.
“I’m a driver of sorts, amongst other things.”
“Oh, like a transporter? I hope you’re not a drug dealer or any of that bad stuff.”
I frowned from her odd guess. “What makes you think that?”
“It was just a random thought, you know, since I love watching movies and all that. It’s quite a common trend these days.”
“Well, I’m not doing anything illegal, so that should put your worries away.”
I hesitated a moment, contemplating if I should tell her who I was. However, just as I was weighing it out, she shifted about enough to fully expose her supple breasts. From that moment on, I concluded that I was done talking and in dire need of action.
“That’s enough talking. I need you again, cara mia.”
“Again?” She feigned shock, making me grin like an idiot. “You’re an insatiable man, Luca.”
Oh, she had no idea what she had gotten herself into. “You’re in for some wet and wild fun, guaranteed.”
“You’re so arrogant sometimes. I’m surprised I find it so fucking hot and sexy. It turns me on so bad.”
“I want to kiss you all over,” I seductively whispered as I watched her with hooded eyes.
She blushed from head to foot, seductively biting her lip, looking like a true temptress and pure innocence at the same time.
“You take my breath away,” I murmured, feeling as though I had won the lottery. To me, she was truly unique and beautiful in every sense of the word.
Leaning over the beautiful, smooth planes of her body, my eyes devoured her, hungry for another round of amazing fucking. Pushing her thighs apart, I heard her gasp as I gradually moved south, situating myself between her legs, breathing in nirvana, the beautiful smell of sweet cunt, wet and succulent against my mouth, my lips. Using my bottom lip, I brushed it alongside her smooth labia, endlessly teasing it until I felt her pussy getting wetter and wetter at the sweet torture.
I moved up her body, resting myself over her. My cock rubbed against her wet, velvety pussy, surging pleasures through me that reminded me of electrical currents running all over, rousing my sensitized body with invigorating aftershocks.
“Luca,” she moaned as I felt her nails dig into my skin.
I hissed from the tiny spurt of pain and pleasure it provided my body. I gently guided my dick to her tight entrance before I slowly eased my way in, motioning my hips in small, steady thrusts until I felt her slippery essence coat my cock, inviting me in, craving for more.
Loving the brilliant feel of her, I bottomed out my cock inside of her. My lips were rounded about her breast, honing in on her rosy nipple, before I took a feral bite, making her gasp and clench her vaginal walls, tightening around my already constricted shaft. A man could only last so long before he was ready to go ballistic, desperate for release.
Feverishly wild, I used my teet
h on her breast while my other hand lifted her hips as I drove into her cunt like it was my only way out in life, as if it was my heaven, my salvation, and my redemption all in one.
It felt sacred, feral, and timeless. Most of all, it truly felt sublime.
Waking up from that vivid dream was not only unsettling, it also felt as if I had been transported back in time, profoundly feeling that unique kind of elation, connecting to another person like I had never had before, except when I was behind the wheel. That could be the very reason behind the obsession.
There was only one person in this world who would put a stop to the nonsensical madness that was wreaking havoc with my livelihood. Even though it was one in the morning, I knew I had to see her.
Fuel surged into my blood, electrifying me with adrenaline as I jumped into the shower then changed into my worn out, black, distressed jeans and a black V-neck shirt.
Sliding inside my Maserati GranTurismo, I hastily started the engine, stepped on the gas pedal, and then gunned the super sports car out of my driveway. Remembering ever detail in the file that Gino handed me, I didn’t hesitate driving towards her new home in Via Margutta.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do once I got to her place. All I knew was that I needed more answers, because what she had supplied wasn’t enough, far from it, actually. Besides, I was dying just to be near her, to feel her presence. At this pivotal point, I would seriously be happy to take whatever crumbs she was willing to give me.
Lost in my own world of dreams, it barely registered that I had actually arrived at my destination until I practically flew past the house. I briskly glanced at the house number before the sinking feeling began in my stomach once more. It seemed it was a common occurrence whenever she was part of the equation.
“Cazzo Madre di Dio, get a fucking hold of yourself!” I muttered under my breath as I gripped the wheel, watching as my knuckles turned white.
There was a high chance her husband was going to answer the door. What was my plan once that happened? I would most likely knock him out so I could speak to his wife uninterrupted. If I did that, it would undoubtedly upset Kim, which was the last thing I wanted. Given her condition, I should act a little delicately around her and not like some brooding bastard who was too wounded to see the bigger picture.
What exactly was the bigger picture, though?
I was soon to find that out.
Sliding out of the car, I ground my teeth together as I strode up the small, uphill driveway. Once I reached the door, I sporadically buzzed the doorbell while my knuckle rapped at the door. I was prepared to see Anton Gallo, but I was surprised that it was actually Kimberly who opened it.
“Shit, Luca, can you quit that before you wake up Anton!” Obviously stunned to see me, her face was contorted into a cute frown as she noted my overall appearance, scars and all. Her eyes were glued to the small, bandaged side of my hairline.
“How’d you know it was me? You can’t just open the door without asking who it is first.” She was too trusting. Even though Rome and this affluent side of town wasn’t known for crime, it didn’t mean a thing. Obviously corruption was everywhere, and no city was an exception.
She opened her mouth to say something then paused for a second, hesitating, before she spoke again. “It was the sound of your car. I still remember it.”
Dio mio. She still managed to leave me breathless.
Her demeanor wasn’t welcoming, though it wasn’t hostile, either. Should I take that as a good sign? Assuming this might be premature.
I took a chance and tried to match her yielding gaze, but I was too nervous to do so. Instead, I tried to look anywhere but at her, which would be a mistake, because she was donning a black, silk robe that had a good view of her cleavage. While I tried to avoid her gaze, I was left staring boldly at her neck, which helped little with my tensed state.
“Where’s your husband?” I casually asked, shifting from foot to foot, all the while wondering if she was going to invite me inside. It was highly unlikely, given the awkward situation.
“He’s asleep. He has a sleeping problem, so he takes a pill before he goes to bed. That’s why he wasn’t here to greet you, luckily.” She paused, looking concerned as she watched me intently.
“The last time I saw you, everything happened so quickly I didn’t really get a good look at you, nor did it help that the lack of lighting didn’t show how wounded you are. I mean, I think I saw it, but I was just too shocked to see you again, and things spiraled quickly afterwards, so it was difficult to grasp everything. You’re definitely okay, though, right?”
I merely gave a meek nod, unsure what to make of her apprehensive attitude.
“That’s great. That’s amazing to hear.” She nervously gave out a forced laugh before looking away with her lips pressed together. “Luca…” she whispered in a melancholy tone before trying to seek my eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“You must know”—I felt gutted, raw, crestfallen—“I can’t stop thinking about you. Lord knows I’ve tried—God, how I tried to do just that—but nothing seems to work. I don’t know what to do.”
She stared at me gravely. “I can’t do this with you. This is insanely crazy. Please … go home,” she pleaded, appearing frantic as she clutched her silk robe.
I was aggravating her, and I felt wretched about it, but I had come this far. I couldn’t see myself giving up again just because she chose to push me away.
“Look at me.” I sought to connect with her eyes; however, the wretched woman moved her head to the side, unrelenting. “Dammit, look at me!” I heatedly hissed at her. Fear gripped me, yet hope somehow prevailed as I lovingly reached out to cup her face with my hands, beseeching. “Tell me you don’t feel this. Tell me this isn’t breaking you the way it’s doing me in.”
“There’s a larger aspect involved here, Luca. It’s not just between you and me. I wish things could’ve turned differently between us, but at this stage, there’s nothing we can do other than accept that we’re fated to be apart.” Glassy eyed, she sought my face, imploring. “Every waking moment I spent with you … I’ll always treasure. They’ll always be some of my fondest memories. I’m sorry—I really am—but you must go.”
Why wasn’t she listening to a word I was saying?
“I’ve tried.” Couldn’t she see that? It took me months to decide to seek her out. All those months I had struggled to forget her to no avail. I had all but given up the fantasy of forgetting her because I knew she was too deeply imbedded inside me, and the moment that happened; there was no undoing it. It was either I accept it or live a life chasing her ghost away. This…this was me choosing—choosing to keep loving her. “It’s all I did for the past few months. I tried to forget you, but you wouldn’t leave my thoughts. Whenever I was between another woman’s legs, I would close my eyes and think of you in her place.”
I had been looking for the wrong things, hoping it was the solution I needed to get on with my life. However, I realized that I had to do one last thing before I could fully let go, and it was that I had to fight for her first, which I should have done from the start.
Otto
“I love you. I fucking do.” Telling her how I felt was a good start. “I know it might sound crazy and out of character, because it is, but I’ve never felt this way with anyone before. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but it did, and there’s no going back from that. I love you, Kimberly.” My declaration hung in the air between us as I watched her face contort with an array of emotions, leaving me hanging in the balance.
“Luca…” she hesitantly murmured, seeming at a loss for words.
Unwilling to even consider having her push me away again, I hardened my resolve and continued, “That one special night when we were drunk dancing under the moonlight, and you said you loved me, was that a lie?”
Casting her eyes low, she made a small shake of her head. “No, of course it wasn’t. And it’s true. It was what I felt at the time.”
/> Hope washed over me, but I didn’t want to blatantly state the obvious, because a part of me needed for her to admit it out loud.
“And now? How do you feel about me now?”
Beautiful, saddened puppy eyes glazed with unshed tears met with my determined ones. “What I feel now doesn’t matter, so whatever it is you aim to achieve, please give up. I’m never going to leave him. Sometimes, life doesn’t pan out the way we want it to. Sometimes, there are bigger things to worry about than one’s happiness.”
She was willing to deny us paradise. Couldn’t she see that I would do anything—literally any damn thing—to make her mine once more? I was laying my heart on the line, and whether she chose to butcher it or nurture it was her call.
Leaning towards her body, I slightly bent my head to whisper into her ear, unwavering. “You still feel it.” My hand gently placed itself against her chest where I could feel the rapid, steady rate of her heart. “You know you do, but you won’t let me hear you say those words again. That’s okay. I won’t force it out of you.”
I felt her body shiver just as her pebbled buds hardened against my chest, bolting my body into a carnal state of unparalleled passion. God help me, I wanted her like a parched man desired water in the middle of the desert, with its blistering sun scorching down on them.
The scent that was only her—her own personal aroma—enraptured my senses, filling me with profound nostalgia. “Don’t stop me. Per favore…” I rasped out into her ear before the tip of my tongue snaked out to taste her skin. To me, there was nothing more delectable than savoring the very taste of her on my tongue. “I need you, cara.” More than anything I could imagine. Right at that instant, in that small speck of time, I felt more alive than I had for the past months, living like an automated person, perfecting the pretention of living a normal life.
She wanted me; every pore in her body screamed as much to my touch. Her body called on my animalistic senses, pleading, craving for me to take her on a wild, passionate ride that she once couldn’t get enough of. However, I knew she was willing to block me from achieving what I ought to have sought from the very beginning—making her mine and mine alone.
