by Nancy Thayer
Jonah slumped in and collapsed at one end of the sofa. Lacey, full of morning energy and curiosity, sat at the other end. Sophie shut the door to the hall.
“Here we go,” muttered Jonah ominously.
Sophie heard him. She pulled up an armchair so that she could meet them eyeball to eyeball from the other side of the coffee table.
“Yep, kids, here we go indeed.” She looked at the faces of both her precious children. All night she had tossed and turned, attempting to put together the perfect announcement, such a perfect announcement that no one would be sad. But of course, that really wasn’t a possibility. “Jonah. Lacey. I have to tell you something that I’m afraid will be hard for you to hear. Daddy and I are going to get divorced.” She paused.
Lacey looked quickly at her brother, who did not turn his head toward her but stared stonily at the wall. “Will we have to change schools?” Lacey asked.
This was not the question Sophie had expected. She almost laughed in surprise. “I don’t know yet, honestly. Daddy and I haven’t discussed the details. I don’t know if we’ll get to stay in our house or if we’ll have to move.”
“I refuse to spend the night or any time at all with Dad and Lila,” Jonah said.
Sophie stared in amazement. “Jonah! What do you mean? Why are you mentioning Lila?”
Jonah balled his hands into fists and set them carefully on his knees in a sign of forced restraint. “Get real, Mom. I’ve known about Lila for months. I saw Dad with her. Plus Dad has hardly ever been home.”
“Who’s Lila?” Lacey asked, looking confused.
“Don’t be stupid,” Jonah snapped at his sister. “You know Lila. She’s an architect, Dad’s partner. He’ll probably marry her next.”
Sophie was baffled. Somehow she had lost control of the conversation. “Jonah, how do you know about Lila?”
“Mom, why don’t you know about her?” Jonah shot back. His left leg was jiggling up and down rapidly.
Sophie recognized this as a sign of stress and knew she had to at least act as if she were in charge. “Jonah, Lacey, I want you to listen to me carefully. Children don’t know everything that goes on between their parents. Your father and I have been discussing our future for some time now.” Okay, she thought, some time was only a matter of weeks, but for the sake of remaining in authority and providing a sense of protection for her children, she was going to fudge the issue. “Daddy and I love you both very much.”
“Yeah, that’s why we see so much of him,” Jonah spat.
Sophie continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “Daddy and I married when we were awfully young. We were so happy with you children and our family. But things change. People change. It’s true, Daddy really likes Lila. I think they’ll probably be happy together because they both are architects. So we’re going to get divorced, but that won’t change the way Daddy and I love you.”
“We’ll probably get to see more of Daddy now,” chirped Lacey.
Who were these children? Where did they get these attitudes? “Lacey, I don’t want you to be sad.”
“I don’t think I am sad, Mommy. Lots of kids in my school have divorced parents.” Lacey’s face crinkled with worry. “But I totally hope we don’t have to move. I want to go to the same school. And maybe the court will force Daddy to spend more time with us.”
“Who wants to see more of him?” Jonah said bitterly.
“Have I entered the twenty-fifth century?” Sophie walked around the coffee table and plunked down on the sofa, reaching out to pull her children close to each side. “You two are way too sophisticated for me. I thought you would cry and ask a thousand questions. I’m shocked, frankly, by your reactions.”
“Mom,” said Jonah, “we’re not babies anymore.”
Lacey nodded eagerly. “That’s true. We are not babies anymore.”
“But that doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings. That doesn’t mean you aren’t experiencing all kinds of emotions—sadness, even grief, that your family is breaking up. Maybe even anger, but really, this divorce isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“So are you going to date that Bulgarian?” Jonah demanded.
Sophie’s head was spinning. “What? Wait. You are moving entirely too fast. Could we focus for a minute on the fact that your father and I are getting divorced?”
Both children went silent. Lacey leaned against her mother, welcoming Sophie’s encircling arm. Jonah sat rigidly, neither pulling away from Sophie’s embrace nor accepting it.
“I don’t know what to say,” Lacey confessed. “I always thought we had a kind of funny family. I mean, Dad is nice, and he’s there for Christmas and our birthdays, but he really likes his work. Lots of dads are that way. Moms, too. I guess I always thought that when I got older, Dad would be more interested in me.”
Sophie’s heart hurt to hear her child say such things. “Oh, sweetie, Daddy has always loved you.”
“I know that, Mom. Jennifer’s dad is like our dad, always working. Michelle’s dad is that way, too.”
“You kids are being champions,” Sophie said. “Still, I think you are going to experience all kinds of feelings about this divorce. You can call your dad or talk to me, or I’ll get a counselor for you if you want to talk to someone outside the family. For sure this divorce is not going to happen with a snap of the fingers. It’s going to change our lives. You may think Daddy hasn’t been there much, but it will feel strange for you when he’s not in the house at all.”
“There are all kinds of families,” said Lacey.
Sophie laughed. “Learned that in a school lecture, did you?” She squeezed her daughter tightly.
“So next you have to tell Grandma,” Jonah said.
“That’s true. Thanks to you, Jonah, you traitor.” Sophie knocked her son lightly on his shoulder.
“Why am I a traitor?” Jonah demanded, suddenly angry.
“It was you who called your grandma. It was you who told her I was kissing another man. She is your father’s mother. He should be the one to tell her about the divorce.”
Jonah pulled away and stood up. “Grandma likes you. And I like Grandma.”
Lacey added quickly, “I do, too. She’s all huggy and sweet. Your mother just orders us around.”
Another emotional knife wound of hurt stabbed Sophie’s heart. “Grandmother is a physician. She saves lives. She’s used to giving orders and taking care of people. She works hard and she’s sensible. She’s quite a different personality from Grandma, but she loves you just as much.”
“When is Grandma coming?” Jonah asked, walking a few steps away.
“This afternoon. And since you called her, you are going to ride out in the car with me to pick her up at the airport. And while we’re at it, Hristo and I were not making out.”
Lacey piped up. “I think it would be cool if you married Hristo. Then Desi and I could be sisters and live in the same house.”
“Honestly, kids, I’m astounded. I bet you’re both hiding feelings, trying to be all grown up and blasé.” Sophie glanced from one child to the other.
“We’ve had years to practice,” murmured Jonah.
Sophie rose and went to her son. She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared into his face. She had to tilt her head back because now he was so tall. “Jonah, you don’t have to be grown up. You don’t have to protect me. I’m still your mother and I want to protect you. I want you to understand that marriages can last. I want you to know that in a way your father and I will always care for each other. Please don’t get all distant and bitter. Promise me you’ll speak with your dad about all this. Promise me you’ll come to me if you ever feel like it’s all too much for you. I’m really okay about all this—I need you both to know this. I’m really okay.”
Jonah looked at his mother, his expression unreadable. “I know you are, Mom. I wish you would believe that when I say it. I’m really okay, too.”
From behind her, Lacey said, “I just got a text from Desi. Can I g
o to her house today?”
Sophie threw up her hands. “No wonder there are so many television shows about zombies these days. My children are zombies.” But she agreed that their private session was over. Now the day could begin.
—
Trevor was in the kitchen finishing the breakfast dishes while Leo played underneath the kitchen table. When the Andersons came out of the family room, Leo jumped up and ran to Sophie.
“Can we play piano now?” his son asked.
“Sure,” answered Sophie. She took Leo’s hand. “Let’s go.”
“I’m going to get ready to go to Desi’s house,” Lacey announced as she ran up the stairs.
Jonah didn’t speak, but trudged up the stairs with a face like one of the living dead.
Trevor stood in the door to the music room, listening to his son’s careful scales. Then—he wasn’t sure why—he walked upstairs and stood outside Jonah’s door. He thought he heard muffled crying. He knocked on the door.
“Go away!”
Trevor hesitated, remembered their conversation outside the apartment last night, opened the door, and went in.
Jonah was lying on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. Trevor sat down at the end of the bed and put his hand on Jonah’s ankle.
“So tell me.”
Jonah sat up, pulling his knees to his chest and rubbing his eyes with his fists. “She told us they’re getting divorced. Oh, man, I don’t want to live with that Lila. She’s such a slut. At last year’s Christmas party, she kept bending over to serve me punch so she could give me a good shot of her big boobs. I don’t want to live with that Hristo guy, either. I don’t want to move to Bulgaria.” Jonah’s shoulders shook as he cried.
“You’ve moved from point A to point Z way too quickly,” Trevor said quietly. “The bad news and the good news about something as enormous as divorce is that you have to go through it day by day. Hour by hour. Somewhere I read that human beings are the only creatures to spend the present driving themselves crazy about the future. Think about today. It hasn’t changed. You don’t know what’s going to happen with your father and Lila. And I’m pretty sure your mom’s not going to move you guys to Bulgaria.”
“Well, why is Mom teaching Leo piano when she never tried to teach us?” Jonah demanded.
“I guess the time was right. Or maybe the place. I mean,” Trevor thought with a spark of inspiration, “did you even have a piano in your house?”
“No. But why didn’t she get one?”
“Ask your mother. If she’s ready to play piano, maybe she’s ready to talk about her passion for it.”
Jonah looked up at Trevor with a wry smile on his blotchy face. “You know, dude, you’re a smart guy, but maybe you’ve forgotten no guy likes to hear the words mother and passion in the same sentence.”
“Right. Forgot.” Trevor returned Jonah’s smile, his entire rib cage filling with warmth and pride because this boy was opening up.
“It’s all so complicated,” Jonah said. “I don’t understand. Why do so many people get married only to get divorced?”
Trevor thought about that for a while. “Well, I don’t suppose anyone has the absolute answer to your question. But I kind of think people marry the wrong people to get the right children.”
Jonah squinted his eyes, thinking about what Trevor said. After a while he announced, “I’m going to wait a long time to get married.”
“Good idea.”
“But what if I can’t wait a long time to like a girl?”
“Geez, Jonah, what am I, a Ouija board? I don’t know the answer to everything. You’re going to have to figure that out for yourself.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jonah got off the bed, grabbed a tissue, and blew his nose. “I’m okay now. I’m gonna go watch TV until it’s time to pick up Grandma.”
Trevor went to the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned back to Jonah. “One last question regarding the whole thing about you liking the girl. Have your parents talked to you about birth control?”
Jonah rolled his eyes. “Of course they have. Man, you’re demented. Go away.” He turned away to hide a grin.
Trevor left Jonah’s room and walked down the hall to his temporary office. I’m the man, he thought, I’m the man.
—
As Trevor was checking his email, his cell phone rang.
“We’re on our way!” cooed a familiar female voice.
Trevor froze. The circuits of his brain crashed. Frantically, a luminescent arrow like a computer cursor zipped around inside his head trying to locate the name of the person speaking. A primitive warning system prevented him from asking who was calling and what they were talking about.
“Tell Leo we’re bringing him a huge set of medieval Legos so he and Cassidy can build a walled castle.”
Cassidy. With that, his brain rebooted and he understood what was going on. Cassidy, a four-year-old girl who attended Leo’s preschool and was Leo’s best friend, was coming to the island to visit, brought by her mother, Candace. Way back in May, when people were still consoling Trevor and Leo, Trevor had suggested to Candace that she bring Cassidy for a visit. He had foreseen a summer of being alone in a house on the island with his boy and he knew that Cassidy always made Leo smile. It had been a brilliant idea, back then, before he met Sophie.
“Trevor? Can you hear me? I’m not sure this connection is working.”
Trevor cleared his throat. There was nothing for it but to go through with it. He had made the date with her; they had confirmed it before he left. “Candace!” He tried to put enthusiasm into his voice. “I can hear you. Great. Leo will be mad crazy to see Cassidy. Are you coming on a ferry or flying from Hyannis?”
“We arrive on the four-thirty fast ferry.”
“I’ll be there to pick you up. But listen, Candace, the house has gotten kind of full. The other family is here, too, you know. They’re nice. But it’s kind of a circus.”
“Sounds like fun,” Candace said. She was as cheerful as she was pretty, Trevor remembered. “See you soon. Huggies.” She giggled her trademark giggle because her daughter still used the word for a brand of diapers whenever she wanted to be cuddled.
Trevor hung up the phone and collapsed in his chair in front of his computer. All this information—the date and time of the Halls’ arrival—was right there on his monitor, on the calendar he hadn’t bothered to look at recently. He had the oddest sense of behaving unfaithfully to both Candace and Sophie even though he hadn’t slept with or even kissed either one of them. Back in his bachelor days he had been known to date two or three women at the same time. Candace Hall was a single mom and a rock-star friend. She was widowed, too. Her husband had been killed in Iraq. She had loved her husband. There was no way Trevor could really explain to Candace how his loss was nothing compared to hers. She was an artist, specializing in delicate watercolors, and she’d never been to the island before. Even though she was drop-dead gorgeous, with long brown hair and a willowy figure, Trevor thought of Candace only as a friend. And Leo adored Cassidy.
Everything was going to be fine. Why was he getting so stressed? Why did he want so desperately to assure Sophie there was nothing romantic between him and Candace? Why did he think Sophie would even care? All this was doing his head in.
Downstairs in the music room, Leo was sitting on Sophie’s lap, practicing piano. Trevor leaned against the hall door, quietly watching. Leo’s focus was absolute. He had a habit of biting his top lip as he played. It made him look slightly deranged. Sophie was wearing a sundress he hadn’t seen before, a lime green that accentuated her tan and made her blond hair shimmer with silver. The arch of her wrist when she showed Leo a chord was delicate and elegant. Her instructions to his son were almost whispered, so lightly spoken Trevor couldn’t hear the words, but he caught the music of her voice.
Was he in love with her? It wasn’t simply that she was being gentle with his son. Lots of women had been nice to Leo. If he was honest with himsel
f, he knew that he wanted to make love to her. He wanted to buy a big house and move in with her and Lacey and Jonah and make everything all right. Oh my God. He was a madman.
Sophie noticed Trevor standing there with his mouth open. “Your son is amazing.”
Leo spotted Trevor. “Did you hear me, Daddy? I played ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ and I didn’t make a mistake.”
“I heard, buddy. You really are getting good.” He hesitated. “Want to play the song you play at night? I’ll bet Sophie would like to hear it.”
Leo shook his head, slid off Sophie’s lap, and skipped to Trevor. “Can we get a piano at home?”
Home. The thought of leaving this house and this woman and her kids dropped deep in Trevor’s stomach like lead. “Sure. But guess what? Cassidy is arriving this afternoon.”
Leo jumped up and down with excitement, much more like the happy kid he’d been before Tallulah’s death. Out of the corner of his eye, Trevor saw Sophie stand up.
“Sophie, can we talk a minute, about arrangements?” He picked up his wiggling boy and walked off, dumping Leo on the sofa. “I had forgotten one of Leo’s best friends, Cassidy, and her mother, Candace, are arriving this afternoon to stay for a few days.”
“How fabulous! This is terrific, Trevor.” Sophie seemed genuinely happy at his announcement.
“It is? Why is it terrific?”
“Well, you know Jeanette, Zack’s mother, is arriving this afternoon, too. This way, she’ll see that you’ve got—” Sophie glanced meaningfully at Leo, indicating that she was watching her words—“a female friend. So she won’t think that I’m your, um, ‘special’ female friend.” She blushed as she spoke.
Did it actually make Sophie happy not to be his, um, “special” female friend? Trevor wanted to go stick his head in a bucket. “I suppose we need to work out how to deal with extra meals…” He was hopeless.
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take Jeanette and the kids out to a restaurant tonight so you can have a special time here with Candace and Cassidy. Then you can take your group out tomorrow night. Jeanette is a great cook, and I’m sure the rest of the meals we can take care of together.”
