by Jahquel J
I knocked on her front door and waited for her to answer the door. When she opened it, she was shocked to see me. “What are you doing here?” she hugged me and welcomed me inside. Everything inside of the apartment was nearly gone. The only thing in her living room was three boxes and a piece of a couch. She saw my expression and started laughing while on her way into the kitchen.
“I packed up all of Todd’s things and had his mother come and get them. Then, I started packing and started selling some things for the cash. As much as I don’t want to go live with my mother, I have to. I can’t afford this place,” she explained.
I plopped down on the couch. “Where’s the check that I gave you? Use it for a down payment on a house. I’ll write you another one for your tutoring center.”
She handed me a glass of ice water and sat on her feet next to me. “Are you nuts? The money you gave me was for my tutoring center. I opened a bank account and have an accountant that is going to help me when it comes to setting up things for the business,” she informed me. I could see that she had been busy getting her life together.
“Money is nothing. Let me take care of you.”
“As tempting as the offer is, I can’t accept any more help from you. Moving in with my mom is the best thing, even though she’s not all that pleased to have me come stay with her.”
“Word?”
“She’s been staying at Liberty’s house because Staten told her to. Me and my mom are still in a weird space since I chose to go home and take care of Todd. Although I’m done with him, she’s still in her feelings that I chose him over my own life.”
“She’s your mom. We could have lost you, so your decision fucked with a lot of us.” She looked over at me.
“Even you?”
“Especially me. I ain’t never begged no woman like I had begged you. You still decided to go with that nigga, and it hurt me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to be. You’re mine now, so we don’t need to relive the past anymore. All that matters is that we build the future the right way.”
“I don’t have much to offer you, Roshon. My self-esteem is low, I have no home, my car was repossessed the other day. What can I offer you?”
“Give me half of you. You can have the rest, just knowing that I have half of you is good with me. Let me help build you up and make you whole again. I want to put a smile on your face, build that self-esteem up and help you see the you that I see every time I stare into your eyes.” I told her as I stared right into those beautiful brown eyes of hers.
“I believe everything that comes out of your mouth. When I look at you, or even feel you next to me, I know that you would never hurt me. You would rather die before you hurt me. Lord knows I’ve been through enough hurt and have trust issues…. Still, you don’t care. You want to help me become the best version of me and for that I appreciate you.” She touched my face and I kissed her hand.
“Like I told you, you’re everything that I want and more. I’ve never felt the way I feel for you, for anyone else. When I close my eyes, I could see a future with you. I could hear the water crash on the beach as you walk down the aisle toward me on our wedding day. You love my nieces like your own. Justice, you’re the type of woman I prayed for and now that I got you, I’ll be damn if I lose something so damn good.”
Niggas always fuck up when they took their woman for granted. They had a diamond in their hands and always chose to toss it to the ground for a shiny pebble. I wanted to be the support system for my woman, not be the nigga that caused her to seek support from someone else. As men, we had to realize that it wasn’t up to these women to fix us. We had to come better with the shit too. It wasn’t their job to hold down a career, have the babies, submit to us and then we had the nerve to come with more baggage than LAX. It wasn’t their job to correct what our mamas and fucked up daddies did. She wanted a whole man, not a piece of man that she had to fix. Nine times out ten, after she put in the time, tears, and years, we would leave her and go jump to the next woman. After we had broken down a Queen, we had the nerve to jump to the next woman like the next shiny item. When it came to Justice, I wanted her to see that all men weren’t the same. The shit she put up with from her ex wasn’t the same problems she was going to have with me.
“Move in with me.”
“Wait, what?”
“You heard me,” I replied.
She stared at me as if she was expecting me to say that I was joking. I was dead ass serious. Why should she have to tuck her tail behind her legs and go back to her mama’s crib? We were both grown adults that were capable of living together. Yeah, it was too soon to be taking that step, but how else would we know if we were meant to be?
“I don’t know, Ro. It’s too soon for us to be taking that leap, you know?”
I grabbed her hand. “What I know is that I want to be with you. You think we’re moving too fast, then take over the guest room, it’s yours.” I suggested. Just knowing that she was under the same roof as me was enough. “You got me looking like a soft ass nigga begging and shit.” I joked.
She giggled as she put her index finger to her mouth while she was thinking. “I like that you beg and you’re not afraid to tell me how you feel.” She smiled. “I’ll move in with you, but I’m going to stay in the guest suite. I don’t want the girls seeing us move so quick. You know?”
“You acting like they don’t already love you. Moving in is a bonus for them. Since Kiss is gone, they gonna want you to do their hair and help them with their clothes and shit.”
Her eyes lowered and then she looked at me. “Have you heard from her? I tried calling her and her phone is off.”
“She must have turned it off. Nah, I haven’t.”
“I’m worried about her, Ro. She’s seventeen with a damn baby. Kiss has never raised no new baby in her life.”
“She made her decision when she wanted to ban me from the hospital. Kiss is grown enough to fuck and have babies, but not grown enough to raise her child alone? Nah, we gotta stop allowing kids to play us. Yeah, as kids they’re going to make mistakes that I’m sure they’ll regret. Still, when do we as parents start holding them accountable? Kiss made her mind up and didn’t give a fuck on how I would feel, so yeah she needs to figure out life for herself.”
She sighed. “I guess. I’m just worried about her. That’s all.”
“You’re not the only one. All we can do is pray over her and the baby. Nothing more.” I replied and leaned back on the couch. “Me and Marisol went to the doctors today.”
“Oh really? How did it go?” she asked as she started rubbing the top of my head. Closing my eyes, I took in the moment because this shit felt good. This was all I wanted. To come home from a long day of working to get my head rubbed on while laying between my girl’s legs.
“Shit was fucked up at first. She was starting hella shit, then got mad when I asked the doctor for a DNA test.”
“In front of her and the doctor?” she quizzed.
“Yeah.”
“Roshon, you should have spoken to Marisol about it before mentioning it to her doctor. She was probably mortified.”
“She already knew that I wanted one. Why have another conversation about something she already knew?”
“You both are going to have to come together for this baby. It’s not like you both are sharing a puppy or something. This is a live baby coming into the world and you both are going to have to communicate better.”
“We made up… a little. I took her to get food.”
“For how long? Until she realizes that you were serious about the DNA test? This whole situation is going to be a mess.”
“All I’m saying is that I want to know that the baby is mine. Marisol wants to act like she was just fucking around with me, but I know she was messing with her ex.”
“That’s your right. You can have a DNA test, but why not wait until after she has the baby?” she suggested.
“I want to know now
. Imagine me not getting the test done and still going to her appointments, shopping with her, and doing all the shit you do when you’re expecting a baby, and it turns out that it’s not my baby.” I paused. “Then, on the other hand I don’t do anything and wait until the baby is born and find out that the baby is mine. I could never forgive myself for missing all of that shit when it comes to my baby.”
“If the baby is yours… you’re going to be a great daddy,” she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m excited for you.”
“You wasn’t happy at first,” I laughed.
“I was in my feelings and taking my personal shit out on you. You both weren’t expecting this so just make the best out of a surprise situation… you know?”
I grabbed her face and kissed on her lips. “This is why I love you, man.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty dope,” she laughed.
“You staying the night with me?”
“I mean, I’m moving in so is it considered spending the night?” she laughed. “You can help me move a few boxes tonight.” She got off the couch.
“Damn Jus, you trying to make me work and I’m tired.”
“Get over it,” she smirked and left out of the living room.
I sat on the couch for a bit thinking about Kiss. As her uncle, of course I wanted to know how she was doing. I wanted her to bring her ass home. Yet, I had to understand that Kiss thought she had the world figured out and she didn’t want to listen to me. When it came to her, she felt that I should be quiet and let her live her life. She had the right and I wouldn’t say anything, except she wasn’t going to be under my roof doing that shit. I had two teenagers at home that I was raising up and didn’t need her trying to influence them down the wrong path. I didn’t know what went wrong with Kiss but Love and Kiki were going to college.
Free dropped us home. I put the alarm on and I’m making Pizza bites for us, Love must have known that I was thinking about her and Kiki.
I’m heading home now. Jus moving in with us for a bit.
Yass, it’s lit.
What I tell you about that lit shit.
I’m lit, deal with it. Love u. C u when you get home. She replied and I laughed. Tossing my phone on the couch, I went to go and help Justice bring her boxes over to the house.
5
Staten
“Why do I have to hear from my girls that you’re fucking Liberty’s coke head ass?” Chanel was on my back soon as I walked through the door of my house.
Zeek had been quiet and the money was back moving. Just like Ghost, we knew losing his brother would hit him. Losing anyone would fuck with you. My brother had always been the strongest man I knew and once he lost Summer, I had seen him so vulnerable and broken. That nigga Zeek was probably lying in bed with his ass tooted up like his gay ass brother. I couldn’t believe that Zoe was fucking around with Myla, Free and Kiss’ young ass. That girl was always wrapped up in some bullshit and knowing that the baby she was carrying was Zoe’s, didn’t surprise me. Kiss wanted to be out in the hood and act like she was grown. Everyone saw it, except Priest. In his mind, she was still that seven-year-old girl when her mother passed away. He didn’t want to believe that she had grown up and stumbled upon the same hood she was raised in.
“Nigga, I know you fucking hear me!” Chanel yelled, bringing me back to my current situation. After ripping and running the streets all night, I wanted to just fucking come home and get into the bed.
“Remind me to change my locks,” I muttered and went into the fridge. Chanel was right on my heels wanting her questions to be answered.
“Why you always listening to your bum ass friends? How many times did I tell you to stop listening to them?”
“It ain’t only them. I heard C-money say something about him not being able to serve Liberty because her man stopped him,” she explained. “I was curious to know who her man is, and he tells me Staten. Do you know how stupid I looked? I should have known you were fucking with that bitch!” she mushed me and walked into the living room.
C- money had a big ass mouth and he was about to get his ass stomped into Stapleton because he was speaking on me and my girl’s business. Damn, I guess she really was my girl. The shit felt weird as fuck, but I wanted Liberty more than I wanted to trap. Running the streets had been all I wanted to do. Settling down and doing the couple shit was never on my agenda. Liberty had me wanting to rush back to her crib to chill and spend time together. That shit wasn’t for me. I used to make fun of Ghost when he did that shit with Shakira when they first started fucking around. Even with all of Liberty’s flaws and shit, I still wanted to be with her and fix her. I wanted to learn about her hurt so I could figure out how to heal her. Liberty didn’t know how she made me feel. She was so skeptical about everything, so I knew it would take time to build her trust. It pained me that she had never witnessed a real nigga. A real nigga was going to let his woman know how he felt about her. Whenever I expressed how I felt toward her, she got all weird and questioned everything I said. The shit irritated the fuck out of me.
“That nigga don’t know what he’s talking about. How’s my baby?” I tried to switch the conversation and she wasn’t trying to hear me. My damn eyes were nearly crossed because I was so fucking tired.
“Don’t worry about me and my baby. You didn’t give a damn when you got yourself a new bitch and didn’t tell us.”
“Chill with all that fucking noise, Chanel. I’m tired as fuck and want to lay down, but I have you in my fucking face screaming about Liberty. Why the fuck are you so concerned?”
Liberty had her own share of problems and was in no place to place judgement, yet she was right when it came to Chanel. Chanel had fucked around with plenty of niggas and I never said shit. All I asked was for her to let me know if they hurt her. I allowed her to be happy with them for however long, and never inserted myself into her relationship. Whenever I did, she would come cry and tell me to let her be happy with her nigga. So, I did. I allowed Chanel to live her life and never said anything. Whenever she needed me, I was always there waiting. A nigga never cared because I was too busy getting money and a variety of pussy, so why settle for one? The one girl I wanted, I couldn’t have.
“Wow. Since when we start hiding shit from each other? I tell you everything and you can’t even stand here and be honest with me,” her eyes watered so I knew the water works were about to start.
“Yes, I’m fucking with Liberty! Damn!” I yelled. “That make you feel better? Did you win a fucking million dollars? Cause you sure was acting like you were about to win some money by pressing me with this shit.”
A tear slipped down her cheek as she looked at me. Chanel was selfish and I hadn’t really paid attention to it until Liberty, looking in from the outside pointed it out to me. Even with her being selfish, I hated yelling at her, especially with her carrying my baby. I tried to keep the shit between me and Liberty to myself because I knew how Chanel could be. She would start planting seeds into me and then I would end shit with Lib. I was trying hard to make this relationship work and it seemed like the more I tried, the more barriers kept coming out and trying to stop it.
“Coke heads, really? I thought you had more class than that, Shaliq?” she wiped away her tears. “If you want a relationship with your baby, then you need to end things with Liberty. She’s no good for you. That girl is so fucking weird and hasn’t been the same since Pook left her dumb ass,” she added.
“Don’t try and use the baby against me and it’s not even here,” I warned her. “Chanel, we’re not doing this shit… you hear?”
“Doing what?” she raised her voice. “Looking out for you like I have always did? What exactly aren’t we doing? All those bitches you used to fuck with were scum and I saved you from that.”
“What about the niggas that just wanted to sample the pussy? Once they got what they wanted, what happened?” She stood there shocked. “I told you about all of them too and what did you tell me?”
“T
hat’s differ—”
“What’s different? The fact that I’m now with someone and you’re pissed? I’m fucking thirty years old and have never had a serious relationship. How you know I don’t want to get married or have some kids with the woman I love? Huh, Chanel? You didn’t think about that because you’re always worried about yourself.”
“You are having kids with the woman you love. Where is all of this coming from? Is Liberty telling you to say this? Cause Shaliq, I swear,” she threatened like she was going to do something to Liberty.
Chanel had always been sheltered. She was the girl everyone used to sit on her stoop and get free ice pops from her mom. Chanel never had to fight in the hood because a nigga wanted to test your gangsta. She never had to worry about her next meal or going to school with dirty clothes. Although her home was close to the hood, it was miles away when it came to how her parents raised her. She wasn’t raised to date hood niggas and drug dealers. Chanel wasn’t even supposed to be friends with the ghetto ass girls she liked to call friends.
“And what you gonna do? Beat Liberty’s ass while you’re pregnant with my child? Cut that shit out, it ain’t you. I’m fucking tired and got to bounce in a few hours. Leave the situation alone.”
“Don’t fucking call me when that bitch breaks your heart. Word around is that Liberty robbed Pook, so I hope you haven’t invited her here.” She smacked her lips, grabbed her purse, and headed to the door. “If you’re still with her when I have this baby, you better hope I’ve warmed up to the both of you, because you’re not bringing her around my child.”
“It’s my child to—” I was cut off by her leaving out the door and slamming it hard behind her. “Too,” I finished my sentence and went to lock the door.
