With a sigh, I push open the passenger car door and hop out, only to be blinded by the sunlight, and follow her across the lot toward the lake entrance. There are no trees anywhere here, just a dirt parking lot and a crumbling staircase that leads to the lake below. Cat walks briskly, not even looking at me, and I have to jog to keep up with her. Dust flies up from under my feet as I move, and I can feel the breeze bat it back after me. I follow Cat down the stairs, then the next pair, then the next, until she stops so suddenly toward the bottom that I almost run into her.
“What—” I start to say, wondering what exactly has gotten into her this time, but then I follow her gaze out to the lake before us. I can’t help myself; I gasp. But, I mean, it’s beautiful. Like, actually beautiful. The water is so glass-like, shimmering under the bright sunlight, barely even ruffled by the breeze. Behind it, halfway across the lake, lies a distant island my parents and I used as our kayak race destination. A few boats surge through the vast of expanse of lake here and there, and I can hear the distant sounds of kids laughing and playing, the barking of a dog, the sound of water lapping against the shore. It’s all so peaceful. So perfect. I turn to Cat, but her gaze is still focused on the water. The hot air warms my skin, making me shiver in a good kind of way, and I finding myself smiling. It’s good to be here again. With Cat. Like old times.
I realize then that no one else is on our part of the lake, which is really just a patch of twenty feet of rocky land and a beach chair positioned in front of the water.
It’s just us.
On the most beautiful day of the year.
Alone.
Warm.
Lonely.
My heart stops. Oh my god. Cat planned this all, didn’t she? This whole setting, this complete perfection, was her idea? And she is a romantic genius, too. Oh shit. She knows my weakness.
As if on cue, Cat hops off the last staircase and onto the rocky shore below. She turns back to me after a second. I feel myself sweating under my “I SUPPORT RIGHTS FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE” t-shirt, because of Cat or the heat or possibly both I do not know. I go with the heat.
“So,” Cat finally says, reaching for a rock on the ground.
I try to hide my nerves, not wanting to know what she is planning next. “So?” I say with attempted calmness.
She stares at me like I’m an idiot. “We’re at the lake. It’s hot out. Let’s go for a swim.”
My gaze shifts to my feet. “Oh…”
When I don’t look excited, she edges closer to me, frowning. I watch, unmoving, as she looks me up and down as if trying to determine what my deal is. Then a light bulb seems to go off in her head. “Oh my god,” she says. My breath catches. “Please don’t tell me you’re too scared to swim with me.”
I shake my head. “No, I…”
Her hands are on her hips. Again. “Then what?”
“Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” I’m not.
“Good,” Cat says. “Then let’s swim.” At that, she turns and walks back over to the beach chair. I follow her, taking a tentative step off the stairs and onto the tiny strip of land we’re on in front of the lake. Water laps at the shore, sweeping up some gray and brown rocks nestled in its path, and the sunlight seems to follow me everywhere. It’s good, though—a refreshing change from the freezing winter nights.
I watch as Cat drops her bag off on the old, rickety beach chair, shakes her long hair, and reaches for her shirt collar. Then, without a moment’s hesitation, she pulls it upward. It takes me a second to realize she’s taking off her shirt.
My whole body freezes up. “What are you doing?” I say quickly. All the alarms in my brain seem to go off at once, like special Cat Trigger Warnings that are telling me this is not good. Not good at all.
It’s not that I’ve never seen Cat in her bra before—I have on multiple occasions—but now it feels… different. Wrong, even.
She stops what she’s doing and turns to me. “I’m taking off my shirt,” she says blankly. “It’s what people tend to do at beaches when they go swimming.” I open my mouth to argue, but really what am I going to say? There is no argument here, so I clamp it immediately shut. My heart has started up again, and my breathing comes in rapid fire. Cat looks into my eyes. My jaw tightens. “Holy shit, West. You’re scared of seeing me in my bra, aren’t you?” she exclaims like she’s just won some prize.
“No!” I say, shaking my head and blushing madly. She’s totally right, though. “It’s not…” I murmur. “No. No.”
Wow. I don’t remember being this un-smooth.
“Well,” Cat says, still smiling, “sorry to disappoint, but this is just a bathing suit.”
I blush even harder. “A bathing suit?”
“A bathing suit.”
I glance at my feet. “Oh…”
Cat sighs. “Can I take off my shirt now so we can swim or are you still too terrified to see me without it on?”
“Yeah… okay. Fine. You’re way too amused by this,” I add, forcing a smile.
She throws up her hands. “Guilty as charged.”
After a second, she turns back around. She drops her gaze to her shirt again, grabs the collar, and starts to pull it over her head. The fabric makes a slight swishing sound as it slides over her body, revealing a slice of lightly tanned stomach. I try to look away—I try, I really do—but for some reason, I can’t. My eyes won’t let me. So I watch as her shirt comes off, as it brushes against her body, slides across her shoulders and over her head, and suddenly she’s wearing nothing but a bathing-suit-bra and jeans.
I hold my breath.
Her pants come off next. (I feel dirty just saying that.) After she places her shirt by her towel on the beach chair, she turns back to the water. She doesn’t look at me as, ever so slowly, she presses her chin to her collarbone and reaches for her jean zipper. My skin crawls as the zipper slides slowly down, and I feel my face heating by the second. But I can’t look away. I don’t want to look away. I stare at her, the hot sun on my back, as she slides her jeans down her legs and off her body and places them in a neat pile next to her shirt.
Just like that, she’s wearing nothing but her swimsuit. I stare, my eyes wide, unable to look away. I swear to you, two-piece bikinis will be the death of me.
Cat smiles shyly, glancing at her feet and blushing. I’m still staring at her and not even hiding my incredulity. Cat just did that. Took off her clothes in front of me.
Holy shit.
Then, an alarming thought strikes me: why can’t I look away? Does that mean…?
I don’t let myself answer the question.
“Now you,” Cat says, glancing back up at me.
That snaps me back into reality. “Wait, what?” I say. “What do you mean?” My stomach sinks, and all of a sudden, I’m back on edge.
She rolls her eyes. “I mean, now it’s your turn to take off your shirt.”
A knot tightens in my stomach. “But—” I start to say, my mind racing to find an excuse, to think of anything to stop this.
“But? We’re swimming, West. No one wears clothes when they’re swimming.”
I raise my eyebrow at that. Wait, does she mean…
“No one wears shirts, I mean. Jeez, you perv,” she says. Then, Cat’s lips break into a smile and so do mine. Relief washes over me.
“Whatever,” I mumble. “It’s cold. I don’t want to take off my shirt…”
For an instant, nothing happens. Cat just stares at me blankly, and no matter how hard I try I can’t read her expression.
Then, without warning, she breaks into a fit of full-on, amused, in-my-face laughter. “It’s cold? Dude, you’re sweating all over. There is no way in hell you’re too cold right now.” My face flushes harder as I glance back down at my shirt. She’s right. I am sweating all over. I hadn’t even realized, and now I need a new excuse. “I think you’re just scared of my hotness,” Cat adds.
“That’s so not it. Actually,
that’s probably the last possible reason. I just… I don’t want to this time, I guess.”
“Like I’m going to believe that.”
“It’s true!”
“Wimp,” she says.
“Jerk.”
“Freak.”
“Bully.”
Cat shakes her head, suppressing a smile. A few birds fly overhead, and I can hear more splashes somewhere across the lake from people playing, laughing and shouting and being normal, like I wish I could be. “What? Do you need me to take your shirt off for you?” Cat says, still way too amused.
Okay. I think my jaw seriously drops here. “No, no,” I say quickly, jerking my head from side-to-side. “That’s not—”
But Cat isn’t even listening. She’s already stepped forward, her body inches from mine. “Here,” she says, reaching for my T-shirt. “I got it.” I don’t even realize what she’s doing until her fingers wrap around the collar of my shirt and she starts to pull upward. My whole body stiffens, and I feel a million tiny kinds of shock, confusion, and—horrifying enough—excitement wash over me.
Her stomach is pressed against mine, and I can smell her breath, feel her warmth, the overwhelming rush of our closeness. Her fingers work effortlessly, gliding my thin shirt along my stomach, my chest, then over my head. I shiver hard, my whole head a mess of emotions and warnings tangled with desire. For an instant, our eyes lock. She stares at me, hard and strong. I look away immediately, but I can’t hide the blush—or the smile. My whole body feels on fire, and I don’t want her to stop. She keeps dragging my shirt over my head, her thighs touching my thighs, her lips hovering a millimeter away from my own.
I stand there, unmoving, my jaw tight, my skin so hot and cold all at once. Finally, as she tugs the last bit of my shirt off my body, her finger brushes against the hardness my stomach for one beautiful instant, and then she lets go altogether as the shirt comes off. Cat steps back.
My whole body tingles, and I know it’s wrong, but I already miss her touch.
When she finishes, I let out a breath and proceed to gulp in more fresh air. When did it get so freaking hot? Because that’s all I feel now: hot. Burning, actually—still on fire from Cat’s touch.
She folds my shirt perfectly and holds it out for me. All she says is, “Done” as she hands it to me. I give a slight nod. “Um, thanks. You, uh… are good at taking shirts off,” I say, then want to kick myself the second the words roll out of my mouth. What the hell? ‘Good at taking shirts off?’ Who says that?!
Oh my god, I am such an idiot…
Cat raises her eyebrow and laughs far too loudly. “Wow, that was… smooth.”
My cheeks feel hot all over again. “Yeah, um, anyway…”
“Yes. Anyway. We still need to take care of your shorts.”
It takes me a minute to realize what she means by “take care of.”
“Oh! Oh no,” I say, narrowing my eyebrows at her. “No no no. I’m swimming in my shorts. There is no way I’m letting you do that.”
She grins. “I know, and that’s fine for now.” She leans in and whispers, “But I assure you, West Ryder, when I’m done with you, those pants will go flying off.”
Chapter 12
We head to the water a few minutes later. I gasp in a few more strangled breaths of fresh air as if it will somehow help me come to my senses with what just happened. Heat lingers on my face, on my skin, and I feel so buoyant again, so light and giddy.
Cat grabs two beach towels, hands one to me, and we walk down the small boardwalk until we reach the edge and are standing over about six feet deep of lake. The sun is still as strong as it was before, although the breeze has picked up again and the shrieking kids to our right have gone inside.
Sunlight pours its way onto my bare skin, and I shift uncomfortably beside Cat. I’m consciously aware that both of us are half-naked now. We’ve been here, at the lake, so many times before, done this almost every week for the past six months, but it’s different now. Everything is different now. It’s like Cat and I are new people, with new feelings and new…
I turn back to her to keep from finishing the thought. She’s dressed in her red-and-blue bikini and I am wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts, and I realize this is exactly what she had planned.
Talk about manipulative.
“Staring again?” Cat says, biting her lip as she catches my gaze.
“Nope. Just looking out at the water.”
“Liar.”
I shrug. “If you say so.” But really, we both know I’m lying.
“So,” Cat continues, glancing down at the lake. “Who is going in first?”
“I volunteer you,” I say.
She quirks her brow. “Really?”
“Really.”
The water below is so clear and calm that I can see the rocks far below, but as I dip my finger in, I feel just how freezing it really is.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the big strong guy who saves me and goes in first instead?” She laughs as soon as she says it. I shoot her a look. “Sorry,” she says, holding up her hands, “I just can’t call you ‘big and strong’ with a straight face.”
I glare at her. “I’ll have you know, I’m incredibly muscular. Girls practically cling to my side.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Oh yeah.”
“We’ll see about that,” she says, and before I realize what’s going on, I feel a force at my side. The next thing I know Cat’s hand is on my bare stomach as she shoves me off the boardwalk and deep into the water. For an instant, there is nothing but stillness and warmth from Cat’s touch, and I feel like I’m hovering above the lake. The next thing I know, though, I plummet to the ground. My body breaks the surface instantly, and all of a sudden, I’m submerged in six feet of ice-cold water. I sputter my way to the surface, laughing and gasping for breath, and a fit of shivers comes over me.
“You,” I say to Cat, who is still standing on the boardwalk a few feet above. “You’re done.”
She sticks her tongue out at me. “Oh really?”
I take another breath, and the coolness of the water seems to wash away everything from before. Suddenly, it’s just me and Cat, just two best friends playing at the lake like old times. “Yes really,” I say. “You’re coming in here with me.”
I reach up a hand to pull her down after me, but she’s already started running away, laughing and pointing at me and skidding down the boardwalk. My lips break into a smile, and with a grunt I pull myself up out of the water, swing my body onto the boardwalk, stand up, and chase after her.
“You’ll never catch me!” Cat shouts, leaps off the boardwalk, and makes her way over to the beach chair.
A trail of water flies behind me as I maneuver after her. “Oh, Red Velvet, you innocent little thing. I am not leaving until you’re as soaked as I am.”
I leap off the boardwalk after Cat, whose blue eyes are wider and more full of life than I’ve seen in the longest time. I’m a few feet away from her now, so I lunge for her arm, but she’s too fast. She wriggles past my grip, grinning like an idiot, and sprints in the opposite direction back down the boardwalk.
I smile, dip my head, and chase her.
“Aren’t we not supposed to run on the boardwalk or something?” I call after her.
She doesn’t turn back to me. “Screw it!” she says. “Society can suck it!” My grin spreads.
It takes another minute of running before she reaches the end of the boardwalk and turns around, nowhere to go.
“Well, well,” I say, stepping toward her, more water dripping off my body. Cat stands only a few yards away from me, pinned against the end of the boardwalk, with nothing but me and the lake on either side of her. “I told you you’re done for.”
Her smile is so big it makes my heart seriously skip a beat. “I wouldn’t be too sure,” she says. “With your agility, you’ll probably dive for me, miss, and fall into the water instead.”
“Would you want to bet
on that?” I edge even closer to her now. If I wanted to, I could reach out and touch her again, feel the awe-inspiring warmth of her skin on mine.
She tosses her red hair to the side. “Oh, believe me, I do.”
“Good,” I say softly, bending my knees and locking my eyes with hers. “Because I’m winning this round.”
She lets out a shrill scream as I lunge at her, arms outstretched. My body flies into hers a second later, and my arms wrap around her waist as we plummet off the edge of the boardwalk and into the lake.
Together.
As one.
My arms are still around her even after we hit the water with a loud crack, and a shock of icy coldness comes over us. Finally, we break apart, Cat slipping out of my grip as she swims to the surface. Underwater, her hair streams everywhere, hitting my face and causing me to laugh. I swim up after her.
When we both break the surface, she giggles, gasping for air, and I smile between pants. “You asshole!” she screams and sends me a playful punch.
I laugh, wrapping my arms back around her almost instinctually. “Guilty as charged,” I say. The sun has already begun warming us again, a stark contrast from the freezing water, and everything is so, so perfect. My smile keeps getting broader.
I’m still scared, though. Scared of how I keep feeling these things for Cat, keep wanting to touch her—scared of what it means. I mean, yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know what it means. But I don’t want it to mean what it means. I want to be Cat’s friend and only her friend. If I fall for her, there’s a good chance we’ll both fuck it up and even better chance we’ll split apart for good. I care about her too much to let her go that easily, to risk losing her because of some stupid mix of emotions that I myself don’t even understand.
I turn back to Cat. She is watching me as she bobs in the water at my side, but that smile of hers does not falter. Her hair is soaked and she looks like she’s going to yell at me, and I just watch her, suppressing a laugh. “Idiot! You are an idiot!” she screams.
“Really? Like when I do this?” I bring my hands down on the lake, sending a thick spray of water right into her face.
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