by Trio, L. M.
“I love it. I like the red, white and blue beaded ties. Perfect for the fourth.”
“Stop avoiding... So, what do you think about Billy?” she asks after she pays and we leave the store.
“I have to tell you something and it’s really embarrassing, especially considering that I’m going to be a junior this year.” I pause, not wanting to shock the poor girl once again, but she encourages me to continue. “I’m nervous. I’ve never dated anyone... And, I’ve never kissed a boy before.” God, she must think I am such a loser.
“Really? Not even spin the bottle when you were younger?” she asks, surprised.
“Nope. I always sat out. I told you, I was really shy. My friends at the time had just started dating, I wasn’t quite there yet and then… you know... which takes me to now... being a total outcast... I think I would scare any guy away if he knew this.”
“You’re being silly. No one has to know. It’s not that big a deal. Billy likes you, he’s clueless anyway. He would never even notice. Don’t worry about that kind of JJ,” she says reassuringly.
“I don’t know. I’m really embarrassed about this. Besides, he’s a friend. Shouldn’t that be a no-no, to hook up with your friends?”
“How do you think Matt and Lori got together? They were friends first. Billy’s really easy going, if you decided you didn’t like him in a boyfriend kind of way, he wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“Scared? Scared of what? It’s a kiss for God’s sake. Get it over with. How about one of these Shoobies? You’ll never have to see them again. That’s pretty much how we all got our first kiss, even the guys,” she says, pointing to a group of teenagers standing to our right, calling for us to come over.
“Maybe, but not tonight,” I say laughing, pushing her along as we keep walking.
“Okay, I’ll back off for tonight, but I don’t want you worrying about this all summer. I know how you are. Once you get over that first hump, you’re fine. The first day at the beach, coming out tonight... you’re having fun, right?” She smiles.
I nod my head, knowing that she’s right. I spend more time worrying about things before I actually do them. Once it’s over with, I almost forget why I was so nervous in the first place. These last few days have been a blast!
***
I am woken by the pelting of the rain drops hitting my window. Normally, I don’t mind sleeping in on a weekend, but not today. It’s one of the last mornings I have left to spend with Luke at the docks.
Later that evening, while at their house, we play cards while we watch the Phillies’ game on TV. I partner up with Deanna since I am the only one who never played poker before. I love being at their house, but sometimes it makes me miss my mom. I like when everyone is sitting around together, having a good time. I miss that at my house. The three of us always had fun together. My dad’s great, he tries so hard, but it’s not complete without my mom there.
After we finish playing, De and I hang out in her room for a while. As I am about to leave, she gets a call from Timmy. She was going to walk me out, but I tell her to stay on the phone.
I poke my head in the family room to say good-bye. Lucca and Mikey are asleep. Maria is reading and Luke is watching the Sports Channel, about to fall asleep.
“Luciano, walk JJ across the street, make sure she gets in okay. I don’t like her walking into an empty house by herself,” Maria says, knowing my dad is working.
“Yeah, sure,” he says, rising from the chair.
“I’m fine, really. Don’t get up. I’ll call when I’m in.” He looks comfortable and I don’t want to disturb him.
“JJ, really… it’s not a big deal,” he says while Maria agrees.
The rain has finally stopped and the sky is lit up by the millions of stars twinkling in the sky. Good sign. It’s probably going to be a nice day as predicted tomorrow. He must be thinking the same thing.
“Finally, it stopped raining... Hey, JJ, did you ever get a chance to check the docks out at night?” he asks enthusiastically as we cross the street towards my house.
I shake my head that I did not and he insists that I have to check it out with him before he leaves. He says it will be a great night, especially since it just rained.
He can’t have been more right, the smell of the rain mixes with the salt air at night is amazing. He takes off his hoodie and places it on the edge of the dock, covering up the wet boards so that we can sit quietly with our legs dangling over the water, taking in the sweet smell and the calmness of the bay watching the millions of stars shimmering down over the water. It is so beautiful.
“Great, isn’t it?” he asks while watching me closely to make sure I’m taking it all in.
“Really great,” I reply, taking a breath and giving him a smile.
We sit there silently for what seems like forever until I suggest that we should probably head back. “We better get going, they’ll be wondering what happened to you.”
“What do ya mean? I’m with you,” he says innocently.
Funny how we’re on the same page with almost everything else, but yet, he doesn’t get why I’m concerned that he’s supposed to be walking me across the street and he’s been gone for over fifteen minutes. I start to get up and he follows.
“What did you think?” he asks cheerfully.
“Better than what you described,” I answer excitedly. “I’m going to wait for you to get back so you can show me the beach at night. I like going with you.” I’m comfortable enough with him now that I can admit these things to him.
“Yeah, me, too. I always thought it was best when I was alone, but I don’t mind when you’re there. It’s cool because you get it, like I do. You don’t need to talk the whole time, either.”
“It would ruin the moment. You wouldn’t be able to take in all of the different sounds and smells if we talked the whole time,” I answer.
“Exactly,” he agrees, laughing at our quirkiness.
“Thanks, Luke,” I say as we reach my house.
“I’m just going to come in for a sec to make sure everything’s okay.”
I open the door, and then walk around the house, checking all the doors while he follows, practically on my heels, to make sure everything is locked. “Okay, I’m safe,” I say, turning around and almost bumping into him.
“Do you want me to wait till David gets home?” he asks with concern. I sort of get the feeling he is looking for an excuse to stay, but, then again, maybe it’s just me hoping for an excuse to keep him here.
“No, I’m fine. He should be home soon. I’ll keep the phone right next to me. If I need ya, I’ll call.” I grin.
“Alright, I’ll see you bright and early?”
“Yep, bright and early,” I reply, walking him to the door.
***
The stars didn’t disappoint; it’s a perfect morning. I hurry out to the docks at the crack of dawn. I know this will be our last morning together for a while and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. Luke is already there when I arrive.
“Hey,” he says, turning to greet me.
“Hi.” I sit down on the bench next to him.
I’ve been learning quite a bit about this whole baseball thing lately as we discuss his upcoming trip. Professional and college scouts will be watching them at the tournaments. He’s already been approached by numerous colleges like South Carolina, Florida State and Miami. Most likely, he’ll sign a commitment letter to one of them come fall, but since they’re entering the draft in June, he’ll need to decide whether to pass up college if he’s a high draft pick. Then, he’ll sign with a MLB team. Mikey’s facing the same decisions. An advisor helps them with this whole process to help them make the best decision. Up until I had learned all of this, I didn’t realize how much they actually have riding on this game. He’s usually so serious when we talk about baseball in the morning, not his usual goofy self. He loves it so much and talks about it so passionately. I tel
l him how I can’t wait to watch them play in the spring.
“I’m going to hold you to it, you better be at every game,” he says as he leans in to me.
“I will. I can’t wait. I need to see for myself if you’re as good as you think you are,” I tease, leaning back into him.
“Great, one more person to judge me... just what I need,” he says sarcastically. “It gets crazy, you’ll see. Tons of scouts will be at every game watching us, waiting to see if we screw up.” I laugh along with him, knowing he is partly joking.
He then switches subjects and brings up a topic we usually never discuss. “So what are your plans for the rest of the summer? Are you seeing Billy Lidell or what?”
I’m not prepared for this change of topic. We never talk about boyfriend-girlfriend stuff, not that I have anything to talk about, but I never ask questions about Alexa or any other girl I’ve seen him with. “No, we’re just friends... for now,” I add.
“Oh… for now? What does that mean? Things may change soon?” he asks curiously.
“I don’t know... we’ll see. He’s nice. What do you think?” I might as well get his opinion. Besides, he’s always dropping his little comments about Billy. He might as well spit out whatever is on his mind.
He shifts uneasily in his seat at the question then he arrogantly shrugs it off. “I’m just kiddin’ with you. Do what you want; he’s a nice kid... doesn’t matter to me.” He acts as if he doesn’t care one way or the other what I do.
“All right, Luke; whatever. I have to go. You’re the one that asked.” I get up to leave and turn to walk away. “I don’t get this game you play.” I mumble under my breath, annoyed at his split personality lately.
“Wait… come back. I’m playin’ around. Don’t leave mad. I’m not goin’ to see ya for a while,” he pleads, trying to make me feel bad, but, this time, I’m not giving in.
“I’m not mad. You just confuse me. You brought it up so I asked your opinion,” I say as I continue to walk away.
Chapter 12(Jesse)
Deanna and I want to get in a day of tanning before heading to the inlet. She’s looking forward to her date with Timmy and I’m excited about tonight, too. They’ve been building up this party all week and this will be my first time at the inlet.
“JJ, what are you going to do about Billy tonight? I have to warn you, he’s going to try to make his move. It’s a night where you see a lot of people coupling off to watch the fireworks.”
Once again, panic sets in. “I’m not sure; don’t make me nervous about it. I was just thinking, how I was excited to go out tonight. Now, I’m having second thoughts.”
She laughs. “JJ, don’t get nervous; that’s silly. I’m sorry. Not everyone pairs off, but a lot do and I’m just saying... I know what’s going to be going through his mind. He likes you.”
“I know. I’m just nervous. I’ll see how it goes. Thanks for the warning, at least I won’t be blindsided.”
“That’s why I mentioned it. I just want you to have fun tonight. You’re doing great... everybody likes you.”
“Thanks. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but there are times when I look around at how everyone is so comfortable with each other; it looks so easy for them. I feel so different. I feel like I have to try so hard to fit in. I’ve missed so much.”
My dad calls out from the house. “I have to leave for work! I made you girls lunch, it’s in the fridge! Have fun tonight and be careful. Call me when you get in!”
We both answer. “Ok, thanks. See you later.” I add, “I love ya.”
“Love you, too, Sweetie.”
“Your dad’s a good guy, JJ. He takes good care of you.”
“Yeah, he’s the best. He’s been through a lot and if losing my mom wasn’t bad enough, I put him through more hell. I worry about him. I feel like I’m doing better than he is right now. I’ve put myself back out there, but he only has work and me. We both miss her so much. That’s why I love being with you and your family. You have fun together. We used to be the same way... I just want him to be happy again.”
“He’ll be okay. He loves taking care of you. That makes him happy,” De says, patting my hand.
***
De chooses my outfit for tonight. It’s something she picked out the day we went shopping. I haven’t worn it yet, but I like it. The top is blue, sort of a halter style, but instead of having ties around the neck, the material gathers around a thick silver necklace that hooks behind my neck. It is really pretty, a little much for me, but I feel like being a little daring tonight. She matches it up with a pair of white shorts, trying to stick with the Fourth of July theme.
Deanna wants me to stop by her house when I’m done so that she could, “put the finishing touches on,” as she said. Once again, I’m feeling anxious and excited. My stomach has butterflies, which in turn reminds me of my “sort of” argument with Luke this morning. That was our last time alone together, at least for a while, and we parted on a bad note. No big deal, I’ll see him tonight, I’ll be sure to let him know I’m not angry with him.
After my shower, I pay extra attention to fixing my hair. I add a little hair product then leave it long and wavy. I actually think I did a pretty good job. As I get dressed, I begin to second guess the outfit because I’m not sure I can pull it off; it’s not something I would normally wear. I mean, I love the front, it fits loosely and drapes over the sides of my chest, but it totally leaves the sides of my body and back exposed. It’s really, really pretty, though.
I can do this. I need to loosen up a little, right? I make such a big deal of small things. Anyone else would be dressed and out the door by now. De wouldn’t think twice about wearing something like this and I’m always admiring her clothes, I think to myself while studying the unfamiliar image in front of me. Okay... let me grab my sunglasses. For some reason, they give me more confidence. I like to think people can’t see me or something. I know. I’m crazy.
As I’m crossing the street, walking up to De’s house, Mikey is pulling into the driveway with a girl in the front seat. His window is down and he lets out a loud whistle from the car.
“Shut up, Mikey; don’t start!” I yell at about the same time Luke is walking out the door.
Mikey continues laughing. “Wow! Look at you, whatta ya have a date tonight?”
Now Luke is staring at me. “Okay… don’t you start, too,” I gripe. “I’m already feeling uneasy.”
“I didn’t say anything… you’re already pissed at me,” he says innocently while staring at me. Then, he abruptly turns and heads back into the house.
“Where are you goin’?” Mikey calls out to him.
“To get a sweatshirt.”
“For what? It’s a hundred degrees,” Mikey exaggerates.
“For her. She’s going to need it,” Luke answers, nodding in my direction.
I can hear Mikey laughing as I push past Luke and run up to De’s room. I’m already feeling uncomfortable and the last thing I need is them busting on me.
“You look awesome! What’s wrong? Why are you so flushed? Are you okay?” Deanna asks with concern as I sit down on her bed.
She looks beautiful as usual. “How do you manage to pull it off and always seem so confident?”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“I just ran in to Mikey and Luke outside. Mikey whistled and asked if I had a date, and Luke said he was bringing me a sweatshirt. This is way too much for me, right? I look like I’m trying too hard. I’m not comfortable. Should I go change?” I’m rambling.
She starts laughing, “Absolutely not! You look fabulous and it’s a good thing you got that reaction from them!”
“I don’t know... my stomach’s sick.”
“You’re fine. Sit down. Put these on.” She hands me a pair of silver hoop earrings. “I’m just going to pluck your eyebrows a little. It won’t hurt and I’m going to add a tiny bit of translucent eye shadow to your eyes, so you won’t really see it, but
when you close your eyes it will add a touch of sparkle. Okay, now a bit of liner and mascara and a touch of lip gloss.” She says excitedly as she lightly applies everything. “There… Perfect. You don’t need much make-up. You’re naturally pretty, but this is nice for night time because it will bring out your eyes and lips a little more...What do you think?”
I try to sound enthusiastic, but the nerves are setting in. “It looks nice, thanks.”
***
It is a ten minute walk to the inlet. Once there, we follow a long almost hidden path, man-made by local teens throughout the years, leading to the wide open beach surrounded by the greenish-blue water, gently washing ashore. About halfway through the woods, the smell of a fire pit and the sounds of music fill the air. You can see crowds of kids playing wiffleball, horseshoes and volleyball. Guys toss around footballs while girls stand around and talk.
When we finally reach the beach, we immediately run into Luke right off the bat we run into Luke, Mikey and the rest of their friends playing horseshoes. Most of them say ‘Hi’ to Deanna as we pass.
Luke calls me over. “Hey, Jess, come here for a sec.” I am going to kill them both if they embarrass me in front of everyone. I hesitantly walked over as Luke continues, “I caught a lot of flak, for not introducing you to everyone at the beach the other day.” “Okay, that’s something I can deal with. “This is Steve, Zach, Chris, and Rob. And, this is… Jesse. She moved here from Philly at the end of the school year. She lives across the street from us.”
“Nice to meet you,” I answer quietly and give him a smile for remembering to introduce me as Jesse.
He winks. Ah... butterflies. De pulls my arm. They both know I don’t like to be bombarded by people all at once. I’m always afraid of what questions I may be asked. I don’t want to get caught off guard.
“Those guys are from their team. I wanted to get you out of there before they attacked and, from the look on Luke’s face, he was thinking the same thing,” Deanna says as we say our goodbyes.
