by Trio, L. M.
I hate him right now. Looking all cocky, wearing his sunglasses with his perfect body and this perfect new girl. He continues to walk past us without acknowledgment. He acts as if he doesn’t see us. Well, maybe he doesn’t, he is busy laughing with her. He doesn’t seem to be in a bad mood anymore. They sit a few feet in front of us, close to the water. I find myself hoping a giant wave will wash them away. I’m wearing my sunglasses, so I can spy and no one will be able to tell. Ah, how I’ve missed torturing myself.
Oh... and he is putting on quite a show. Paying way too much attention to her. He finally pulls himself away long enough to talk to Mikey for a minute, but as soon as Mikey glances over in my direction, Luke goes back to his brunette. That’s it. My mind is made up I’m going to approach him. Thank goodness all of my friends are occupied with other things. No one notices that I have been sitting here for the last hour fighting with him in my head. Finally, he leaves the girl’s side and heads towards the water. I get up, hurrying to catch up with him.
“Hey, Luke. Can I talk to you for a second?” God, I’m brave. I don’t know where I suddenly got my nerve.
He looks shocked and I can’t help but to feel glad that I caught him off guard. I’m sure he doesn’t think I have it in me. “What’s up?” he asks coolly, barely acknowledging me.
“Where were you this morning? I thought you were going to meet me. I waited a really long time.”
“Busy,” he states flatly, with no further explanation.
“Look, I don’t know what your problem is. Are you annoyed at me for some reason?”
“Nope… not at all,” he answers coldly, stepping up his pace.
“Then, what’s wrong? Everything seemed fine when you left. I thought we were friends?” I ask, trying to keep up with his long strides.
“Yep, friends,” he emphasizes coolly as he slowly turns to look at me… or… look through me.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Luke? I haven’t seen you in a month and a half. What’s with the attitude?”
“Well, J, you look like you have a lot of friends now, so go be with them. Uh… look… here comes another one. Go,” he says dismissively, shooing me away like a dog.
He walks away, leaving me standing alone. Wow, he crushed me. I feel my eyes starting to well up. As I turn to walk away I see John heading right towards me.
“Hey, you didn’t call,” he says cheerfully, giving me a peck on the cheek.
“Sorry. I forgot,” I say guiltily, suddenly changing my mood. I should be glad John is here. Why waste my time on someone who doesn’t care enough to give me the time of day? I think as I pull myself back together.
As much as I try, I can’t help but get angrier and angrier the more I watch Luke acting so smug. I can play this game, too, I think to myself. Now I’m almost certain his attitude is aimed personally at me.
“John, do you want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah, sure,” he agrees easily.
We hold hands while we walk towards the water. I make sure I walk directly past Luke and the brunette, practically stepping on their blanket. I also make sure it seems as if I’m having just as much fun as him, laughing as the cold foamy waves wash over my feet while I hold tightly onto John’s arm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect when Mikey makes his way towards us, right in front of Luke. “Hey, Mikey, did you meet John?” I blurt out, loud enough for Luke to hear. “Uh, no, I didn’t,” he answers, seeming taken back by my sudden boldness. “This is my boyfriend, John,” John puts out his hand. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Luke’s head whip around and his eyes dart up. “Mikey’s a friend of Deanna’s... and my neighbor, Luke, who you met last night,” I say, pointing down at Luke as if he is no one important. If looks could kill, I would be dead from Luke’s glare. Mikey and John exchange handshakes then Mikey looks from me over to Luke. I immediately start to regret my actions. After the introductions, I quickly take John’s hand and continue to walk down the beach. What was I thinking? I can’t believe I just introduced him as my boyfriend. That is so not cool, and it isn’t fair to John to drag him into whatever this is between me and Luke. I’m hoping John doesn’t read too much into it because I already feel like crap for using him this way. I like him, but, by no means, do I consider him a boyfriend.
Chapter 18(Jesse)
Stepping into the crowded corridor of Bay Point High, I am overwhelmed by the size of the school and the amount of people spilling into the hallways. Deanna laughs off my insecurities, reminding me, once again, that every time I’ve done something for the first time since she has met me, my first instinct is to panic and, in the end, everything turns out to be fine.
We are supposed to meet Timmy outside of the locker room by the gymnasium. The football team and some of the other athletes arrive at school early to work out in the weight room before classes begin. I make her promise that she will not make me late for class on my first day.
I’m focused on untangling De’s hair, which has gotten caught in her necklace, when Luke unexpectedly walks out of the weight room. “Hey, Luke. Is Timmy still in there?” De asks. Startled, by the mention of his name, I glance up. We haven’t spoken a word to each other since that day on the beach. He avoids me at all cost.
“Yeah, he’s in there. He should be out in a couple of minutes,” he says as he walks past us and enters the locker room.
A loud whistle comes from the direction of the weight room. Of course, we both know who it comes from.
“Look at this, the two best looking girls in the school. You must be waiting for me!” Mikey teases as he exits the room. De and I laugh.
Timmy walks out behind him. The look on his face says that he doesn’t seem to think Mikey’s as funny as we do.
“I think they might be waiting for me,” he says quietly. He is too nice for the phrase to sound arrogant.
I’ve come to realize that Mikey isn’t a big fan of his, either. “See you girls later.” He enters the locker room just as Luke is walking out.
“Hey, Luke, can you take JJ to her math class? She’s not sure where she’s going,” De asks.
I want to kill her. I can’t believe she just did that to me. I know it isn’t on purpose; I don’t think she even realizes that we are not on speaking terms.
“Yeah, sure,” he replies as if she just asked him to go pick up horse shit. He turns, hardly looking at me. “Where ya goin’?”
“Geometry. C-7.” My voice cracks. I think I’m about to cry. I’m nervous enough, without having Luke ignore me as he is forced to walk me to class.
“This way,” he says, leading the way, walking fast. “You just need to look on the corners of the walls. See, each hall has a small letter on the end. That’s A. B is over there. And C is this way. You’ll get used to it in a day or two,” he says dryly.
Everyone greets him in the hallways. I walk slightly a step behind and I nod as he points out the different halls, I don’t say a word. I think if I talk, I will cry. I have that feeling in my throat, the one where you’re trying to hold back from crying because you don’t want anyone to know how scared you are. We reach my class rather quickly.
“You’re here.” He’s emotionless as he points to the room, sounding relieved to get rid of me.
“Okay, thanks.” I manage to get past the lump in my throat. I look at the classroom full of kids staring at me, the new kid, as I pause in the doorway.
He must have noticed my anxiety because he eases up slightly on the attitude. “JJ, look, D is over there. At the end, is E, then F.” He points in the direction of the different hallways, giving me a rundown of the layout of the school.
“Got it,” I whisper to myself, glued to the same spot, unable to make my legs move forward. I take a deep breath.
“Are you goin’ to go in or what?” he says, waiting. I nod and take a step forward. “Wait.” He stops me. “Let me see your schedule.” He takes the crumpled paper from my sweaty hand. “Okay, next period you have English, E-6. Wait here whe
n your class is over. I’ll come back to get you... Oh, we both have the same Study Hall, third period; that’s in the cafeteria.” He hands me back my schedule and turns to go, motioning his hand for me to go into the class.
I find the closest seat to the door and sit down. The teacher goes over the syllabus for the class and we do a quick review of the course. When the bell rings, I jump from my seat and enter the hallway; I glance up and down the hall through the crowds of kids, looking for Luke. I’m about to give up when I see him turn the corner, pushing his way through the mob, heading towards me.
“You okay?” he asks. This time he’s finally looking into my eyes. This in turn makes me more upset so I only nod. “You look scared to death,” he says as we begin to walk.
“I am. It’s the first time I’ve been to school in two years, remember?” He nods, looking at me sympathetically. “And, I went to Catholic school, so we pretty much all looked the same. This is really scary to me.” As much as I try to force it back, I can feel the tears build up in the corner of my eyes.
“I remember,” he says sympathetically, stopping me while he dabs his thumb at the corner of my eye. “You’re doing just fine. Relax.” He offers me a smile while looking into my eyes.
I take a deep breath, feeling somewhat better as we continue walking to my English class. It seems as if every person in the hallway high fives him as they walk past. I take note of the girls eyeing me up, probably wondering who I am and wondering why he is with me.
“I’ll meet you here when the bell rings, I’ll walk you to Study Hall,” he says as he drops me off at the door.
“Okay.”
“Breathe,” he says as he mimics taking a deep breath.
I smile and exaggerate taking a deep breath.
My English teacher keeps us longer than the bell. When he opens the door, Luke is waiting outside. I’m curious about Study Hall. Luke says usually the seats aren’t assigned and you’re free to sit wherever you choose. As soon as we enter the cafeteria, a cute girl with big brown eyes and a stylish haircut walks up to him. It’s probably his new girl of the week, I think as he introduces us. “Jess, this is Crystal...Crystal, this is Jesse… my neighbor.” He sounds sarcastic as he gives me a smirk.
I don’t miss that he emphasizes the, my neighbor part. Point taken. We say hello to each other and then she begins to pull him away to sit with her and a couple of other people I guess are friends of theirs. As I am about to walk over to an empty table, Luke walks up behind me.
“What are you doing? Come sit with me.”
“That’s okay, Luke, really, you don’t have to...” I start.
“J, c’mon, you’re not sitting by yourself.” He pulls me by my arm and kicks out the chair next to him with his foot. I would have preferred to sit by myself than having to sit with him, his new girlfriend, and the rest of their friends, but at least, we are speaking again. I don’t join in on their conversation. Instead, I take out my English book and pretend to read. Actually, I'm listening in on their conversation and watching the clock, waiting for the period to end. Finally, when it does, I jump out of my seat and turn to leave. Luke remains sitting, still talking with everyone, but quickly turns around and tugs lightly on the side of my shirt.
He looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes. “Hey, do you want me to walk you?”
“No, I’m good. I know where I’m going. Thanks,” I say giving him a smile. It almost looks as if he hesitates on whether he should go with me or not, but, in the end, he stays with his friends.
I walk through the crowded hall by myself, trying to trace back my earlier steps. I’m almost near E when I see Billy. “Hey, Jesse, how’s your first day?”
“Hey, Billy, it’s okay. I’m just trying to remember my way around.” I can’t help being happy to see a familiar face.
“Where are you heading?” he asks while pulling the crumbled schedule from my hand.
“History. E-2.”
“Cool. Me, too.” We walk the rest of the way together. It feels good to have a friend in one of my classes. Billy sits behind me in class and taps me every two seconds to talk. Great, first day and he’s going to get me in trouble already.
Thankfully, I have the same lunch period as Lori and Matt. She waits for me outside the cafeteria to show me to our table. She introduces me to some of the kids who I have yet to meet, although I do recognize a few from the beach. I feel more comfortable at this table than I did earlier at the table in Study Hall.
The highlight of the day, besides talking with Luke, is my Art class. It’s the one class I’m most excited about. Being tutored at home, I missed out on studying Art. Mr. Collier, my new teacher, has a lot of experience. His work has been in several shows and museums. When he is not teaching, he spends his time attending shows and galleries throughout the United States, Europe and Japan. It sounds exciting.
The last period of the day is gym, which I am lucky enough to have with Deanna. We are looking forward to it, until we see that Alexa has gym the same period. Thankfully, she has a different teacher, but we still have to share the same locker room. For some reason, she glares at me as if her eyes were daggers. I look away, but De glares back.
“What’s her problem?” De asks. I shrug because I really don’t know. To be honest, I haven’t seen her around much lately. De sees her more than me, since they both practice together for cheerleading.
At the end of the day, De and I are standing outside the girls’ locker room talking when Mikey and Luke come walking down the hall. “Did you two ever move or are you still here from this morning?” Mikey teases as he walks over to us.
Luke glances over. “Hey, JJ, how was the rest of your day, did you find everything?”
“Yeah, I did. Thanks.” He gives me a slight smile and enters the locker room.
***
By the time I arrive home, my dad is waiting to hear about my first day. I tell him what he wants to hear, about how much I like the school. I leave out the part about being scared to death. I don’t like to worry him. He has prepared a special dinner since he doesn’t have to work and then after, we sit around and watch some TV together. I wait for him to fall asleep, as he usually does after dinner, and then I head over to De’s.
I have grown familiar with the smell of a fresh pot of coffee being brewed after dinner when I enter De’s house. Maria has made a chocolate cake for dessert. I love being at their house and sitting here like this. I feel like they are my family, that’s why I wish these strange feelings I have for Luke would go away. I want to go back to the way things were.
It isn’t long before Luke and Mikey come walking in through the kitchen. “What smells good?” Mikey asks.
“I made a chocolate cake; it’s over there on the counter.” Maria points.
“Awesome,” Mikey responds as he helps himself to a piece.
Luke gets out the milk and pours him and Mikey a glass, not seeming as enthusiastic as Mikey to see us. “Where’s Dad?” he asks.
Maria answers, “He’s in the other room, watching the game.”
Luke cuts himself a piece of cake and goes into the other room with Lucca. Mikey stays with us and sits at the counter. “So, what’s up? What are we talking about?” he asks jokingly, of course.
“School. Where were you guys?” De asks him.
“At the cages,” he answers.
De laughs. “I don’t even know why I ask, I figured as much. If you’re not picking up girls, you’re doing something with baseball. You two are so predictable.”
He teases back, “Oh, really. What’s it matter to you anyway? Does it bother you or something?”
“I could care less,” she shoots back. Then, her phone rings. “Wait, it’s Timmy.” She holds up a finger to shush him for a second.
“I’m outta here,” Mikey says sarcastically, picking up his plate and walking into the other room.
Maria rises to clear the plates from the table. “Ah, them two... someday.” She shakes her head as she refers t
o De and Mikey as if I know what she means. De is on the phone, busy talking to Timmy, not listening to our conversation. “You all will get it straightened out someday,” she says as she pats the top of my head.
I get up to clear the dishes with her, I want to ask her what she means, but I don’t. “Maria, go sit, I’ll do the dishes.” She goes in the other room to watch TV with the boys, while I mull over what she said.
After Deanna finishes with her call, we go up to her room. I want to ask about her and Mikey. Was there more to them than just being friends? Is that what Maria meant?
“De, how are things going with Timmy? Are you serious about him? I know you really like him, but you know what I mean.”
“I don’t know, I guess. It’s not like I would see anyone else right now. We are just taking things really slow. Timmy is shy... quiet. He’s not in any rush and I’m fine with that. That’s why I like him so much. I know he likes me, and he’s happy right now just spending time with me, and that makes me happy.”
“I’m happy for you... Why doesn’t Mikey seem to like him?”
“He’s just being Mikey; he’s a little overprotective, I guess.”
“What does Luke think of him?”
“Honestly, I think they both like him; they know he’s really a nice guy. He has a good reputation, not like some of the jerks I’ve dated in the past. Mikey just seems more protective because he knows a little more about that than Luke does.”
“What do you mean?” She has me curious now. Deanna doesn’t talk much about her previous relationships. I know she dated before, but she always makes it sound like she never really got serious about anyone.
“Remember when I told you I had made a lot of mistakes last year? That I wish sometimes that I could have erase my sophomore year?”
“I remember.”
“I told you about when I started to hang around with Alexa. I sort of dumped all my other friends. I’m actually surprised they took me back when I finally came around. Anyway, she was popular, so that made me popular. I was only a Sophomore, but I was hanging around with all the Juniors with her. I started to date this jerk, Paul Simpson; he was really popular and an awesome football player. At the time, I guess I was impressed by that. The thing is, everyone knew he was a jerk, even me. Like I said, though, he was popular and a lot of girls liked him. Alexa was hooking up with his friend so she fixed me up with him. It was around the end of November, the season was just coming to an end when we started dating. I was only seeing him a short while, but it was always the same thing; every time we were alone he would push and push wanting to take things further and further. I wasn’t comfortable with it, but I kept letting him go further and further.”
