by Trio, L. M.
“Whatever you want. Are you okay with walking up together?” he asks.
I probably wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t tipsy, but I am, so I really don’t care. I’m just so happy he’s here. “I’ll just say I ran in to you on the stairs. It’s not really a lie.” I grab his hand and pull him towards the steps.
He pulls me back and brushes a piece of hair away from my face. “We need to talk. I would like a few minutes alone, okay?” He looks serious.
“Okay” is all I say as we head for the stairs. My heart is pounding and I have a million things going through my mind. Is this good? Is this bad? I need to talk to Deanna. I can’t keep doing this without her knowing.
Luke is practically on my heels when we meet up with everyone. They are busy snapping pictures of each other with their cell phones and having a good time. Then, it feels as if everyone turns to look at me as if to say, where have you been? But, then they spot Luke standing directly behind me, his hands resting on my waist and think, Oh, that’s where.
“Look who I found,” I say, trying to act as if it is normal he’s here with us. I then make my rounds to kiss everyone and wish them a Happy New Year.
Deanna doesn’t seem surprised to see Luke. She walks over to give us each a hug and wish us a Happy New Year. She seems a little more concerned as to whether or not he came with Mikey. I can’t be sure, but she looks a little disappointed when Luke tells her he stayed with Megan at CJ’s. Cathy walks up, tells Luke and I to smile and snaps a picture. I know what I have to do, even though the timing isn’t what I have planned.
“Will you come to the bathroom with me for a sec? I need to talk to you about something,” I whisper to Deanna.
Once in the bathroom, I have to confess. The first couple of times Luke and I have kissed, I didn’t mind keeping it to myself because I swore it would never happen again, but since Christmas Eve and now tonight, it is becoming more obvious. I need to clear my conscience with Deanna before I have my talk with Luke.
“De, I need to talk to you about L-L-Luke,” I stutter.
“What about?” she asks, seeming amused.
“Well, you know how much you both mean to me, right?” She nods. “Lately, things have been starting to change with Luke, it’s different… a good different, I think... I don’t know… I’m just really confused.” She is still nodding, waiting for me to spit it out. “I think... he’s feeling like this, too... but I don’t want to ruin any of our friendships and I just really, really needed to talk to you about it. I’ve been wanting to for a while, but I’m so scared.” Tears start to well up in my eyes and one falls down my cheek. I’m looking at her, trying to figure out the expression on her face. I was expecting her to be angry, but it isn’t the vibe I am getting.
“Oh, my God, JJ. Why are you so upset?” she asks, resting her hands on my shoulders.
“I don’t want you to be upset with me,” I say as more tears follow.
She smiles. “First of all, I already know how Luke feels about you and, if you are feeling the same way about him, then I’m happy about it. You can always come to me with anything. I hope you know that... Why the hell are you crying?”
A few more tears stream down my face. “But, it’s your brother... Do you hate me?” I blurt out.
“Hate you? Why would I hate you? I’d rather him be with someone I care about than some tramp,” she jokes as she hugs me. “You are just what he needs. You’ll be good for him and, I have to say, I think he will be good for you, too. God knows no one else is! You open up to him and he’s the same way with you.”
I’m feeling relief and panic at the same time. Relief, because it is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders talking to Deanna about this and panic because now it’s more real; I don’t have any excuse to back away.
“Thanks. He said he wanted to talk to me tonight, I’m not sure about what, but I needed to talk with you first about this.”
“Good, then you two go talk and keep him away from me,” she jokes. “Timmy got us our own room tonight. It’s our first night alone. Having my brother there might put a damper on things.”
“Luke has Mikey’s car. He hasn’t had anything to drink, so I don’t think he’s planning on staying.”
“We’d better get back before they both think we ditched them. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”
As we make our way through the crowd, the party is winding down. It seems like everyone at the party has rooms booked at the hotel. Luke is talking with some kids he knows from school while Cathy and a very intoxicated Jason walk up to us. He puts his arm around me. I look at De and she smirks.
“Are you ready to go?” Cathy asks.
Before I can roll out from under his arm, Luke is standing in front of us; he looks at me with that, what’s this? kind of face and I roll my eyes, making him smile. He knew there was nothing going on. Before I have a chance to answer Cathy, Luke jumps in.
“Hey Jess, do you mind taking a ride with me? I told Mikey I would stop back to see if they need a ride home from CJ’s.”
“Yeah, sure,” I say as I nonchalantly roll out from Jason’s arm. We all head out at the same time. Luke parked near the hotel so we walk in a group with about a hundred other people. Timmy and Luke are walking ahead of us. De and I are behind with Lori and Cathy. It is freezing outside; it’s always much colder the closer to the water you are. Luke has given me his jacket because I left mine in Cathy’s car, along with my bag. Cathy asks if we will be back after picking up Mikey, I tell her that I think I will. De nudges me and I nudge her back. We both know I won’t be coming back tonight.
We say our goodbye’s when we reach Mikey’s car and Luke opens the passenger door for me. By this time, my buzz has worn off, but my head is still spinning. I’m excited and a nervous wreck at the same time. Is this a dream?
Chapter 24(Jesse)
My eyes follow him as he shuts my door, walks around the front of the car and then slides in the driver’s side. He looks over at me with his perfect smile, takes my hands, kisses them and rubs them between his.
“You okay? You’re freezing.”
“I’m scared to death,” I answer.
That’s the thing. We’re so close, I can tell him everything.
“What? Why?” He laughs as he starts up the car. “What are you scared of, you’re with me.”
“Exactly.”
He smiles. “You’re always alone with me. Why are you scared now?” He reaches over and holds out his hand for me to take.
“I don’t know. It’s different, isn’t it?” I ask as I put my hand in his.
“Yeah, it’s different.” He smiles as he leans over and softly kisses my lips. “Are you hungry? I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Really? That’s what you want to do right now?” I ask, a little surprised.
“Yeah. Right now, I feel like eating.” He emphasizes the right now. “I’m starving, I haven’t eaten all day.”
“You’re crazy,” I say, laughing. “At one o‘clock in the morning? What’s open?”
“The diner.”
That’s Luke, always hungry. Why am I so nervous? This is the same Luke who I sit and talk with. Who I hang out with all the time. I begin to relax a little.
“Sounds good to me. I’m following your lead.”
“Really? Following my lead,” he says slyly. “Where have I heard that before?”
I playfully squeeze his hand. We pull into the crowded parking lot. Everyone must have had the same idea. We have to wait for a table, along with what seems to be the rest of our school. We talk with a few kids from our school that we both know. I feel the usual stares, people wondering what I’m doing with him, alone, on New Year’s Eve. Everyone knows him; me, not so much. A group of girls walk in that I’m pretty sure are part of his fan club. They come up to him, kiss him hello and started talking. I begin to feel a little out of my element, so much for starting to relax. Knowing me as he does, he reaches for my hand, holds it against hi
s chest as he introduces me to the girls. Finally, the hostess calls his name.
I’m glad she sits us in a booth off to the side of the diner. At least I’m not displayed at one of the tables in the middle, surrounded by Bay Point High. The waitress brings me a cup of coffee as we look over the menu.
“Did you decide what you’re getting?” he asks.
“No, did you?”
“Yep. The Big Breakfast Combo.”
I can’t decide on eggs or pancakes, so he orders two of the Breakfast Combo’s, knowing he will finish off whatever I don’t.
“So, are you better?” he asks as he reaches across the table to take my hands. “You seem better. This is good, right? See, we’re out in public, not hiding. This is good,” he repeats enthusiastically.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m not as good at public as you are.” I laugh. “I talked to...”
Oh crap, hold that thought. Alexa is walking towards us, following the hostess. They have to pass our table in order to get to theirs. She looks drunk and the guy she’s hanging onto looks worse. She spots me, but since Luke has his back to her, she hasn’t seen who I am with. I slowly pull my hands away and wrapped them around my coffee cup.
He notices the look of panic on my face and reaches over to take my hands in his again. “What’s the ma...” he starts to say as he turns around to look in the same direction as me. Their eyes meet and he holds my hands more tightly. He turns back to face me and grins as he whispers, “Here it comes.”
“You have got to be kidding me! You are such a loser, Luke!” she slurs as she stumbles by our table. “You blew me off tonight for this!” She points her finger at me. “Believe me, he’s not worth it... he…”
“Get out of our face and go sit down, you...” Luke cuts in. I dig my nails into his hand to shut him up before he finishes his sentence. She’s drunk and I do not want to draw any more attention than what we already have. Thankfully, one of her friends keeps pushing her along to keep her moving and they sit her in another section of the diner so that we don’t have to see her.
Only after she is out of sight, I won’t give her the satisfaction of thinking she got to me, do I pull my hands out of his.
“What was that all about?” I ask curiously. What did she mean by, blow her off tonight? Did he make plans with her, then change his mind, I wonder.
“JJ, are you kidding me? I walked in CJ’s tonight and she was already a drunken mess, she came up to me and started hanging on me. I was rude to her and she started freakin’ out. Ask Mikey… that’s when he gave me his keys and told me to go find you. He knew I didn’t want to be there tonight. All I could think about was seeing you.” He’s looking at me with those puppy dog eyes.
This time I reach over to take his hand. “Just making sure I wasn’t second choice tonight,” I say, half joking.
“Never,” he answers as the waitress walks up with our order.
I give him pretty much three quarters of my plate; it is so much food. I can’t believe he can eat that much. When we are done, he pays the waitress and we head out. We seem to be home in no time. He pulls into his driveway when we get there.
“So, what’s next?” he asks as he turns off the ignition.
“I told you. I’m following your lead.”
He laughs, gets out of the car and walks over to my side to let me out.
“Girl, you are going to be sorry you said that.” He leans me against the car and kisses me.
“Really? You think so?” I tease back. I am definitely feeling more carefree. I’m back in my element. No crowds, just us.
“Let’s go,” he says as he pulls me into his house. “Do you want to stay here or go to your house?”
“I don’t care, whatever.”
“Come on up. I want to get changed.” I follow him up to his room. I’ve never actually been all the way in his room before. I’ve seen it a million times, but usually from the doorway. He points to the picture I gave him for Christmas; he has it hanging next to his bed. “See, I already hung it up,” he says proudly.
“I’m assuming the other bed is Mikey’s?”
“Yep. I’ll be right back/ I have to brush my teeth.” He walks into the bathroom and I look around his room. He has a typical boy’s room; sports stuff everywhere. I nervously sit down on his bed and he comes out of the bathroom with his shirt unbuttoned. Wow, he looks good. I’m used to seeing him in jeans, t-shirts or sweats, but he was dressed up tonight. I pull my eyes away and pretend to be reading his baseball articles on the walls, trying not to notice the fact that he has removed his shirt and is unbuttoning his pants. It doesn’t seem to faze him that I’m still in the room as he changes into his sweatpants and throws on a t-shirt. He walks towards me with his sparkling eyes and smile. He gently eases me back into the pillows and lies next to me; leaning over me, propped up on one arm as he strokes my face with his hand.
“See, this is going to drive me crazy. You look sooo good tonight.” His eyes hungrily roam my whole body. He slides his hand down my waist, caressing the top of my thigh, sliding down to my knee and sending chills throughout my body. He leans over me, his warm breath brushes against my neck and his mouth touches the bottom of my ear as he huskily whispered, “I am going to try so hard to be...”
“Luke! Luke! Are you home?!” We both jump as Mikey calls up to him from the bottom of the steps. Luke’s door is partially open. He didn’t bother to close it, assuming we were alone. Luke rushes over to call down to him, before he comes barging in.
“Uh, yeah. I’m right here,” he answers huskily from his doorway.
“You alone?”
“No... JJ’s here.” He looks back at me and shrugs, then mouths sorry to me.
“Hey JJ, Happy New Year!” Mikey hollers up, cheerfully.
“Happy New Year!” I answer, my voice cracking. He’s such a pain in the ass. He has to call up to me just to bust on me. Luke looks at me and rolls his eyes. “Megan’s with him,” he whispers.
“Is De home?” Mikey asks.
“No, she got a room with everyone at the hotel,” Luke answers. Not quite everyone, I think, smiling to myself.
“Cool, we’ll be in the rec room.” Mikey shouts back.
I’m sitting on the edge of the bed when Luke walks back over to me. “How about we go to my house?” I ask before he gets comfortable.
He laughs. “Why... cause Mikey’s home?”
“Yeah. You know him. He’ll be in the middle of us for the rest of the night, trying to get the scoop.”
“I don’t think so. I think he’s going to be a little wrapped up for a while, but if you’ll feel better, we can go.”
“Yeah, I think I do. This way I can get changed, too.”
As we reach my house I debate as to whether I should bring him in my room or stay in the family room. Of course my bed is more comfortable than the floor or couch, but will I be sending him the wrong signals? I mean, as much as I care about him, I’m not ready for anything big, but after I think about it, it is Luke, not some random guy. He knows me better than anyone. He’ll never rush me into something I’m not ready for. Well that settles it, the bedroom it is. I casually take his hand and lead him to my room. I try to act like this is something we always do and it is no big deal, but I’m feeling a little awkward because I don’t know what he’ll be thinking.
“Uh, are you taking me to your room? God, you move fast,” he jokes.
I punch him. Leave it up to him to make a smart ass comment and break the ice. You’ve got to love that about him. As soon as I start to over think something and worry about it, he eases the tension.
“Oh... So it’s okay for you to take me to your room, but it’s not okay for me to take you to my room?” I jokingly ask.
“Yeah, well…we know I move fast,” he says as he tickles me.
“Not anymore,” I say under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.
He pulls me into a bear hug. “Not anymore,” he says sincerely, looking into my eyes. “From
now on, we take things slow. We go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”
“Thank you.” I lean up to give him a kiss. See, problem solved. “So… you said you wanted to talk to me?” It is more of a question than a statement.
“Yep, I do. About us.”
“Okay, let me get change so I can be comfortable, too, I’ll be back in sec.” I grab a pair of sweat shorts and a tank top out of my drawer.
Unlike him, I change in my bathroom. I wash my face since I had a little more make-up on tonight than usual; it is New Year’s. I brush my teeth and my hair. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and I look in the mirror. Wow, I just managed to go from looking twenty to looking twelve in a matter of minutes. I shake my hair out of the ponytail and head back to my room. He’s looking at the collage of pictures hanging on my wall. De and I hung up a huge bulletin board filled with pictures we took from the summer up until recently. Someone is always snapping pictures with their cell phones.
“What? No pictures of me?” he asks as I walk in.
They mostly are of my friends, but I do have a couple of him, here and there. “You’re in a couple.” I walk over and point to two pictures. One where he is standing with Mikey at the beach. I’m not sure who took it, but I downloaded it from somewhere. The other is of him and me at the inlet. It was the last time we had been there for a party, in early October. We were finally getting past the summer incident. He had come over and sat next to me on my blanket to say, hi. Cathy, with camera phone in hand, walked up and told us to smile. I like it because you can see the sun setting over the water behind us. Luke has his arm around me.
“Where did you get this one?” he asks, pointing to the picture.
“Cathy took it; the last time everyone went to the inlet.” “I remember. Can I have it?” he asks.
“No, but I’ll make you a copy.” I laugh. “So, let’s talk.” I fluff the pillows and lean back against them.
