by Hayden Hunt
We sat down on my couch and I brought the glass of wine with me, seeing that he was already sipping on his second glass. Only a few seconds after sitting down, he was pouring himself another glass. In a way, his obvious nervousness made me a little nervous.
“So, how are you liking the complex so far?” I asked him.
“Oh, it’s good. People are nice, it’s quiet and clean. I like it a lot.”
“Good, glad to hear it. Yeah, I’ve never had any problems. What brings you here, by the way? Why’d you choose these apartments?”
I thought I was just making small talk but again, I managed to make him grimace at one of my questions.
“Actually,” he said, already sounding kind of buzzed to me, “this place kind of found me.”
“Oh? How so?”
He stared at me seriously, as if trying to figure out how to answer.
“I’m sorry, if this is some kind of personal situation you don’t have to tell me at all…” I said politely.
“It is,” he admitted. “It’s so personal that I haven’t spoken to even a single other person in my life about it.”
“Well, then, don’t even worry about it. I totally get why you’d be uncomfortable—”
“No.” He stopped me. “That’s the thing, I’m not uncomfortable. I haven't told anyone, but for some reason I want to tell you.” He sighed. “Maybe it’s all been a little much for me to keep in quietly.”
“Well, you can,” I told him. “If you want to vent, feel free. Really, you’ll get no judgement from me.”
The conversation was getting real heavy real quick but I liked it. I hated small talk. I hated the fact that humans forced themselves to say the bare minimum in order to look normal. We kept parts of ourselves hidden, always afraid to go too far with something. Well, I didn’t believe you could go too far in talking to another person.
I liked my conversations to be more real. And I was thrilled that this might be one of those awesome, genuine conversations you got to have very rarely with a complete stranger.
He nodded, as if he’d decided. “Okay, here’s the thing. Ever since I was a teenager, I dreamt about being successful. A huge point of success for me was supposed to be getting my first property. And I’ve done that now.”
I wasn’t following. “Which is great! Especially at your age…”
“But I didn’t earn it,” he confessed. “And it’s coming to me at the most tragic point in my life and… It just feels like shit.”
“I’m so sorry…” I said softly. “But surely you did earn it, Gabe.”
He looked at me, not breaking eye contact. “I didn’t. I inherited it. It belonged to my grandma. She passed away.”
My jaw dropped as this all hit me at once. That meant the old lady who lived here before him… Was actually his grandmother? And she passed? I had no idea and I kept bringing it up… No wonder he cringed every time I called her the ‘older woman who lived here before.’
“Oh my God, Gabe, I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine, shit happens…” he said, now brushing off the thing that was so tragic to him he hadn’t even bothered to tell anybody else.
“Don’t do that,” I told him. “Don’t downplay it. Obviously it’s deeply painful for you.”
He buried his head in his hands and took a deep breath. “It is, honestly. She was really the only person in my life who cared about me.” He looked up, eyes widened with regret. “Wow, that makes me sound depressing.” He laughed awkwardly.
“Like I said, I’m not here to judge. Really, don’t worry about that.”
He nodded. “It’s just that I haven’t made a very big effort to make friends. And she was the only family I had who really cared about me.”
“Really? You don’t have any siblings or parents that you talk to…?”
He shook his head. “I don’t speak to my parents. Or, rather, they don’t speak to me. I’m an only child.”
“Why won’t they talk to you?” I asked bluntly.
He shook his head. “It was stupid. Something I did in high school… It was a giant misunderstanding but they never saw it that way. So they disowned me, never to be spoken to again.”
“Seriously? You’re their only child and they disowned you?” My heart broke for him. This was unfathomable to me. My parents were always so supportive of me. “They didn’t even speak to you after your grandma died?”
“Nope. They weren’t talking to her either, simply because she refused to end her relationship with me. Since high school, she’s been a surrogate mother to me. She was really everything to me. She was so kind… I can’t think of a sweeter person. When it felt like my life was falling apart, she was always there for me.”
“Gabe, I’m so sorry,” I said seriously, reaching my hand out to hold his comfortingly.
Just this small touch seemed to set him off. He started to burst into tears.
I slid to his side of the couch and wrapped an arm around him.
“Gabe… Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He wiped his eyes, his voice still hoarse with his tears. “It’s just that… I didn’t know how much I was dying to tell somebody. I feel so bad, doing this to you now. I’m crying at a complete stranger’s house. But I’ve kept this so tightly inside that it was eating away at me. I don’t think I even knew that it was. But I feel it all now… I’m so lost without her.”
I pulled him close and his head fell onto my shoulders.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed at all. This is what being a human is all about, you know? Having these kinds of connections. Even with complete strangers, if that’s what it takes. You’re human, you need people. And I’m so, so sorry that you lost your person.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “For what it’s worth, she really did seem like a lovely lady.”
“God, you’re nice.” He let out an awkward chuckle as he wiped his eyes, pulling his head off my chest. “Seriously, I can’t believe I was such an ass to you that first night.”
I laughed. “Don’t mention it, seriously, you’re clearly going through a lot. It makes even more sense now.”
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This is weird for me. You know, it’s not that I don’t have friends simply because I can’t make them…”
“I figured that.” I smiled at him. “You seem socially aware, you’re a decent looking guy. I never envisioned you had trouble meeting people.”
He nodded. “That’s the thing, I don’t. It’s just that I don’t really care to socialize with people. I’ve never fostered any friendships, or relationships for that matter. I keep to myself. I do it on purpose.”
“Okay…” I said softly, unsure where he was going with this.
“I've never wanted to have any connections with people. I’ve never had the desire to talk to a complete stranger about my life, let alone cry on his shoulders. So this is strange. You are strangely easy to talk to. Why is that?”
I laughed. “I’m not sure, honestly.”
He continued to look at me very seriously.
“What?” I asked.
Without warning, he leaned in and kissed me.
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