by Heather Long
“Is too fucking big, and she doesn’t deserve it.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I wish I could fix this for you.”
“I know.” I gave him a small smile. “You know you make my life better, right?”
“Fuck, I hope so. We managed to screw so much shit up for you.”
I licked my lips. “Maybe we needed to… I don’t know, maybe we needed to be apart and I needed to see what life was like without you guys in it.”
“Yeah well, I knew what life without you in it was like, and I fucking hated it then.” When he slid an arm around me, I leaned into him and tucked my face against his neck. He massaged my nape as he said, “And maybe that’s why I hate the idea of you being out there on your own.”
“Well, to be fair,” I tried to inject some lightness into my tone, “the last couple of times I’ve ‘stepped out,’ shit has gone sideways.”
He made a noise of agreement, but finally stepped back, hands on my shoulders. “Text when you get there,” he said firmly. “Text when you’re leaving.”
I nodded. The worry hadn’t left his expression at all.
“Are you going anywhere else?” He flexed his fingers against my shoulders, and a part of me hated what this was doing to him—the worry, the concern, and the fear eating at him. It made me want to offer to let him just come along.
But that would kind of defeat the purpose. I needed to do this as much for them as for me at this point.
“I don’t think so.” I scrunched up my nose, before I offered him a smile. “If I do, how about I text that, too?”
He blew out a breath, then brushed a kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”
“You shouldn’t have to thank me for being considerate.” I got it. They were worried. But they also weren’t fighting me on this, which was a win for me.
“You shouldn’t have to coddle my feelings,” Jake countered, then gave my ass a little squeeze. “Go on, go do your thing.”
“Jake?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
A wry smile twisted his lips, and my heart gave a little flutter. Sometimes, the way he looked at me just knocked all the wind out of me. “Get out of here before I change my mind,” he said. “I’m already hating every minute you’re going to be gone.”
I laughed, but the minute I was in the car and got it started—it took a little twisting with my left hand and the same for the gear shift—I found myself missing them, too. Not how I had that summer, but the little things. The touches. The teasing comments. The smiles.
Then I glanced to where Jake waited on the sidewalk, hands tucked into his pockets and looking very lickable. I blew him a kiss and then focused on driving. It wasn’t until I got to the edge of the parking lot, waiting to turn out, that I let out another long breath and turned up the music.
It was awkward as fuck driving, no lie. But it was also nice to just be me. For a little while.
Yes, I was pathetic. I couldn’t wait to get back to see them after I talked to Marsha and maybe straightened out what work I could do, if any.
Marsha, though thrilled to see me, was not interested in me coming back to work until I was one hundred percent. Even if I could run the register just fine, there were too many things I needed both arms for, and personally, she wanted me to focus on me.
In fact, she suggested that I wait until after the holidays to come back. When I gaped at her, she confessed she had hired someone temporarily through the holidays to cover for me. It was a blow. I got it, she couldn’t just keep my job indefinitely. Even if she promised my job wasn’t going anywhere. However, until I was better, she wanted me looking after myself.
The woman still gave the best hugs, and she sent me off with a chocolate shake, which I sat in the car and drank as I tried to figure out what I was going to do. Mental math told me I had more than enough to cover my expenses through the holidays. There wouldn’t be much in the way for Christmas shopping or for Jake’s birthday. I could probably splurge a little to make sure I got them something.
Head back against the seat, I stared at the flow of traffic outside. I loathed spending the money when I didn’t have more coming in. I needed to go over how much I had left owing on the car. The guys were spending money on food, since they were half living with me, so maybe if we worked out a budget, I could pare back what I was spending on all fronts.
I’d originally planned to figure out how to pay Archie back for the rent, but I had a feeling that was not going to happen anytime soon.
Exhaling, I stared down at the phone. I’d texted the group chat when I’d arrived—as promised—but I hadn’t said anything about heading back yet.
I needed a plan.
Logging into my banking app, I stared at the number in my account, then the number in my savings. After Christmas, there was about five months until graduation, give or take. If I added a shift, I might be able to make up the difference of what I spent…
Or I could just do a different job in the meanwhile. I glanced around the car and then down at my arm. I really wanted to do something for the guys for Christmas. I wanted to do something for Jake’s birthday. Chewing my lower lip, I debated it. Coop and Jake alternated their shift nights, mostly so one of them was always around for me, but we all needed to get back to a more normal schedule.
Dating was definitely on the table, or should be.
My heart raced abruptly, and I had to take several long, deep breaths to calm it down. Dating was on the table with Ian, and it hadn’t been off with the other guys. Okay, I said I needed a plan. I took a sip of my shake, then tabbed over to the group chat message.
Me: Done here. About to head back.
Jake: Still feeling okay?
Coop: How did it go?
Archie: We were just debating what to order for dinner. Thoughts?
Ian: Drive safe.
I chuckled.
Me: Sorta. Not great, but not bad. Not hungry—yet. I will. I’ll be home soon.
It was still awkward to get the car started and to shift the gears, but it was also getting easier. Maybe I just needed the practice. If I started taking the car to school again, I’d get the practice. The chances of the guys not fighting me driving myself every day weren’t great.
And on a little selfish side, I kind of liked riding with them.
It started raining before I’d even made it a block. It turned into a torrential downpour as I turned into the apartments. I was practically crawling, because of how the rain came sheeting down. I’d barely parked under the carport and gotten the car shut off when Jake and Ian appeared, both sporting umbrellas and rain ponchos—Ian even had one for me.
Okay, I’d needed a minute. I admit it. I’d needed to go and talk to Marsha on my own. But it was stuff like this that reminded me why I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.
Homework finished, we sprawled in the living room while the guys pounded each other alternately in racing and fighting games. I had a book open and earphones in, though I wasn’t actually listening to anything at the moment. Ian had sent me four more songs he’d been working on, including an updated version of his audition piece.
They were good.
They were really good.
I’d listened to all of them a couple of times, biting my lip as I grinned, aware that Ian watched me closely. When he raised his eyebrows, I grinned wider and hit play again on the beginning. The way his shoulders relaxed as he leaned back against the sofa made me grin wider. I bumped him—gently, because seriously, I was still worried about his ribs, even if he had started running and said it didn’t hurt that bad.
“I love them,” I’d murmured quietly, and he gave me this delighted little grin. “Now focus, or they’re going to kick your ass.” Not that my advice helped, because when he jerked his gaze back to the screen, Jake had run his car off the road.
“Ass,” Ian snarled, almost cheerfully, and Jake just gave him a smirk before his gaze collided with mine and he winked.
Shaking my head, I went back to
the book. One thing about our lit class, we had a lot of extracurricular reading to do, so I might as well get that done while I couldn’t do other stuff. It was just nice to hang out with all of them.
Except for the part where I’d brought up budgeting for food. Coop and Jake got it, but Archie just shrugged and said he’d cover all the extras. I didn’t want him paying for everything. They settled it by figuring out how much we’d spent the last few weeks they’d more or less been here, then Archie asked how much I wanted to budget. Since the actual amount kind of left me nauseated for how much money we’d been spending—not four times what was normal, but more like ten—I thought about my dwindling bank account and said if we actually went shopping instead of ordering out all the time, I could probably get through the week on fifty.
“Okay, so you put in fifty,” Archie said. “We’ll take care of the rest.”
Translation—I’d budget, and Archie would pay for everything anyway. He wouldn’t budge on it. I’d kind of hoped Coop or Jake would back me on this, but all they did was volunteer a hundred each, that Ian then matched. Which at the rate they consumed food, was not going to be enough.
I’d figure something out.
“Hey,” Ian murmured, and I dragged my gaze off the words I hadn’t been reading. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison was a good book, the problem was me, not the book itself. “You’re sighing again. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I told him, and when he gave me a skeptical look, I shook my head. “Really, I’m just overthinking everything.”
“You’re still on the budget.”
I made a face. “No, well, yes, but that’s not quite why I’m sighing.”
“C’mon, babe, I can afford it. Use me for my money,” Archie said, his grin teasing.
“That is the last thing I want to use you for,” I snapped, glaring at him. Jake elbowed him, and Archie let out an oomph.
“Hey, I know that.” His car, like Ian’s, crashed, but neither of them focused on the screen. Instead, they were looking at me. Coop hummed as he zipped past Jake. “But, Frankie, the expenses you’re worrying about are bad because we are here, and I for one, want to be here.”
“Me, too,” Ian chimed in.
“So do frick and frack over here,” Archie said, motioning to Coop and Jake. “I also like ordering in because I don’t cook.”
“You could learn,” I suggested, much to his skeptical, if semi-horrified expression. “Seriously, you can build robots, you can learn to make an omelet. You have good hands and excellent control.”
His slow grin at my declaration had me beet red in a second. Someday, I would not blush when he looked at me like that. Someday. That day was clearly not today. “Good to know you like my hands.”
Coop snorted. “She likes mine, too, and I know how to cook.”
“Pretty sure she likes mine best, and I can cook and clean,” Jake threw in, then tossed a look at me. He could also do hair, but we didn’t discuss that in mixed company, even if they’d seen him brushing my hair before.
“Nope,” Ian interrupted as he stretched his legs out and draped his arm along the sofa so he could stroke his fingers against my bare calf. “I know Frankie prefers the fingering I do.”
“You finger your guitar,” Coop deadpanned. “Not Frankie. When you get that far, we’ll discuss whether you’re in the running.”
Oh. Hell. No.
My face was on fire, and I squirmed to get up from the sofa and escape this discussion, but Ian slid his hand along the underside of my calf and began to massage it. That alone was enough to send shivers ascending my spine. The very last thing I needed was this to turn into an open discussion about sex.
“Depends,” Jake said. “We don’t know that he didn’t get that far.”
I closed my eyes. “I hate you all.”
“No you don’t,” Coop told me, wicked laughter dancing in his eyes. “You do realize the screaming orgasm contest is still on the board.”
“Speaking of which,” Archie said as though it had just occurred to him. “We need to set up that board.”
“No we do not,” I snapped and dragged myself into an upright position. Ian shifted to drop his controller on the table and then lifted himself up with his arms before he scooped me up and settled me in his lap as he took a seat. The speed at which he moved reminded me of why he was on the football team in the first place.
Jake cocked an eyebrow, the quiet question in his eyes muting any humor. Was I okay with Ian putting me in his lap?
Despite my preference for a subject change, I didn’t mind curling against Ian. He had an arm around my waist, and my ass was more firmly on his thigh than anything else, the heat scorching the back of my neck and likely contributing to the almost sunburnt effect on my face. I gave Jake a little nod, and he relaxed back to lounging on the stack of pillows he’d dragged into the living room.
I opened my mouth to say something when a little humming sound distracted me, and I glanced over toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms as a little circular robotic device rolled out with Tiddles sitting on the back of it, staring down at the machine as it began to hum its way across the carpet.
“What the hell is that?” Not even needing to guess, I switched my glare to Archie.
He wore an absolute unrepentant smirk as he said, “Jake’s and my robot project.”
Bullshit was the first word to come to mind. Coop snickered, but Jake gave me the most butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth smile, eyes twinkling. Even Ian couldn’t mask his laughter. If the shaking of his chest against my back didn’t give him away, the little huffs of breath against my throat would.
“We’re running live tests,” Archie continued, though his own smirk betrayed him. “It covers the vacuuming so we could call it chores, too.”
I rolled my eyes. “Archie…”
“What?” Yeah, not buying the innocence. “I said I’d work on my life skills. Cooking is definitely not there, and why run a vacuum on a schedule when this little guy can do it for us?” He didn’t bat an eyelash as I stared at him.
When I transferred that same stare to Jake, he raised his eyebrows without a trace of a smirk in sight. “It’s our project,” he promised. “It’s not store bought. Nor is it just ‘repurposed.’ We built it.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Before or after Archie bought one and took it completely apart to deconstruct it?”
Not missing a beat, Jake shrugged. “We call that research and development.”
A snort escaped me before I could stop it, swiftly followed by a laugh. Archie spread his hands and then grinned at me. “You’re welcome, babe.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. They weren’t fooling me, and at the same time, it was wildly sweet. “Thank you, Archie.”
He grinned. “My pleasure.” Then he twisted to sit back down, game controller in hand. “Who’s in for the next ass whipping?”
Ian plucked one of the earphones out of my ear and tucked it into his as he shifted me on his lap. It let me elevate my cast arm on the sofa behind him while he balanced me, and then unplugged the headphones from my phone and slotted them into his before he opened the music app. “You guys go ahead, Frankie and I have some homework to do.”
“Thought we were all done with homework,” Coop said, cutting his gaze between us. I gave him a little shrug because I’d been reading. Still, I didn’t move my book as Ian tabbed down to a new list, and I stared at the tracks that had no names.
When I glanced at him, he grinned, then pressed his lips close to my ear without the earbud in it. “I want you to listen to these with me. I think you’ve got the range for all of them. Pick your two favorites, and those will be the ones we practice.”
I grimaced. I couldn’t help it. I was still a little in shock that he’d gotten me to sound so good for Archie’s birthday present song. At the same time, a little thrill curled in my stomach as he hit play. The stretch of his lips as he smiled against me tickled, then he pressed a kiss to my earlobe. It was the
simplest thing, and it set off a dozen butterflies in my stomach.
Sprawled out on the floor around us, Jake, Coop, and Archie gave each other hell as they sped through the streets of some European city. I could still hear the game, but I was mostly focused on the soft strumming of the guitar that promised a ballad before the riff of chords took it to another level.
How many songs had Ian worked on over the last few weeks?
When I glanced at him, I found him studying me with a small smile, and I grinned. The song was magic, but then I was pretty sure I’d grown biased. I loved Ian’s voice. He could sing rock, country, old folk songs, and modern pop, and I’d just soak it up.
The first two songs were magic, but the third one?
I blinked up at him, and he grinned slowly. “That one,” he mouthed, and what else could I do but nod? If I could sing any of them, I’d love to sing that one. I wasn’t a singer though, even if it was fun to pretend.
He let out a little hum and began to rub my back gently as we listened. There were tears in my eyes before it was over. Tucking my head against his shoulder, I sighed. We were still waiting on college letters. I’d been wait-listed by two schools, both in the Ivy League. I had a feeling that would be Harvard’s response, too. Of all of us, only Ian hadn’t heard anything yet.
NYU seemed to be a yes for four of us, but we needed Ian to get in there, too. Not that we were set on it. The programs he’d applied for wouldn’t respond as swiftly. The auditions made a difference.
But how could they tell him no?
The fourth song was even better than the third, and my cheeks ached at the fast pace. It was hard to hold on to the melancholy with the beat he set. He needed a band.
He needed… Holy shit. On the fifth song, I jerked my head up and stared at him. The smug grin on his face made me laugh, but it didn’t alleviate my shock. He’d covered one of my favorite Torched songs, right down to the keening wail the lead did in the third stanza.
His chuckle warmed me to my bones, and then he pressed a kiss to my forehead before I tucked my head back down. Coop caught my eye. He was grinning at us, looking all kinds of pleased. I stuck my tongue out at him before I grinned back.
