by Wendy Vella
“He came up to you and handed you something?”
She nodded.
“It was an envelope. Brad has it.”
Pulling everything out of his pocket, he handed it to Katie.
“I-I don't want to see them, Cubby. That's not me anymore, I'm not that victim.”
Brad took the hand she had clenched on her thigh in his and held it.
Katie and Cubby looked through the pictures and Brad thought they must have been trained well, because neither of them flinched. Even knowing they were of their friend.
He could see those hands and feet bound tight in his head. Imagine the pain she must have suffered through, and battled down the rage at the man who could have inflicted that kind of hurt on Macy.
“Have you read the note?” Cubby took the piece of paper out of the envelope and opened it.
Brad and Macy shook their heads.
“It’s typed, which suggests to me that this was likely sent outside prison, because all mail coming in and out is scanned, so it would have been intercepted.”
“It must be Brian’s sister,” Macy said.
“It’s likely,” Cubby agreed. “Want me to read it out loud?”
He let her decide, and when she nodded, Brad braced himself to at least appear calm.
“I can get to you anywhere, wife, at any time. At your precious carnival, in your house, you will never be safe from me. I hope you enjoy the family snaps, and that they remind you of all the fun we had together. More to follow, wife. Much, much more.”
“Asshole!” Brad had to vent. He had to let out something before he imploded.
“I've got a few stronger words, but they won't help anyone, so I'll swallow them down. Do you know where Brian’s sister lives, Macy?”
“Yes.”
“You give me those details,” Cubby opened his pad. “I’ll get my colleagues to go pay her a call.”
“I want to kill him for you, Macy.” Katie’s words were low and angry. “Fly there tomorrow, ask to meet him, and then put a bullet between his eyes.”
Brad felt better hearing her words.
“And yet we can't as we are law enforcement officers,” Cubby added, briefly shooting his partner a look, before continuing to write down the address Macy was giving him. “But same goes, off the record.”
Macy sniffed. “I know you do, and thank you for it.”
“We love you, as does most everyone else in this town, with the possible exception of Militant, but even there you're the front runner in her affections behind Billy.”
Cubby's words managed to lift the side of Macy’s mouth.
“Anyways, I'll just lock these away, and we'll head back now before those others sniff the wind and know something's up.”
“You kidding me?” Katie said. “They'll already know something’s up.”
“Probably, but how much they know is up to you, Macy.”
Brad watched Macy nod to Cubby as she got to her feet.
“I need a drink.”
“Me too.
They got through the rest of the carnival, but Brad knew neither of them was fooling anyone. Macy's smile was too forced and as he wasn't the world’s greatest talker anyway, now he had to force himself to grunt.
Katie and Cubby were better, used to this kind of thing, he guessed. They acted normal.
“Tired, bud?”
Billy had found his way onto Brad's lap and was yawning loudly.
“No.”
“Okay, so the yawn is just because you're bored?”
Billy snuffled then rested on Brad's chest. He ran a hand over the boy's head and wondered at the closeness he felt with him. Was this what it would be like when he had a niece and nephew? He wasn’t ready to settle down yet, but he could love Ethan’s and Hope’s kids, couldn’t he? And if he came back here, he would see Billy again, and that would be enough.
He wasn't ready to settle down. He'd told himself that repeatedly since he left his father's house. He needed to see the world, grow as a person, and he couldn't do that if he had people who relied on him.
He had to leave Howling, and soon.
“Good evening to you all.”
And that was all it needed to turn what should have been a great night into an even more shit one. Brad looked up at the two lawyers who appeared behind Jake McBride.
Manners forced everyone to murmur a greeting, but the lack of enthusiasm was obvious.
“Can I buy the next round of drinks for everyone?”
“No thanks,” everyone said in response to Mr. Alexander.
“We just want to talk, nothing more than that. Answer any questions you may all have. We got off on the wrong foot at the meeting, and the Falkirk Consortium want to make amends for that.”
Brad watched Jake McBride turn in his chair and look up at the man.
“And how do they plan to do that, other than leaving the Buchanan land untouched?”
“Compensation.” The sleazy Mr. Ryan stepped forward, and Brad felt his hackles rise.
“You wouldn't be attempting to bribe an officer of the law, now would you?”
The man didn't flinch at Cubby's words, instead his smile grew.
“Of course not. We just want to ensure the people of Lake Howling get a chance to reap the benefits from the increase in tourism the development on the Buchanan land will bring.”
“Yes,” Mr. Alexander said, taking over. “A few extra developments.”
“Not interested,” Buster said in a hard, flat voice.
“You can't speak on behalf of the entire town, Mr. Griffin.”
“You have done your homework.”
“Tell me, have any of the Lake Howling residents you spoke with tonight been receptive to your offers?” Annabelle asked.
Their silence was only brief but it was enough to confirm no one was buying what they were selling.
Brad had heard enough. He had an outlet for his anger, and while he wasn't a resident, he was pissed enough to step in.
“Now leave, and take Ms. Buchanan with you.”
Mr. Alexander, Brad had realized, had a great deal more sense than Mr. Ryan. The latter was a terrier. No way in hell was he about to back off.
“I don't believe this concerns you, Mr. Gelderman, as you are not a resident here in Lake Howling.”
Brad lifted the now slumbering form of Billy off his lap and onto his mother's, and then regained his feet.
“These are my friends, and as an outsider I have an even better perspective of what you are attempting to do.”
“Oh now—”
“These people are neither bribable nor malleable, so take some advice from someone who has recently learned both these things, and leave. When you do, tell my father to find someone else to do his dirty work.”
“We don't take advice from you.” Color flushed Mr. Ryan's cheeks.
“You should.”
He felt everyone's eyes on him as he took Billy from Macy, then held a hand under her arm to get her out of the seat, and he didn't care how it looked.
“Let's go.”
Macy looked ready to drop where she stood. She didn't argue, and he could tell that the night's events had taken their toll on her, coupled with the death of her father.
They said good night, then started walking. He carried Billy draped over his shoulder, and Macy walked silently at his side.
“Your father is a real piece of work.”
“And then some,” Brad said.
“Must have been hard on your mom.”
“Sure, but she could have pushed back. Instead she chose the easy route.”
The air was cooling, but it felt good. The people had thinned, most still at the carnival, and soon it was just them walking up Macy's street. If he didn’t have all the other shit going on inside his head, he could say this picture was damn near perfect. Holding the little warm body nestled in his arms, and with the woman he liked, strongly, and possibly, maybe cared more for, at his side.
“It takes a
strong person to stand up against that, especially if you've lived with it your entire life.”
“But she should have fought harder when her children came along.” Brad was surprised by his words. Maybe surprised wasn't the right word, as he'd thought them often enough. The surprise was that he said them out loud.
“She should have, but again that takes strength, and maybe it was something she didn't have much of as she'd never believed herself strong.”
“Don't protect her, Macy. She likes the lifestyle and what my father's money brings. There was nothing to stop her loving us more.”
He saw the house rising above all the others.
“That's an ugly house,” he said, to draw her attention away from him.
“Don't go after my house because you don't like the topic of conversation.”
Her words were calm, but he was pleased to hear the bite in them.
“How about, I don't want to talk about my mother then?”
“At least that's honest, but as I don't want to talk about me, or my house, you're the other option.”
“Can we not talk about either?”
“Sure, but then I've had several veins sliced open tonight. Fair’s fair.”
“Macy.” He sighed.
“So, your mother didn't love you?”
“I didn't say that.”
They walked up her driveway. She dug into her bag, and he heard her hands rummaging through the contents.
“You don't have a key-specific pocket in there somewhere?”
“Key specific? Is there such a thing?”
“How do you find anything if you don't have places for them?” Brad heard more rummaging.
“It's part of the fun, like a game of guess what the shape is.”
He snorted.
“Aha.”
“Nice work.”
She opened the door, and he walked inside with Billy still slumbering in his arms. Heading for the stairs, he climbed with Macy on his heels and headed for the boy’s bedroom.
Macy stripped him and pulled on his pjs and then tucked him in, and Billy hardly murmured.
Switching on his nightlight, Macy then waved him from the room.
They headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Brad scooped up a sleepy Razzle and took him outside, and then they bedded him back down for the night. They were simple things, small things that families did all the time, things he'd never done or had done to him.
“You want a coffee?”
Brad shook his head as they reached the lounge, and simply reached for her. Sliding a hand around her back, he eased her close and kissed her. It was soft and so goddamn sweet he was pretty sure he just sighed with the beauty of it.
“You okay?”
“Yes, and I have to thank you for that.”
“Thank me how?”
She looked up at him, her hand going to his hair, pushing it off his face, then her fingers trailed down to stroke his cheek.
“You told me I was strong, and in the last few days I've begun to realize that maybe you're right.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to see what I do. Add to that beautiful both inside and out.”
“Actually”—she touched his lips, running a finger along the top then bottom. To Brad, it felt like she was mapping his face—“you are one of the nicest, kindest, and gentlest men I have ever met, Brad Gelderman. You are one of the good guys, and I'll add to that hot.”
“Aww shucks,” he said, never comfortable with compliments.
“But, I have to back away from you now, Brad.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
She slid out of his arms.
“What?”
“Here’s the thing, Brad.” Macy paced away from him, and she hated the sudden distance between them, but needed it to do what must be done. “I told myself when Brian was put in prison that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than I deserved.”
“Sure, and you shouldn’t.”
She could see the wariness in his eyes now, as he wondered what she was talking about. He was such a beautiful man. Tall, tanned, and sexy as hell. Her heart seemed to thud a little harder when he was near, but it wasn’t enough, not now.
Tonight he had shown her again the man he was. Comforted and protected her because of those photos.
“I’ve begun to have feelings for you, Brad, and I know Billy does too, but we both know that you’re not ready to reciprocate, if you ever will be.”
“I’ve only known you a few weeks, Macy. I’m not sure what you’re asking of me.”
“I’m not asking anything of you, Brad. We both made it clear that this was a short-term thing. I get that, but I’ve realized that with you it’s different. I mean,” she waved a hand at him as he tried to close the distance between them, “it could simply be that you’re the first man to show me attention, and be nice to me, and that’s why I feel about you like I do.” She was lying of course, Macy knew she loved this man. It was a real love, and she doubted another man would ever touch her heart like Brad did.
“That’s not very flattering.” The frown turned to a scowl. “You think you care about me because I was the first man to be nice to you since that asshole?”
“We’re moving off the point,” Macy said as the knots in her stomach tightened.
“I don’t know what the point is.” He gritted the words out between his teeth.
“Don’t get angry with me.”
“Then say what you want to say, and stop delaying.”
“I’m not delaying, I’m trying to explain.”
His eyes narrowed as he focused, and she felt the old Macy rise up inside her. Easily intimidated, scared, and someone who would back down in a heartbeat. But she wasn’t that Macy anymore, she reminded herself. Brad had told her she was strong, and tonight she needed to be.
“Spit it out then.”
“This,” she said softly, “us, it’s wonderful, but it’s time to end it. I can’t do this anymore, Brad, because I care about you, and I don’t want to get hurt when you leave. Billy too. I don’t want him hurt either.”
“Why does it have to get complicated? We like each other, we certainly get on well, especially in bed—”
“Don’t bring that into it. This is about feelings, not that.”
“Sex?” he said, looking angry now. “Sex is part of what is good between us.”
It’s more than sex, she thought. Way more, but she wasn’t saying those words out loud.
“But I want more.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want more.”
Macy huffed out a sigh. “I know I did, and I thought I could stay uninvolved emotionally, but I can’t. So it needs to stop, Brad. We can be friends, but no more of the rest of it.”
“The rest of it? Are you talking about kindness, caring, support?”
“Brad, you’re deliberately not understanding what I’m trying to say. This wouldn’t have happened before dad died, but his death brought you close again, and I should not have let that happen.”
He raked a hand through his hair and looked the hotter for it… bastard. Macy bet he’d never had an ugly day in his life.
“I like being with you and Billy.”
She needed to ask the question. It was the only way to cut through all the crap and get to what needed to be said. It would scare him, and then she could sit a corner and lick her wounds and tell herself she was an idiot when he ran for the hills.
“Do you love me, Brad?”
The shock on his face would have made her laugh if she could manage it.
“Wh-what?”
She didn’t speak.
“I-I care about you, of course.”
“Well I love you, Brad Gelderman, so you can see how messy that makes things. Therefore, I want to call this to a halt before I can’t.”
“Can’t?”
He hadn’t expected her declaration, and to be honest she hadn’t intended on saying how she felt, but then she thought about what she’d promised herself whe
n the fog of her marriage to Brian had cleared. Be true to yourself, be honest, and say how you feel. It didn’t always work, but right now she realized that the truth was the only possible way forward.
“I love you, Brad, but I know you can’t return those feelings right now, so I need to call a halt to this before I get in any deeper. So, thanks for being there when I needed you, and I hope we can still be friends.”
“Th-thanks?”
Not many people had told this man they loved him, Macy understood that, could see it in the way his body had tensed. Maybe in telling him she’d start him thinking, and then maybe, just maybe he’d realize he was worth loving, and that he cared for her too.
“Can I ask you one more thing before you leave, Brad?”
He managed a jerky nod.
“Do you love yourself?”
“I—what?”
“Until you do, you can’t love anyone else.”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me, Macy, I don’t need or want it. I know who I am, and what I want—”
“And you don’t want my love, I get that.” Macy ignored the arrow of pain in her chest.
“Don’t put words in my mouth!”
He was getting angry now. Angry, and she suspected frustrated with what she was forcing him to face.
“Have you ever behaved with another woman as you have with me?”
“Don’t try and tie me up in knots with words, Macy. I care for you, but I’ve cared for plenty of other women too.”
That hurt.
“I felt sorry for you, so I looked out for you—”
“Sorry!” Macy hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but she had. “Don’t you dare lie and say this was about sorry, or pity, or whatever the hell else you’re trying to rationalize the feelings you have for me. Man up and see them for what they are, Brad.”
His jaw clenched.
“I don’t need this shit from you. I thought we were friends, but I can see now you’re like the other women. Always trying to get something from me I don’t have to give.”
“Go.” She pointed at the door. “Get out before we say more hurtful things to each other.”
