by C. M. Albert
Rosalie half-smiled, but it was hard to hear her talking about Zade so casually in this context. She had a whole past with him that Rosalie wasn’t a part of.
“I was the ultimate fixer-upper. But I was also so emotionally unavailable. Celeste and I went out to celebrate and ran into Zade and some friends at the karaoke bar. Let’s just say that tequila and I aren’t friends. You know that saying, ‘tequila makes my clothes come off’? I think it was coined especially for me.”
Rosalie cringed, but tried her best to separate what Dez was saying from the man she had grown to love so much.
“We all have embarrassing moments we’d like to live down, Rosalie. Your crush on Mitch had nothing on my—eh-hem—indiscretions.”
Dez paused, knotting her fingers together in her lap. “I fucked up, Rosalie. So did Zade. We both had too much to drink. It never should have happened, and we both agreed to shake it off and be friends. Like I said, Arden’s Glen is too small to sweep it under the rug. But I want you to know that, for better or worse, I didn’t mean anything to Zade. He loves you, Rosalie. I saw the way he looked at you at my wedding. He looks at you like Mitch looks at me, and the way Egan looks at Celeste. We all have someone who’s meant to be ours. Zade is yours, Rosalie. Only and fully yours.”
Rosalie was tearing up and swiped at her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
“I’m sorry that it happened. Especially now that I do know you. I wish I could go back and change things. I really do. So I hope you can forgive me, and forgive Zade. You deserve the kind of love that you could have with him. And he’d be the luckiest bastard in Arden’s Glen if you decide he’s truly, fully yours, as well.
Rosalie grinned through her tears.
“You already love him, don’t you?”
Rosalie nodded.
“Have you told him?”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Last night was the first time I let my guard down enough to tell him how I feel.”
“What are you going to do?” Dez asked. “I mean, with you living in California and all. Long distance relationships are tough.”
Rosalie sighed. “Yeah, I know. The last few months have been hell, Dez. Pure hell. It wasn’t just about not making friends out there, though that was way harder than I expected. I know I should probably give it more time, but I really didn’t connect with the city. Parts of it are beautiful, and it’s almost always sunny, but the energy there was so dense. It was like walking through soup every day. I guess I never realized how much I loved Arden’s Glen until I left.
“And then there’s the matter of Zade.” Rosalie picked at the knit fabric of the cranberry-colored, crop-top sweater she’d worn for the day. “I’ve never loved a man before, Dez. It’s scary as fuck.”
Dez laughed. “Yeah, it is. I used to think unconditional love didn’t exist. But it can. And when it does, it’s everything. But it takes work, and sometimes sacrifice. Is he willing to sacrifice for you?”
Rosalie shrugged. “I don’t know. But, honestly, it doesn’t matter. I’ve actually made my mind up to come back home.”
“Really?” Dez asked, arching a brow at her friend. “Is that the smartest thing to do with your new job? Will you even be able to keep it?”
“I can’t explain it, but I opened up my heart while I was out there and really dared to dream about what would make me happy—if there were no limitations or barriers.”
“And what was the answer?”
“I want it all. I want to live in my beautiful hometown, where I can be outdoors in nature every day. Where smog doesn’t clog my veins, and I don’t have to sit in traffic for an hour to get to work every day—which isn’t even that far, by the way.”
“Yeah, that would suck,” Dez agreed.
“But I want to host the TV show still, for now. I learned that I love talking to people and finding out what’s important to them. I like uncovering answers that have helped inspire them to move forward and embrace their city, or close a chapter of their lives. I liked using my brain and my intuition to solve these mysteries. It was exhilarating to uncover the truth through my visions and the artifacts I dug up with the residents. I was able to make believers out of skeptics,” she said. “That may’ve been the best part, honestly.”
“People just have to know you to love you, Rosalie. As soon as they really know who you are, and learn how genuine your work is, they can’t help but see the real you. I know it hasn’t always been easy growing up here, and I’m sorry for that. But, man, I wish you could’ve seen the pride in the way the town was supporting you when the show aired. I think Arden’s Glen might deserve a second chance.”
“I think so, too,” Rosalie whispered. “I don’t know where my relationship with Zade is going. I just want to be here with him. I want to explore what we have and build on it. If I’m honest—I want the white picket fence. The kids,” she said, looking at Dez’s belly. “I want hot sex every day with the man I love. I want the laughter that’s inevitable when I’m around him. And I want to keep growing and pushing myself. I want to help more people here, in Arden’s Glen.”
“I think that’s a splendid plan,” Dez said, then grimaced. “Oof. Damn bugger really knows just the wrong place to rest those bony feet. I’ve got to go to the restroom again already.”
Rosalie laughed, then stood, offering her hand to her friend. “I have to go anyway. I need to get groceries then go have brunch with Brecken. I’ll see y’all later. I can’t wait to see the kids’ sweet faces again this year at the hospital. I’m so happy I didn’t miss this tradition.”
Dez hugged her friend the best she could with her burgeoning bump between them. “You’ll see,” she whispered to Rosalie. “When things finally fall into place, it’s all worth it. The struggle, the pain of your past, having to face your fears and be vulnerable. I’d do it a hundred times over to get where I am today with Mitch.”
“Thanks, Dez. And thank you for talking through the whole, you know . . .”
“We’re friends, Rosalie. Your feelings are important to me. Now, go enjoy brunch. I think I’m taking a nap in here, and Celeste and everyone else will just have to handle the kids’ social.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Rosalie teased.
“Napping is always a good plan!” Dez agreed before hobbling out of the office and toward the restroom again.
Rosalie waved goodbye to everyone and was surprised when she got a hug from Mitch on her way out. He whispered into her ear, “Go all in, Rosalie. He’s worth it. I gave him a bit of a hard time at first, but he’s one of the good guys. And I don’t want to see you with anyone less than you deserve.”
“Thanks, Mitch. That means a lot to me.”
She couldn’t wait to see Zade later that afternoon, after her brunch with Brecken. If she had her druthers, she’d stay in bed all day with him and not emerge at all for anything. But it was Christmas Eve, and it was a day for miracles.
ZADE PACED NERVOUSLY back and forth. Rosalie was thirty minutes late and hadn’t texted yet, which wasn’t like her. He pulled out his phone, debating whether or not to call Brecken and ask if they were done with their brunch, when he saw her pull up in his SUV. Damn, she looked sexy behind the wheel of his car. He could imagine her in ten years shuffling their kids around to soccer games and after-school activities. He grinned, his cheeks heating with excitement and nervous anticipation.
His hands fumbled over the ring in his pocket, and he had to hold onto the side of the gazebo to steady himself.
Rosalie walked slowly over to where he stood, and the nearer she got, the more he saw the pain that was ravishing her eyes. He ran toward her, pulling her into a hug.
“What is it?” he asked, rubbing her back. “What’s going on?”
Rosalie shook her head and began crying against his chest, so he held her there, feeling as if his heart was being ripped out and shredded right along with hers. It gutted him to see her cry, and her body shook with the weight of whatever was casting shadows on her so
ul.
“Want to sit down and talk?” he asked.
Rosalie shook her head and looked up at him, her lashes wet from tears he didn’t know the source of. “Can we go home? Please?”
Well, crap. There went his romantic proposal at the park outside the church where they first officially met. But Rosalie was shaking, from both the cold and the pain she was drowning in. He nodded, taking her hand and leading her back to the SUV. “Here,” he said, “give me the keys.”
She handed them over wordlessly and got in. They were only a few blocks from his condo, so he didn’t even admonish her for not buckling up when she curled against the window and cried silently.
The elevator ride felt like the longest in history. When they got into the condo, Rosalie unzipped her tall, black Harley boots and kicked them to the side, not even bothering to put them away. Zade followed her into the living area of the loft and watched as she curled up on his sofa under the chunky, cable-knit blanket again. It had become her personal favorite and go-to blanket when she was at his place. He considered it Rosalie’s blanket now.
He sat next to her, resting his hand on her knee but not saying anything. He’d let her take things at her own pace.
“He’s gambling, Zade,” Rosalie said. “Fucking gambling.”
“Who?”
“Brecken,” she said, looking at him finally. Her eyes were bloodshot, and Zade knew these tears hadn’t been her first today.
“What kind of gambling?” he asked, but then his mind flashed back to the overly slick, burly guy in the alleyway, and he knew it probably wasn’t the up-and-up type.
“Anything. Everything.”
“Why?” Zade asked.
“That’s the million-dollar question.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
Rosalie shook her head no and worried the corner of her lip. “I don’t think so. He’s in really deep. He was floating one bet to pay back another and got in way over his head. So, he borrowed some money from someone rather unsavory, who just so happened to pay him a visit while I was at the grocery store getting our food for brunch.”
Zade tensed up, balling his fists. If that asshole hurt Rosalie . . .
“Did Murphey hurt you?”
“How—”
“It’s a long story, Rosalie. Did. He. Hurt. You?” he gritted out, lifting her chin and looking at all angles of her face and throat. Christmas Eve or not, if he laid one finger on the woman he loved, Zade would be hunting the bastard down and doing something he’d probably lose his license over.
“I’m fine, Zade. Really. Brecken, on the other hand, has seen better days.”
“Does he need to go to the hospital?”
“Probably. But he wouldn’t let me take him.”
“Yeah, he did the same thing to me.”
“When?”
Zade sighed. “Before you left. I caught him getting a little shakedown. The guy left before I could call the police. And Brecken promised it was nothing big and wouldn’t happen again. But, he did come to me a few months ago and asked me for a loan.”
“Oh, God,” Rosalie said, covering her face. “I am so sorry. I cannot believe my brother is asking you for money.”
“It wouldn’t have been a big deal, and I would’ve given it to him if he had any plan in place as to how he was going to pay it back. He wouldn’t even tell me what he was into, or commit to getting help. I couldn’t, Rosalie. Not without knowing he’d quit and not do it again. I didn’t want to enable him and make it worse.”
“I know. I’m not blaming you, Zade. This is all on Brecken. And I’m scared for him. Really scared.”
“What happened?”
“That guy—Murphey—he roughed him up a bit. Brecken told me to stay the fuck out of it. I basically told him if he wanted his money, then I couldn’t.”
“Oh, Rosalie. Tell me you didn’t.”
“I had to, Zade. I was afraid that man would kill him. I just need Brecken out of this mess.”
“So did you pay him?”
“Not yet. But I promised I would wire him the rest of the money Brecken owes. If I don’t, then”—Rosalie bit her lip again—“I can’t go there. Can’t think about anything happening to my brother.”
“We have to go to the police, Rosalie. This is extortion.”
“No. It isn’t. It’s a bad choice on Brecken’s part to rob Peter to pay Paul. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong guy to do business with.”
“How’d he even meet a guy like Murphey?”
Rosalie sighed, shifting on the couch. “Charlotte. Said he went there to bet on some games, meet some new contacts apparently. He got the name through a friend who told him how he could get out of his gambling debts.”
“Some friend.”
“Right?” Rosalie shook her head. “The bottom line is he owes this guy Murphey a hundred grand, and—”
“I’m sorry, how much did you say?”
“A hundred thousand dollars.”
“No wonder the guy’s on his ass.”
“Yeah. He got part of the money from reverse mortgaging the house and selling a few of our things, but he needs the rest from me.”
“Is that where those items went then? From the break-in?”
Rosalie nodded. “I assume so. Zade, you should see our house. There’s so much missing that I thought Brecken was moving out.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling her close. She rested her head against his shoulder. “Is there anything I can do? I can lend you the money if you need. I don’t want it to come to this.”
“No,” she said, pulling back. “I got a small inheritance from our parents when they passed away. It wasn’t much, but I haven’t had to touch it much. Brecken used most of his to open the café. I can give him what I have left. It won’t pay off the mortgage, but it’ll be enough to help him bridge the gap with what he owes Murphey. At least save his legs until he can figure out how to pay everything else back.”
“Man, what a mess. You know he has to get help, though. Right? If he doesn’t, it’s just going to keep cycling.”
“I know,” Rosalie said. “But he’s got to want to get help first. And, honestly, I’m scared for him. I couldn’t bail him out a second time if I wanted to.”
“You know I’m here for you if you need anything at all.”
“I do,” she said quietly, and it was the best-sounding words Zade heard all day. I do. Unfortunately, it still wasn’t the right time to pop the question. He wanted the moment to be theirs, and theirs alone. Untarnished from the bad energy of Brecken’s reckless actions.
“So, is Brecken alone for Christmas Eve? Do you want to go back home to be with him?”
“No, though I appreciate you being so concerned about him. After how he’s treated you, it’s more than he deserves,” Rosalie said, tracing a circle with her fingers on the back of his hand. “He took some painkillers he got from God knows where. It’s enough to knock a horse out. He’s out cold. He said his ‘friend’ is coming back over later—the one I caught him with this morning. Lord only knows where he picked her up.”
“That sounds lonely,” Zade said. “I’m glad I’m not alone on Christmas Eve.”
“Me, too,” she whispered, finding his lips. There was nothing he wanted more than to lose himself in her and pass the night away in her arms.
“Can I take a quick nap before we head to the children’s hospital?” Rosalie asked. “I’m so tired. I don’t think my body’s adjusted to the time-zone change yet. And,” she smiled coyly up at Zade, “someone kept me up all last night. Not that I’m complaining.”
“Someone can keep you up all night tonight, too, if you want,” he growled.
“But then how would Santa come?” she teased.
“Oh, Santa will still come,” he said, devilishly grinning. “He’s got something big planned for you, Rosalie.”
Rosalie swatted at Zade. “Take a nap with me?”
“I’d like nothing more, babe.”
Zade picked her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs, where he laid her gently on their bed. Their bed. It was an honest Freudian slip, but Zade could hardly wait for it to be true. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day to ask.
HANDING OUT THE blankets to the children in the hospital was fun, but difficult. It was always hard to see little ones sick over the holidays, but it made Rosalie’s entire year to see their faces light up when she handed them something soft to comfort them. Her heart constricted, remembering how just the year before she’d met Andrew, her heart so full of hope for the twelve year old’s future. There were some things even Rosalie’s psychic abilities couldn’t foresee. She said a prayer over each blanket as she handed them to the children, asking for protection and healing for those receiving them.
When they were done, the hospital had a little outdoor hot chocolate café set up for the volunteers, and Rosalie and Zade gathered with their friends before heading home. Inez surprised Rosalie when she asked if she could pull her aside. They sat huddled up in a set of club chairs, the outdoor fire pit keeping them nice and toasty.
As soon as she sat across from the woman, an image slammed into her mind. It was of Arden clutching her newborn baby in her arms. The baby was light brown like Rosalie, with a shock of black hair. It was Manuel’s, as Rosalie learned from the letters. The woman was weak from labor, but she didn’t want to let the baby go.
“You have to give me the baby,” the woman said. Her aunt. It was Elizabeth. “Arden, I promise I’ll keep her safe until they finish up with you. But you’re bleeding, and I don’t want you to drop the baby.”
Arden was coming in and out of consciousness, and Rosalie could only make out small pieces of the room and who was there with her. It was as if she was seeing through Arden’s blurry eyes, and the scene horrified Rosalie. There was so much blood. Arden was in severe pain, and it felt as if her intestines were on fire, outside of her body. She watched as the woman clutched the sheets, crying.
