Felicity paused for a long moment. “You and I have had a lot of conversations about facing fear, right? That when we get over being afraid of something, another thing will probably crop up that we’ll be scared of. Therefore, it’s not about the things we fear, but the courage to tackle them?”
Isla nodded.
Felicity placed her hands on her chest. “I’ve looked back at how far I’ve come, and I’m so proud of myself. So, with the progress I’ve made, am I still going to continue to wrap my heart in cotton wool, or do I give myself permission to experience more out of life? I don’t know if I’m just too damned attracted to Aidan that I’m willing to be blind to what could happen afterwards. Or am I really so courageous these days that I’m ready for any repercussion? I don’t know. But, in the end, I have to believe I’m now more equipped to handle far bigger disappointments than I ever did before. Otherwise, what would have been the point of three years of therapy? I just want to feel…freer.”
Isla squeezed her hand, her eyes pooling.
“Oh, don’t do that,” Felicity said, tearing up herself.
“Whatever you decide, whatever the repercussions, you know I’ll always be there for you.”
“I know. Thank you.” Then, it hit her. “Oh my God. I think I just made my final decision, huh?”
Isla’s chuckle sounded a tad resigned. “I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you tell Aidan you want him to scratch your itch.”
Felicity felt her face heat up. “How do I ask him? You know I’m such an awkward flirt.”
“Just be yourself. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“Um…could you do me a favour, please?”
“Sure.”
“If you happen to talk to him before Sunday, can you tell him what I have in mind? If he indicates he’s not interested, then let me know so I won’t have to make a fool of myself—and not make him feel uncomfortable.”
Isla nodded. “Okay.”
“Great, thanks.”
Until then, Felicity didn’t know how was she going to get a decent night’s sleep.
Felicity took a plate of leftovers from the fridge and popped it in the microwave. She wasn’t hungry even though she’d hardly touched her burger during lunch with Isla earlier. But if she ate something, maybe the butterflies in her stomach would settle.
She couldn’t wait for Sunday so she could be put out of her misery. Unfortunately, there were four more days to go before she could find out if Aidan would agree to a few-nights stand.
Would Isla get the chance to speak to him before then? Gah. That would be another thing that would keep her up—wondering how the hunky man she was lusting after would react if Isla revealed what they’d talked about.
She filled a glass with iced tea and took a sip. What was Aidan’s favourite drink? At Isla’s party, she’d seen him have beer, a glass of red, a glass of white…and she could swear he had some iced tea.
“Hey, Aidan,” she said out loud. “Can you just get out of my head for a couple of days, please? Seriously!”
Her phone rang.
Ooh, that could be Isla.
She went to grab the device from the kitchen bench and let out a loud gasp. Aidan.
She composed herself for a few seconds before answering. “Hey, Aidan,” she said in as normal a tone as she could manage.
“Hi, Fel. How’s it going?”
“Good, thanks. You?”
“Great. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“No. Not interrupting at all.”
“Great! Well, um…”
Felicity frowned. Were those nerves she’d heard in Aidan’s voice? Oh, gosh. Was she going to get good news or bad news?
“Isla rang me a few minutes ago,” Aidan continued.
“Uh-huh,” she said breathlessly.
“She said you had lunch with her today.”
“Yes.”
“Um…I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me?”
Felicity looked at her microwave, her lips curving up. “Are you…asking me out?”
“Well, I thought it would be nice to have dinner and chat…”
Anxiety crept up her chest. Was Aidan planning to be gentlemanly and let her down over dinner?
Argh, she needed relief from all the tension she’d been feeling for days. Might as well be more frank. If Aidan wanted to say no to her proposition, she’d rather he told her now. “To be honest, I’m so nervous. I don’t know if you’re open to a hook-up or not. I think I’d rather know your answer before I see you, so I won’t have to pray for the ground to swallow me up if you don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Aidan let out a laugh. “Hey, I’m all for it. I just thought it would be good to chat for a bit and settle our nerves. Isla told me this is new for you.”
Aww, how sweet. “Thank you. Now that you’re talking to me, I can’t believe that I’ve asked for it.”
“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”
The disappointment in Aidan’s voice made her smile. “No. Just saying that I keep surprising myself.”
“Fel, I’m attracted to you, too. And, yes, we’re on the same page with what we both want out of this.”
“Oh, great! I’m so glad.”
“Me, too.”
“Okay, I’d love to have dinner with you. When?”
“Tomorrow night?”
“Sure.”
“Great!
“Oh, wait!” She made a face. “I can’t tomorrow night. A couple of buyers are turning up after work to check out some of our finished products, then some of the girls and I are staying behind to put finishing touches on a few items before we put them up for sale. On Friday, I’m having dinner with friends. I’m free Saturday, though, or tonight...”
“Unfortunately, I’ve got something on Saturday. Tonight would be good, but I’ll only be able to do drinks as I can’t be there early enough. Is that okay?”
“Yes,” she said definitively. Drinks would be better than having to wait a few more days till she could see Aidan.
“Great. Is nine too late?”
“No, it’s perfect. I’ll be finished eating my leftovers by then.” she said with a giggle.
“Aww, I really wanted to take you out to dinner. If you’d prefer another day—”
“No! No. Drinks tonight is perfect. Honest. I was just babbling…” She cringed. Did she have to tell him that? Why couldn’t she keep her composure around this man?
“Okay. Text me your address, and I’ll see you at nine.”
“Okay.”
“See you soon, then.”
“Yes. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Felicity hung up and quickly texted her address to Aidan. Then, she slumped in the nearest chair. Gosh, that was surreal.
She rang Isla.
“Hi,” Isla answered. “Has Aidan called?”
“Yes. We’re having drinks tonight.”
“Really? Having a date already, huh?”
Felicity couldn’t help her giggle. “What exactly did you tell him?”
“What you wanted me to tell him—that if he’s open to it, you wouldn’t mind hooking up. I did also say that this is all new to you, and that you’re a bit shy and embarrassed enough not to ask him yourself. He was understanding and so gobsmacked! I think he couldn’t believe his luck. And he was very surprised that you’ve instigated it—albeit, through me.”
“Wow. I’m relieved he now knows. I’m just hoping that the whole experience won’t end up being disappointing because of my nerves getting in the way. I’m so nervous.”
“At least you guys are having drinks first. You can relax in each other’s company before you do the deed,” Isla said teasingly.
“Oh my God. Am I sleeping with him tonight already? I wasn’t expecting that it’s gonna be this soon.” She rushed to her bedroom to check herself in the mirror.
“Hey, if you’re not ready tonight, just tell him. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
>
Felicity shut her eyes. Things were happening so quickly now, after weeks of frustration. But the hardest bit was out of the way. Aidan was fully aware she had the hots for him. She was ready to make her fantasies come true now, right?
She couldn’t think of a good-enough reason to hold back. It wasn’t as if she was dating Aidan for the purpose of seeing if he was a long-term proposition. All she wanted was to get him out of her system.
“Fel? You there?”
“Yes. I better go and get ready for my date.”
“Okay. Have fun!”
“Thanks. I’ll let you know how tonight goes.”
Isla laughed. “Can’t wait.”
Felicity hung up, tossed her phone on her bed, and hurried to the shower. She was determined to enjoy herself and ignore the fear that kept poking her.
As long as she knew this was only a fling, whatever disappointment she might feel afterwards shouldn’t be overwhelming. Right?
Chapter 7
Aidan walked outside the veranda of Maricar’s country home. He stared at the beautifully landscaped garden, which was illuminated by lights strategically positioned on pathways and trees. The guest house beyond the swimming pool was dark except for the lone porch light which automatically turned on early in the evenings. The main five-bedroom house was set far away from the gate and perimeter fencing, making it the perfect place for an IR chief to hide out from a threat.
Not that Maricar could stay completely away from the goings-on in the Indie Rebels’ world, no matter the circumstances. Even when she was taking a break, he knew that she logged into their secure site to keep herself updated. Oftentimes, she called to give him advice, particularly when the cases were more dangerous than usual. Frankly, though, Maricar was more a worried mother than an interested chief when it came to him.
He smiled. Every day, he still thanked his lucky stars for Maricar’s loving guidance over the years. If it hadn’t been for this woman, he probably would’ve been a rebel of a very different kind.
He’d been such an angry, confused, and scared fifteen-year-old after his mother and father were killed. His parents had stated in their wills that a lady Aidan had never met would be his testamentary guardian. With no other relatives in the country, he’d ended up living with Maricar.
He'd run away a handful of times, resenting being told what to do by a person he’d hardly known. But Maricar had always found him.
Then, one night, whilst walking home from a friend’s, two men had tried to kidnap him. Fortunately, five individuals wearing all-black from head to foot had swarmed and captured the thugs. Luckily for Aidan, the IRs had intel that the same gang who’d killed his parents had believed Aidan could be in possession of evidence of criminal activities previously gathered by his mum and dad. A team of IR agents had started following him that night to keep him safe.
Aidan chuckled as he remembered pleading with his masked rescuers to let him join them. They hadn’t laughed at his request. Instead, they’d ask him to await further instructions.
The very next morning, he’d been initiated to the group. And, to his utter shock, Maricar had revealed her IR identity.
Maricar’s patience and care in showing him what the Indie Rebels were all about, and how his parents had been heroic IRs, had slowly but surely turned his negative emotions into pride, gratitude, and motivation. He hadn’t looked back since.
“Aidan!”
He turned around and grinned at the beautiful, petite woman with shoulder-length, silver hair. “How’re you feeling?” He kissed Maricar on the cheek and gave her a warm, gentle hug.
“I’m good. You?”
“Good. Hope they didn’t wake you because of me.”
“It’s dinnertime. Plus, I shouldn’t nap too much, anyway. But you should have woken me up earlier. Apparently, you arrived an hour ago.”
“Your nurses told me you don’t sleep enough at nights. Daytime naps are good for you.”
Maricar waved dismissively. “I’m fine. Let’s have dinner.”
“I’ll just sit with you while you eat. I’m already quite full as Petra’s been feeding me some leftovers. They’re yum! You know that she’s thinking you don’t like her cooking anymore?”
Maricar chuckled. “As if I won’t see through that lie to make me eat more. All of you should stop fussing.”
“You seem to have lost a little bit more weight since I last saw you,” he said chidingly, putting an arm around Maricar’s shoulders as they walked towards the kitchen.
“Nonsense. I feel fine.”
Aidan hid a sigh. Maricar did look fine today, although her doctor hadn’t been happy with the results of her recent blood tests. She hadn’t been given new instructions except to continue with her current medication and healthy diet to ensure she kept on top of the various ailments that were exacerbated by her advanced age.
They sat at the small table by the kitchen bay window—Maricar’s preferred place to eat when she wasn’t joined by her nurses or Petra, the cook.
“Some more, Aidan?” Petra asked as she placed a plate in front of Maricar.
“Oh, no, thanks. I’m stuffed. Delicious food as always, Petra,” he said with an appreciative smile.
“You wanna take some home? There’s plenty. We won’t finish them all.”
“It’s okay, thanks.”
“He won’t need leftovers for tomorrow night, because he’s going out on a date,” Maricar said with a wide grin.
“Oh, really?” Petra asked, looking as thrilled as Maricar.
Aidan frowned. “I’m not going out tomorrow.”
“I heard you earlier on the phone before I went to the bathroom.”
He laughed out loud. “Eavesdropper. But it’s not tomorrow. It’s tonight.”
“Tonight?” Maricar’s brows furrowed. “What time is it now?”
“Six-fifteen. I said I’ll pick her up at nine, so I still have an hour or so to spend with you.”
“Isn’t that a bit too late for dinner?”
“We’re only having drinks.”
“But why aren’t you taking her out to dinner? If you leave now, you can still get there at a decent time for a meal.”
Aidan rolled his eyes. “Not this again.”
“What do you mean not this again? You haven’t been out on a real date with anyone for so long. It’s been more than six years since you and Trish broke up.”
“That doesn’t mean I haven’t been out on dates,” he mumbled.
“I recall you saying they weren’t dates,” Maricar said dryly. “I don’t mean to pry into your private affairs, Aidan. But I can’t help but feel…sad.”
“Sad?”
Maricar took a forkful of her baked fish before answering. “If I thought you’d be happy being single forever, I wouldn’t worry. But I know that you really want to meet a special someone. You’ve got so much love to give, and you deserve to find a woman who’ll love you unconditionally, too.”
He smiled thinly. “That’ll be too much to ask someone I can’t tell my secrets to.”
“I know.” Maricar reached for his hand. “You’ve dedicated your life to the IR for twenty years. That’s more than what a lot of our agents have given to our group. And you know that, one day, you could be one of the chiefs, if that’s something you want. But this life is not your only option. You’ve done more than enough—way more than enough—to pay for all the help the IRs have given you.”
He cocked his head. “What are you saying?”
“If you want to become inactive so that you can have the best chance at keeping a relationship, no Indie Rebel will begrudge you that.”
Aidan stared at Maricar, unable to believe what she’d just said.
“We’ve had a lot of good agents—great agents—who have chosen to become inactive and never deal with any IR cases again,” Maricar said gently. “Now they’re in happy marriages, raising families they wouldn’t otherwise have if they hadn’t made that particular choice. If you can’t
find an IR to spend your life with, and if the woman you’re interested in cannot be an IR, then I just want you to know I’d be the first to cheer you on if you chose to become inactive.”
Aidan’s heart swelled for the woman in front of him. “Thank you. The thought hadn’t even occurred to me, but that means a lot coming from you.”
Maricar smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. “Of course, you haven’t thought of it. You’re such a loyal, principled man. You probably think being a lifetime IR is your path.”
“I do.”
“Well, even if you’re inactive, you’ll still be an IR, right? You’ll always be an IR even if you stop working on cases. What I’m trying to say is that you have a right to a happy, romantic relationship. If you find someone you can have that with, don’t let her go. Those of us who’ve never found an IR as life partners have never had that chance. I’m just lucky that when I was fifty, you came into my life and gave me the experience of being a mother,” Maricar said with a fond smile.
His heart expanded further. “And I was the luckiest kid to have had you for a mother, mentor, trainer, teacher, and friend, all rolled into one. Still am that lucky bastard.”
Maricar chuckled before sobering again. “I feel fulfilled with my life as an Indie Rebel. You were the incredible bonus I never expected. But one thing I’ve never experienced is the happiness of walking through life with a significant other for a significant amount of time. I’m repeating myself here, but I really want you to understand that if you want to pursue that, I’m all for it. And if it means becoming inactive and practically leaving the Indie Rebel life so you can achieve that, then please go for it.”
“Well, I’m nowhere near that with this woman. In fact, we’re only talking casual at this point.”
Maricar wrinkled her nose. “Don’t hold back if she could be the one.”
Aidan laughed. “You don’t even know her and you like her already?”
“I heard you say Fel, and that Isla spoke to you about something. I gathered it’s Isla’s best friend. I might not have met her yet, but I already know what a wonderful girl she is.”
“Like I said, eavesdropper,” Aidan said good-naturedly, shaking his head.
Aidan: The Rescue (Indie Rebels Book 5) Page 6
