“This is my child,” Jack said, with a hiss. “And my child is not a situation.”
Bodhi raised one eyebrow. “If you don’t cool it the hell down, it’s going to cause a situation. Daw, look. I know you like the girl, but I need you to be real for a minute here. You don’t have any way to know at this point. She hasn’t said it. She’s right; you didn’t come back for her. She’s not in danger now. Let’s make sure to keep it that way, alright?”
Jack looked longingly at the door, and Bodhi nudged his calf in a way that Jack wasn’t entirely willing to describe as a kick.
“Come on, man. Let’s get out of here before we cause a problem for the nice lady.”
Chapter Seven
For the second time in as many days, Mindy fought back the tears as she rushed through the kitchen. She didn’t head out the door this time, though; as frustrating as it was, she needed to put on a normal face for the rest of the world. Losing this job would be a disaster for her, especially with a baby on the way. Even if she took off in the middle of the night, who would hire a pregnant girl with a GED and some vague experience with odd jobs, retail, and waiting tables? In this market, she was sunk. She had a good thing going in this stupid town – if Jack Dawson would just quit messing it up.
That said, she figured five minutes to sob her heart out wasn’t asking for too much. She sank down into the old couch in the employee break room, the one she hadn’t noticed was musty until she was pregnant, and put her head in her hands. She let the tears come and didn’t try to stop them. She cried for the lonely child she had been. The kid who hit the road the moment she looked old enough to be on her own. The kid who had done all sorts of stuff, only some of it legal, in order to stay safe over the years. The girl who bugged out of town as soon as people started to remember her name. The girl who now had no idea of how to build a life for herself, but who had decided to have a goddamn baby on her own.
“Bean, what are we going to do?” she asked herself, stroking her belly.
And then she heard a shuffling sound, and looked up, seeing Cook leaning against the door jam. “Sorry,” he said.
Shame rushed through her, and her cheeks went bright red. “I didn’t—you weren’t supposed to—”
“Figure out you were pregnant? Come on, Mindy. You started showing three weeks ago, and you spent two months barfing your guts out every time we had fish as a special. I’m not a genius, but I’m not an idiot.” Cook shook his head, then pulled a folding chair close to the couch, sitting down facing her. “What do you need?”
“I don’t know,” she muttered into her hands. “I need this to be easier than it is.”
“I can do a little of that,” he said. “I’ll bring on some extra help—make sure you get to spend part of your shift off your feet. Do you—I don’t mean to be an ass. Are you in contact with the father?”
She thought of Jackdaw, sitting outside in that booth, trying so hard, and her, so angry and refusing to accept any kind of kindness because what if she accepted it and it was withdrawn later? That would feel terrible, and she didn’t want it to be like that. And intellectually she understood concepts like if you don’t accept the attempts of other people to love you, you can’t be angry when they don’t love you, but her childhood had made that a lot easier to say than to believe.
“No,” she said. “No, I’m not.”
Cook seemed surprised. “Oh,” he said. “I thought—Dawson—”
She flinched at the name, and Cook’s eyes narrowed for just a moment.
“I see,” he said. “Does he know?”
She weighed the burden of doing this all on her own with the idea of having an actual friend, someone who wanted to be there to support her. Cook had been good to her, kind to her, helped her get set up when she rolled into town.
“No,” she said. “He’s figured out that I’m knocked up, and he suspects, but I haven’t confirmed it.”
“Any reason why not?” She shrugged, and Cook sighed. “He’s a good man, Dawson. Not a great man, not by any stretch, but he’s a good one, at least. I think you should tell him the truth.” She hesitated too long, and he shrugged. “Not my call. I’ll tell him and Bodhi to leave, alright? Tell them that they need to leave you be.”
She saw in his eyes that he would do it, and she thought fast. “No,” she finally said. “No, you’re right. I need to face this. I’ll take care of it.”
Mindy had taken a deep breath before she walked back out of the swinging doors. She didn’t want to do this, but she needed to do this.
Jack and his friend were just getting up from the booth. Jack looked up when she pushed the doors open. He hid it quickly, but the look of naked surprise bled quickly into pleasure before he locked down a more neutral, calm expression. She wanted to run and hide, but she needed to tell him the truth. And if she was going to be entirely honest, she’d had no idea how she was going to pay for the ongoing medical care as she needed to go to more regular appointments, never mind how she’d pay the hospital bill. She had no idea what Jackdaw’s finances were like, but maybe he’d be able to help out in some way? Plus, it only seemed fair to tell the man about his child. He hadn’t treated her badly, exactly, he’d just treated her without a lot of consideration. That could be worked through in a way other things couldn’t.
“Can we take a ride?” She held her gaze firmly on Jack’s face, refusing to look at his friend. She willed him to see what she was offering, what she needed. It only took a moment for him to nod.
“Cook’s okay with you taking off?” His voice lifted at the end like he was asking a question, but she sensed that it was absolutely a statement.
“Yeah, he understands.”
Jack nodded, then glanced at his friend, who nodded back. “This way,” Jack said, gesturing towards the diner’s main door. She walked out the door, and it amused her just a little that she knew which of the two bikes parked outside the diner was his. He handed her the helmet again, and she strapped it on, then climbed onto the bike behind him. “I know a place,” he added, his voice quiet and conversational, not acting like this was a momentous occasion that was going to shake both of their lives all the way down to the ground. Mindy put her head on his back, wrapped her arms around his waist, and held on tight.
Chapter Eight
As he sped out of town and onto a dusty old road, she decided that she could get used to this whole motorcycle thing. The combination of the intense vibrations of the engine and the feeling of Jackdaw’s solid body against hers had her breathing hard, and that was before the exhilaration of flying down the road in near perfect freedom.
She hadn’t really explored Providence; she’d lived and worked there, but the more she saw of a community, the more she wanted to stay there, and that made it harder when the time came to move on. Jack took her just outside the city limits and then turned the bike off the road entirely. He slowed down dramatically and led them down a dirt road that was lined on both sides with trees. She let herself relax a little, leaning back and admiring the view. And then they came out of the trees, and a big open body of water lay in front of her. She gasped just a little; she knew there was a big lake nearby, but she hadn’t thought of how big it might be. She’d never bothered going to check it out.
Jack cut the engine and walked the bike to a spot under some trees where a bench had been planted down into the ground. He set the bike down and helped her off, but didn’t immediately drop her hand once she was on both feet next to him. He made her body sing, even now, and she spent a moment luxuriating in the sensation of feeling someone else close to her who she was attracted to. She’d been uninterested in partnered sex since she’d found out she was pregnant; it wasn’t that she felt unattractive, just that it felt pointless. She was so horny, but she wasn’t the kind of horny that would be fed by sex with someone she didn’t know. Her vibrator had gotten quite a workout the last few weeks, but holding his hand, she couldn’t help remembering his hands on her body, lifting her up so that he cou
ld split her open…
She shook her head to banish the thought. She was here on a mission, but now that she was standing there, and he was looking at her expectantly, she couldn’t find the words.
Mindy let her hand fall out of Jack’s and walked to the edge of the water. She bent down, surprised at how much Bean was already constricting her ability to move. She’d never realized before that pregnant ladies had such a firm, unyielding mass in the center of their bodies, and how much it changed movements and posture. She managed to get down there and get her hands on a few flat, rounded rocks. She skipped them out into the open water, enjoying the sound of the rock moving over the mild waves. She appreciated that Jack didn’t come up behind her or try to talk to her. He gave her the space she needed to find her own peace with the words she needed to say.
“I can’t prove it,” she finally said, three or four rocks in. “I mean. I can tell you I know it’s yours, but I can’t prove it, so if that’s where you’re going to go with this conversation, let’s just be done already.”
She glanced behind him, but he was shaking his head. “If you say it’s mine, I trust you. Timing’s right and God knows we weren’t careful.”
“I was on the pill,” she said, and she tried to push the defensiveness out of her voice. “But I missed a couple because—well, there we were—and I guess that was enough.”
He nodded this time. “I’m not looking to blame you. I was there. I could have said no, either not done it, or gone for condoms. This isn’t your fault.” He was quiet for a bit, then seemed to settle on the right words. “I’m not saying it’s not a lot. I never planned to be a father. But there’s a lot I didn’t plan, and I’m not going to disappear on you. If you’re keeping the baby, I want to be there for everything you’ll have me for.”
“We don’t know each other much at all.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to talk him into staying or out of it. Maybe the fact that she wasn’t sure was a good thing? She didn’t know that either.
“That’s true,” he said. “But it seems we’ll have some time to change that.”
She considered. She considered doing it all on her own, but having the freedom she’d always craved, and she considered committing to this town and this life and this choice. She wasn’t sure at all when she nodded her agreement, but it was at least worth a try.
“Alright,” she said. “Okay. But I need to know. What are we talking about right now? Are we going to be, what? Co-parents, friends, or a couple?”
He held his hand out to her, and after a moment, she dropped the last rock she was holding back to the dirt and walked to him, letting her fingers tighten in his. “When you’re here, like this, what are you thinking about?”
She forced her breath to even out. “It feels good to be holding your hand.”
“Just good?” There was something in his eyes, a spark, that made her think it was much more than just good for him.
Mindy took a breath, decided to be brave, and then stepped closer to him. Jackdaw wrapped his arms around her waist as she stepped into his arms and put her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart underneath it, big and strong and solid. “This feels better.”
He exhaled deep and slow. “How about this?” He tugged, and she was tight against him. The bump was in the way, making it more awkward than it had been before, but not so awkward she wanted to step back.
“That’s very, very good.” She tilted her head back to look at him, and he obliged her with a kiss. The press of their lips together was electric; sparkling through her in such bright arcs that she thought her fingertips might overheat and light his shirt on fire. It wasn’t the mindless passion of that first kiss in the tiny, dirty room, but it was more than a friendly gesture. She felt him swell and stiffen against her, and she wrapped her arms tight around his neck, pulling herself up onto her tiptoes. He steadied her weight, turning against her to deepen the kiss as his tongue brushed over her mouth. He sought entrance to her like a man coming home after a long journey, and she opened to him eagerly. It didn’t take much to get her eager these days, but between the vibration of the motorcycle and the heat of the kiss, she felt control slipping through her fingers. She groaned into his mouth, and he responded in kind.
“What are the rules?” he murmured. “Can I touch you? Can we hurt it?”
“We’re not going to hurt it,” she said. “You can touch me.”
He didn’t need another word; his fingers were lifting her skirt, pushing aside her panties, and plundering her body. She stiffened fast, her body on high alert. His attention was so fierce that she almost lifted up off her feet. She clung to him, her knees going weak as he circled her clit, fast and tight. How did he remember just the right rhythm after so many months? After those few days, he’d played her body like a master musician, but she’d been so sure she’d forgotten.
“Jack,” she murmured into his mouth. “Jack, oh God.”
“Let go,” he whispered back. “Come for me, Mindy-girl, come for me and come back to me.”
She did, and she did.
Chapter Nine
The difference in how Mindy held onto him as they headed back into town was subtle, but he couldn’t help but notice it. She was resting on him instead of holding herself away. It felt beyond amazing. Having her on his fingers like that had been incredible, feeling her silent orgasm as she shook against him, cradling her after as she cried—it had been the sort of thing he never dared to dream of. He found himself thinking of her in terms of a family; lives spent together, growing old together. He’d never considered that he was a man who could have a future before. He’d thought he would be a brutal soul floating from place to place until he ran out of time and died alone.
But having Mindy resting against him, he couldn’t shake the idea that maybe it could work out. Maybe he could be enough of a person to be with her. To be a father to the baby. She called it Bean, it turned out. She’d told him the story, and he’d found himself brushing his fingertips over her bump like a man entirely smitten. He regretted that he was only here now; that he hadn’t been there during the first few months when it sounded like things had been hard. When she’d needed someone to hold back her hair and tell her it would get better eventually.
But he also needed to admit that it wasn’t going to be as easy as he wanted it to be. What he’d said to Bodhi was true; if the Wardens got wind of this, they’d be merciless. They’d come at him through Mindy. They still blamed him for the death of Grim, and they didn’t believe any evidence to the contrary. They’d do anything necessary to hurt him. So, he was going to have to do something to protect the woman and his unborn child. Maybe bring her to the clubhouse and set her up in his suite. It was a nice place, really, not the old bar sort of man’s club that the Wardens had, back when they and the Chain Gang had been interchangeable. She’d be happy there, and he’d be able to keep her safe. Absolutely. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He needed to protect both her and the baby. The best way to do that was clearly to keep her where he could see her.
As they cut through the wind, he felt the conviction grow; he couldn’t let Mindy go back to that apartment on her own. He’d seen the outside; it wasn’t a safe place. It wasn’t bad, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn’t a good apartment. It wasn’t safe. Not for the mother of his child. They’d stop by the diner so that she could let Cook know everything was all right, and so she could collect her things, and then they’d be on their way. He’d take her to the clubhouse, send some of the girls by later to pack up her things, and he’d have her in the perfect place. Where he could protect her.
He pulled up to the diner with those thoughts in his mind and cut the engine to the bike in the dust outside the front door. Cook was standing outside, bouncing on the balls of his feet, with a straight-up squirrelly look to him. Jack didn’t like it at all; he’d never quite worked his way around to trusting Cook, not all the way. The man was decent enough, but he had some dark stuff in his
past, stuff most people in Providence didn’t know about. Nothing horrible, but gambling debts, some old drug problems, things like that. Someone could apply a disproportionate amount of leverage to the man, and he’d crumple like tin foil. That just wasn’t the kind of guy who made it safe for a club, but tradition was tradition. God knew the Chain Gang had seen enough trouble in the past few years without him looking to start changing around small things like where the club spent their time. It would work itself out eventually.
But seeing Cook out there like that, when he was already feeling so protective of Mindy; something inside of him just snapped taut without warning.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked as soon as the roar of the bike’s engine died off.
“You two ran off,” Cook said, and Jack didn’t believe the note of concern in the man’s voice, not for a moment. “I was worried something was wrong.”
BIKER DADDY: The Chain Gang MC Page 4
