by Kate Swain
“Hey, Amelia,” Tanya said gently, as we piled into the back of the taxi, coats held tight around us. “What’s up? You’re shaking. Did you see that guy?” She knew a bit about Luke and my past—as much as I wanted her to.
“No,” I whispered.
I shut my eyes. I didn’t want to feel like this, but at the same time, it felt so good.
“I kissed him,” I whispered.
“You kissed who?” Tanya sounded shocked. “Not that guy, I hope. Because I’ll beat him up myself if he dared lay a hand on you! The nerve!”
“Not him.” I chuckled weakly. Tanya’s threatening behavior, which touched me deeply, suddenly turned playful. “Carter Brand.”
“Carter Brand!” She yelled and grinned ear to ear. “Oh, Amelia! Great stuff.”
“Tanya,” I whispered, pointing to the driver, who was doing a great job of listening without saying a word. “Please. Not here.”
“Fine,” she nodded, then grinned. “That’s so great! I’m pleased.”
“It’s not like we’re going to start seeing each other or anything,” I said firmly.
She just looked at me.
We got to her place, and she went up ahead of me, singing softly. She grinned, again, and waved goodnight as she went into the shower. I sat down on the couch, feeling exhausted.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. It was like my mind was stuck. The more I tried to forget about it, the more my body ached to feel his hard body pressed against mine again.
“Come on, Amelia,” I told myself. “He’s a guy. You know you can meet other men.” I hadn’t really had much interest in guys lately, mainly due to being stalked by my mom’s friend. I had forgotten what it was like to feel that excitement and desire, I reminded myself.
I have never felt anything like this in my life.
I recalled the way his lips had tasted mine, his tongue sliding into mine, the tasting, and touching. I thought about his powerful body and how I wanted him. That kiss was different from the other kisses that had usually been clumsy or hasty. I could not help but think how sweet it was exploring with Carter tonight. I was aroused.
Tanya came out of the shower. I heard her go across the floor, and then a creak as she sat down on the bed. A few moments later, I heard her lie down and roll over. She was probably already asleep.
I crept into the shower and washed myself with cold water. I had hoped the cold water would cool me down, but when I sat down on the couch, my body was as aroused as it was before. I could not stop thinking about him.
My hand moved between my thighs. I felt dampness there. I groaned.
Touching myself, feeling my clit already swollen, I imagined Carter there. I thought about how he would touch me, his hand stroking me, playing with me. His strong fingers would find my big, swollen clit, stroking it with pressure again and again and again…
I touched myself, feeling my longing grow. I was aching with longing, imagining Carter’s strong body pressed to me, his thick hardness pushing into me inch by inch, filling me up. He would be big, I knew that, and he’d fill me slowly, his cock hard and stretching me as he lowered his body onto mine, his eyes holding mine as he moved.
I could feel myself getting closer, and I gasped and then moaned as wetness flooded from me. I was panting, and I realized that I’d never actually made myself finish. I shut my eyes and felt the energy flood from me.
I must have fallen asleep after that because the next thing I knew, I could hear water boiling and Tanya having a chat on the phone with a colleague. The smell of coffee hung in the air, and the sounds of cars and trucks in the roadway awakened me to a bright new day.
13
Carter
I woke up and squinted into the morning. It was Monday. My alarm clock was practically jumping up and down, and my ears hurt, so I turned it off and groaned.
“Damn it.”
I rolled out of bed and went to the shower, turning it on cold. Every morning, in fact, since I’d kissed her Friday, I’d woken up with thoughts of Amelia. I had hoped that this morning would be an exception, but it proved to be identical to Saturday and Sunday.
“And that doesn’t help when you’re about to see her in your front office, at your shop, in a little bit.”
I got out of the shower and got dressed, deliberately not checking my appearance a second time, even though I was now concerned with how I looked. I wanted to look good, even great, but I shouldn’t care what Amelia thought of me. I was her boss. That was, I thought, all she saw in me.
“She was drunk, Carter.”
I glared at myself in the rearview mirror of my car when I got in. I paused and, in an impulsive moment, decided to take my motorcycle instead. I needed the relaxation of riding it, feeling free and independent. I was already anxious about going to work.
I slipped on my helmet, sat down on the soft leather seat, felt the roar as I started up the smooth engine, then headed into Monday morning traffic. I stopped at a light, hearing horns blaring around me as, just like every morning, the drivers behind me decided to declare their impatience with the lights, the other drivers, and the world in general. And, especially at me, a biker.
For once, I understood how they felt. I had a good sense of distaste for the world myself right now. Instead of being free and unconstrained on my bike, I felt trapped in a world that compelled me to drive through traffic during rush hour only to arrive at a place where I’d be forced into close contact with someone I wasn’t ready to face. I felt like a prisoner behind the wheel, unable to change the course of my destiny.
I still felt restless even after the weekend. I had watched an NFL game with friends, lunched with friends, and had a jog, but I was still not settled or ready for work. I couldn’t stop thinking of Amelia and wondering what she was thinking about what happened Friday night and, more importantly, about me.
“Carter, pull yourself together,” I told myself, as I followed the traffic rolling along up the road and towards the main highway that would take me to the industrial zone. “It was just because you were both stressed last week.”
I had a hard week, and so had Amelia. We were two adults, and stress did funny things to people. We should forget about it.
As I got off of the motorcycle, I grabbed my rucksack and walked to a box that had arrived on Saturday for the job we’d be doing. After opening the box and looking at the small parts, special tape for the paint job, and a handle, I decided something.
“I’m going to just pretend it never happened.”
I let out a steadying breath. I tried to better understand why I’d been feeling so much stress. It wasn’t so much the kiss, which could be explained, or my response to it, which still surprises me. It was the fact that I’d been drunk and kissed Amelia, and now I’d have to face her at work, with no idea how she might be thinking of me.
“Morning,” I called, steeling myself as I walked past the workshop. Mark had been quiet all weekend, and I had a feeling he knew.
“Hey,” Matthew called. “Good to see you. We’ve just got started on the new job… is that good?”
“Yes. Absolutely,” I nodded, surprised by the efficiency of my brothers. I could see Mark at work, and Adam was busy cleaning the bike they were going to work on.
I paused and strode past the office.
“Good morning,” I said. My voice had a forced quality about it, and my smile, I was sure, looked ghastly. I waited.
Amelia barely looked up. She was reading through a report. “Morning, boss,” she said.
I walked into my office and shut the door, feeling annoyed.
“She could at least look up.”
I turned on my laptop and realized that I was being ridiculous. I was dreading her response all weekend—worried that she’d confront me, terrified she’d leave. And now, when she ignored me, I was mad?
“You’re being stupid.”
I shook my head at myself and tried to lean into my work, feeling unfocused. I needed to forget about t
his whole affair and finish putting in the parts and supplies orders. There were repairs in the shop waiting for me.
I went to the online BMW parts company and ordered the timing-chain we needed. We would need it by tomorrow. I printed the receipt. I picked it up from the printer and paused, remembering that I wanted to ask Amelia if she’d get everything in order for our tax accountant.
“Hi?” I paused at the door of the office. She was on the phone. She frowned at me, and I turned to go, then waited.
“And, thanks so much for calling. You’re scheduled for Wednesday,” she said to the client. I heard them laugh and exchange goodbyes, then she hung up. She looked at me.
“Sorry,” I said, feeling reduced by her stare.
“What?” she asked. “Did you need something?”
“Yeah,” I said, uneasy. “I needed to ask you if you’d filed all of the receipts for taxes?” It annoyed me that she was so calm, so indifferent.
She stared like she thought I was insane. “Sure… they’re up there.” She gestured to a file on a shelf in the storage room. I tensed.
“I’d like them to take to our accountant later on.” I managed to say. My voice was gruff. I cleared it.
“Sure,” she said. “Is there anything else I can do?” Her voice was lilting.
I was standing opposite her, staring at her sweet face. I could feel my body respond, even though I hated it. I wanted her, and I also wished I could walk out and never come back in. I felt so shy and dumb around her. I wished she would say something nice, or anything, really, besides these formalities. For that matter, I wish I could too. Why was I so pathetic around her?
“No,” I said. “Thank you.”
“Fine,” she said lightly. “Two more bikes came in this morning for repairs.”
“I’ll tell the guys,” I said.
“Great. Good.”
She looked blankly at me. I felt small. It was as if my whole existence had just been assessed, and I’d been found wanting. She might have said something, maybe letting me know what she thought of the kiss. Or she could have told me how she felt about me.
I turned around and walked to my office, sitting down heavily and letting the door slam.
“It’s for the best.”
I tried to focus, but the more I tried, the more I found my mind wandering back to her. I wanted her to say something. To look at me, at least!
I finished the parts orders and then stood, wincing as my back cracked. The guys were working on the Honda. I decided I’d start on the other bike that had been brought in for a repair. If the repair was something quick, or something complicated, I usually worked on it. The custom and artsy stuff I left for the guys to do. I was a very logical person. Creativity didn’t suit me.
I wished, as I fiddled with the wheezing and sputtering engine, that I could immerse myself in the repairs and not bother with the day-to-day running of the business. I enjoyed the challenge of fixing bikes and handing them back, fully repaired, to their happy owners. It also distracted me from the world. Speaking of which, I was so lost in this repair that I hadn’t noticed how much time had passed.
“Hey! Carter!” Matt called. “It’s lunchtime.”
“Huh?” I frowned, then looked around. Afternoon light spilled through the windows. I realized he was right—it was one o’clock. I felt pleased that I had gone a full four hours without thinking about Amelia more than a few times.
“We’re going to the store,” Matthew said gently. “Can we get you something?”
“Nothing for me, thanks,” I said, wiping my oily hands clean on a rag. “I’ll finish up here and then go down. I’m thinking about calling it early today.”
Mark looked at me, and I could see compassion there. He nodded.
“Sure. I’ll finish the bike,” he added.
“No worries,” I said, wiping some oil off the gas tank. “I think it’s done. I’ll tidy up. Have a nice lunch.”
Matthew frowned at me, but they all went out. I could hear them laughing and joking as they went across the yard, teasing each other and indulging in general hijinks. After the gate clanked shut, the yard quietened.
I finished up the work, tidied up, and washed my hands. I was planning my drive back home when I looked out of my office window. There was a pickup truck parked in the parking lot of the warehouse across the street.
That, in itself, was fine. But the thing that bothered me was the fact that the truck had been there all morning. As far as I knew, there was hardly ever anyone checking on things at the warehouse. I knew the owner, and they stored big household wares there—mattresses, stoves, and other large appliances. They hardly ever had cause to go there, except with their delivery truck. And this was a red Ford, not theirs.
“Strange,” I murmured.
I didn’t know why, but something about the vehicle felt off. It was in bad condition, but I’d seen plenty of cars and bikes in bad condition, and I didn’t automatically feel this sense of unease. I couldn’t help wondering what it was doing there. The windows were tinted, but the parking lot was too far away for me to see if anybody was inside.
It’s probably nothing. I’m just stressed is all.
I still had a bad feeling about the truck, no matter how hard I tried to dismiss it. I couldn’t shake the thought that the truck had something to do with Amelia. Her encounter with that guy last week was on my mind.
“Tex?” I said, taking out my phone.
I waited for a while. When I thought he wasn’t going to answer, I heard a crackle, and somebody cleared their throat.
“Carter? Hi?”
“Hi, Tex!” I felt relieved to hear his solid, honest voice. “I just have a bad feeling about this truck, parked opposite us. I’m worried about Amelia. You got news about that creep?” He was silent for a moment, and I waited, then coughed. “Tex?”
“That’s crazy,” he said. He sounded shaken. I went tense. “I was about to call you. I went past Amelia’s place this morning on my way to work. I saw a truck there. A red one.”
I felt my heart sink into my shoes. “Really?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe it was nothing, but if you see an old red Ford truck there… it could be the same guy.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. I shivered. Glancing out at the truck again, I caught sight of someone inside this time. Whoever it was, they were there. I felt my heart thump. I decided to warn Amelia.
“I found out a bit about him, too,” Tex said. “Bad guy. He’s involved in bad shit—or, at least, from what I can gather, he might be involved in drug dealing.”
“What?” I yelled. I looked around, worried someone might have overheard. I didn’t know if Amelia was still working, or if she’d gone out with the rest of them. I glanced around, planning to go next door. “Sorry.”
“No worries,” Tex said. “I can come over in an hour if you want?”
“No… I got it,” I said, glancing at the truck. I would go over there myself and check it out. “Thanks, Tex.”
He hung up. I sat for a moment, thinking. I couldn’t very well go over and confront the guy. He wasn’t trespassing, and there was nothing else that I could accuse him of. I didn’t want to make things dangerous for Amelia, either. If he knew that she had told me, he might feel the urge to take it out on her. I wasn’t sure what to do. One thing I could do, I decided, was warn her.
I went into the shop. My brothers were working again, or at least I could see Matthew sitting on the floor, taking off the wheel guards. Adam was working on another bike in the corner. I heard Mark’s voice behind me.
“We’ll talk about it. For now, please, just take it? We’d all feel better. Don’t worry.”
I frowned. He was in Amelia’s office, and the voice that replied to him was Amelia’s voice.
“Thanks, really. But… only if you think he won’t…”
“There won’t be any trouble. We’ve been writing ads for months, and nobody’s even called. So please. Take it.”
“Thanks, Mar
k. I’ll feel much safer.”
I walked in.
Amelia was standing behind her desk, happy and smiling. Mark was in front of her. She was holding a shiny something, which transformed into keys as I looked closely. I frowned at Mark.
“I was just telling Amelia,” Mark said stiffly, “that the apartment upstairs is free. We’ve been advertising it for months, and it’s ideal for her. She’s going to be our tenant now.”
I glared at him, feeling annoyed. “How dare you…” I began.
Then I looked at Amelia’s face.
Her eyes were wide and shocked. She blinked and I saw her concern. She handed the keys wordlessly to Mark, shaking her head.
“Take them, Mark,” she said. “I shouldn’t move in. But thank you for the offer.”
14
Amelia
I stared.
Carter was standing opposite my desk, a look like thunder on his face. I shivered. Mark looked at him with an expression of disgust. I tensed. I didn’t want to cause trouble, and my office now had all this angry energy in it.
“Please,” I whispered. “I’ll just go.”
I didn’t know where I was going to go, or what I meant by that. All I knew was that I had to get out of this space right now.
Mark looked at me, as if he was about to argue, his face white and his eyes blazing. I took my coat off the hook and put it on.
“I should go,” I said to him, turning to the door. “I don’t want to stay here and…”
“No,” Carter said.
I stopped and turned around. Carter had spoken with raw authority, his voice firm. I felt confused, though I was also curious to hear what he would say next.
“No, don’t go,” he said, stunning me.
“What?” I whispered.
Carter looked at Mark, who stepped away from the desk, as if sensing that things were not going as badly as he thought. Then his blue stare returned to me.
