by Robin Roseau
Well, the lead wolf ran right into it and got a huge sniff of pepper into his nose. I could tell when it happened because he began howling and howling in pain.
The second one figured it out and went around all the pepper, but it took him some time, and Tyler gained some distance. The wolf with the pepper up his nose then used sight and sound to follow his buddy, and the two continued to chase my big brother.
I had to piece together what happened after that. I could hear that the wolves were very close to Tyler. He was using all his tricks, and he wasn't just trying to lose them, he was trying to lure them through the traps.
And he did. He got the lead wolf, the one with a working nose. Go, Tyler!
Stop worrying! This is crying. I haven't cried for my brother. I am fine. Go back to your seats. Lara, take this beer with you; I'd like more lemonade. Thank you, Scarlett.
Tyler got one of the wolves, but the other chased him out into a field. If the wolf had been scent tracking, Tyler would have gotten him, too. We had a couple of deadfalls on the edge of that field. Tyler could have run right over the top of one without disturbing it, but the wolf would have fallen in. But the wolf was sight tracking instead, so he cut the corner and missed the trap.
And caught my brother.
I heard him scream. I heard my brother scream. I heard the bones break, as the wolf crushed his leg. I-
Back off! I can cry for my brother. He died that day, and it's all my fault. It's my fault he's dead. It's my fault.
I'm sorry I yelled. I love you too, Lara.
The wolf followed his own trail backwards, eventually.
I stayed in my tree, but I gnawed at a branch until I chewed off most of it, and I gnawed more until what was left was sharp, nice and sharp. Then I chewed that part off the tree. And I waited, that stick in my mouth. When I got tired of holding it, I shifted to human, and imagine this little six-year-old girl, twenty-five feet up the tree, naked as a jaybird, holding onto her sharpened stick.
Yeah, it's a cute image, isn't it? I didn't have this lovely tattoo yet. Oh, Vivian, you haven't seen it yet. Yeah, I like it. Scarlett did it. Thank you again Scarlett. Vivian, order the alpha to show you hers, it's really good. Lara, don't be a spoilsport, I showed her mine, now it's your turn, or you won't see what else I let them do to me.
No! Angel! Do not rat me out. That's better.
All right. So the wolf was following his trail back. He managed to go around the pepper this time, and his nose was starting to work, but I imagine not very well yet. And he passed right below my tree, dragging my brother's body with him.
Oh god, he was dragging my brother's body.
The wolf got to the base of my tree, and he started sniffing. He could smell me. His nose was working.
I waited way up in the tree.
He dropped Tyler's body, right at the bottom of the tree. I could see it as I peered down through the branches, and I gasped.
The wolf heard me. He stopped, listened, and then, slowly, his nose going like crazy, he lifted his nose into the sky, and he was staring right at me.
He began to growl immediately. I began to tremble. I was only twenty-five feet away from a wolf, a verified killer, and I knew he was going to eat me.
Trees are easy to climb, you know. I dig my claws in, and up I go. Now all of you know my best trick. I hope you promise never to share. Lara already knows it. Most foxes don't climb trees, and even Tyler didn't, but he used to toss me into the trees all the time, and once I was in the branches, I would climb right up.
But, it turns out, this particular wolf sucked at climbing trees. Oh, he tried. He fell out of it three times before he gave up. He growled at me again, and then he did the only thing he could do.
He lay down and began to shift.
What could I do? I was one frightened fox kit, and as small as I was, he probably thought I was just a baby.
You know how some wolves shift fairly fast and are aware of what is going on while doing it, can even react if needed, defend themselves perhaps. Others, well, not so well. This guy was an extreme case of the latter.
He lay down on his side, and he began to shift. I knew he was going to climb up after me and kill me. What I didn't understand was how it could take so long for him to shift. It was like ultra, ultra, ultra slow motion of my dad. Dad was a slow shifter, taking maybe thirty seconds and a fair amount of whimpering to shift. Not like me. Even as a kit, I could shift as fast as you have all seen me.
But this wolf? He lay there, on his side, and when he was half wolf and half human, I started climbing back down. I couldn't climb down the tree as a fox very gracefully, but as a little girl in human form, I was a little monkey. It took me a few seconds to get down to a branch about eight feet over the wolf. Then I took my stick, and I dropped.
I got him right in his human throat. And then I immediately shifted to fox and began ripping and ripping at him.
He killed my brother; I am not going to apologize, not to him, not to his family, not to anyone.
Once he was thoroughly dead, I crawled over to Tyler's body, and I pulled him into my arms, and I tried to wake him up. I tried for hours to wake him up.
That's how our parents found us.
When Michaela Was Twelve
Lara was kneeling on the floor beside my chair, looking at me and holding my hand. My face was stained with tears. Scarlett was clinging to Angel, and Francesca had her arm around both of them. They had both sobbed with me, and I saw some tears in Francesca's eyes. I reached for my lemonade, but Lara got to it first and handed it to me. I drank slowly.
I was cried out, at least for a while. "I've never grieved for my brother," I said. "Until this morning, I had forgotten I'd had a brother. I had forgotten all of that. Vivian, I forgot my own brother."
"But you remember now," she said kindly.
I nodded. "Yes. Was the story what you expected?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because as hard as I tried, I could never get you to recount anything from the summer you were twelve. I knew something bad must have happened, but I thought that was when, and you repressed everything leading up to it. I was expecting you to be twelve, not six."
I nodded. "I guess you were right, in a way. The summer I was twelve was when I killed..." I counted. "My eleventh and twelfth wolves. Ironic, isn't it, I was twelve the summer I killed my twelfth."
Lara squeezed my hand.
"I remember all of them. I don't want to tell them all today, Vivian. Do I have to?"
"No, not if you don't want to. What happened when you were twelve?"
I looked away.
"Honey," Lara said. "You don't have to tell us."
"Yes, I do," I said. "I'm not going to tell much. But it was my fault, too. That was the summer Jimmy Longtail and his family got killed."
"Oh god," said Angel. "Your first crush."
"My sister's fiancé. But yes, I had a crush on my sister's boyfriend. I used to follow them. Well, I used to follow her when she would sneak over to see him. I would watch them, well. I would watch. I could be very quiet. I had such a crush on Jimmy. I kept wishing he would get tired of Jean and like me instead. I think he was six years older than I was, like an 18-year-old is going to like a 12-year-old. I would follow Jean, and watch. I'd been doing it for years, I guess. Two or three."
I looked around. "You don't want to hear this." I looked at the girls. "You don't have to stay."
"You can ask us to leave," Scarlett said. "But otherwise we're staying."
"I was in a tree," I said. "I liked trees. I liked them a whole lot. I was in a tree, watching Jean and Jimmy doing what, well, what kids that age do when they sneak away from their parents."
I looked at Lara. "Jimmy was trying to do some of the things you do to me, but he wasn't very good at them. What he lacked in technique, he more than made up for in determination. And he was doubly determined that day. So neither of them were paying attention, and I heard the wolves."
I
sighed. "It's always wolves in my stories. I'm sorry."
"We're sorry," Lara said. "You haven't done anything wrong."
"I heard the wolves. They found Jimmy's trail from home to the little glen Jean and Jimmy liked to use. There were three of them. I heard them shortly before they found his trail. I began huffing, quietly, trying to get Jean's attention, but she was doing her own huffing. She didn't hear me or she didn't care."
"Jimmy's trail went right under the tree I was in. He used it a lot, which was foolish, but that's why I liked this particular tree. I could have yipped, but I was afraid. I was afraid the wolves would hear me. I could have climbed down and run to Jean and Jimmy, but then it would have been my trail they found. I stayed in the tree, and I tried to warn them, but I didn't try hard enough."
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the memories. Lara squeezed my hand.
"Jimmy finally did something right. Jean made a noise, not a big noise, but a noise, and then she was still. I heard her panting, but Jimmy perked up; once he wasn't so focused on Jean, he had engaged his ears again."
"'Wolves!' he told Jean. It took seconds for them agree on their plan. Jean would run west. Jimmy would draw them east, into his family's traps."
I looked down. "I'm not going to tell it all, it would take too long. Jimmy ran straight back towards the wolves, right underneath my tree, and cut east. They smelled him, and I watched all three pass under my tree. But they never smelled me and they never smelled Jean, and she got free and went home, although I know she would have set ten miles of false trails first.
"Jimmy got one, sort of. It landed in a deadfall trap, but the spikes at the bottom weren't silver, and the wolf didn't die. His buddies pull him from the trap and left him there to recover while they followed Jimmy. But I had heard all of that, and I had already killed ten wolves by then. One disabled wolf, no problem.
"I knew where one of our nearby traps was, one with silver. I climbed from the tree and ran to it, shifted to human, pulled out one of the silvered spikes from the ground, and then shifted back to fox and picked up the spike by the dirty, safe end. I ran to the wounded wolf, shifted to human again, and then while he was still recovering, I killed him with the spike.
"That was number eleven.
"The other two wolves tracked Jimmy. I don't know what happened, I can only guess, but I know they caught him, and I know they caught his family. Then one of them came looking for their buddy. I had hoped they would, and I set a trail, clear as day, from the body of their buddy straight into one of the most wicked traps we had.
"That was number twelve."
I turned to Vivian. "I need to stop for a while."
She nodded. "Of course."
"May I please go for a run?" I looked at Lara. "I promise, I'm sane. I want to go for a run."
"In a minute," Vivian said. "If you can answer one question. Why did you say it was your fault?"
I stared at her. "I could have saved them."
"You tried to warn them. Is that true?"
"I could have tried harder."
"If you had, would the wolves have caught you instead?"
"Yes, but what does that matter? I still feel guilty. I always will."
"Have you always remembered this story?"
"You said one question."
She smiled. "Never believe a shrink who says she has just one more question." I laughed nervously.
"No. I remembered it today."
"How long a run?"
"Twenty minutes," I said. "And I really, really want company. Think your old bones can keep up with one little fox?"
She laughed. "My bones can try."
I looked at Lara. "You don't get to play. You can run, but you can't play. No taking my throat. None of that. Understand?"
She nodded.
"All right," I said. "I am going to shift in here with Angel and Scarlett. Everyone else can shift outside. Go."
They all got up and headed out the door. Once the door was closed again, I moved over to sit on the couch between my friends. "Will everything show? I don't want her to see yet."
"The piercings will," Angel said. "But they should be hidden in your fur."
"I need to know if they're going to catch on something. I'm going to shift, and I want you guys to check. And make sure nothing else shows."
Angel smiled. I loosened my clothes and shifted to fox, then stepped out of them. Angel and Scarlett got down on the floor with me and gave me a thorough check out.
"Your ear piercings are readily visible," Scarlett said. "And pretty." I licked her hand.
They moved their hands along my chest, and they each found a piercing. They ran fingers back and forth, and nothing snagged. "If you drag your chest, I guess you could catch something," Angel said. "But you would really have to work at it."
I rolled over onto my back. Normally when I do that, I tuck my tail between my legs, hiding my more personal parts, but I lay there.
"Fully furry," Scarlett said immediately. "Nothing to see here."
I rolled back upright and licked both their hands, then waited while they each shifted. It took them a lot longer than it took me. They each gave me a lick, I huffed in annoyance, and we headed for the door. I let Scarlett open it, and we stepped through.
Everyone else was already furry. I bounced around, offering licks and receiving a few in return, then I headed towards the woods at an easy lope.
It felt good to be outside.
The wolves all bounded around me, running away and coming back, playing their own games. Scarlett pounced on Angel, and the two of them tussled. Angel rolled Scarlett onto her back, and I dashed in and wrapped my jaws over Scarlett's neck before Angel could, then danced away, chuffing in amusement.
The two of them both jumped up and immediately began chasing me around. I let them chase me around for a minute, the two of them getting better and better at working with each other, then I dropped to my belly and let them catch me.
I got a bunch of good-natured licks.
Vivian swished her tail at me, and I pounced on it. She wasn't expecting me to do that, and she spun around, ready to swat me. I danced away, chuffing happily. She gave me a half-hearted chase, but it was just for the principle of the thing.
I didn't lead us very far, only a mile or so into the woods. I bumped Lara from time to time, and she licked me every time I did it. I did the same with Elisabeth and Francesca. Then I sat down and yawned.
They all sat down with me, but I walked over to Angel and nudged her towards the trees. Three nudges later, and she got the hint. She and Scarlett ran off into the woods, chasing each other around. They raced back into the clearing and bowled Francesca over before running off into the woods again. Francesca gave chase with Elisabeth lending a hand.
Or paw. Whatever.
Francesca couldn't have caught them, but Elisabeth helped, and when she returned to the little clearing, they were both following in Francesca's wake like a pair of errant pups brought home.
I turned my nose back to the compound. It was a short run, all I wanted. It let me clear my head and play a little. I felt good. I gave everyone a lick and headed home. They could follow if they wanted. They all followed.
I stopped and tried to nudge them all back to the woods, but they nudged me in the direction of the house, and so we all went home, the wolves circling around, Lara always by my side. Scarlett and Angel started a new game of pouncing on my tail, but I put a stop to that. They each got away with it once, but when Scarlett tried a second time, I leapt up, spinning in mid-air, and came down with all four paws on her head. She was so surprised she tripped on her own head and tumbled head over heels directly into Lara.
Lara chuffed but pinned Scarlett to the ground and took her time making Scarlett whimper. She did it that way to me all the time, so it was nice someone else was getting the attention.
Then Lara looked at me pointedly. Hey, it wasn't my fault she couldn't control her tumble. I would never have let myself tumble int
o the alpha like that. At least not as an accident.
I chuffed at her, grinning.
We made it to the house. I walked straight in, and Lara tried to follow me, but I turned around and growled at her, snapping the air in front of her until she backed out. I closed the door, shifted, and pulled my clothes on as quickly as I could.
Then I opened the door and let anyone in who wanted to come in.
* * * *
We all gathered together again, once everyone was dressed, had used the bathroom, or retrieved the refreshments of their pleasure. I moved to the sofa and asked Lara to sit next to me.
Once we were all collected, "Is there more?" Vivian asked.
"There is a lot more," I said. "I don't know what else to tell you today."
"But you think there is more you need to tell all of us. Is that for yourself or for us?"
"I really want to get married today," I said. "But Lara needs to know I'm not crazy, and I was sure crazy last night. She needs to know it's not going to happen again."
"It's not going to happen again?" Vivian asked.
"I don't think so."
"That would be a remarkable recovery."
"I'm a fox, we heal fast."
They scoffed at that.
I grinned. "Who wants to make a wager on that?"
"Come on," Lara said. "Don't be silly. We've seen you heal."
"I know you have. So this should be an easy wager. Who is in?"
"I'm in," said Angel. "So is Scarlett."
"Don't encourage her!" Lara said.
I turned to Vivian. "Care to wager against me?"
She studied me. "You need to show us something, don't you?"
"Yes."
"I'm not wagering against you. Alpha, I recommend you let her show you what she wants to show you."
"This is stupid," she said. "Fine."
"Excellent," I said. "Am I still on suicide watch?"
"Yes," Lara growled.
"Fine. Whoever is wagering, make it big. Make it worth my while. Elisabeth, I want my house back."
