“Wow—we’ve got newborn twins to take care of.” She stared down at Max, then glanced at Sawyer. She seemed about to say something, but then didn’t. “Sawyer?”
He looked at her, shifting Shane in his arms just a bit. The baby didn’t even stir.
“Are you okay with this?” she asked. “I mean, taking care of the babies. Given...how you feel about having babies in the first place.”
“I do what needs to be done,” he said, then regretted it when he noticed the look on her face. A little disappointment, a little surprise, a little Jeez, really? “And they’re my nephews,” he added fast, “so of course I’m okay with it.”
The disappointment, surprise and Jeez, really? didn’t abate with that added pronouncement.
He was striking out here. “Look, Maddie, the most important thing in the world to me fifteen minutes ago was you and only you. You were just in a bad accident. You lost your memory. Taking care of you was my sole priority. Suddenly, we have two newborns added into the mix and no idea what’s what.”
She took that in, her expression softening a bit. “What’s what meaning...”
“Meaning Cole is a wild card. He could come back sobbing in the morning, saying he was just scared and lost his mind and begging us to help him figure out how to do this, be a dad to the babies.”
“And of course we’ll help.”
He nodded. “We will. I’d never turn my back on Cole. I might not invite him to stay here because of what he pulled last time, but I’d never turn my back on him.”
“Something about robbing us blind,” she said. “Are you and Cole half brothers? You didn’t grow up together, from what I can tell.”
“We share a father. His mother was a weekend fling, apparently. My dad barely acknowledged Cole—or his mother. If it wasn’t for the family resemblance, Hank Wolfe probably wouldn’t have accepted him at all.”
Maddie shook her head. “Awful. I guess you didn’t see him much growing up.”
“His mother never brought him around to our place since she didn’t trust Hank. I certainly don’t blame her. And every now and again, when my dad wanted to get rid of me, he’d drop me off at Cole’s apartment two towns over. His mother wasn’t thrilled at having another mouth to feed or kid to watch, so she’d always take me back home in a couple hours.”
She shook her head again. “I guess you never had the opportunity to get close.”
“Nope. And to make matters worse, Cole thought I had it better because at least I got to live with my dad, not that I had a mother ever. He resented that. I tried to tell him our dad wasn’t exactly father of the year, but you know how kids can be about that. Grass is always greener.”
“But it sounds like you care about Cole,” she said, tilting her head.
“Of course I do. I always felt a kinship with him, always wished we could be closer. I tried for a while, but I could never really trust him. He lies too easily. Takes advantage of people. He got into some trouble with petty stuff a couple years ago and suddenly wanted me to make it go away. That caused a rift when I wouldn’t. It’s one of the reasons I let him stay the last time, even though I wasn’t comfortable. To try to get a relationship back. Then he stole five hundred bucks in cash from an envelope in a kitchen drawer that I’d put there for a contractor, and he stole a bracelet your late grandmother gave you.” He hung his head back. “I kind of wish I hadn’t told you that, since you had the good fortune of not remembering.”
“My grandmother’s bracelet?”
“A diamond bracelet you always admired. She left it to you. And he took it. I got it back from the pawn shop, but paying for it infuriated me. Man, was I pissed as hell.”
“I’ll bet. Sorry, Sawyer. All that sounds really hard.”
He nodded. “He’ll always be my kid brother, though, you know? Despite, despite, despite. And I consider myself a pretty good judge of people and know a liar when I see and hear one, and I have to say, all that angst and pacing and panic from Cole a little while ago seemed authentic to me. This is new—the babies, I mean. Cole has walked away from family, people, jobs—but walking away from his own children, that clearly triggered a lot for him.”
“So you think he’ll be back,” she said. “Before you said you weren’t sure he’d ever come back.”
He let out a breath, then looked down at the beautiful baby sleeping in his arms. “I guess the more I talk it out for myself, the more I realize I don’t know. At first, I thought—Cole is gone. That the babies are just too much. But talking about his upbringing just now, what it meant for him to be ignored by our dad. I don’t know. Maybe he’ll figure some stuff out and come back for his children.”
“Meaning I’d better not get too attached.”
He froze, staring at her. “You were thinking this would be permanent?”
She gave a little shrug. “I guess either way, it’s okay for me to get attached. Either I’ll be raising these guys with you or we’ll be aunt and uncle.”
“Possibly aunt and uncle from a distance,” he said, realizing he had to caution her. “Cole could return tomorrow and disappear with these two. And I’ll have no recourse. They’re his.”
“Well, he brought them here for a reason. Even if he needs a night to get his head together, he knows we’ll take good care of them. And if he does come back for them, I can’t see him taking them far from a soft place for them to land.”
“Maybe so,” he said. “Speculation has never been my thing, though, Maddie. I’m more wait and see and operate on facts. Like I said, Cole is a wild card.”
So yeah—definitely don’t get too attached to these guys, he wanted to say. But he could see she was already bonded, after just an hour.
We’ll see what the morning brings, he told himself.
“The extra good news is that MacLeod’s Multiples Emporium has everything we could possibly need for these two,” she said. “I saw that for myself yesterday.”
Something told him they’d be taking a trip over there tomorrow and buying up the place, not that the MacLeods would accept a penny.
He didn’t think Cole would be coming back. Not tomorrow and not next week. And the longer it got, the longer he’d stay away, because that was how it worked. Not so much out sight, out of mind, but out of sight, out of heart, even if Cole had to force it. One day it would feel too late to come back, and he’d convince himself the babies were better off with Sawyer and Maddie.
But here he was, speculating, when he just said he didn’t do that. He had no idea what was in Cole’s mind, Cole’s heart. He just knew his brother had a heart. And that was what worried him and made things better at the same time.
* * *
At first Sawyer didn’t know what he was hearing. Sounded like a baby crying.
He bolted upright. His nephews.
He glanced at the alarm clock. 4:34 a.m. Ah, babies. Classic. He looked over at Maddie, fast asleep. Good. She needed to rest.
Sawyer gently peeled back the comforter and padded over to where the babies were lying in their car seats on the carpet across from the end of their bed. They’d slept a nice stretch, so the carriers must be comfortable enough. He picked up Max, who was half crying, half squirming, and the baby instantly quieted down.
“What’s the matter, guy?” he whispered. “Hungry? Wet? Just need some company?”
The diaper didn’t feel particularly wet, but he changed Max anyway on the mat on the carpet, then put him back in the carrier to bring him downstairs to make up a bottle.
Once he had the bottle ready, he settled on the sofa, Max guzzling away. He heard a cry from upstairs and started to get up, but he could see Maddie on the top step, holding Shane.
“I was hoping you’d sleep through the night,” he called up to her. “I was about to go get him.”
“I like having babies to take care of,” she said, coming down the
stairs. “The second I woke up when I realized he was crying, I felt a crazy excitement about rushing out of bed to get him. I must have really wanted a baby, huh.”
Yeah. You did. “I guess it’s a novelty for now,” he said. Again, immediately regretting the words coming out of his mouth. “Cole might be back in a few hours.”
Was he cautioning her against getting attached again or doing some serious wishful thinking that his brother would return for his children? Did he want Cole Wolfe walking in and then out with these two precious beings? Cole, who couldn’t take care of himself? As his brother himself had said?
Sawyer let out a sigh.
Maddie went into the kitchen to fix a bottle, returning and sitting next to him. “And I guess you really didn’t want a baby. Don’t, I should say.”
Shane started fussing and kicking his little legs. Maddie held him upright against her, giving his back some gentle taps, and a big burp came out of that tiny body.
“That feels better, huh,” she cooed, cradling the infant in her arms as she continued feeding him.
“My sister told me I’ve wanted to be a mother since I was really young, that I was always asking to play mommy and baby with our dolls and stuffed animals.”
He smiled as a memory came over him. “You used to try to get me to play daddy. I remember you had this demonic-looking baby doll you particularly loved, and I’d run and hide whenever I saw you with it.”
She laughed. “I’ll bet.”
“When we were around ten, you used to say you wanted four kids, two sets of twins, because you loved being a twin. And I used to say I only wanted dogs.”
“You knew even back then you didn’t want a family?” she asked.
“I knew I always wanted you in my life. And a dog. That’s it. And when you started really pressing me about starting a family a few years ago, I guess I started retreating without even realizing it. I hated disappointing you, hated denying you something so important to you, but the thought of having a child of my own made me go absolutely cold inside. And I couldn’t seem to budge from it.”
“Even though our marriage was strong?”
He nodded. “It’s not about us or the marriage. It’s about me.”
Even though she didn’t remember any of this, he felt terrible for the Maddie she’d been a few days ago. Loving her husband so much, wanting a child so much. And Sawyer not wanting a child with the same vehemence.
Moose came padding down the stairs. He gave Shane a sniff, then Max, and then lay down at Sawyer’s feet. “I used to tell you that Moose was our fur baby. You didn’t like that one bit.”
“No doubt,” she said, setting the almost-empty bottle down. She looked at the German shepherd. “No offense, Moose.”
The dog eyed her and put his chin on her foot. “He loved you from the very first day he met you.”
She smiled, leaning down to give the dog a scratch behind his ear. “So what do we do now? I guess newborns don’t play, do they?”
“Well, I’d like to get them checked out by a pediatrician. I know they just came from the hospital and Cole said they were cleared and discharged, but just for my own peace of mind. Then I think we just walk around with them, talk to them and take care of their every need and want.”
“That’s the life,” she said, giving Shane a little rock.
He looked down at the baby in his arms. Once, he’d promised to take care of Maddie’s every need and want, and he’d denied her so much. He’d denied her this.
But as he shifted Max upright to burp him, that same vague, abstract feeling of terror mixed with they’re not mine, they’re not mine lodged in his gut, as it had when he’d tried to fall asleep last night. Other people always seemed to go to mush around babies, even six-foot-five, two-hundred-twenty-pound Officer Mobley. He’d never heard anyone ooh and aah and then play five rounds of peekaboo like Mobley. But when Sawyer held a baby, all he felt was that dread—and the sure knowledge that the baby belonged to someone else, someone who’d come for him or her.
Except this time.
Chapter Five
Noon came and went, the “deadline” Sawyer had set for his brother to return. Sawyer had called in a favor to a pediatrician he knew in town and had the twins squeezed in for a check-up while Maddie stayed home just in case Cole came back. The good news was that the twins were definitely healthy. The bad news: Cole hadn’t called, texted or shown his face at the house.
And so Sawyer and Maddie put the trip to MacLeod’s on today’s schedule, to buy everything the babies needed. Maddie figured they’d need all the baby paraphernalia on hand no matter what, whether they were looking after the babies or if Cole did come back and would bring them by to visit in the typical scenario.
The more she said that kind of thing out loud, the deeper the frown lines on Sawyer’s forehead got. Her way, which she was very slowly getting to know, seemed to be to pounce—to ask about everything, including every raised eyebrow of Sawyer’s. She was an asker, and she supposed that was good. You didn’t ask, you didn’t find out anything.
“Why does that make you...unsettled, Sawyer?” she’d inquired just ten minutes ago as they’d settled the twins back in their carriers after feeding them.
“Well, because either way is not exactly what I had planned. For now or the next eighteen years.”
“Life is like that, though. You certainly didn’t plan for me to lose my memory. Stuff happens, Sawyer.”
“With help,” he’d said. “Stuff doesn’t just happen. I got you angry and you drove off—boom, accident. Cole is reckless—boom, twin newborns who are now in our custody.”
“Is that how you look at it? Like the babies are in your custody? À la police custody?”
The frown lines appeared again. “I just don’t know what’s going to happen, Maddie. And yes, that unsettles me.”
When he was like that, when he was sort of vulnerably honest, she would feel herself softening and relenting and wanting to give him a hug. But something also told her that Sawyer Wolfe needed a good push. And boy, was he getting one.
After their conversation, he’d gone to make a pot of coffee, and she’d called MacLeod’s to let her family know she and Sawyer would be coming by with their newborn nephews and needed to buy out the joint. Her mother had gasped with joy and said, “Don’t you move a muscle! We’ll bring everything you need to you! Oh, I can’t wait to meet those little MacLeod multiples!”
Forty-five minutes later, the pink-and-blue delivery truck arrived, the MacLeod’s Multiples Emporium logo with its six illustrations of infants in diapers unmistakable. As Sawyer went out to thank them profusely and bring everything in with the help of her dad and a delivery guy, Maddie’s mother and sister rushed in to see the newest little members of their family.
“They’ve got Sawyer’s eyes!” April MacLeod said, reaching in to gently take Shane out of his carrier. “Yup, those are definitely Sawyer’s eyes—look at the almond shape. I’ll bet they turn green by the time these two are three months.” She sat down on the living room sofa, gazing at the baby with pure love and devotion.
Maddie pictured Cole Wolfe, eyes so similar to his brother’s. Last night, his eyes had been full of pain and panic. She wondered where he was right now. Hours across the country? Twenty minutes away in a motel? Or maybe he was just home, wherever that was. She felt for him, she really did, and she was glad that he could rest assured the babies would be well taken care of by their aunt and uncle.
“And there’s just something in the expression,” Jenna added, reaching in for Max and carefully cradling him in her arms. The infant gazed up at her with curious slate-blue eyes. “Aw, he’s precious. They’re both so stinkin’ cute.”
“So what does this make me?” April asked. “Grandmother-in-law?”
Jenna grinned. “I don’t think that’s a thing. Or maybe it is. Let’s make it a t
hing so I can be the aunt-in-law.”
“I didn’t even know Sawyer had a brother,” Maddie whispered.
“Oh gosh, that’s right,” Jenna said, leaning back and shifting the baby in her arms. “They’ve never been close. You tried over the years to invite Cole to holidays and family events. Sometimes he’d show. He’d stick by your side and avoid Sawyer most of the time.”
Poor Sawyer. He’d made it clear he’d always wanted a relationship with his half brother. But the more she got to know Sawyer Wolfe, who was truly as brand-new to her as anyone, the more she realized he probably did the pushing away more than he realized. As he and her father and the delivery guy finished unloading the truck and brought mostly everything upstairs, Maddie heard bits and pieces of Sawyer telling her dad about the situation, talking openly. He trusts my dad, she realized. Of course he did; the man practically raised him. She could see that Sawyer was comfortable and open with Ace MacLeod, and despite the fact that she couldn’t remember her own relationship with her parents, she was deeply touched to see that Sawyer clearly felt very close to them.
Within fifteen minutes, the empty room upstairs had been transformed into a nursery. Two rocking bassinets, a cozy pale yellow glider, a dresser–changing table stocked with everything the twins could need, from diapers to cornstarch to chafing ointment, a lullaby player, a big pile of pajamas and caps, blankets and burp cloths. Shane and Max were now fast asleep in their bassinets.
Maddie watched the twins sleep in the sweet little nursery, but as she looked over at Sawyer, she couldn’t help noticing that the frown lines were back.
* * *
A Wyoming Christmas to Remember Page 5
