“Let's fucking recap: Your douche of a father said you would no longer be part of the family if you didn't make him look good. That deserves a big fuck you. Your mother said you were dragging her down because you weren't being submissive to the man she fucks for money. That is a fucking prostitute. And Ethan, well there's the catch. I'm not sure what he deserves, but you’d just been through some shit, so you get a pass. You can talk to him later.” She ticked off each offense with her fingers.
I narrowed my eyes. “No. I won't. That will only cause more trouble.”
“Fuckin' A, Kate. So, you're going to submit to what they want? Let the boy mess up on his own before you write him off. Plus, if he's after your money, you ain’t got none now so you'll find out real quick.”
I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. That wasn't completely true. I’d been saving my allowance from my father. Plus, the car parked in front of Lexi's apartment probably had great trade in value if I needed more.
Lexi stretched out beside me and framed my face in her hands, and I turned sideways to face her.
“You can stay here with me for as long as you like. We're family, and we'll face this together. Anyone who chooses not to be in your life is an asshole, but you'll be an asshole if you lose yourself to please them.”
I sighed. “I don't think I've ever found myself.”
Lexi placed her hand over my heart, “She's there, and you just have to be brave enough to let her out.”
I rolled onto my back, laughing at her sappy words. A pillow hit me in the face.
“God dammit, Kate. You are a crazy ass mess, but I love you.”
“Gladiator? Really?” Lexi asked. She walked past me with two sacks of groceries in her arms.
“It makes me thankful for my life. At least I'm not Maximus,” I explained as I popped a chip into my mouth.
“You should add that to your wall of quotes,” She suggested as she unloaded the groceries, noisily opening and closing cabinets.
I groaned and got up from my spot on the couch to help her.
“How did the interview go?” She handed me a bag of frozen vegetables for the freezer.
“I start tomorrow at nine AM for training.”
Despite my interview that morning with LA sports complex feeling like a disaster, they offered me a job as a receptionist. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, trying to rebuild my short fuse.
She stopped unloading groceries to give me her full attention. “That's great. What did they say about school? Do you have flexible hours?”
“I don't know if I'm even still going to school.”
“I was thinking about that today. Maybe we were jumping to conclusions yesterday. Maybe everyone overreacted. I think you should face this head on. Call and talk to them.”
My blood ran cold at the thought. “If they want to talk to me, they can call.” I pulled a grocery sack towards me to start unloading again.
I thought that would have been the end of the conversation, but Lexi brought it back up as we ate dinner.
I knew she was going to broach a heavy topic when she laid her fork down. “Kate, I think you're making a mistake.”
I fidgeted in the chair. “Noted.”
“Listen to me. You are hard to be friends with. That's why you don't have many.”
“Thanks.” I put down my fork, resigned that I was going to receive a lecture.
She gave me a sympathetic look. “I know you don't mean to be. You just don't know any better. Do you know how long it took for you to call me?”
I shook my head, not sure what she was talking about.
“Three years.”
I raised my eyebrows. I had no clue what she meant.
She shook her head, flustered. “The only reason we have any relationship is because I fought for it. I called you every month because you are family and I liked talking to you, but it took three years for you to call me. Even after that, the calls stayed mainly one sided. I fought to be your friend. You don't put any effort into your relationships.”
It was a heavy truth pulling on me, but I had to face it. I couldn’t deny anything she said.
“You’re right. I'm sorry I'm such a crappy friend.”
Lexi crumpled her napkin and tossed it on the table. “That's not what I meant. You've gotten better with me. I'm just trying to say you can't sit and wait for others to act. You need to put some effort in. You need to talk to your dad and find out if he is going to help you still or not. Be proactive.”
The reality of her words hit me. Hadn't I been saying the same thing on the beach with Ethan the other week? I needed to take control of my life.
“I don't have to concede to his demands,” I thought out loud. “I just need to talk to him and see if I can smooth things out. Or at least try.”
Lexi nodded. “Exactly.”
The idea of confronting Connor was overwhelming. I let my head fall to the table in defeat. “Can I please wait until tomorrow?”
But I didn't call him the next day.
“Call him today Kate. What the Hell are you waiting for?” Lexi asked.
I pulled a coffee mug out of the cabinet, determined. “I’m not going to call him until Sunday.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
“I think giving everyone a week to calm down is a good idea,” I explained.
Sarcasm dripped from Lexi as she nodded. “Oh yeah, very considerate.”
“Shut up.” I poured coffee into my empty mug.
“I'm sure it has nothing to do with being scared?”
I took a sip of my hot coffee and then faced her. “Giving me a week to build my courage is a good idea too.”
Her smile was hesitant, and then she stretched from her chair and walked to the kitchen sink. “Baby steps,” Lexi said. She rinsed her coffee cup and placed it in the dishwasher. “Fucking baby steps.” She waved to me as she walked out the door, headed for work.
I tensed as my phone rung, nervous of who was calling, but I relaxed at the sight of Sonja's name on the screen.
“Hello,” I answered
“What is going on? Are you okay?” She was concerned.
I paused wondering what she’d heard.
She continued talking without waiting for a reply, “I had, like, three messages from Ethan. With the time difference and jet lag, it was hard to talk to him till now. He said he saw you really upset and that it looked like you’d been in a fight. What happened?”
“I said some really mean things to my mother, and she smacked me. I ran into Ethan after that. I was pretty mean to him too. Have you talked to your father yet?”
“What? No, I haven't talked to him. Did he have something to do with the fight? Tell me everything.” she demanded.
I relayed the story to her, leaving out my mother and our father’s current sexual arrangement. I regretted judging her so harshly and wanted to protect her from others judgment, especially people who didn’t know her story and the struggles she had.
“They both wanted you to stop seeing Ethan, you said you would do what you wanted to do, so your mother smacked you, but now you're not talking to Ethan anyways?” She recapped.
“I didn't really get mad about Ethan. It was that they were threatening to cut me off if I didn't listen to them. I want to be able to choose my own friends and I want them to trust that I’m smart enough to make good decisions—without dictating my life. They could have given me the warning about Ethan without jumping to disowning me. I don't want to have to worry about every choice I make.”
“I can't believe our father did that. I'm going to talk to him. Sometimes he needs me to remind him that he is not the CEO of the family.”
I brightened at the idea. Maybe she could smooth things out, so when I called, it wouldn't be so awkward.
“I was planning on calling him Sunday. I wanted to give him space to cool off,” I explained.
“That's good. I’ve got to call Ethan back and let him know you're okay. He w
as worried about you but didn't think you’d want to hear from him. Do you want to hear from him?” she asked.
“I'm not sure. What’s his deal anyways? Connor said he was just after money and using me.”
Her laugh was harsh. “Father doesn't know crap. Ethan's parent died when he was sixteen. They left him nothing but a bad reputation. Liam's family let him stay with them, mainly so Liam wouldn't be alone while they traveled. Besides living with Liam, Ethan pays his own way. College was all him. He's always been a hard worker.”
“Oh,” I responded, guilt stirring in my gut again.
“He's a good guy but not wealthy. That's the bullshit issue most people have with him.”
Sonja was one of those people who found the best in everybody so I couldn't completely trust her assessment of Ethan. Although, I wanted to.
My phone vibrated, signaling a new text.
Lunch with your father at 1pm. His office.
It was Wednesday, and we were supposed to have a standing lunch date on Wednesday. I hadn’t expected him to keep the commitment this week. Maybe this was a good sign?
At 1:00, I waited in the lobby outside his office. My mother was nowhere to be seen. A man was at what I thought was her desk. He told me Connor was finishing up a conference call, and then I could go in.
I wiped my palms on my lap as I sat and waited. I was nervous about talking to Connor, but it was the potential of running into my mother that made my pulse beat faster with anxiety.
The phone rang, and the gentlemen behind the desk answered. After a few “yes, sirs” he hung up and told me I could go into my father's office.
His desk sat in front of a large bookshelf that covered the entire length of the wall. Adjacent to that was a glass door to his balcony. Our lunch was spread on a table outside. The office was a juxtaposition of lights and dark. The wood of the desk and walls were a dark cherry, but the large windows covering two walls let in bright, clear light.
My father extended his hand towards his balcony, signaling me to walk out first.
No one spoke until we were seated.
“I had our usual meal delivered from the country club,” he said.
“Thank you.” I looked down at my salad.
“How have you been? Your mother tells me you haven’t been home.”
I met his eyes. “No, I’ve been staying with my cousin, Lexi.”
“Ah, the model.”
I took offense to his derisive tone. “So? She’s also a psychology and pre-med student and a server. Not everyone can have life handed to them. She has to work to afford college, and modeling is a great way to pay the bills.”
“Unlike you, who has life handed to you?”
“I never asked for that,” I measured my words, trying to find a way to save this conversation or I would be storming out of here soon.
“But it is what you want. It's why you're here.” He swept his hand across the table but encompassed more than this moment.
His accusation gripped me and made it hard to breathe. I shook my head, choking on my words, “I never expected any of this.”
He appraised me with narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “No, I guess you didn't. Your mother never told you about me. But now that you know, you think I owe you? I paid when you were conceived. My debt is settled. What I do now is out of my own kindness.”
Something like courage or pride stiffened my spine, and I sat up tall to face him. “Now that I know, all I wanted was to know my family. I’m thankful to have met my sisters. I was thankful for what you have done for me, but you can take it all back if accepting it means I have to put up with this.” I stood up. “Please don't assume to know me and my motives when you so clearly don't.”
He pushed away from the table and stood up too, meeting my gaze. His face softened. “I am sorry. You're right. I should not have assumed.” He gestured to my chair. “Please, sit down and let's talk.”
I was hesitant, but I sat back in my chair.
“I invited you here today to make amends, not make it worse,” he said.
I stared at him without responding, so he continued, “You are right. You have done nothing to lead me to believe you are after my money or family affiliation. In fact, you have barely spent what I’ve given you. I’m used to being in charge, and you challenge that, much like your sisters.” He smiled. “I don't know why I expected you to be different from them. It is probably my own strong will that you’ve inherited.”
My will did not feel very strong, but I smiled at what I hoped was a compliment.
He leaned forward. “Aside from the defiance, you are different from them. I can tell you take life a little more serious and make plans for it. I will continue to finance your education and give you an allowance, but that money is for you, not your boyfriends. The expectation is that they will be able to support themselves, and if, or when, you move in with one, it will be at their expense, not mine. So, find someone who can support the lifestyle you will surely become accustomed to.”
Not wanting the conversation to escalate again, I ignored his last statement. The warning was clear enough, and I knew he was referring to Ethan.
“Thank you for your support. I’m grateful for the opportunities,” I said honestly.
He smiled and finally took a bite of his salad. “You’re welcome. Now, for the main topic of discussion. I’d like you to change your last name. Some have been questioning our relationship at the club, and I have been honest. My PR team feels it’s best we officially change your name to make the clear statement that your paternity is not something we are hiding.”
My mind turned in consideration. I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up my last name, Green. That was the name given to me by the man I had thought of as my dad. It felt wrong to change that, like it took away from him.
“Think about it,” my father interrupted my thoughts. “PR would like to put out an official statement on Friday. I need to know by then.” His face was stern. I'm sure my indecision angered him.
“Great. Now you have to go out with me.” Lexi cheered and pushed my shoulder in excitement.
I caught myself from toppling over on the couch. “What? Why?”
“You were hella brave today and stood up for you.” She faked wiping a tear away. “My little girl is growing up, and I'm so proud.”
I laughed. “Thanks... I think. But what were you planning?”
She purposefully lowered her head so she had to look up at me as she batted her eyelashes. “There's a party tonight at one of Chase's teammate's house. I have to go, but I don't want to go alone.”
“You won't be alone. Chase will be there,” I pointed out. I was going to go; I just wanted more information before I told her.
She wrinkled her nose. “He’s been a little upset with me ever since that jewelry party we went to. I’d invited him but didn't spend any time with him.”
Pierre, the stylist, had stayed with Lexi most of the night and introduced her to many people. It had been a great night for her career wise.
“He's still upset about that? Doesn't he realize how important those connections were for you.”
She shook her head and sighed. “He's right. I could have at least taken a moment to explain things to him.” She sat up, her eyes shining bright with a plan. “But any-fuckin-ways, I’m going to make it all okay tonight.” She pointed at me. “So you're in, right?”
~Carly ~
Kate knew nothing.
And now she had ruined everything.
Carly had not talked to Connor directly in two days. He’d sent directions via text and e-mail for her. But all the tasks required her to be out of the office, interacting with others with no chance of seeing him.
And today, there was only one text:
See Mr. Goldstien for your assignments. You will be his assistant for now.
Connor was dismissing her because of Kate's actions.
Carly had chosen him over Kate this time. But the result was the same as before.<
br />
She was being dismissed.
Stupid girl.
Chapter Fifteen
Trust your instincts though you can render no reason
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'd been excited to go to a real college party. One with a five-dollar cover charge for a cup to fill with your choice of beer from a keg or some version of spiked punch—and no caterer.
But, I was surprised to see so many girls in tight dresses showing off full breasts, some real and some fake. I immediately felt out of place in my jeans and t-shirt. This was where I was supposed to fit in.
Turning to Lexi, I yelled over the music, “Wow. Didn’t realize I needed to dress up for a Wednesday night party?”
She looked around the crowded living room. There were at least fifty people packed into this tiny room. The party spilled into the kitchen, garage, and backyard.
“I forgot that skanks like to dress up for the basketball team, they’re mini-celebrities on campus.” She draped her arm around my shoulder and encouraged, “We still look hot in our jeans, so no worries. Let me know if you see Chase?”
“Why don’t you just text him that you’re here?”
“I want to surprise him.” She scanned the crowd again and then turned to me with a nervous smile. “He doesn’t know I was still planning to show up tonight.”
I groaned. “Lexi are we crashing a party?”
Her eyes widened. “Look around. There’s like a million fucking people here. Everyone's crashing. Now come on, let’s go mingle and blend in.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me with her to the backyard.
The deck had a string of lights wrapped around the railings and a floodlight was mounted on the corner to add illumination to the backyard. Several large groups were in the spotlight’s glow.
We stopped in front of the beer pong table that had several tall guys stood at either end.
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