by A. J. Downey
“I think you’re right,” I said, a little breathy when he moved back into my space and hooked his fingers into the hem of the borrowed Indigo City Fire Dept. tee shirt I was wearing, lifting it up, over my head. I raised my arms and let him have it, saying, “I think this room needs a king.”
“Hmm,” he said, smiling, the sound a slight laugh, like he found me cute. I was okay with that, the whole ‘him finding me cute’. He kissed me, his warm hands sliding against my skin and I closed my eyes, grateful that my mind was going into that pleasant, blank place of just feeling rather than thinking. By this point, I think I was thought-out, and yeah, even felt-out a little bit, mentally and emotionally wrung-out from this crazy yo-yo, this insane back-and-forth along my heart strings from everything. The media, his ex, Mark, the lawyers, the paparazzi, the readers and publishers, and movie producers, and, and, and, and, and…
It was too much, and I shoved it all away, off my mental desk and onto my mental floor so Backdraft could put me on it and give me the only fuck I cared about right now.
Bless him and his never-ending patience with me.
23
Backdraft…
She slept like an angel and it gave me a funny feeling, watching her do it in my bed. I loved that she was here. I loved that she hadn’t judged when she’d walked into the disaster that was my place. I’d gotten it dirt cheap as a foreclosure; I'd envisioned Torrid and I refurbishing and building it to our liking, but boy, had I misjudged that one. She’d been pissed. Too diva to even consider getting her hands dirty. I sighed, a heavy thing, and thought to myself, But you thought you loooved her! I hadn’t known the meaning of the word until my eyes had met Lil’s stormy ones.
I’d gotten her laundry out of the dryer, had folded it neatly, and put it on the dented metal folding chair I’d brought up from downstairs. She’d slept like the dead. So tired, mentally and emotionally, and who the fuck could blame her? People had gone fucking crazy over Torrid’s bullshit and I couldn’t say I was surprised. The bitch was first-class at one thing and one thing only: crazy-making.
I stared at Lil, sleeping peacefully, the weak sunlight from the overcast day filtering through the water-spotted bedroom window and falling across her face in neat lines from the blinds. I’d promised her last night that I was going to fix this shit and I meant it. She’d rejected the notion, sure, trying to keep me safe and take all the hits, but, fuck that. What kind of man would that make me, hiding behind my woman? I shook my head and bowed it, gripping the back of my neck and trying to rub out the tension in it.
The short answer to the question was Not much of one and I wasn’t about to go down that road. I left a folded note on the vacant pillow and took myself quietly back downstairs and out the front door. The paparazzi motherfuckers were across the street, shouting their questions at me. I gave them the finger and got on my bike, sticking the key in the ignition and giving it a twist, thumbing the ignition switch.
She started up like a dream and I smiled, flashing back to last night and the same thumb on Lil’s clit as she rode me in my bed and how it’d elicited the very same reaction. Which did I like better? The curves of her body or the curves on my bike? It was a tough call, which told me this was true love. The fact I would even have a hard time between the two told me that what was up with Lil was the real fuckin’ deal. I laughed at myself and carefully pulled out onto the street.
I took myself across the city to a different station house than mine and parked off to the side, out front. I would only be a few minutes. When I went inside, I was met at the door by some of the guys, one of them saying, “Look, man, we all know you got a beef, and with good reason, but not in the house, okay?”
I put up my hands in surrender and smiled a crooked ‘suck my dick’ sort of grin and said, “I’m here to make peace, not war, guys. Ackley on shift?”
“No, you just missed him. It’s his day off.”
“Could you call him up for me? It’s important.”
They exchanged a look and one of them shrugged, asking, “Where you want to have him meet ya?”
Good question. I thought about it a second and said, “Neutral ground, the 10-13?”
“Not sure that’d be classified as ‘neutral’, bro.”
“Fine, fine,” I grumbled. Fair enough, though. “How about the coffee house across from the courthouse?”
“We’ll tell him. When?”
“Now,” I said. “I’m headed that way.”
The guys nodded and one asked, “What’s the deal?”
I laid it out for them and they exchanged a look and nodded, indicating they’d let him off the hook if he went through with it. That’s what I wanted. He and I would probably never be good, but this would definitely make things better.
I went to the coffee place Aly worked at and found a table. She looked up from behind the counter and I remembered, it was Friday, so of course, she’d be here. I sighed when her shoulders dropped and empathy flickered across her face. She knew Torrid, and she knew it was all a load of bullshit. She came around and gave me a hug, leaning back to look me over.
“How is she?” she asked and I smiled.
“Sleeping.”
She raised her eyebrows and jerked her head over to a free table by the window. I sat and she sat across from me.
“So what are you doing here, instead of there?” she asked gently.
“Tryin’ to fix this shit, once and for all.”
“How?” she asked, her brow wrinkling.
“We’ll see. He’s should be coming any minute,” I said, eyeing the text that’d just come through from the guys in his house.
“Two coffees?” she asked.
“Yes, please.”
“I’m glad she’s got you,” Aly said. “If you’ve ever read her books or any of her blog posts, you’d know she’s led a pretty lonely life.”
“I actually have read a couple of her books, but thanks for the pro-tip about her blogs and that. Of course, I think we’re in a place now that I could just ask.” I gave Aly a wink, and she blushed to the roots of her dyed blonde hair.
“We can’t all be so lucky,” she muttered and I laughed.
“Better get used to her being around, number-one-fangirl,” I called after her she rolled her eyes.
“Please, I’m number-two-fangirl. Over half of what I know about her I learned from Dawnie. She has cyber-fangirl-stalking down to an art form.”
I laughed and looked at my hands which I had folded on the tiny round table top. I actually wished I’d had one of her books to read right now while I waited. It was like I could hear her when I read her words and it’d been a nice way of having Lil with me even when I couldn’t be with her.
Aly set down two coffees in front of me just as the door popped open against the bell dangling above it and Ackley stepped through. He kind of froze up at the icy look of contempt on my face, but I had to give the man props. He didn’t tuck tail and run. Instead, he pulled out the chair across from me and sat down.
“So what’s the deal?” he asked, without preamble.
Oh yeah, he’d give just about anything to get back in the department’s good graces.
“You go on TV with me and tell the fuckin’ truth.”
He stopped, his eyes gone wide and said, “You’re shitting me, right?”
“Either that, or you can always be watching your back by your damn self.”
“Fuck me,” he muttered and bowed his head and shook it. He thought about it and looked back up at me, skeptical-like.
“You’re serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
“I never in a million years thought that bitch was that crazy, man.”
“Well, you know what they say,” I said, with a blasé shrug that I totally didn’t feel.
“Don’t stick your dick in crazy?” he asked, squirming in his seat.
“Or, you know, one of your bro’s women, but yeah. That would be the one.”
“What’s your
excuse, then?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. I gave him a flat, cold look and he put up his hands in surrender.
“Okay, okay… How long is the offer good for?”
“Ten more seconds,” I said, giving no quarter.
“And if I do this, we’re good?”
“I wouldn’t say ‘good’,” I said. “But yeah, we’re as close to it as we’re gonna be, which is a hell of a lot better than where we’re at right now.”
He nodded slowly in that way that said he was still half-thinking and yet was halfway on the hook. I jerked on the pole and started reeling.
“Two more seconds.”
“All right, all right, I’m in. When and where?”
“Gimme your number, and you better not call her or screw me on this.”
“Call her? Hell, motherfucking no! She’s batshit fucking crazy with this shit.”
“Who you tellin’? Gimme your number.”
He gave it to me and looked down at the cup of coffee asking, “Is this for me?” I gave a curt nod and he sighed. “This new girl of yours, the author, she doing okay?”
“That’s really none of your business,” I said and he nodded, picking up his cup and sipping. My anger was quickly cooling, but he didn’t need to know that.
“What Torrid did, that wasn’t right,” he said. “Is any of the rest of it true, though? About her and that other guy?”
I told him and his eyebrows went up. He shook his head in disbelief. “Shit,” he said and sighed. “Sounds like Tori and this Mark guy are cut from the same cloth and totally made for each other.”
I barked a bitter laugh and said, “Wouldn’t that be some fuckin’ Karma?”
Ackley smiled and nodded, “Yeah, it sure would.”
We finished our coffee in silence, but the peace accord had been made. He still needed to follow through, though, before I put the word out over the wire to the rest of the guys. I wasn’t born last night and I didn’t trust him or anyone attached to Torrid as far as I could throw them.
Phase one complete. I thought. Now for phase two.
24
Lilli…
I woke up alone in Backdraft’s bed and sucked in a breath. I pushed myself into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and when I put my hands back down to the mattress to prop myself up, one of them came down on a piece of paper that had slipped off his pillow. Only two words were written on it but they were two of the most important words that had ever been imparted to me…
Us.
Always.
* * *
I closed my eyes and pressed the page to my chest, closing my eyes and sighing. My phone started buzzing on top of my clothes, which were on a metal chair by the bed. I reached over and snatched it up, answering it immediately.
“Where are you?” Veronica asked immediately.
“Backdraft’s,” I said.
“Where is he?” she asked.
“Not here, I woke up by myself.”
“Ooookay.” She drew out the word slowly, and my heart seized with dread. “Can you get a car back here?” she asked.
“Yeah, why, what’s up?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat and thought to myself, Oh god, now what?
“Tell you when you get here, just hurry, okay?”
“Sure, um, what’s going on?”
“Nothing bad, I promise.”
My chest loosened and my phone beeped, that low tone of a call waiting, in my ear. I looked and sighed, frustrated. I was going to ask her if it was nothing bad, then why couldn’t she just tell me, but instead what came out was, “Veronica, that’s Backdraft. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“Try and get out without being seen?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, bye.”
I accepted the waiting call.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Had to draw the paparazzi away. They saw me leave, they should be gone if you can go check.”
“Yeah, hold on, I need to get dressed. I’m going to put you on speaker.”
I put him on speaker and got out of bed, deliciously sore from the night before. I worked on getting dressed, pulling on my jeans once I had my underwear in place.
“Veronica wants me home, like, right now; I don’t know what it is.”
“I called in some favors; it’s nothing bad, I promise.”
“Why can’t you guys just tell me what it is, then?” I asked impatiently.
“What, and ruin the surprise?” he asked, and I was glad one of us was back to our old selves. I couldn’t help but smile ruefully, though.
“I think I’ve had enough surprises this week, thank you very much.”
“Lil. You trust me?” he asked and I paused.
“Of course, I do. Why would you ask me that?”
“I just need to know.”
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Want to give you some plausible deniability when it comes to your business, babe.”
“Okay, now I’m really worried,” I said, tossing my sweater over my head.
“So, you don’t trust me, then?”
“Backdraft, that’s not fair.”
“Okay, you’re right,” he said with a gusty sigh. “Let’s just say Tori’s fighting dirty and I’m fighting fire with fire.” I swallowed hard.
“And you don’t want to tell me because it may, or may not, piss off my PR firm, publisher, producers and what have you, and if it does, you know I’m Miss Goody Two-shoes and I’d sing like a canary.”
“Pretty much, babe, yeah.” He was laughing now, but I didn’t mind. The sound raised my spirits and put my heart a little at ease. His laugh had that effect on me.
“You vastly overestimate my goodwill when it comes to them,” I said. “But thank you for thinking of all of that.”
“What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Just trying to spare you from having to lie.”
He had a point. If I didn’t know, then they couldn’t get it out of me and I had no way of getting in any kind of trouble. So I guess the question was, did I trust him?
Answer? Yes.
“I love you,” I said.
I heard his smile through the phone, “I love you, too.”
I pulled on my last boot, swung into my jacket and picked up the phone off the bed, turning off speaker.
“I’m headed downstairs now; I need to call for a car to come get me.”
“Text you my address. I’ll talk to you soon, babe.”
“Okay, I’ll make sure security knows that you aren’t someone I consider a guest so much as a necessity. I’m sorry they denied you entry.”
“I’m sorry I threw a tantrum and busted my phone.”
I laughed and said, “You had a good reason. I’m sorry for thinking you didn’t care and for the thing with security.”
“You had a good reason, too, babe. You had a good reason, too.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.”
I sighed and felt edgy and nervous. He texted his address and I texted the car service. I went to put my phone in my jacket pocket and came out with a set of unfamiliar keys. I frowned and then it dawned on me – they were for his brownstone. He’d given me the keys to his place.
I clattered down the stairs and went to the front window, peeking out the ripped edge of the paper he had covering them from the inside. I let out a relieved breath. The coast was clear. The paparazzi had cleared out.
Thank god.
I watched for the car to pull up and bolted for it, after locking up.
“Antonio, hi,”
My familiar driver said, “Hi, Ms. Banks, how are you doing?”
I gave a shaky laugh and told him the truth. “I’ve been better, Antonio. I’ve been better.”
“Yeah, it’s a real shame what they been saying about you on the TV. Breaks my heart, actually. You’re such a nice lady.”
“Thanks,” I said so
ftly. “That actually means a lot.”
“Anytime, Ms. Banks. Any time.”
The rest of the ride went by in a blessedly tranquil silence and, without being asked, Antonio pulled down into the garage for me so I didn’t have to get out in front of the cameras. I tipped him handsomely and he tried to give it back. I insisted, he thanked me, but before he could get out and get my door, I got it for myself. I went up the garage elevator to the lobby and then took the elevator up to my floor.
When I let myself in to my apartment, Veronica was waiting, serving tea to two unexpected guests, one of them familiar, the other, new to me.
“Yale,” I said, shutting the door behind me. “What are you doing here?”
He gave a tight-lipped smile and bowed his head. His lips continued to twitch with amusement when he said, “Ah, not today I’m afraid, Ms. Banks. Today I’m here in an official capacity. Please, call me Mr. Parnell.”
I eased across the polished wood of my floor and said, “Official capacity?”
“Yes, I need to take your statement.”
“About what?” I asked.
The woman with him arched one dark brow and said, “Ms. Banks, I’m Christina Marie Franco, a prosecuting attorney with the Indigo City District Attorney’s office. Mr. Parnell agreed to accompany me as a courtesy, but your case is actually my case.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Lilli, come sit,” Veronica said. “Listen to what they have to say, they’re here to help.” My assistant and best friend pulled out a chair for me and I drifted over to it, hanging my jacket and purse off the back. The two attorneys sat across from me and Veronica took a seat beside me.
“Mr. Parnell, Ms. Franco, if you’re worried about saying anything in front of Veronica here, because she’s my employee, don’t be. She’s also my best friend and I’d really prefer if we could all skip being so stiff and so formal in front of each other. It’s really not necessary.”
Everyone exchanged a look and visibly relaxed which made me feel ten times better.
