by Lewis, R. J.
Contents
Copyright
PART ONE
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
PART TWO
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Epilogue
Thank you
Sneak Peak
Copyright
Copyright ©2015 R.J. Lewis. All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, place, events, and other elements portrayed herein are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without the prior consent from the publisher and author, except in the instance of quotes for reviews. No part of this book may be uploaded without the permission of the publisher and author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is originally published.
PART ONE
Inside each of us, there is the seed of both good and evil. It's a constant struggle as to which one will win. And one cannot exist without the other. – Eric Burdon
One
Ryker
The Past
“What do I do if he has a gun and he shoots at me?” I asked, feeling the trepidation prickle my skin.
Ricardo looked at me like I was a fucking idiot, and I was. “You shoot back.”
I swallowed hard and rubbed my tingling nose. I needed another hit of that good boost. The adrenaline coke gave me made me feel like an immortal god. I could do anything with that shit running through my system. I’d been hooked on it for a few months now and it was the only good thing in my twisted, fucked up life. During moments like these, when reality had hit me like a ton of bricks, reminding me of what I was doing and who I’d become, I had clung to that drug like it was all that mattered in the world, and it was only because it made the truth disappear for a while.
I needed a lie. Fuck, that lie was all that kept me moving most times.
“Stay here,” Ricardo then said in a whisper, “I’m going to check out the windows and see if there’s any movement.”
He left me crouched behind the bushes of the run down mobile home and disappeared out of sight as he circled around it. It was pitch black. We were in that part of town where you didn’t even have a goddamn street light nearby. This shit made my Amber Alert prone neighbourhood look like an upper class dream.
Except for a dog barking far off in the distance, there was nothing but silence. Not even the sound of leaves swaying in the wind or the soft hum of someone’s television nearby. It was eerie as hell. I tightened my hold on the gun I’d been given. I’d been carrying it too often to count, and it still didn’t feel familiar to me. Despite its purpose, I didn’t feel protected. I was conscious of my own breathing, thinking for sure someone could hear my uneven panting if they walked on by. I was like a prey waiting for signs of safety, too frightened to face the unknown. I yearned for my old life.
How had things changed so fast?
Ricardo returned minutes later. “There’s no movement that I can see. He must be sleeping.”
“What makes you think he’s even here?” I asked him, kind of hoping we’d find a hole in our plan and turn back around.
I couldn’t see his face clearly, but the moment’s silence said enough. He was pissed. “His car is parked out front and his garbage bin was taken out sometime this evening, like all the other bins on the street. Man, why does Boss regard you so highly? You’re a useless tit.”
I opened my mouth to answer, but my brain went blank. I had no idea why Boss took me under his wing. I’d seen firsthand all the other meatheads that worked for him, and they’d never been on his good side the way I was. He’d never given anyone the mercy that he showed me the day his men found me in that alleyway talking to Allie’s beat up father. Boss was a man of mysteries, so I was certain I’d never get to the bottom of this one.
“So how are we going to do this?” I asked in an attempt to move on from my apparent uselessness.
Ricardo swept his dreadlocks from his face and looked back at the house. “I got some lock picks. We’ll go round back and I’ll have at it. You know how to work them?” When I shook my head, he rolled his dark eyes. “’Course you don’t. Don’t know nothin’. Come on and follow me, princess.”
I rubbed my nose again and followed him quietly around the house. The grass was overgrown and muddy from the night’s humid rainfall. I thought for sure whoever was inside could hear the slushy sounds of our footsteps right outside their window, and my chest pained from holding in my breath just waiting for someone to come bursting out the door with a gun in hand. I’d seen some crazy shit recently, so I wasn’t entirely to blame for this paranoia.
Ricardo went straight for the door and withdrew his lock picks from his pocket. I peered out into the unkempt yard, keeping a careful look out. I gripped the gun tighter as my adrenaline started pumping harder throughout my body. Christ, if shit went downhill tonight I was going to my death. No one would care. Just another stupid kid dead in the projects. Not even a passing thought for the people sitting around their table early in the morning, reading the newspaper with nothing but a detached curiosity for the happenings in Hedley.
“What the fuck?” hissed Ricardo in a hushed tone.
I jerked my head back at him. “What is it?”
He took a step back and jiggled the knob of the backdoor. “The door’s already unlocked.”
“Is that bad?”
He didn’t answer. I trembled a little at the warning I was feeling in my bones. Something wasn’t right. If he felt it too, he had bigger balls than me because he didn’t care. He turned the knob and pushed the door open. It creaked as it swayed away from the door frame. He aimed his gun up and crept inside, pausing once to motion me to follow him. I shoved away my unease and went after him.
Nothing but darkness greeted us. The house reminded me of a photo: still and unmoving, an image frozen in time, or some stupid shit like that. Ricardo may have said someone had been here hours prior, I certainly didn’t feel like there was anyone here now. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see piles of rubbish and junk strewn about. But what I smelled… it was worse than any off food I’d ever encountered. It was a rotten, gassy kind of smell, and the air thickened with it the more steps I took down the short hallway. Even Ricardo was covering his nose and stifling down his cough. He cursed under his breath and suddenly walked faster, like he knew exactly what was going on. I tailed him closely behind as he walked into the only bedroom there was and turned on the light switch.
“Fuckin’ knew it,” he muttered, blocking the doorway with his frame.
“What?” I had to look over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. The bedroom was infested with used needles and tiny, empty baggies. Bare drawers were thrown haphazardly all over the stained carpeted floor, and clothes were scattered everywhere. It looked like someone had torn it apart looking for something.
My eyes scanned the ground for not even a second before it connected with the bed, and it was then I felt my legs weaken. Ricardo slowly walked into the room just in time for me to grab hold of the doorframe and steady myself. Jesus fucking Christ, there
were dead bodies, sprawled face first on the mattress with blood pooling around their heads. I shut my eyes and tried to breathe through my mouth.
“Looks like someone beat us to it,” Ricardo, the sadistic little prick, said.
“Y-you… you said we were only going to scare him,” I whispered, my voice wavering. “You ne-never said anything about killing–”
“When someone owes us a debt, princess, we don’t give them ten million chances to repay. You get one opportunity. Why do you think nobody fucks with us?”
I didn’t respond.
“Fuck, man, open your pretty little eyes. Stop being a baby. This is what you do now.”
“If it’s done, I don’t need to look!”
He chuckled sardonically. “If someone took care of our hit, princess Ryker, then that means we got some competition goin’ on here.”
I’d only ever seen the beatings of men that had wronged them somehow, but never this. I opened my eyes and slowly walked into the room. I tried to detach myself from the sight, but my stomach churned. I swallowed back the vomit that was burning its way up my throat and rubbed my nose again. The sight before me was wretched. Something out of a fucking horror film.
Two bodies. One man and one woman in barely any clothing at all. I shuddered and looked away, pretending to look closely at other random shit in the room. Ricardo, on the other hand, circled around the bodies, leaning in and inspecting the wounds like he was some homicide detective.
“They’ve been dead for more than twenty four hours,” he said. “Fuckin’ smell like they been in a sauna all day.”
“Thought you said they took out the bin tonight.”
“Well, somebody did.”
“Why?”
“Probably to make the house look less conspicuous, I don’t fucking know. It’s clear these bastards were looking for something. Most likely money. The heroine baggies here are empty, and they ain’t from us. Looks like poor Chuck was also in debt with another crew and it got him clipped before we got to him.” He actually frowned at this, as though he would have preferred to have done it himself. “They got their heads blown off execution style, and it was unexpected. They were on this bed fucking like rabbits when they ate their bullets. Look how barely clothed she is. Unlucky bitch.”
I winced at his words. He said it in such an impersonal way, as though none of this was affecting him in the slightest. I knew it wasn’t. He was used to this kind of crazy. Gotta turn into his kind of crazy to make it in this life, Ryker.
“So he was the target, and she… she was what?”
He smirked. “She was at the wrong place, wrong time.”
I didn’t respond to that. I was hardly breathing and trying with every passing second to stop my stomach from twisting because, shit, it felt like there was a serpent running loose in there. Every second after that felt like a haze to me. I was dizzy from lack of oxygen, sick from witnessing something this messed up, and itching for another hit of some coke because I was starting to feel human again.
“We got ourselves an investigation,” he went on excitedly. “Time to start talkin’ to some of late Chuckie’s pals and find out who he’s been buying this shit from. Because chances are that provider’s stealing more of our business, and that shit ain’t on.”
I nodded like a robot, but I was barely digesting his words. I didn’t have to. I already understood what he was getting at. This was going to be yet another street war. He’ll find out the person(s) Chuck was buying from and then put them in the ground. Sending out the message that Hedley’s streets were already owned by the Syndicate, and you best not mess with that power.
“Alright, time to split, princess. We got lots to report to Boss, and then we got ourselves some good action…”
He carried on with his words when a noise caught my attention. I couldn’t figure out what it was until I put my hand out in front of him. He instantly shut up and watched me as I eyed the room cautiously.
It was a tiny noise at first. Like a quiet grunt that you’d never have heard had you paid attention to Ricardo’s yammering. As the silence filled every corner of the room, the sound came at me again, this time louder.
Little grunts. Barely audible whimpers you’d have to strain to hear. I moved over the rubbish on the ground and went toward it. Drawing nearer to the ground beside the bed, I bent down and pushed aside some drawers. More whimpers. Little, helpless cries that instantly raised the hairs on the back of my neck. If I thought I felt sick before, I had another thing coming. It was the cold taste of reality, and when I finally pushed aside everything that’d been in the way, I came face to face with it.
A bassinet was poking out from under the bed, halfway visible. I saw movements coming from within, of a blanket being kicked. My heart rate took off. Moving like a rocket, I rushed to it and pulled it out from under the bed. My breath caught in my throat just then, and tears burned the back of my eyes.
A baby.
A fucking baby.
In this mess. In this shithole of a drug nest.
Her mouth and eyes were open, but she could barely make a sound. In full panic, I glanced up at Ricardo. He’d blanched some, but his composure was still better than mine. He frowned and shook his head. “Don’t even think about it,” he said. But it was too late. I’d already picked up the tiny, frail body. Christ, how young was she? Her head fit in the palm of my hand, and she looked like she was swimming in her pink onesie.
“You put that thing back where it came from,” he demanded angrily. “We don’t snatch babies out of their beds, Ryker!”
“She’s half dead,” I retorted. “She would have been completely dead if we hadn’t come in here –”
“That’s not our problem.”
“Like hell it isn’t!”
The grave look on his face might have intimidated me ten seconds ago, but now I had a purpose, and like hell was he going to interfere with it. He took a step forward and pointed at the baby barely moving in my arms. “That’s not something we do. Put her down.”
“No.” I clutched the tiny body to my chest and turned away from him. I needed to get out of here now. I needed to get to a hospital –
“You’re a dead man if you think you can walk out of here with that baby in your hands, Ryker. We’ve walked in on a murder scene. What’re you gonna do with that baby? Someone’s gonna know you have it –”
“Take her to the hospital –”
“You’re walking a very dangerous path. Boss will have your head for this. Now I’m going to tell you one more fucking time: you put it back down and we get out of here –”
I turned back to him and took a step forward. I stared daggers at him, feeling the anger in me roar like nothing else before. I’d been treated like shit by this dickhead for far too long. I’d been fine with it, too. I’d accepted my new life, but that didn’t mean I was going to drop every single one of my morals in the process.
“No,” I cut in, pinning him with my icy stare. “No, Ricardo, you listen. What I do from here on out is none of your fucking concern. You don’t want any part of this? Fine. Take your ugly ass out of here and leave me to it. Nothing you say is going to change the fact I’m not gonna leave a baby behind, and if that means I’m walking to my death, then I’ll do so with a smile on my face. I’ve got nothing to lose, princess, so don’t be threatening my life like it’s all that matters to me. It ain’t.”
He just stared at me for a long moment. His eyes had widened some. He was speechless. Good, because I was certain I couldn’t hold another steady conversation. When the surprise wore off, he simply took off out of the room, and I was glad to see the back of his head. He wouldn’t leave me behind. He’d be waiting for me in his car, and the fucker was going to take me to the hospital whether he liked it or not.
You want me to make another man bleed? Fine. You want me to break some bones and empty a wallet or two? Fine. You want me to take some druggie’s life? Sure, it’d be hard, but I’d probably find it in me to do it. Ho
wever, I was not going to turn myself into the kind of monster that was too far gone from humanity to let a baby die in the process.
If that meant I’d get a bullet to the head for this, then sure.
I’d gladly eat it.
*
There are some moments in life you can’t move on from. They twist your soul on the inside, until you’re sitting here, snorting more coke just to wash it away.
Four hours ago I was washing away the reality of being with thugs who hurt people for a living. Right this second I was washing away the image of a dying baby in my arms. Her sunken eyes and flushed cheeks wouldn’t leave my mind.
Fuck.
Wearing my hoodie, I’d dropped her off at the emergency doors in the hospital. The hardest part was walking away and not knowing what was going to happen to her. Was she going to be alright? How long had she been crying before her sounds died off to those soft grunts that I could still hear inside my ears? This shit was killing me.
“Not joinin’ in on the fun, I see?” I tensed at Boss’s voice from behind me. I was sitting on the porch outside of the shitty cabin we used as our rendezvous point. There was a party inside. I could hear the music from here, and the loud hoots from the sheep I liked to call henchman. Lot of alcohol. Lot of chicks. Same shit, different day.
I barely moved my shoulders in a shrug. I bit the inside of my lip to fight my frown as he took a seat next to me. I didn’t want to look at him. He could read all of me when I locked eyes with him. I stared out into the dark forest, and it was only when he nudged me that I looked down at the beer bottle he was handing me. I took it from him but didn’t drink.
“Ricardo told me everything,” he then said. I couldn’t detect any disapproval in his tone. He sounded neutral, and that was sometimes worse. Unable to resist, my eyes jumped to his face for a brief moment. Nothing but a bald head and a thick black beard to look at, his face was just as impossible to read.
Boss was a man of mystery. Nobody knew his real name. Nobody knew where he lived. Nobody knew a single thing about him. He just came, barked orders, and left. And at nights like these, he stuck around and celebrated, sinking his dick balls deep into any young looking thing.
