by Jane Aimee
"God's time is the best," the other lady added, and went on to other discussions.
Shortly thereafter, Samantha got up to leave. From the corner of her eye, she saw one of the women turn to whisper into her companion's ear. And they turned to look at her. She could feel their eyes on her back as they watched and talked about her.
Your God has treated you poorly. The Condemner wouldn't stay silent.
Samantha gathered the pile of banana peelings away into the waste basket outside. Coming back in, she put off the light from the living room and went into the bedroom to sleep.
Not even the darkness would hide her from the sorrow she felt in her heart. The darkness rather seemed to magnify the sorrow. She tossed and turned in bed for a long time before finally falling asleep late in the night.
Chapter Five: The Frustrated Teacher
Children are usually synonymous with play and inattentiveness, but Bethany was yet to learn even after three months of their being together, that she needed to exercise patience with them.
She had more than twenty kids in her class, aged five to seven. The kids talked and played and fought over possessions even while the exasperated teacher tried to teach them from the picture rolls.
But they would become excited when it was a singing and dancing class. While the children enjoyed it, she felt uncomfortable with all the childish dance styles which she was expected to do. Why do I have to go through all this? Why should everyone have what they want and Bethany what she doesn't want?
There were rumors already flying around of George's imminent marriage. Bethany hoped it would not be solemnized at the Tabernacle. She didn't know how she would respond if she had to witness George marrying someone else. He had never asked her out but she had so engaged her emotions for him that it still pained her to think he had dropped her for someone else.
The adults continued to miss her. She answered endless questions every time. The one that made her conclude Pastor Felicity had wicked motives in the reassignment was from the Senior Pastor. When he talked with her, she could see from his facial expression that he didn't approve of it.
"Please, I'll encourage you to stay with the kids. I know you don't love being there but it's still service to the Lord. We have asked for a kids' Pastor from the headquarters and I'm sure very soon you'll be back in the choir."
~~~~
The new children's Pastor arrived three weeks later. Bethany saluted the arrival with great joy and attended the rehearsals with the choir during the week. Faith, the new leader didn't like her return but the others were glad to have her back. On Sunday, she sang with the rest of the choir while Faith led.
Mrs. Gotlieb, who assumed the young lady had been demoted even upon return, didn't appreciate the arrangement. She fidgeted in her seat, watching her friend seated beside her husband on the pulpit in obvious discomposure.
After church Bethany was summoned again to the Assistant Pastor's office.
This time around the female cleric was grim and firm: "I don't want you in the choir, Bethany."
The young lady was confused. Had the kids' pastor not come?
"And we are not going to talk on this again. If you are needed in the choir, you would be informed."
The unwanted singer had all doubts taken away – her placement in the kids' church was not out of necessity. But she was still lost as to the true reason behind Pastor Felicity's actions.
Bethany thought the emotional turmoil was unbearable, but she was still to encounter another incident that would increase her pains.
She left the pastor's office and was met outside the church building by Mrs. Gotlieb, who had been longing to talk, nay, to advise the young lady.
Clad in her cream-white suit and boater hat, the old lady clasped Bethany's right hand in both hands and held it for some time before releasing. She then pulled her aside, out of the hearing reach of others.
"So glad to see you back in the choir. I missed you. I can't wait to hear your voice again."
"No, Ma'am. I'm remaining with the children."
The lady nodded her head to indicate that she understood, and then proceeded to say why she'd wanted to see Bethany in the first place. "Miss Bethy, are you soon to bring to public the lucky gentleman?"
Sensing the uneasiness in Bethany's face, Mrs. Gotlieb added, "I know you are a serious girl and I understand you are taking your time to make the right decision. Is that not so, Miss Bethy?"
"No Ma'am. I have no man in my life right now."
"Why?" Mrs. Gotlieb was careful not to sound too judgmental in her tone of voice. "You are beautiful and spiritual. Are you too strict on what you want? Maybe you could consider what is essential from what may be compromised. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I do, Mrs. Gotlieb. But that is not why I don't have someone."
"Miss Bethany." Mrs. Gotlieb held Bethany's hand again. "I recommend you pray seriously."
The tone of her voice had a mixture of concern and fear, for she wouldn't like to hurt the feelings of her favorite choir leader. "Being without a man is not really a comfortable place. When you are married, you command respect from everyone, but when you are single, people look down on you. Look at little Mabel, whose wedding was just announced. She's already getting respect from everyone even though she is just nineteen. I suppose you are getting to thirty, right?"
Bethany wished the conversation could end but she could not just walk out on the respectable lady. She had to endure the battery of questions and counsels.
"It would do you a lot of good in ministry to get married. Right now your status is some…' She hesitated before continuing, in whispers. "Some sort of hindrance, some sort of barrier."
She looked intently at the face of the girl, wanting to inform the young lady on the reason why she had been reassigned. Bethany understood but kept her outward reaction in check. Internally, she was boiling.
"If my two boys were not all married, I would have been recommending you to them. You are a good girl."
Bethany was not paying attention any longer. She wished the elderly woman would release her but Mrs. Gotlieb was far from through with her intentions for the conversation. "Miss Bethany, my first son is a medical doctor, did you know that?"
Bethany shook her head.
"His wife who is just thirty something years has had her uterus removed because of hmm...hmm…the term used for the condition has escaped my mind. The fortunate thing –which is what I want you to know – is that they already had kids. Do you understand what I'm saying, Miss Bethany?"
No Ma'am, I don't WANT to understand. I just wish you could let me go! "Yes, I understand, Ma'am."
"Good. Think of what I have said and pray. God answers prayers, do you hear me?"
Bethany nodded and Mrs. Gotlieb caressed her back. "God bless you, Miss Bethany."
Mrs. Gotlieb turned and went into the church building. When Pastor Felicity came out of her office, the older lady was quick to plead on behalf of Bethany. But she started her plea with wisdom. "Our dear singer is back in the choir. I thought she was going to resume her position."
Pastor Felicity knew how badly her friend and confidant wanted the girl back. "No, Mrs. Gotlieb. I have spoken with her. She is staying in the children's church."
"Pastor Felicity, your jealousy is too much. It will be obvious to everyone now that it was not necessity that took her to the children's church. There's a new Pastor for the children, whose wife is equally a children's lover."
"Mrs. Gotlieb, I spoke with Carl on this issue –and it wasn't comfortable. Let's leave it as it is."
"I bet you that poor girl is frustrated." Mrs. Gotlieb looked at her friend and made a demand on the bond of friendship. "I can't stand that boy –Faith, I can't stand him. His sings as if he's trying to impress someone or such. He's too full of himself. Pastor Felicity, you remember I was always up, with hands stretched towards heaven, when Bethany was the one leading."
"My dear Mrs. Gotlieb, my decision is good for family and the minist
ry. I don't think Faith is bad. I know you prefer Bethany, but at the moment, things hurt no one –really. Your frustrated girl will fare well. I can assure you."
Chapter Six: Accused!
Sometimes it is better to be ignorant of why you have to suffer humiliation in the hands of certain people you respect, for ignorance as they say is bliss. Your assumptions about their actions, since they are just your imaginations, may not hurt that much. But what would you do when you discover it is about a problem that already gives you anxiety and sometimes sleepless nights?
"When you are still single at a certain age, you are considered fair game by almost anybody." Daphne became blunt in her opinions as she tried to console the saddened Bethany. They were seated outside their apartment. "Everyone thinks they know why you are still single and it's their place to advise you on what to do."
"I should say that that approach is even better. It shows they are trying to offer a solution to the problem."
"Solution? Like in Samantha's church? Two separate Sundays I have been there, and each time I have witnessed all the singles called up front and the demon of singlehood allegedly cast out of them. Just when did singlehood become a demon? I bet you, it hurts psychologically, seeing the demon doesn’t want to leave. Some solutions are worse than the real problem."
"Would it not have been nice if Pastor Felicity done that, instead of feeling threatened? And she should have privately cautioned her husband about his mouth rather than venting her anger on me!"
Bethany broke the knuckles on her fingers, anger on her face and muttering to herself: "She thinks I love being single? If things could turn out the way I want, I'd get married tomorrow!"
Daphne looked fixedly at her. She knew firsthand the challenges and pressures from within and without that singles faced. She too became angry at what Bethany was being put through.
"There are singles who have regrets –wrong choices, wrong decisions, attitude problems, which resulted in them not being able to maintain good relationships that end in marriage. And then there are those that can't even be faulted for their status, yet people just say things as if they understand why every single lady is the way she is." She sighed.
Bethany stared at Daphne. She'd had never heard Big sis talk that way. Not with those strong emotions.
"I'll leave The Tabernacle. Pastor Felicity can't keep me there."
Daphne didn't think it was the right decision to take. She advised Bethany to let the anger and sadness of the moment subside before she could consider the option.
"But you can learn to love the kids' environment. They are an awesome group of people to connect with. For one thing, they don't think anything is wrong with you."
Bethany didn't argue with her friend's advice. She loved Daphne dearly, yet she was certain that thirty six years old Daphne didn't have the same perspective with her on the issue. Has she accepted that her chances for marriage are gone? I still have some chances and nobody is going to ruin them for me. "You wouldn't talk same if you were in my shoes."
"I'm fortunate to have a good Pastor's wife, who is also a counselor and an encourager. But that's because she's just being herself. If you want to be where no one would talk about you, then you just have to go to some cave and live the life of a hermit. But the truth is that man is a social being."
"There is a reason why some people adopted the live of a hermit. May be they saw that as the only way to be totally pleasing to God, free from man's opinions."
"That attitude falls short of God's standard. God made man for relationships and connections. We just have to learn to foster good associations while avoiding toxic ones. Do you know I left a single ladies' group because the group leader turned the whole thing into a training ground for desperate men-hunters? The group was started with good intentions for singles to meet together and encourage each other. But all of a sudden, I don't know how, the whole atmosphere of the group changed. Every meeting became an opportunity to learn a new tactic on how to grab his attention. A few of its members became disgruntled, but the leader and some supporters were bent on leading the group the way she thought was right. The membership and attendance of the group has greatly diminished."
A silence followed while they listened to the sound of cars and bikes. Sitting on the verandah or leaning against the iron protectors that surrounded the verandah was one of their favorite activities. Many a time they discussed serious issues there. Bethany was deeply troubled.
"Pastor Felicity is a hindrance to me, an enemy of progress."
"Maybe. But if I can be honest with you I'd say I don't think she can stop you from pursuing God's purpose for you. Bethy, I honestly think it's time you get busy your vision. That will cause the pressure you feel from within to lessen. You need to divert some of that pressure into your vision. You may not have to leave the Tabernacle but don't let her stop you. You can pray about it and know what to do."
Bethany chuckled inwardly. Even if I leave the Tabernacle, I am not going to start a solo music career. I will only sing in the choir. Who knows? May be by being very busy I was blinded to the men who had been interested in me? I will stay with the kids or go to the choir if allowed. That's all I'm willing to do for the moment.
An ash-colored Carina E wheeled into their driveway. Bethany threw a questioning look at Daphne. The latter winked. She had been expecting the visitor.
The average height man, in his early forties, well-built, clean-shaven and shaved head, came out of the car, holding a paper bag. Daphne welcomed and introduced him to Bethany as her colleague. She then took him inside. Bethany remained outside until Daphne came out asking her to join them.
The younger lady spent the entire time with eyes on the phone and ears on what the others were discussing. She was eager to know who he was, apart from being a colleague, and why Daphne had not hinted her on the expected visit.
He was not the first male visitor they'd had but He was the first to come in the true semblance of a suitor, as implied by his gift bag, which the curious girl later discovered contained among other things, a bottle of Daphne's perfume and a You Complement Me key handle.
"Wow! You can be secretive!" Bethany exclaimed as soon as the man was gone.
Daphne laughed and then sighed. "If it's something I was sure will work out, I'd have told you. But for the moment I'm just watching.
Bethany widened her eyes. "Will not work? Daphne you are not a little girl, neither is he a little boy. Someone is serious here. Big sis, please don't mess this opportunity up."
"It's complicated, Bethy. First, he has a broken heart –his fiancée of more than four years just recently called off the wedding. He'd already informed the school staff body of the wedding."
"What!?" Bethany wondered what kind of lady in her right mind would call off a wedding.
"And second, he gives the impression that I'm obliged to accept him. Bethy, you understand the reason why he thinks that way."
"Daphne, what kinds of objections are those?" The baffled Bethany threw her hands up in the air.
Daphne was quick with an answer. "He keeps talking about the lady! Even in your presence he still mentioned her. Bethy, I don't want to be evaluated through the standards of another woman that I have never even met. Even though she was the one who left, he still keeps telling people what a nice and diligent lady she was, and that he doesn't know what came over her. He thinks I should be desperate. Bethany it hurts!"
"What is wrong if he thinks you should be desperate? Go ahead and accept the guy. The essential thing is to get the ring and enter his house. Or, if you are really too proud, inform him that Bethany Yahfeh is super interested."
"Bethy, please (--)"
"Big sis, we must admit the bitter truth. There's an age a woman reaches that she shouldn't expect men to treat her as some teenage girl. We are old enough and past the time for such chasing. This guy too is old enough and wants to settle down. Accept him, period."
"Okay. I can try to give him a chance."
"
Is he Christian?"
"Can't tell for sure. But he attends church."
"But he doesn't look like one who'd resist change and maturity if you are serious in getting him interested in the things of the Lord –that is if he's not yet Christian."
"We'll engage in a lot of talking and getting to know each other. But (--)"
"But, just don't take too long. If he's Christian and you like him, which I know you do, accept him. Settle the other issues when you guys get married."
They both laughed, Daphne shaking her head.
"Big sis, you could be married in less than three months!"
"You think so?"
"I believe so. Once you give him a chance – and take him to mum, O Jesus! Mum would be so happy! – Once you take him to your parents and they give their approval, what else? All these talk of getting to know the other person well is mostly idealistic. You only know the real person when you get married and start living under the same roof with them."
"I hear you, Marriage Counselor, Bethany Yahfeh, Ph.D."
They laughed for some time before Bethany continued. "Big sis, there's no reason why you should not marry this guy. You both are teachers – that means common interests; you both are old enough to know exactly what you want. And the greatest thing: this guy has a broken heart, meaning he does not have time for any game playing. Forget the fact that he talks about his ex. Who would not do same if they were in his shoes? The more you give him a chance, the more he will quickly forget about her." Bethany laughed and added, "Someone said: 'a man with a broken heart is the easiest man to have. His heart longs for love and solace.'"
~~~~
After school on Monday, Mikael Nguni took Daphne out to an expensive restaurant, where they sat there the entire afternoon, talking to great lengths.
Mikael was still wrecked emotionally from his sudden breakup. Instead of the date being an occasion of knowing the other person and talking about what mattered most to each other, Daphne spent the time counseling Mikael.
