by Jane Aimee
"But God disposes," Bethany completed the phrase. She was grateful for Daphne's reply.
"But don't make a decision yet. Pray and think about it."
"I will."
Bethany was certain he would propose on the second date. To be certain that all was going to go well, she decided to call her parents to ascertain their approval of him should he propose.
"Inter-tribal marriages are not very welcome in my place," she told Daphne. "I know my parents are so eager to see me get married that they may willingly consider someone out of the tribe, but one never knows."
"I agree. You are dating him."
Bethany immediately dialed her mother's number and waited nervously for her to pick the call. After the usual banter, she informed her of Barry. Mum was super-excited. Bethany's marriage was a long-awaited dream. Her parents eagerly wanted to see it materialize.
~~~~~
Bethany wore an ankle-level short-sleeved silk gown. Her favorite soft yellow color. The loveliness of her chocolate-colored face, having received a meticulous touch of foundation and powder, was more than enhanced by the jewelry and the hairdo. A curly hairstyle, golden hoop earrings and accompanying chain. She looked fabulous.
Daphne approved the excellent look. They chatted while waiting for Barry to come pick Bethany up.
"I'm a bit nervous."
"Why? You have any forebodings?"
"No. Not at all. It's that kind of feeling you have when what you've long desired, and sometimes despaired it might never happen, seems to come so easily. You know, from all I discussed with Barry on phone this week, if he proposes tonight, I'd not have any reason to turn down his proposal."
"You are so sure he will propose."
Bethany laughed. "Big sis, stop reading my mind."
There was a knock on the door. The lady in love took one last glance at her housemate. The latter blew a kiss which she caught and opened the door.
Barry took the right hand she extended, with his left hand and did not let it go. He waved at Daphne from outside. Daphne waved back. Barry took his lady away.
"Lord I am not in the right place to tell her this. It will be misunderstood."
During the week, Daphne had developed misgivings about Barry. She'd not known him except from Bethany's account. She had only seen the man on the day he came to drop Bethany after their first date.
She strongly felt Barry was not genuine; he was a fortune hunter. But she was in a dilemma. At thirty six, she found it difficult to tell the thirty-one year old Bethany to turn down a guy. Her opinion could be interpreted as flowing out of envy.
"Lord, I can't do it," she whispered again.
~~~~
The evening progressed well. The blue lit room, at the restaurant of the five star Nova Hotel, coupled with soft music on the background, was a perfect scene. They ate stuffed chicken and dodo. Afterwards, they whiled the time over the special non-alcoholic wine which Barry had ordered.
The smile on his face said that he would soon pop the big question. He wore a grey shirt underneath a black suit. Bethany supposed one of the suit's pockets held the engagement seal. He grinned each time their eyes met. Every time, she responded by turning her face down. Inwardly, she wished he would get over with the emotional display and get unto the real deal.
Her phone gave a message notification. She read it and turned pale, face glued to the phone's screen.
Dear, I don't know how u will feel but I just have to say this. Barry wants to use u to get money from ur company for his travel plans. He's one of those boyz. I love u. Nancy.
To say that Bethany was stunned would be an understatement. She felt glued to the chair, her eyes still glued to the screen as if she was experiencing a nightmare.
At that moment, Barry sent his hand into the left inner pocket of his suit. It was time to catch the beautiful lady in her distraction. He held out the golden band with the right hand and only the touch of his left hand grabbing the lady's ring hand made her realize that the long awaited moment had come.
The ring was as beautiful as Bethany could have wished. A large diamond, which would be conspicuous to anyone who met her afterwards, was implanted at the top of the gold ring.
Her heart beat raced. She would not take it, yet she didn't know what to give for an explanation. Her desire for the man had been very obvious.
Barry noticed the change in the lady's mood but did not withdraw his extended hand. Bethany looked at the ring in silence. The coming of the waitress forced her to make a decision about the offer. "Barry, give me time to think."
"Bethany. Is there a problem?"
"Barry, I…I can't take that ring right now."
"Sweetheart, I admit this is too early, but (--)"
"No, Barry. Please let's hold on…for a little more time."
The young man, though disappointed, however showed gentlemanliness. He told himself that women would always play hard-to-get.
~~~~
He dropped her as instructed at number four, Bellrose Street. It was 7:15 p.m.
He was about to plead for a prompt consideration but the troubled lady dashed out of the car immediately it came to a standstill. She made straight for the third building off the street.
"Bethy, you forgot your purse!" She came back to take it. Barry clung to the purse, still begging for her consideration. He transferred the purse to his left hand and then held her hand with his right. It felt warm. Bethany looked straight into his face, her pulse certainly out of normal range. His handsome eyes. His lips. Her heart was bleeding. She succeeded to get the purse, and started with a run, even as Barry called for her to come back for more talks. He could not understand her sudden change of behavior.
Nancy opened the door when Bethany knocked. The nurse knew why her friend had come. She let her in without a word, bracing herself to give details of the message she had sent. Bethany sat down and was silent for several seconds. Her head was hung down; her hands rested on the laps. When she took up her head, Nancy looked down at her own nails.
"I do not remember telling you about Barry."
"Yeah. And I do not know him."
"I am confused. What then is going on!?"
"This afternoon while I was in prayer I became burdened for you but I didn't understand what was going on. I continued in prayer until the Lord gave me a word for you. I intended to talk with you tomorrow in church but later on I felt compelled to send you that text message."
Bethany felt even more pained. Her suspicions that Nancy might have gotten news about the relationship from someone else or might have seen them together were debunked.
After what seemed like a quarter of an hour, though it was not more than three minutes, Bethany spoke again.
"Nancy, I agree with you that the message is from the Lord. What I do not understand is why he would only speak for the purpose of restraining me. If He can be that clear about me not marrying Barry, why can't he just bring the right person my way?"
"Bethy, the Lord has not restrained you from marrying Barry. He has saved you from heartbreak. Barry was never going to marry you. Marriage proposal was just a bait he was using on you to achieve his goal. Once he got the engagement ring on your finger and had you buying into his lofty plans, he was going to convince you to take out a loan from your company which he was never going to repay. He planned to disappear after getting the money."
A long painful silence followed.
"Nancy, I'm tired of being single. When will the right person come? God seems to be doing nothing despite my constant fasting and praying –there's no prayer point I have not prayed about that I think is worth praying. If He can be that clear as with my relationship with Barry, why doesn't he settle the issue of marriage for me, once and for all?"
Nancy did not know how to answer the question.
"I am bound to get into these sorts of nonsensical relationships as long as the Lord doesn't make His will clear to me."
Nancy came closer and held the grief-stricken lady's han
ds.
"I can't stand the pressure and the ridicule any longer," Bethany complained, "I just want to be married."
"Dear, I know you feel hurt, but remember that the Lord has your good at heart. He will never do anything to hurt you."
Those words sounded like clichés to Bethany's ears. "But His silence is hurting me. I'm tired of having people say things to me they themselves do not understand. I am being restricted in church for no fault of mine. Colleagues sometimes make jokes about me." Bethany knew she was exaggerating. Kaleb alone made such jokes, though the others would laugh at his comments.
"Dear, I know people may say and do hurtful things to you because you are still single but you can't just act for the sake of saving your image or to prove something to the mockers."
Bethany was surprised; she didn't expect such comprehension from a younger lady who was engaged to be married. She felt greatly comforted.
"When I was your age, I had a lot of zeal for the Lord – I still do – but there are challenges of not being married at my age: the stares when some people get to discover that I am still single; then I have to deal with some opportunist married men –once they discover one is still single, they just think you are available for them; then there's the unusual restriction I have in church for the simple fact that I am single and a threat; the constant advice that I should pray harder; all of these get me frustrated. I have been praying but (--)"
Charlette's You Alone played softly from the radio beside the window.
The two friends listened. There was a divine download in the air.
For the first time ever, Bethany welcomed mental objections to the opinions –for that is how they sounded to her that time – of her favorite gospel singer. Yet inwardly she could not kick against the goads. That sound was dropped on time, and though she didn't appreciate its timely message, she did recognize its intended purpose.
As the sound died down, she gave her last complaint and reason why she must get married. "Nancy, I'm equally tired of restraining the passions from within. I keep asking myself, 'how long am I going to do that?' I sometimes do get loose in my fantasies and…and…it gets hard. You understand what I mean."
How can she understand? Here she is, soon to be married. What has she known about endurance and abstinence?
The nurse had another surprise for her sister and friend.
"I understand, dear. It will surprise you to hear this from me – we are Christians and there's nothing wrong in discussing these issues. I have a strong libido, and it has not always been easy. I prayed about the loose fantasies, and this is how the Lord answered me. He said I have no business nurturing unclean imaginations about sex: that I shouldn't add fuel to a fire without the authorized fire extinguisher, unless I want to get into trouble. The feelings come because it's normal, but I strive not to engage in unholy imaginations. At the beginning, it was hard, but the more I strove to keep a healthy mind, the more I have been able to maintain the right boundary between normal desire and filthy thoughts."
Bethany swallowed hard. Which was more painful, she couldn't tell, the counsel or the youthfulness of the counselor?
"Dear, you shall get your fire extinguisher," Nancy said with a little laugh, trying to cheer her up, but Bethany did not find it funny. That SHALL is not a specified date. Why would you not laugh? Your fire extinguisher is a few months away from being authorized. You don't even know the mental agony I am in right now.
~~~~
Daphne was still awake, waiting, when Bethany returned at 10 p.m.
The look on Bethany's face and the ring-less finger initially made her think that Barry had not proposed. She felt relieved. She had feared that her lack of courage to talk about what she felt concerning Barry might have led to Bethany engaging in a bad relationship.
Bethany recounted the events of the evening and Daphne listened keenly.
"Dear, the Bible says 'the heart of man is desperately wicked'. Who could have known that he was a con, looking at his innocent face? Thank God for divine intervention."
Bethany pitted her thumbs against each other while the remaining eight fingers stayed clasped together, her hands resting on her knees. The evening, which had started off as a memorable day, turned into one of her worst nightmares.
Their discussions, which went past midnight, ended with the resolution that she should send Barry a text message to inform him of her decision of not wanting to see him again. To make sure he would not take it as one of those women's playing-hard-to-get tactics, she wrote:
I do NOT want to ever set my eyes on you again. I know about your evil plan.
~~~~
Bethany lay in bed beside Daphne that early morning hour, staring at the ceiling without seeing anything in her view. She believed life was leaving her being.
You would think that such divine intervention intended to avert suffering and preserve dignity would be greatly welcomed by one who professed faith in an all-knowing good God; but the lady, like most of us humans, would not appreciate that work of God which we perceive as negative, without first seeing its positive counterpart.
Barry looks too clean and innocent. Who could have thought? I wish this were a long dream, from which I would wake up to find out that the day for our second date had not passed. And that Barry is the right one for me.
Chapter Nine: Gold of Ophir
Two months after Bethany's birthday party, Mavis started dating a guy in church, but she kept the relationship secret from her friends. Four months later, when she and the fiancé had gone through the church's premarital counseling and the banns would soon be announced, she decided to inform her friends before Daphne should hear it for the first time in church.
The bride-to-be also wanted to solicit their participation in the wedding program in whatever capacity they would want. She met Daphne and Bethany in the former's house
"He's the man of my dreams!" she said excitedly. "He's smart, highly educated and …of course, capable."
"Wow! Congratulations, Mavis." That was Daphne. Bethany remained silent, seated on the arm-chair. "Bethy?" Daphne gave an inquisitive look
"Well, don't judge me." Bethany replied. "She hid it from us."
Mavis explained that because of a past failed relationship she had decided not to make the relationship with Samuel public until the walk down the aisle was certain. But Bethany would not have it. "Haven't you seen those videos of people separating at the altar?"
"Well," Mavis shrugged her shoulders, "but my relationship had reached the point I couldn't keep it secret anymore. You didn't want me informing you after the altar, did you?"
"How long have you known him? I remember that during my birthday, six months ago, you didn't talk as one who was dating."
Daphne, who was seated on her computer screen at the table, sent a piercing look that told Bethany to shut up. She knew the motivation behind the question. Mavis knew too but refused to answer. She changed the course of the conversation.
"You ladies just tell me which part to you'd love to play. Already, Samantha says she's not in the mood –that she's sick. I wonder what an excuse, given that the wedding is in a month's time."
"Mavis, I'll bake the cake," Daphne said and then added, to the delight of the bride-to-be, "for free."
"O Jesus! Daphne, are you serious?"
"Hmm"
Bethany reluctantly promised to later think on what part to play. As soon as Mavis was gone, she let her feelings speak.
"Listen to the man of her dreams," she said with scorn, "smart, highly educated and…of course, capable. Capable? Yet she is excited for a free wedding cake!
"Bethy"
"They are the kind of Christian fiancées that start living together even before walking down the aisle. How long have they even dated before hurrying to the altar? I hope your church does pregnancy and other probing works before conducting a wedding as done in The Tabernacle."
"Bethany, stop it"
"And I'm sure that she who cannot pay tithes is bea
ring the…the…the brunt of the wedding expenses, just to make it happen in no less time."
"Shut up! Shut up! One more evil word from you again and…" That was the harshest tone of voice Bethany ever heard from Daphne.
"You and Samantha may have your nasty thoughts about Mavis, but that doesn't change a thing. She's getting married whether you think she deserves it or not."
"Daphne! I am going through a lot of pressure! You are the last person I would expect to add to it."
"Your ideas about Mavis' marriage are not caused by your pressures. It's because you think she's not spiritual enough and therefore shouldn't get what you long for before you do. You think God rewards spirituality with marriage, huh!?"
It hurt. Bethany immediately took her leave.
"Bethany, please come back. Bethy!" Daphne ran after her but did not succeed to stop the angered friend from boarding a taxi.
An hour later, Bethany, already in her apartment, received a text message from Daphne.
Bethy, I'm sorry for raising my voice at u. Pls, forgive me. I love u. will see u tomorrow after u come back from work.
She did not reply the message immediately. Daphne was the biggest encourager she had ever known. For Big sis to have raised her voice, it meant the situation had really gotten into her.
Bethany was hurt and sorrowful at the same time. Had she known that the evening would turn out that way, she would have avoided the encounter. She admitted to herself that the way she had responded to Mavis' invitation and what she had said about her to Daphne was unchristian. But the thought of the less spiritual persons having it easier than her made her unwilling to accept what Daphne said. Why does it have to be that way?
She needed to reply that message:
Big sis, I'm equally sorry. Forgive me. Pls, give me some time to cool off.
She knelt beside her bed and prayed. "Father, I am sorry for what happened this evening. I shouldn't have talked about Mavis that way. It was bad. Please forgive me.
"Lord you know my thoughts and feelings. I cannot hide them from you.
