Jared leaned close and murmured, “He’ll be fine. He’s taken his medication. He seems much calmer each time I see him, more attuned to his surroundings. Remember that last night he joined in with the group he was sitting with.”
“I know. But the fear is there. What if he has another psychotic episode?”
“You’ll handle it like the first one.”
Kathleen started to say that she hoped so, that she prayed every day for the strength to deal with Mark, but Terry interrupted with, “Dad, I’m hungry. When are we gonna eat?”
Jared glanced at his son. “Right now.”
As Terry hurried from the room, Kathleen noticed he kept his distance from her son. She couldn’t blame the boy for being wary of Mark. Even her son saw the look Terry gave him and frowned. He hung back, motioning to Kathleen to stay, while Hannah and Jared left the den.
“I’m not that hungry. I’d rather stay in here.”
“Why, Mark?”
Her son stared down at the floor, his brow creased. “Dr. Martins and I talked about what I did. I think Terry is scared of me.”
Kathleen put her arm around his shoulder and was glad when her son didn’t flinch. “Then come into the dining room and show him things have changed. That you’re better.”
He sighed. “I guess I can do that.”
Kathleen walked with her son toward the dining room. Maybe they shouldn’t have come tonight. Was she expecting too much of Mark? Was she letting her growing feelings for Jared color her perception?
There were two places left for her and Mark when they entered the room. One was at the end of the table and the other on the side across from Hannah and Terry. When Kathleen sat facing Jared and scanned the table, for a brief moment she felt as if they were a family. The realization they weren’t brought a dull ache to her heart. She had always wanted more children and that didn’t seem possible. She had to think of Mark first and foremost, and how could she ask someone else to take on the burden of caring for her son? Even someone as wonderful as Jared had his limitations.
The aroma of onions and other spices mingled with freshly baked bread. When Mrs. Davis came out of the kitchen and put two large pizzas on the table, Mark’s eyes gleamed. Kathleen sent a warm smile to Jared. Pizza was her son’s favorite food and even though it had been served the evening before, it was a perfect choice for three children.
Terry started to reach for a piece when Jared said, “Let’s give thanks first, son.”
Terry snatched his hand back and dropped his head while Jared said, “Lord, thank You for all this wonderful food but most especially for the company of good friends. Watch over all at this table tonight and be always in our lives. Amen.”
Terry mumbled amen quickly, then grabbed two pieces of pepperoni pizza with everything on it. Hannah followed suit with Mark right behind her.
“School starts soon,” Kathleen said, all the children groaning. “I thought if you wanted, Hannah, I could take you shopping again for clothes.”
“Really?” Hannah’s eyes grew round. “Are you sure?”
Kathleen nodded. “I could use some new clothes myself and wouldn’t mind your input.”
“You mean it? You want my help?”
“Yes, we could do it some time this week.”
“How about me?” Terry asked, gulping down a huge swallow of milk that left a white mustache on his face.
“I’ve got to take Mark shopping for school. Why don’t you come along then if that’s okay with your dad?”
“Sure.” Jared’s eyes crinkled at the corners, his two dimples appearing.
Terry looked down at his plate and didn’t say a word. Tension swept through the room, chilling the air.
Mark shifted in his chair, scooted it back and rose. “Excuse me.”
The minute her son left, Hannah rounded on Terry. “I’ll go with Kathleen and Mark shopping. I’m no scaredy-cat.”
“Hannah!”
Jared’s stern voice sliced through the mounting tension. Terry’s hunched shoulders and downcast eyes made Kathleen’s heart wrench.
She stood and walked to his chair, squatting down next to it and touching the young boy’s arm. “Terry, I understand why you are afraid of my son. I would be glad to take you shopping alone. Just you and me and afterward we can visit the ice-cream store. There’s a hot caramel sundae with my name on it, just waiting for me to walk through the door.”
With eyes glistening, Terry glanced at her. “You don’t mind going three times?”
“No. My son has been helping his grandparents in their backyard. It’ll give him more time to be with them.” Kathleen didn’t say that she didn’t leave Mark alone, not yet. Even though he was sixteen, she was afraid she would return home and find him gone again. The memories of searching for him were still too fresh in her mind.
“It’s Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with a knife,” Jared announced triumphantly to everyone sitting at the game table.
Hannah and Terry groaned. Kathleen handed Jared the pack to check his answer. He slipped the three cards out and smiled.
“You always win,” Hannah said with a pout.
“Can we play again? That was what I was going to say my next turn.” Mark tore off his paper and crumbled it in his hand, tossing it on the table next to him.
“Sure. If everyone else wants to play again.” Jared shuffled the cards.
Kathleen checked her watch. “We have time for one more game.”
“Can I be red this time?” Terry asked Mark.
Mark slid the game piece to Terry.
While Jared dealt the cards to each player, he thought about the past hour playing with Kathleen, Mark and his children. This was the way a family should be, he mused as he looked at his cards and marked his paper. Even Terry was relaxed now around Mark. And Mark had gotten into the game, winning the first one. The smile that had graced the teenager’s face had lit the whole room. But best of all was Kathleen’s accompanying look of happiness.
He knew in his marriage to Alice there had been times like this, but as the years passed they had become fewer and fewer. Kathleen was the kind of mother he wanted his children to have, but could he risk his heart again to give his children what they needed?
Terry went first. “Look out. Here I come. I’m gonna win this one. Red’s my favorite color.”
“If that’s the case then I’ll win. Yellow’s my favorite color.” Hannah took the dice and threw it. When she got a two, her face fell.
“Better luck next time, squirt.” Mark took his turn, moving his game piece six spaces into a room.
Jared caught Kathleen’s gaze across the table. A light shone in her eyes that touched a part of him he thought had died a long time ago. He began to dream—dream of a family, whole and complete with a mother and a father for his children. The vision began to grow as each player took another turn.
When Jared started to pick up the dice for the third time, the phone rang. “Hold everything. I’ll be right back.” He hurried to the desk and snatched up the receiver. “Hello.”
Kathleen watched Jared’s happy expression melt into a frown, his brow deeply furrowed. She knew something was wrong. All her attention focused on Jared as he finished his conversation and put the phone back on its hook. He pivoted.
“There’s been an emergency with one of my patients. He’s at the hospital and Mrs. Davis is gone for the evening.”
“Mark and I will stay here until you return.”
“I can’t—” Jared looked at Kathleen, his taut shoulders relaxing. “Thanks. I appreciate the help. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”
“That’s okay. If Mark gets tired, he can sleep on the couch. When do Hannah and Terry need to be in bed?”
Jared headed across the room toward the door. “Terry by nine-thirty. Hannah ten-thirty.”
Kathleen noticed Hannah sticking her tongue out at Terry and the young boy returning the gesture. “We’ll finish the game without you. We’ll disperse your cards amo
ng us.”
At the door Jared paused. “I don’t need to tell you two to mind Kathleen, do I?” He pointedly looked from Terry to Hannah.
They both shook their heads.
“Can we have ice cream before we go to bed?” Terry asked, grabbing the dice to toss.
“That’s fine.” Jared left the den.
“Now I know I’m gonna win,” Mark said, taking his turn and moving five spaces.
By the time the game ended twenty minutes later Hannah had managed to win and taunted her little brother with that fact.
“Losers get to clean up,” Hannah announced, sitting back in her chair and folding her arms over her chest.
“Oh, no, Hannah. You have it backward. The winner gets the privilege of cleaning up while the rest of us get our ice cream.” Kathleen rose, biting her bottom lip to keep a straight face.
“I don’t get any ice cream?”
“You do as soon as this mess is cleaned up. We’ll be in the kitchen.”
“But—” hung in the air as Kathleen hurried the boys from the room.
In the kitchen she filled four bowls with chocolate chip ice cream. As Terry and Mark sat down at the table, Hannah came bounding into the room, her face flushed from rushing. She spied her bowl and quickly grabbed it, then flopped into a chair next to her brother.
Kathleen joined the group. “After you finish your ice cream, Terry, you’ll need to get ready for bed.”
“It’s still early. It’s only—” the young boy spied the clock on the wall, his mouth curving downward.
“Boy, the time sure does fly when you’re having fun. It’s nine-fifteen already. Time for little boys to go to bed,” Hannah said with a huge grin. She scooped up a large spoonful of ice cream and popped it into her mouth.
Terry started to protest. Kathleen held up her hand. “Hannah.”
The young girl stared at her bowl and mumbled an apology. Terry beamed, finishing his last bite.
Jared let himself into his house, the quiet a balm after the hectic few hours at the hospital. “Home,” he sighed the word as he walked down the hall toward the light in the den.
When he entered the room, he found Kathleen asleep in the lounge chair, her head cocked to the side, her feet propped up, her face relaxed. Beautiful. His heart expanded at the sight of her in his house as though she belonged here forever. That thought sent a jolt through him.
Moving further into the den, Jared noticed Mark asleep on the couch, one arm dangling over the edge. If he checked, he knew his children would be in bed upstairs. Again the feeling that Kathleen belonged in his life inundated him.
Quietly he made his way to the chair and knelt down beside it. He hated to wake her up, but it was after midnight. He watched her for a few minutes, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the serene cast to her features, as though she had not a trouble in the world. He wanted that for her and would do everything in his power to make that true.
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he brought his hand up to touch her arm to wake her up. “Kathleen.”
Her eyes slid open and she stared at him, her lids half closed. A smile leisurely graced her mouth, then her eyes. She stirred, straightening. “What time is it?”
“Nearly one.”
“How’s your patient? Everything okay?” She put the leg rest down and brought the chair up.
Jared rose, hovering over her. “He’ll be fine in a few days. Nothing too serious.”
“Good.” Hannah combed her fingers through her hair and swallowed several times to coat her dry throat. “I must have been more tired than I thought. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She searched the room until she saw Mark sleeping on the couch. The tension in her shoulders eased. “We’d better go home.”
“How would you like to go sailing next weekend?” He hadn’t meant to blurt the invitation out like that, but one look at her beautiful face, her hair disheveled, and he couldn’t help himself.
“Sailing?”
“I keep a sailboat at the lake.” He offered her his hand and helped her up. “I want to make it clear it would be just you and me. No kids.”
“A date?”
“Yes,” he murmured, realizing he still held her hand between them, only inches separating them. “I’m asking you out on our first official date. What do you say? We can have lunch and go sailing.”
“I didn’t know you had a sailboat.”
“There are a lot of things you probably don’t know about me and I’m sure there are a lot of things I don’t know about you. But I want to know.” He shifted even closer. “I want to know everything.”
She gulped, her eyes widening. “You do?”
“Kathleen, I’m not going to fight this attraction between us anymore. I want to see where it will take us.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, you’ll go?” His heartbeat accelerated.
She nodded, her eyes a soft brown. “How can I turn down an invitation like that? I’ve never been sailing and the idea sounds intriguing. But most of all, I want to spend time with you.”
He framed her face with his hands and brought his mouth down on hers. The touching of their lips sent his heart racing even more. His fingers delved into the short strands of her hair, the feel silky. Her scent of lilacs washed over him.
When they parted, he felt as though he’d lost something. He wanted to kiss her again and again, but with Kathleen he would have to take things slow and easy or he would frighten her. For his own sake, he needed to take things slow and easy. His bruised emotions were still too raw not to be cautious.
Chapter Ten
The sun bathed Kathleen with warmth while the wind caressed her skin with coolness. The sound of the sails flapping in the breeze mingled with the lapping of the water against the boat. Not a cloud in the sky and the lake was smooth, calm. A perfect day, she thought as she lifted her face to the sun.
“I was worried when the weatherman said we had a fifty-fifty chance of rain today.” Jared sat behind the wheel on the thirty-foot sailboat, dressed in jean shorts, a white T-shirt and deck shoes.
“Is this the same weatherman from church that you listen to every morning? The one who predicts rain when there isn’t a cloud for a hundred miles?”
“You need to stop listening to Hannah,” Jared grumbled with an exaggerated frown.
“On the contrary. She has some wonderful stories to tell.”
“I’m afraid even to ask what she has been saying.”
“Nothing too damaging.” Closing her eyes, she pretended to settle back as though she was going to sunbathe and not elaborate.
She felt Jared’s presence towering over her. Her eyes snapped open. “Who’s driving the boat?”
He smiled. “No one. What did she say?”
“I’ll tell you if you go back over there and put your hands on the wheel.”
He backed away, his hands up in the air. “Okay. If you insist on me steering this boat, I will, but I want to know what stories my daughter has been telling you.”
“Fine.” Kathleen swung her legs around to face him. “Your daughter is a fountain of information.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He slipped behind the wheel, his whole attention riveted to her. “Spill it. What did she tell you?”
She shrugged. “Nothing really.”
“Kathleen Somers, I can’t believe you said that after telling me my daughter is a gossip.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Okay. A fountain of information. The same thing.”
“No, it isn’t. Information and gossip are two different things.”
He rose, a menacing expression on his face. “Do you want me to come over there and—”
Laughing, Kathleen shook her head. “I’ll tell. You stay put.” She crossed her legs and lounged back against the seat cushion. “Really it wasn’t anything. I just wanted to know what else you might have—like a sailboat—that you’d neglected to tell me about.” Picking up her white hat, she put it on to
shield her face. “I was afraid you would want me to go flying in a plane or something like that.”
“What’s wrong with flying in a plane?”
“I’m one of those people who feel if we were meant to fly we would have wings like birds.”
“Rest assured, I have no plane tucked away.”
“Yes, I know.”
“What else do you know?”
His penetrating gaze seized hers. The intensity of his look captured her words and held them. Finally she blinked, breaking the visual connection. “I know if I don’t put more sunscreen on, I’ll be a painful shade of red by the end of the day.”
“Kathleen.”
The warning in his voice quivered down her. “Hannah really didn’t say much.”
“Don’t forget I know my daughter well. She loves to talk.”
“I know you don’t have a plane. She did tell me about the cabin you all have rented every July for two weeks. Why didn’t you do that this year?”
Jared looked away.
“Was it because of Mark?”
“We were kind of busy. Before I knew it, July was over. Now it’s August and school starts in a week. It’s no big deal.”
She rose, making her way to where he was and sat beside him. “It is a big deal to me.”
“Was Hannah upset?”
“No. She’s too busy earning money, but I think Terry is disappointed you all didn’t go this summer.”
“I’ll talk with him. I thought I explained. I told him we would go later—maybe spring break.”
“Oh, you did. But that doesn’t mean he was happy with the change in plans.”
“He should have said something. Hannah should have said something.”
“I think your children are trying to protect you.”
His hands on the wheel tightened, his knuckles white. “Protect me? Why do they think I need protecting?”
Kathleen laced her fingers together and stared at her hands. “Remember they were living in the same household as you were when Alice was drinking. Hannah knows you weren’t happy.”
What the Heart Knows Page 13
