Shameful Scars: (Scars Book Three)

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Shameful Scars: (Scars Book Three) Page 12

by A L Williams


  When the two men left the kitchen, I looked at my brother. “You have been staying here?”

  “Yes.”

  “I assume you are looking forward to returning home,” he said. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. For some reason, the thought of leaving did not sit well with me.

  “Hayley and Corbin are still in danger because of me. It is best that I remain here.”

  Lucifer remained silent, studying me. “Alright.”

  I relaxed, grateful that he did not push until realization hit me. “Where is Adam?”

  “We did not know what to expect coming here. We dropped him off at his condo before we came. He did not like it, but his safety was of utmost importance.” I could understand that, seeing Hayley trapped against Lilith had been unsettling.

  “How did you know where we were?”

  “Andrew decided to look in the police database, and he saw that another child had gone missing. He contacted Ben and scolded him until he told Andrew what was going on. When we returned, I felt her. Her presence tugged at me as if I was connected to her.”

  I wrinkled my brow. “What do you think that means?”

  He rubbed his chin in thought. “I am unsure, but whatever it is, it is powerful.”

  The amount of power dripping from her had been suffocating, but familiar, and she was even more dangerous now after my rejection. We had to be ready.

  “I am going to check on Adam. Are you sure you wish to stay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Alright.”

  When we returned to the living room, we found Hayley and James talking quietly. They looked back, and James smiled at us. Hayley was trying to hide it, but I could see the exhaustion in her youthful features. “I am going to Adam,” Lucifer said.

  James nodded and turned back to Hayley. “If you want me to stay—”

  “Go home, Jamie. I’ll be fine.”

  James chewed his lip, and I stepped forward. “I am staying. I will keep watch.” James’s eyes widened, and he gaped at me. “This is my fault, and Lilith will come back.”

  I glanced at Hayley who was watching me with wary eyes. “Alright, call me if anything happens.” James narrowed his eyes in warning. He was still bothered by our dishonesty.

  He turned back to Hayley. “Oh, and no going to school, alright? It’s not safe.” I could see the urge to argue in her face, but she just nodded her head and slumped. Her education meant a lot to her. My heart ached from the guilt of disrupting her life. I knew this was for the best, but I wished there was another way.

  Lucifer and James both released their wings, and curled them around themselves, vanishing a second later.

  Hayley and I stared at each other in the silent room. I searched my mind for something to say, but Hayley spoke first. “Why are you staying?”

  “It is my duty.” That was only partially true. Yes, I felt responsible for their safety, but I also found it difficult to leave her side. “You should rest.”

  “It’s morning.”

  “Still, it would be best to get as much rest as possible after…” I could not finish the statement, the sight of Lilith’s advances making my stomach roll and nausea rise in my throat. I turned, about to return to my room, but was halted by Hayley’s next words.

  “Go on a date with me.”

  I whipped around and stared at her. I knew what a date was thanks to Lucifer, but the idea of me going on one was…

  I blinked. “Alright.”

  What was I thinking?

  This was not a good idea, was it?

  Lilith was out for blood. The last thing we should be doing is going on a date. I argued with myself until I saw a wide smile grace her face, and all doubt faded away. “Okay. Does tonight work?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Alright. See you then. I’m going to lay down for a bit.” She stood up and walked over to me, looking up at me for a second before walking out of the room.

  The shadows in the room shifted as the sun drifted higher into the sky, blanketing the room in warm light as the air conditioner kicked on.

  A date?

  I was going on a date

  The bright lights of passing cars and traffic lights swirled around me, blurring the downtown scene. People strolled by, chattering and laughing as they entered restaurants and clubs lit with an assortment of colorful lights. Flames danced in front of upscale restaurants and soft music drifted through the doors.

  The stench of trash, cigarette smoke, and urine filled the air. Hayley stood at my side in front of a small, local Japanese restaurant. Asian decor covered the exterior. I was dressed in a white shirt and black slacks. There was nothing special about the way I was dressed. Hayley wore a tight black dress that hugged her flesh so tightly she might as well have been nude.

  I licked my lips, eyeing the contrast of her milky white skin next to the dark fabric. My eyes trailed up to her golden locks that swayed in the warm summer breeze. Several strands fell into her face, and I fought the urge to brush them behind her ear.

  “Are we going in?” she asked, pulling me from my musings.

  “Yes.”

  I approached the restaurant, weaving through pedestrians. When we reached the door, I pulled it open, allowing her to pass. She offered me a small smile and entered.

  Inside, the wait station was stacked with menus and silverware. The young Asian host walked over, smiling professionally at us. I narrowed my eyes as I watched him stare at Hayley. I clenched my hand at my side, not liking the sting of jealousy.

  “Table for two,” I said flatly. His eyes widened, and he backed away. I was sure I was giving off hostile vibes, but I did not care.

  He guided us through the restaurant, the aroma of steamed vegetables and seafood strong in the small restaurant. We walked past tables filled with people, talking and eating.

  The host stopped at a table with two chairs in the back, near the restrooms. It was decorated with a small statue of Buddha, silverware, and chopstick. He held out his hand for us to sit. We sat down, and he placed two menus in front of us.

  “Anything to drink?” he asked.

  “A coke and a Saké,” Hayley said.

  The host turned to me. “The same,” I said. He nodded and left the table.

  Hayley leaned back in her seat as I scanned the room. Low, traditional Japanese music filled the dim room, mixing with the murmurs around us.

  When I looked back, Hayley watched me. I racked my brain for what to say. What did one talk about on a date? After searching my memory of movies I had watched with Lucifer and Adam, I met her gaze. “So, tell me a little about you.”

  Hayley chuckled. “Please, don’t start sounding like a cheesy rom com. I won’t be able to take you seriously.”

  I wrinkled my brow. What was a rom com?

  She shook her head. “Romantic comedy. Don’t get me wrong. I like them, just not in real life.”

  “I apologize.”

  She laughed again. “Relax. We’re having a nice dinner. No need to be so formal.”

  “This is always how I am.”

  “Good point. Well, maybe you’ll loosen up once the Saké gets here.”

  “What is it?”

  She grinned. “It’s alcohol.”

  I frowned. “I have never had it.”

  “Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

  Several minutes later, we had our drinks. A clear plastic cup with a bubbly dark liquid sat in front of me. I glanced at the oddly shaped ceramic containers in front of Hayley.

  The waiter took our order of an assortment of Sushi and tempura appetizers and left. I took a sip, grimacing at the taste of the Saké. Hayley giggled. “It takes some getting used to.” She took a sip and then set the Saké down.

  I took another sip, feeling more and more unsettled by the moment. I was outside of my element, and I knew it showed. “Well, I suppose I could answer your question,” she said.

  I placed the Saké on the table and watched her as she
leaned forward, sitting her chin on her hands with her elbows on the table. “I am from Tucson, born and raised. My mother is from Kentucky, like Cory. She was his aunt. She moved here for college, and soon after, met my father. He died of cancer a few years after I was born.”

  “My condolences.”

  She shrugged as if she did not care, but I could see the discomfort in her posture. “Anyway. Around the time I was six, she met Todd. My step-dad. He was alright. He had a good job, and it looked like he loved my mother. He was also kind to me. I would even say he loved me. Until…”

  Hayley visibly stiffened, and I remained quiet, giving her the space she needed to express herself. “Until my mother was killed by a drunk driver. After that, Todd changed.”

  “How so?” I asked, unable to keep the question from slipping. It was at that moment Hayley seemed to drift away to another place, far away from me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Hayley

  Rubbing my eyes, I climbed out of bed as the sun shot streaks of light onto the wall of my room. My dolls laid pressed against the wall next to a bookshelf, packed full of books and trinkets and a framed picture of mom, Todd, and me.

  So much had changed. We had been a happy family. Now... I swallowed, pushing away the tears that threatened to fall. My chest tightened as I walked towards the door. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and never wake up.

  That feeling had started the day mom was found dead, and Todd started acting differently.

  Before he was kind, and now his anger was the stuff of nightmares, especially when he was drunk. I was nothing more than the trash beneath his feet. There to serve him. For the longest time, I believed it would stop. That he was just angry, and he would get better.

  He didn’t.

  Days, months, and years passed, and my hope that he would be the man I loved, and that mom would come back faded away, leaving only sadness. It was my fault that he was angry. If I was better, the way mom was, he wouldn’t be like this. He would be happier.

  I crept down the steps, trying to stay quiet. Todd hated being woken on Saturday mornings. He worked a lot, so on his days off, he expected to sleep in. The gentle creak of the stairs set my nerves on edge until I reached the final step.

  I walked into the kitchen, releasing the breath I had been holding and began to prepare his breakfast. Every morning, I was expected to make him food exactly to his specifications, and if anything was off, he’d make me redo it, even if I was late to school.

  Once the food was prepared, I set the table, and just as I was about to set his fork down, the door swung open. I jumped, dropping the fork, and cursing to myself, picked it up.

  When I looked up, I found him scowling at me. I bit the inside of my cheek and ran to the sink, dropping the fork in it and grabbing another. I dashed to my chair and sat down. He eyed me with disgust and then lumbered over, dropping into his chair. He examined his food. I sat there with my head down, waiting for the verdict.

  I peeked up, and he started to eat. I relaxed and began to eat. After we finished, he leaned back with a sigh. “I have a date tonight. I expect this house to be clean.” I nodded absentmindedly and stood, gathering the dishes and taking them to the sink to wash. The chair creaked, and he walked out of the kitchen without another word.

  When the waiter returned with the food, I realized I had drifted away into my memories, leaving Gabriel sitting there silently. The plates were placed in front of us, steam rising and filling our noses with the aroma of Asian cuisine.

  We began to eat in silence, which I was grateful for. I needed to get my head on straight. I went on many dates, and I had never been this awkward or absentminded.

  What was it about them?

  When I reached for a napkin, my hand came in contact with Gabriel’s. A jolt of electricity shot up my arm, and I glanced at them, wondering if they felt it, too. Based on the expression on their face, they had. I pulled my hand away.

  Gabriel grabbed a napkin and wiped their mouth, and I did the same right after. They put it on the table and gazed at me. “He hurt you.”

  My eyes widened, remembering their powers to look inside your mind. “Did you…” I balled my hands into fist, squeezing the napkin in my hand.

  They shook their head. “No. The condition you were in yesterday after Lilith... after what she did gave that impression.” I relaxed slightly, still uncomfortable with the conversation.

  Thankfully, Gabriel turned their attention to a small platform off to the side with spotlights pointing at the microphones and stands. The main reason I chose this place was because I loved it. I felt comfortable here. When I was a kid, Mom used to bring me here to listen to her sing.

  “People sing up there?” Gabriel asked.

  “Yeah. I believe the singing will start sometime after nine p.m.” I leaned forward. “Have you ever sung?”

  “I never have. Why do you ask?”

  I shrugged. “Well, you’re an angel. Don’t you people lounge in the clouds with harps and sing?”

  “We are not cherubs,” they said with a chuckle.

  My heart warmed at the sound. I crossed my legs. “Do you want to try?” They furrowed their brow. “Come on, it could be fun.” I wasn’t sure why I was asking them. I hadn’t sung in a while.

  “Very well,” they replied.

  I grinned and jumped up, walking over and adding our name to the list. When I came back, we fell into silence once again and finished our meal.

  The stage brightened, and a man walked up. “Thank you all for joining us tonight for this lovely dinner and entertainment. We are going to make things a bit more interesting. Tonight will be a Karaoke set. We have several people who have signed up. And I will be choosing the song.” A smile spread across his face. “So, first up is Hayley and Gabriel.”

  I frowned. We weren’t the first on the list. He must have shuffled the line-up. I stood. “Let’s go.” Excitement coursed through my veins. Jamie had tried to convince me countless times to pick singing back up again, but I didn’t see the point. Right now, though, I really wanted to sing. I approached the platform, and Gabriel followed.

  When we stepped in front of the microphones, the large flat screen television changed, displaying Hurts 2b Human by P!NK. I was surprised they had it; it was a fairly new song.

  The melody faded in, and the restaurant fell silent. I closed my eyes with a steady breath, letting the music wash over me. I opened my mouth as the words flashed across the screen, and I began to sing. The words flowed from me as if by instinct. I didn’t even need to look at the screen. I had binged the album the minute it came out. She was one of my all-time favorite artists, and her words always left me feeling heard. I sang and sang until the chorus was over. Suddenly the most beautiful voice I had ever heard filled my ears.

  Gabriel sang. I turned to them, my jaw slack in shock. It was ridiculous and cliché, but they sounded like an angel. Their voice was husky with a touch of femininity that spoke of their gender. It wasn’t like I doubted their gender, but at that moment I could see it. They were both male and female, yet neither.

  They met my gaze as the chorus started, and I returned to my mic, falling into sync with their voice.

  We continued through the verses, and their voice wrapped me in a warmth I hadn’t felt since my mother was alive. The soothing quality calmed me in the same way hers had.

  When the song came to an end, applause broke out as the host walked over to the stage with awe on his face. I stepped away from the mic stand and followed Gabriel back to our table. The applause died down when the host began to speak. “Wow! That was wonderful!” He then called the next couple to the stage.

  Gabriel and I stared at each other. “That was nice,” I said.

  “It was. You have a beautiful voice.”

  “Thanks. So do you.”

  They smiled, warming me to the bone. How could someone who had been filled with so much anger have a smile that could stop your heart? I probably would never und
erstand, but I knew one thing. I wanted to see more of it.

  When we returned to the house, we walked through the door hall and stopped just between our two rooms. “That was…I had a good time,” I said, scolding myself for being so awkward.

  Gabriel smiled. “As did I.”

  We stared at each other, and I looked for something else to say. It wasn’t until I realized they stood just in front of me that I reacted. It felt like a force beyond my understanding pulled me to them, and our lips met in a rush of want I had never felt before. They wrapped their arms around me, squeezing me as close as they could. I groaned as they explored my mouth, no longer shy or repressed. They poured all of themselves into the kiss, and I was carried away, lost in them.

  Gabriel’s hands slid down to my thighs, and I realised I was pushed up against the wall. They pressed their frame into me, trapping me. I shuddered as their fingers brushed skin just below the hem of my dress. They pushed closer, and I felt their cock swell against me.

  They released my lips with a gasp, staring down into my eyes. Looking. Searching. The intensity of their gaze sent a thrill through me, and I leaned in for another kiss. They pulled away with a smirk. “Slow.”

  My heart hammered in my chest and need grew. The denial did things to me that I couldn’t explain. It was then I remembered something. “Wait...did you figure out your sexuality?”

  They leaned in and pressed their lips against the top of my head, inhaling. “Yes,” they rasped. “I am ace. I am graysexual. I do not desire sex, but you... you make me want you in a way that is unsettling. That is why I want to go slow. I want to savor you. I want to touch you and feel your flesh. Will you let me?”

  I bobbed my head, lust washing over me and sending me in a tailspin that threatened to make me fall to pieces. I didn’t know anything about graysexuality, but all I cared about was that Gabriel wanted me.

  I leaned my head back against the wall as they mouthed at my neck, trembling from the touch of their hands. My senses were on high alert. I could feel everything. Their warmth. The vibration of their skin and the beat of their heart. They hadn’t even gotten my clothes off and I was already desperate.

 

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