I looked up at his reflection in the vanity in disbelief. It took a few moments to register what he had just said to me. Was that all he really thought of me? That I was some “whore” looking for attention? I don’t remember how I got over to him or when I actually got up from my seat, but before I could even stop myself, I made my way across the room and slapped Julius across the face.
“I’m so fucking tired of you disrespecting me! Let me remind you of something, Julius. You need me—”
“Oh, I need you? Since when?”
“Are you fucking serious? You can’t get a fucking dime from your parents unless you marry me, you fucking dimwitted moron. Did you not remember what your parents said the night you took me to their shithole mansion for dinner?”
“Watch your mouth, Arianna,” he warned as a flash of anger crossed his face. I turned around and grabbed the closest thing off of the dresser, which happened to be my hairbrush, and hurled it at his head.
“YOU watch YOUR mouth! You’ve been treating me like shit for months now, and one day you’re going to come home from your stupid job and find your shit outside!” I screamed at him, pounding my fists into his chest. All of my anger and frustration from everything that had been going on between us was coming out, causing me to have a complete meltdown. Months of being ignored and talked down to had finally taken its toll.
He firmly wrapped his arms around me, making it hard to continue trying to cave in his chest. “Chill out, Arianna, damn,” he said as I struggled against me.
“Get off of me, you bastard,” I spat, trying to pull away from him.
He gazed at me for a moment with a sly grin on his face, which pissed me off even more. “See what you’ve done?” he asked softly.
I rolled my eyes and exhaled loudly. “You’re going to see what I’m going to do if you don’t let go of me!”
“Stop moving for a second, and you’ll see what I’m talking about,” he coaxed, the smug look never leaving his lips. Confused, I stopped moving and immediately knew what he was talking about. My being upset had caused him to become aroused. I glared up at him and snatched myself out of his grip.
“I’m no longer interested—” I tried to say before his lips attacked mine. Any hateful words that I wanted to spew out were evaporated when he began to kiss me with fiery passion, something that he hadn’t done in a while. When he finally pulled away, I gazed up at him in complete shock. I was still pissed off at him and wanted him to know that, but at the same time, I wanted him. I needed him.
“I still fucking hate you,” I said softly, never taking my eyes away from him. He grinned and nodded as he began unzipping the back of my dress.
“Good. I want to hear how much you hate me while I fuck you,” he growled, connecting our lips once more as he slid my dress off my shoulders. The demand of his words caused a shiver to rip through me. My body was tingling with excitement as I stepped out of my dress, allowing him to touch me in places that had been neglected for months. He walked me backwards until I fell onto the bed, my body burning with desire as he looked down at me. He planted scorching kisses upon my neck, moving down to my chest before stopping at my breast.
“And for the record, you looked amazing in your lingerie last night,” he said against my skin, nipping at my nipple with his teeth. The action sent a tingling sensation straight to my sensitive area, causing me to throb with need. He continued with this pleasurable torture until both nipples were rock hard before moving down to my stomach. I froze as he paused briefly at my panty line.
He was now venturing into unchartered waters. During our whole sexual relationship, Julius had never gone down on me. He would expect it from me, but he would always tell me that he couldn’t see himself doing that when it was his turn to return the favor.
Whatever.
I had to fight the urge to lift myself up on my elbows to watch him, fearing that he would shy away if he saw that I was looking. Just as I thought, he simply took my panties off and stroked my sensitive pearl with his fingers.
“I love how it doesn’t take much to get you ready,” he said softly, untying the drawstring of his pajama pants. I gave him a small smile, slowly becoming turned off. There was nothing passionate about this. I wanted sex where my guy and I would practically be ripping each other’s clothes off and wanting to please each other to the fullest extent. Julius was only concerned about his own pleasure.
I stopped him as soon as he was about to enter me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, kissing my neck as he tried to ease his way inside of me.
“Julius, wait a minute. You’re not wearing a condom.”
“You’re on birth control, aren’t you?”
“That’s beside the point. You still need one,” I stated, my mind going back to my conversation with Gia. If he was in fact cheating, I didn’t want anything that he picked up from his mistress. He looked down at me for a few moments before exhaling loudly and rolling off of me.
“Just forget it. I’ll finish myself off,” he growled, leaving the bedroom.
I sat up in bed and watched him leave. I’m pretty sure he was probably expecting me to run after him and tell him that I was sorry and that he didn’t have to use protection. Unfortunately for him, I was in no position to do such a thing. While he was in another room doing God knows what, I took it upon myself to seek my own climax.
After turning off the bedroom lights, I pulled out my phone, headphones, and my little pink bullet before settling underneath my blankets. After dealing with Julius, I truly needed to unwind, and I was glad that I had another way to please myself instead of relying on him.
The pink vibrating bullet was a birthday gift from Gia. She attached a note to it saying, “Don’t be lame at 25, get laid.” I turned it on and began to relax as smooth, sexy R&B flowed from my ear buds. The pulsing vibrations were sending chills throughout my body as my mind went back to Zane.
His face was crystal clear in my mind. I imagined his tongue was circling around my clit and his fingers stroking my G-spot. Just the mere thought of him was bringing me closer to the edge
I remembered how he would lick his lips after looking at my own, his eyes full of lust and desire. I imagined those same bedroom eyes holding my gaze as he pounded into me, with rough, carnal strokes that caused my entire body to vibrate. As My Body by LSG caressed my musical senses, I continued to fantasize about my sex god, imagining him making love to me in front of my bay window and the audience watching from the sidewalk. He would have his arm wrapped tightly around my waist as he pumped into me, pressing me against the window for everyone to see my face as he pleased me.
“Oh God … Zane,” I moaned, losing all control of my senses as my orgasm took over. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to pull myself together. I imagined Zane above me with a grin on his face. He would lick his lips and bend down to kiss me briefly before saying, “We’re only just beginning.” I shivered at the thought and feared that I would come again just from thinking about the damn man.
My chest heaved up and down until I finally regulated my breathing. Just as I was coming down from blissful ecstasy, I nearly jumped out of my skin when a loud text notification came through my headphones. I looked down at the unfamiliar number in curiosity and opened the message.
I wanted to show you I was brave enough to contact you. You’ve been on my mind since you left. Can I take you out for coffee this week? - Zane
I stared at the message in disbelief. What was I supposed to say? I loved fantasizing about him, but I was afraid of becoming too involved. The sight of his name caused a throbbing ache to start up between my legs again. I couldn’t deny myself of him, even if I wanted to. What harm would it do? It’s not like we would be having sex, although I wouldn’t complain.
I sighed and sat up on my elbows. I couldn’t do that. As much as Julius got on my nerves, I couldn’t do that to him. Anything that I had with Zane would be strictly friendly. As long as I could control my hormones, I think I would be o
kay.
The message on my screen was taunting me. I still didn’t know what I wanted to say to him. I did want to see him, but I needed him to know that this wouldn’t be a date. I typed a few different messages, only to end up erasing them because I thought they sounded stupid or cheesy. I was definitely overthinking this. I looked at the bedroom door and heard no sign of Julius moving around. Having a friend wouldn’t hurt. I took a breath and typed a simple four-word message:
I would love to.
I CAN MAKE YOUR FANTASIES A REALITY …
A WEEK LATER, I found myself lying across Gia’s couch, tapping my pen against my chin thoughtfully. I had turned in my latest manuscript, and now it was time to get serious about this new project. I hadn’t had a chance to meet with Zane just yet due to our conflicting schedules, but meeting with him had definitely been on my mind. I had been scribbling down every thought that I had about him, including the thoughts I had when I masturbated a week ago.
“We need to figure out how to get you some interesting content,” Gia stated, fanning the wet fingernail polish on her toes.
I let out a frustrated groan and closed my notebook. I knew I needed content, but where was I going to get it? I actually ventured out and tried to watch porn, but there was nothing romantic about anything that I watched. It was all just a bunch of meaningless sex that I just couldn’t write about.
“Allison told me the same thing, which is why she gave me this journal,” I reminded her, waving the book in my hand. Gia shrugged and stretched out on the floor.
“So the guy that you wrote about, is he your muse for a character?” she asked. I blushed at her question and shrugged as I picked at the corner of my journal.
“He could be.”
“So first things first, we need to figure out a title and what this book will be about. Have you thought of anything?” she asked, pulling her long hair into a messy bun on top of her head.
I bit the inside of my cheek. Because this was my first erotica, I had no idea what an appropriate story line would be. This project was going to require a lot of research, and I had no idea where to even start. Gia could give me advice, but at the end of the day, she couldn’t write the book for me. As I thought a little more, an idea hit me.
“What about making this story personal? I could make it about a woman who is trying to find her way outside of her family’s shadow and she ends up meeting a man who practically fulfills every sexual need she could ever imagine,” I said, sitting up quickly as excitement took over.
Gia scoffed and waved her hand to dismiss the idea. “I was so bored with that I didn’t even listen to the whole thing.”
“Then how about you come up with something, genius,” I challenged, folding my arms across my chest. Gia’s head lazily lolled from side to side as she thought. I knew whatever came out of her mouth was either going to be taboo or something that I definitely wouldn’t want to do.
“I think you need a research partner,” she finally said. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.
A partner for what?
Isn’t that why I was here with her? “Why would I need a partner? That’s why I have you.”
“Like I said before, I worship the pole. You’re beautiful and all, but I just don’t do girls.”
“What the hell are you talking about then? A research partner to have SEX with?”
“Oh good, you caught on quickly. I was prepared for you to do your usual naive blank stare. You worry me sometimes,” she chided as a grin spread across her lips.
I quickly shook my head. There was no way in hell I was going to find a “research partner”. If Julius were to find out about that, his whore title would probably stick to me forever. He didn’t take my job seriously as it was, so doing this would not help my case.
“I can’t cheat on Julius. I would feel dirty doing that,” I protested, pulling my cardigan tighter around me to cover myself. Gia smirked at me.
“Even if your research partner was Zane?” she asked.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t know how to respond. Having Zane as a research partner would almost be a dream come true, but I didn’t know if he was into doing such “research” projects. Either way, that would still cause me to get myself into a deeper situation that I didn’t want to get into.
“I have a boyfriend. Whether we’re compatible or not, I’m still with him until I figure out how to get rid of him. No matter how many times I end up hanging out with him, Zane will always just be a friend, and I want to keep it that way. It makes things less complicated,” I replied, turning to my journal to avoid making eye contact with Gia.
The idea wasn’t a bad one. The thought of doing everything that I had written in my journal with the actual man scared me. If I were to get involved with him in that way, what if I ended up falling for him? I would eventually have to tell him the truth in order to be with him and I didn’t want to walk away with a broken heart.
What the hell was I thinking anyway? This was purely research. This would end up being another part of my “escape” from real life. As long as I kept the two separate, everything would be fine… right?
“Anyway, I have another idea,” Gia stated, breaking into my thoughts. I stretched back out on the couch with a sigh, trying to prepare myself for the foolishness she was about to suggest.
“What is it now?” I asked dryly. Gia threw a decorative pillow at me and stuck out her tongue.
“Stop acting like my ideas are the worst things you’ve ever heard. I think you need a to-do list for your characters,” she mentioned, looking at me with hopeful eyes.
“Okay, what kind of list? Like objectives or something?”
“Yes, good! Man, you’re making so much progress from your old naive ways!”
“Oh, shut up. Okay, let’s make a list then. What should we call it?”
“We can call it…the Fuck List.”
“The WHAT?!” I shrieked. Gia rolled her eyes, pulled herself off the floor, and headed to the bar.
“Hold on a second. Once I explain this to you, I’m probably going to need a drink. You frustrate me to no end sometimes with your ‘innocence’,” she muttered, tossing ice into a small glass.
I inhaled deeply and rubbed my temples. This project was already becoming overwhelming, and I hadn’t even started writing it yet. My anxiety was through the roof as I worried about the content and whether or not I’d even be good at writing this kind of stuff. I was beginning to wish that I had rejected Allison’s suggestion. Even if she thought it would put me on a best-seller list, this stress wasn’t worth it.
“Open your notebook to a clean page so we can put this list together,” she ordered, flopping down next to me on the couch and taking a huge gulp from her glass. I sighed and followed her directions. We sat and brainstormed many different scenarios, and I scribbled all the ideas down in my journal.
“So you’re telling me I have to do all of these with my research partner?” I squeaked, surprised at the lack of control in my voice. Gia took another gulp of her drink and stood up.
“I’m going to need the whole damn bottle,” she said, walking back over to the bar. I glanced down at the list on my lap. These potential scenes were daunting if she was implying I’d actually have to do these things. They would be fine to write about, but because I needed to know what actually went down in these places, I’d have to experience these. I knew Julius wouldn’t want to do any of these. What in the hell was I going to do? I read back over the list and shook my head. What was I getting myself into?
“Read the list out loud,” Gia called from across the room. I let out a nervous breath and cleared my throat.
“Let’s see … ” I trailed, looking over the list again.
THE FUCK LIST
1. In the bathroom of a public place
2. In the backseat of a car in a parking garage
3. At a laundromat
4. At his place of business
5. In an elevator
6. U
nder the stars
7. In the shower
8. On the subway
9. On a playground
“And last but not least, in the kitchen,” I stammered, feeling my cheeks burn at the words that just left my mouth. I glanced over at Gia to see that she was now drinking from a tequila bottle. She hiccupped as she made her way back over to the couch.
“Sounds about right. Well now that I’m buzzed enough to be patient with you, I think we should think of a way to ask Zane to be your partner,” she slurred, reaching for my phone. I quickly put it out of reach and shook my head.
“Can I at least get to know the man first? I don’t want to meet with him for the first time and ask him to have sex with me so that I can write a book.”
“And why the hell not? The shit you’re doing with Julius isn’t even soft porn worthy. You need someone who is going to give you gritty, spine-tingling sex, something that you aren’t getting. The scenes you’re writing about that man are still lacking because you don’t have the experience to write them. If you’re going to write the book, write it correctly,” she huffed, turning her attention to her newly painted nails.
I was becoming frustrated. I didn’t know why she was getting so agitated. This was something completely new to me. Despite being thrown into this, everyone was expecting me to quickly adapt to thinking sexually all of the time. Having Gia getting upset with me because I was still embarrassed with what we were doing was really bringing me down.
Gathering my things, I headed for the door without a word. If I wanted to be berated or made to feel bad because of how I am, then maybe I didn’t need her damn help.
By the time she spoke to ask where I was going, I was already slamming the door shut and making my way down the steps. Maybe I needed to go home and evaluate this project a little more. I was starting to feel that I was officially way over my head.
When I returned home, Julius was nowhere to be found. It was almost seven in the evening. His workday ended around five, so where in the hell could he be? I tried calling him a couple of times and was sent straight to voicemail.
The Daring Assignment Page 5
