by Karen Muir
The Hanky Panky docked moments later. Rain poured down steadily as she helped Roderick tie up. By the time they transferred their gear to the boardwalk, she spotted Will and the boys coming her way. Her heart lifted, and she smiled at their approach.
“Gina, you’re back.” Ian and Harry dove for her legs and held on tight. Laughing, she knelt and took them in her arms, a warm and wiggly bundle of wet little boys she loved fiercely.
She rose from hugging them to meet their dad’s gaze. “Hello, Will.”
He nodded. “Gina.”
So solemn and grim, she wanted to say, “Relax, nothing happened.”
But Roderick chose that moment to brush past Will and take her in his arms for a passionate kiss. Startled and sputtering, she pushed hard against his chest. He raised his head and hugged her close, despite her resistance. “It’s been wonderful, darlin’. I’ll call you tonight.”
When he stepped back and winked, she wanted to smack him. That fervent display had been solely for Will’s benefit. Braced for fireworks, she turned to find Will walking stiffly behind the boys as they carried her belongings toward shore. Tension pulsed off him in near-visible waves.
Roderick hugged her again in the parking lot, and she growled in his ear. “Thanks a lot—jerk.”
Eyes wide with innocence, he raised his palms. “I did it for you, luv. If Will really wants you, he’ll make his move soon.”
She growled, not trusting his motives for stirring the pot. He left them with a cheery wave. “Have a fun drive home.”
Will focused on the road as he drove, and the car was quiet except for the boys’ backseat chatter. Gina had expected questions about the retreat and was disappointed by Will’s lack of interest.
When they reached her house, the boys clamored to go inside to see where she lived. Will gave a tight-lipped and grudging, “Okay.”
The boys helped her lug her belongings inside and regarded her zebra-striped couch and jungle motif with awe. “Way cool,” Harry said.
Will had thawed enough to say, “We’re glad you’re home.”
“Thanks.” She set her backpack on the floor. Drawn to the colorful fish in her aquarium, Harry and Ian spoke in excited whispers.
She smiled. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”
Hands in his pockets, he shook his head. “We really should be going.”
“The boys are content, and we need to talk.”
“We do?” He watched her prep the coffeemaker, and she spilled water on the counter. She quickly wiped it up then sat in the chair opposite him. Arms folded, his eyes cool, the stern headmaster had returned.
The boys’ soft voices came from the living room. “I like the red-and-white ones.”
“The gold ones are cooler.”
“We should get some fish, too.”
“Yeah, let’s ask Dad.”
She watched a wry smile spread across Will’s face and returned it.
He stretched out his legs, and the stiffness left his shoulders. “I like your house.”
“Thanks. It was a surprise inheritance.”
“From a relative?”
She shook her head. “From my landlady, Emma Peterson. I rented a room here while I was going to the U-Dub.”
“She left you her house? She must have liked you a lot.”
“I liked her a lot. She encouraged me with my studies, and we grew close. She had no family, so when her health declined, I took care of her. She was the grandma I never had.”
Memories of Emma were bittersweet, and she stood abruptly. “The coffee’s done.”
She filled two mugs and brought them back to the table. Time to talk. “About Roderick—” she began.
Will raised his hand to stop her. “No need to explain. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed, “but I want you to know that sloppy kiss he planted on me at the dock was our first. Nothing physical happened between us on the trip.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay. But did he try to make something happen?”
She stared down at her hands, remembering the candlelit dinner on Roderick’s boat their last night out, the soft music and wine, the smooth purr of his voice. “Don’t ask.”
His mouth tightened. “I’m trying really hard not to say, ‘I told you so.’”
“You don’t need to. Roderick’s fun to be with, but I can’t take him seriously. He’s too much of a free spirit, a maverick…”
“…a playboy,” Will supplied.
She laughed. “A likeable playboy, but he’s not the man for me.”
“It’s good you can see that.”
“But Mr. Right is out there somewhere waiting for me.”
“Hmm.”
“So I’m going to start dating again, just like you.”
“Glad to hear it.”
But he didn’t sound glad. He set down his coffee mug and stood. “It’s time for me and the boys to go.”
Happy they’d made peace, she followed them to the door and watched their car drive off. Will hadn’t seemed happy to hear she planned to date. She wasn’t, either, since he was the only man she wanted to be with. But she had to start distancing herself from him.
Back inside, she moved to the aquarium and smiled, remembering the boys’ excitement over her fish. Spotting her, they swam to the surface, their mouths opening and closing expectantly. She sprinkled flakes from their food tin into the water, her smile fading.
She hadn’t told Will she was quitting because she didn’t want to go. His parents were still in Africa, so he’d need time to find another temporary nanny to replace her, someone skilled and kind. Did she dare keep silent a little longer?
Once they knew she was leaving, it would shake up their happy and comfortable routine, and they’d all be sad. Chilled by the thought of never seeing them again, she rubbed her arms and steeled herself to say goodbye to the family she loved.
…
The following Saturday, Will stared into his bloodshot eyes in the bathroom mirror and swore. Another restless night. Gina was driving him crazy. He’d tried all week not to think about her dating other men, but graphic images plagued him of her being intimate with some new guy. In last night’s dream, they’d been laughing and rolling around naked in bed. His grip tightened on his toothbrush, snapping it in half. Damn. He tossed the broken shards into the trash and breathed out slowly.
Since his train wreck of a marriage, he’d avoided commitment, but the threat of losing Gina stirred a fierce urge to claim her. Bad-boy Roderick might still be prowling about, and her search for Mr. Right could hook her up with some new guy soon. He had to act fast.
On his way downstairs, he poked his head into the boys’ room and found them still sleeping. Fetching the morning paper from the porch, he sank into a recliner and scanned the headlines. Moments later, he’d taken in nothing, his thoughts all on Gina. What the hell.
Tossing the newspaper aside, he strode into his den to call Frieda, his senior neighbor lady and new babysitter. By eleven o’clock, he was on his way to Gina’s.
…
Gina spent the morning raking leaves from her front yard. Barefoot and sweaty, she was headed for the shower when the doorbell rang. Probably a neighbor kid selling fund-raiser candy. She’d been pegged as a soft touch.
She opened the door, surprised to see Will standing on her front porch, a colorful bouquet in his hands. “Hi, Gina. Is this a good time?”
Finger-combing her hair, she pulled out a leaf. “Sure, come on in.”
He stepped past her then turned and held out the flowers. “These are for you.”
Red roses mixed with delicate baby’s breath. What did this mean? Her hand brushed his as she reached out for them, and warmth spread through her. “Thank you, Will. These are beautiful.” She drew them near to inhale their rich fragrance. “I love the smell of roses.”
“Me, too. It’s like your perfume.”
Surprised he’d noticed, she smiled. “Yes…well, let’s pu
t these in water.”
She headed for the kitchen. Why was he here? Something was up. Uneasy, she filled a glass vase with water at the sink and arranged the bouquet. Finished, she centered the vase on the kitchen table. “There’s nothing like fresh flowers to brighten a room.”
“No. They look nice.”
Bracing herself, she faced him. “So what brings you here today?”
He shifted his weight and seemed uneasy, too. “I came because we need to talk.”
“About the boys?”
“No.”
She hoped he wasn’t here to talk about Roderick. “If this is another chat about the men in my life—”
“It’s not. I want to talk about us.”
She stilled. “There is no ‘us.’”
“There isn’t an ‘us’ now, but I’d like there to be.” He reached out to pull a second leaf from her hair and set it on the kitchen table. “I sense you want that, too. Am I right?”
She stepped back from him, stunned. Of course she wanted to be with him more than anything, but their relationship was built on a lie. “Does Roderick have anything to do with this?”
“In part.” He paused. “Watching him pursue you was a harsh wake-up call. But you intrigue me, Gina, and I’ve been drawn to you from the start.”
She sank slowly into a kitchen chair. As much as she’d dreamed of a moment like this, she had to discourage him. “We agreed—”
“We said nothing personal should happen between us. But I can’t ignore my feelings for you anymore.” He sat at the table across from her. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just give us a chance.” He braced his arms on the table. “I can’t make promises. I had a bad marriage, and it’s left me with hang-ups. I don’t trust easily, especially women. But it’s different with you. You’ve always been straight with me.”
Trust. Staring down at her hands, she longed to be the honorable woman he thought she was. But the moment of truth she’d so dreaded was here.
Or was it? Once again, she debated revealing the truth. Learning he’d been lied to would only worsen his trust issues. Rejecting him would be hard, but kinder in the long run. Hands tightening, she summoned her courage. “You’ve been dating Bree—”
“We’re friends, nothing more.”
He eyed her steadily, and she believed him. “You’re forgetting about the boys.”
“We’re adults. We both love Ian and Harry and would never do anything to hurt them. That won’t change, even if things between us do.”
The set of his jaw said he wasn’t giving up. She loved seeing him fight so hard for a relationship between them, but she couldn’t relent. “I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to go through that again.”
He nodded. “I’ve been hurt, too. But guarding my heart has been incredibly lonely.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “I can’t promise you won’t get hurt, but I can tell you this. I’ve never felt about a woman the way I do you.”
Her throat tightened. She’d loved before, too, but not like she loved Will. He was meant to be the love of her life. She could never tell him that, of course. She eased her hand from his. “Why me?”
He stood abruptly and pulled her to her feet. She gasped as he drew her near and cupped her cheek, his voice a caress. “Here’s why.”
He dipped his head slowly and lowered his mouth to hers. Soft at first, his kiss deepened as he folded her in his arms. Pressed tightly against him, she savored his unique scent, the warmth of his hands smoothing her back, the taste of his mouth. She slid her hands up his arms and behind his neck to fork her fingers through his thick, dark hair. His body hardened, and he lifted his head and stepped back.
Passion and protest swirled in her head, as right battled fiercely with her love for this man. “A physical attraction isn’t enough—”
He laid a gentle finger across her mouth. “What I feel for you is a lot more than chemistry. I like everything about you, from the way you look to the way you laugh. I love listening to you talk with my boys.” He caught her hand and slowly circled her palm with his thumb. “I want to be with you, Gina.” His voice softened. “In every way.”
Staring down at their joined hands, she wanted to be with him in every way, too. But it was wrong for her to say that, and she’d done a terrible job of rejecting him. Which left her no alternative but to tell him the truth.
Pushing back, she choked out the words. “There’s something I need to tell you about myself. Something bad.”
“No, Gina. Stop.” He caught her hand. “I don’t care about your past.”
“But you have to know. It will change everything.”
He frowned. “Are you married?”
“No, of course not.”
“In a relationship?”
She shook her head.
“Are you a criminal?”
“No.” Just a liar.
“Then, let’s save the confessions for tomorrow. Or better yet, never.” He took her other hand, too, and eased her closer. “Let’s start fresh and get to know each other better. Come spend the day with me.”
She drew a shuddering breath at the warmth in his eyes. He wanted her as much as she did him, but he had no idea what she was holding back. No question, she had to tell him the truth. But did she have to do it now?
Once he knew her true identity, he’d walk away for good. Today was her last chance to be with him for a few hours. If she didn’t, she’d regret it for the rest of her life. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Her heart hammering, she nodded. “Okay.”
Chapter Twelve
Gina showered and changed into a pink knit top and jeans, her conscience still raging. You have to tell Will who you are. She pushed back. Yes, I do. But not yet.
Today was their last chance to talk and share a laugh, to glimpse how good it might have been between them had they met differently. At day’s end, she’d confess all to him and watch the hunger in his eyes die. With shaky resolve, she returned to the living room.
He stood gazing out her front window, his hands in his pockets. When he turned at her approach, a smile lit his face. “You look great.”
“Thanks.” Her voice came out breathy, as though she’d been running.
“What would you like to do?”
She paused. “Maybe something outdoors. It’s such a nice day.”
“We could go to the beach, or a park. Or drive to someplace scenic, like Snoqualmie Falls, and have lunch.”
“How about taking a ferry somewhere?”
He nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Have the boys ever been on a ferry?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Let’s take them along.”
“Okay.” He rubbed his chin. “But I’d like to have time just for you and me. After the ferry trip, let’s go to dinner for some adult conversation.”
“I’d like that, too.” But it scared her. He’d want to know more about her, and what could she say? Her year in Canada and her family would lead to more questions she wasn’t ready to answer. She had to keep her secret a little bit longer.
His palm warmed her back as they walked to his car, a new intimacy in his touch. Moments later, they entered his backyard. Harry and Ian were swinging mallets at wooden balls from the new croquet set. Frowning and often missing, they didn’t notice her and Will until they drew near.
“Look, Gina, I’ve got the red stripe one,” Ian cried, holding up his mallet.
“For ten minutes,” Harry said. “Then it’s mine.”
Will introduced Gina to Frieda, his gray-haired neighbor who was watching the boys. Smiling, Frieda held a mallet in her hand, too. When asked, she agreed to return later to watch the boys after their ferry ride.
“What’s a ferry?” Harry asked.
“A boat,” Will said.
“Like the boat Gina went on?”
He shook his head. “Mu
ch bigger. Lots of people and cars will be on it.”
Ian jumped eagerly, his hands fisted. “Our car can go on it, too?”
“If we want it to. Or we could park it and be walk-on passengers.”
Harry’s eyes gleamed. “Let’s take it.”
“Okay.”
She suggested the boys bring jackets. Will got two of his for her and himself, and they got into his car. Approaching the dock, she turned to the back seat to watch the boys’ reaction to the massive green and white boat. At first sight of the Wenatchee, they fell silent, their eyes wide. She smiled.
Once onboard and parked amidst a sea of cars, Will took Ian’s hand and she took Harry’s to climb the steep stairs to the upper deck. They walked the boat from stern to bow, the wind whipping their hair as they looked over the sides at the ferry’s wake through the dark-green waters.
Back inside, Harry and Ian were drawn to the galley’s delicious smells. Will read them the wall menu, then the three of them used the men’s room. Finally settling on the bench seats along the wall of large windows, the boys excitedly pointed out seagulls and small private boats.
Gina watched them closely, seeing the wonder of the ferry through their eyes. Will stroked her arm, and she turned to meet his warm gaze. “I love your boys,” she said softly.
“I can see that.”
She caught her breath at the love shining in his eyes. Her heart soared joyfully, like a bird on the wing. This was the happiest moment of her life, hands down, and she’d remember it always. Her long-held fantasy of belonging to a loving family had finally come true. For one day.
The awareness it wouldn’t last could ruin today’s happiness, if she let it. Returning Will’s smile, she pushed it firmly from her mind.
…
When the ferry docked, they cruised through town and stopped at a beachside cafe. In the entry, the boys observed the tropical fish and plants inside a large aquarium. Standing behind them, she spoke softly to Will. “I see an aquarium with several colorful fish in your future.”
He smiled wryly. “Me, too.”
They had fish and chips for lunch then walked the beach. Gina found a white half shell and showed it to the boys. “A clam used to live in this.”
