by Karla Doyle
She nailed him with a one-eyebrow-raised stare. “Is that how you rationalize stalking me?”
“Stalking is harassment and also implies movement, neither of which I did, or would ever do. If anything, it was surveillance. But since I wasn’t doing it covertly, that’s not entirely accurate either.”
“I was kidding, Jake.” Her expression softened, making her impossibly more beautiful.
Also, making him more desperate for her forgiveness, if nothing else. But, man, he was desperate for more than that. Standing this close without touching her was torture.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.
“Everything is wrong. Nothing’s been right since Monday morning, when I fucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I haven’t been okay for a single minute since I behaved like the lowest douchebag on earth and lost the love of the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.”
She sighed, a glassy sheen enhancing the sparkle in her eyes. “You didn’t lose my love.”
He wanted to take that seed of hope and fertilize the shit out of it. Force it to grow, right here, right now. That wasn’t how things worked with Candace. Too much, too fast, and he’d smother whatever chance he might have.
“If you don’t have plans today, I’d like to take you somewhere. It’s about a forty-minute drive and I promise we’ll be back in plenty of time to get Macy from school. If today doesn’t work, I’ll wait. Unless you tell me to walk away and never come back, I’ll keep waiting, as long as it takes.”
“If it takes a week?”
“I’ll wait.”
“Six months?”
“I’ll wait.”
“Two years?”
“I’ll still be waiting.”
“Patiently?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Two years is a long time to wait.”
Two years without sex, that was her implication. Without intimate contact of any kind. He hadn’t gone that long without a woman’s touch since he lost his virginity, back in high school. “It’ll give me time to work on my grip,” he said, shooting her a wink.
Her laughter seemed to turn the sun up a notch. “You’re relentless.”
“It has a ninety-nine-percent success rate.”
“Only ninety-nine?”
“Yeah. Had to deduct a percent after Monday. But I’m going to do everything in my power to earn it back.”
“You’re doing okay so far.”
“Yeah?” It took every ounce of willpower he had not to brush back the lock of hair that’d fallen from her ponytail when she nodded. “Go for that drive with me, give me a chance to do more.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
“I agreed to the drive, Jake. That’s the extent of my commitment.”
“Understood.” He’d accept it—for now.
Her smile was cautious, but it was there, and it was for him. “I need a few minutes to grab my things.”
“Take as much time as you need, sweets. I’ll always wait for you.”
Candace
They’d been driving for nearly forty minutes, mostly in silence. Not uncomfortable or awkward silence, though a heaviness lingered between them. The weight of unsaid words. I forgive you. I love you. I want you back. With the big stuff unresolved, small talk didn’t seem right.
Maybe Jake felt the same way. Or, maybe he was waiting patiently, as promised.
Regardless, the ball was in her court. Jake had lobbed up an easy one, pouring out his regrets, telling her he’d wait for her. Her heart was ready to say all the things he wanted to hear.
The talking part would be easy. The making-up part would be amazing. The follow-up part, not so much. If she stayed in the tri-cities, there’d always be a chance her former job would rear its ugly head again. The gala fiasco was a prime example. As was Macy’s classmate’s birthday party. Or the day she’d encountered Jake in the potato-chip aisle at Walmart. And many others from the past three years, none of which she cared to think about.
She didn’t expect Jake to simply handle it, should she encounter another former client. Just like she didn’t expect him to hole-up in isolation with her, or uproot his entire life to start over somewhere else. These were her problems.
“This is it.” His voice broke the silence and drew her attention to his side of the vehicle.
“This is what?” she asked, as he parallel parked on a quiet, residential side street of the town she’d assumed they were passing through.
“The reason I brought you here. Something I hope you’ll consider.” He was out of the vehicle and around at her side before she could ask another question for him to cryptically answer. He opened her door and offered his hand. “I know I screwed up before. I fucked up astronomically, more than once. I was wrong. I was a douchebag loser of the worst kind, to the best person I’ve ever known. I’m going to be apologizing for the rest of my life, because even if you forgive me, I’ll never forgive myself. Please believe me when I tell you that it will never happen again.”
Trusting him so easily might make her the biggest pushover around. Love was a crazy motivator. Taking his hand, she joined him on the sidewalk. “I believe you, mystery man.”
“Is that an upgrade from ‘golden boy,’ or a downgrade?”
“It’s a lateral move,” she said, weaving her fingers between his. “I love you both equally.”
The admission stopped him on the spot, the abrupt halt bringing her flush against him. God, he felt good. So warm and hard and…right.
“You said you love me.” A statement, a repetition of the information she’d given, yet so clearly a question.
“I did. And I do.”
“I hate to sound like a girl here, but what does that mean?”
“Hey, no poking fun at girls.” She gave him a playful swat. “I am a girl, you know.”
“Oh, I’m very aware of that fact. I know it and I love it.” He easily countered her halfhearted attempt to escape, pulling her fully into his arms. “I am one hundred percent in love with everything about you. I always will be. No matter how you answer my girly ‘what are we’ question.”
“You’re horrible,” she said, shaking her head. “And I love you just as much.”
His smile accented the crinkles beside his eyes. Little furrows she could picture deepening to charming perfection as he aged into a sexy silver fox, many years down the road. Something she probably wouldn’t get to see in reality.
“Talk to me. You’ve got ‘but’ written all over your pretty face. And it’s not the ‘butt’ stuff I’d like you to be thinking about.” One of the many things she loved about Jake—his ability to inject lightness into a serious conversation without sacrificing its importance.
She needed to focus on the important stuff right now. “But,” she said, easing out of his embrace. “Sometimes love isn’t enough. We’ve already proven that.”
“I disagree. If we’ve proven anything, it’s that we can overcome whatever shit flows our way.” He cupped her chin, holding her there, locked and lost in his intense gaze. “Tell me you believe that. Tell me you believe in us as much as I do.”
“I want to, but—”
He blocked the word with one finger gently pressed against her lips. “No ‘but’ talk. Not unless it’s the kind with an extra ‘t.’”
“You are so relentless,” she said, when he lifted his finger.
“It has a ninety-nine-point-five percent success rate.” Grinning, he brought her knuckles to his mouth for a soft kiss.
Such a simple gesture, yet it made her heart flutter every damn time. “Ninety-nine point five is half a percentage higher than when you stood outside my front door.”
“You want to believe in us. I figure that’s worth half a percent.”
“What about the other half? How do you plan to get it back?”
He squeezed her hand. “You’ll see.”
Her mind was going in a hundred directions as he
led her up the walk of an older, two-story house. Jake wasn’t the type to play games. Or hide the truth—unlike she’d done, on more than one occasion. The shit that’d flowed their way hadn’t just come from Enzo’s manipulation, or Jake’s quick-to-react temper. She had contributed too.
“What is this?” she asked, as he pulled a key from his pocket and slid it into the lock.
“A house.” He pushed the door open with a sweeping motion. “Possibly our house.”
“Our house?”
He raised one hand while drawing her inside. “Hear me out before you shut me down.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Just like that?”
Standing in front of him in the house’s quaint front hall, she nodded. “Just like that.”
“I’m not used to you being easy.”
She gave him a playful shove, the kind he’d probably expected and hoped for, since he used the opportunity to pull her into his arms again. Exactly where she wanted to be. “I know that whatever you have planned, it’s coming from your heart. That’s who you are. It’s how you are.”
Jake’s cop face was sexy, but his no-holds-barred, look-into-my-soul expression melted her heart, along with her panties. As for her rapidly dwindling defenses…they’d be gone completely if he kissed her right now. Based on the trajectory of his mouth, she had about three seconds before that happened.
“Tell me about this house,” she said, before their lips connected.
“Your timing is—”
“Always controlled.”
“Not always.” There was no mistaking the intent in his words. Or his smile. “Want me to remind you of the times you weren’t in control?”
Yes. Yes, she did. A hands-on, tongue-on, cock-in reminder. And she was quite sure Jake would oblige, just about anywhere, anytime. All she had to do was ask. Or touch him…
He caught her hand before she reached his fly. “I’m going to show you the house now. Before I give in to your beautiful everything and we both forget why we’re here.”
“It’s hard to forget something you don’t know.”
“True.” He dropped a quick kiss on the tip of her nose before stepping back. Still holding her hand, he used the other to gesture toward the small room’s two closed, interior doors. “Both units in the house have an inside entrance as well as separate exterior entrances.”
“Both units?”
“Yeah. It’s a duplex. There’s a self-contained, two-bedroom unit on each floor. The current owners modified it from a single-family home to share it with their daughter and son-in-law. They have kids of their own now and need more space. The owners don’t want to convert it back, or rent the upstairs to strangers, so it’s for sale.”
“I didn’t see a sign on the lawn.”
“It hasn’t been listed yet. I learned about it from Curtis’s mother, who’s a realtor. The property belongs to someone she knows. If I buy it now, it’ll be private sale, so the price will be better.”
“If you buy it now.” Repeating the words slowly didn’t make her head spin less.
“Let’s walk and talk,” he said, guiding her to the rightmost door, then up the stairs beyond. “I can afford this house on my own. I’ve already been to bank and had financing approved. The mortgage payment would be about the same as my current rent. Meaning, you and Macy could have the upstairs unit free and clear.”
“So, you want to be my landlord and my…” She couldn’t bring herself to say sugar daddy. A term Jake had used when he threw Enzo’s offer in her face. “Benefactor?”
“What? No. Shit, that’s what you think I’m suggesting?” He released her hand, moving as far away as the narrow stairwell allowed. At the top of the stairs, he increased the gap, striding across the bright, open-concept living area, then turning to face her. “I’m not like him. I don’t want to keep you, I want to be with you. You and Macy. I’m just trying to do that in a way that doesn’t pressure you too much, or happen too fast for Macy.”
The lump in her throat wouldn’t allow her to speak. Instead, she crossed the room and hugged him, burying her face in the safety and comfort of his chest.
“I would never treat you that way, Candace. I respect you too much to do something like that.”
She pulled back enough to meet his gaze. “Why would you respect me, after everything I’ve done?”
“Because of everything you’ve done. You’re a strong, independent, incredible person. Smart and sexy and so damn soft, in spite of all the crap you’ve dealt with.”
She shook her head. Not to disagree, but to ward off tears. Crying would ruin the moment more than she already had.
Jake didn’t know that though. When he tipped her chin up and brushed a gentle kiss across her lips, she closed her eyes and let him sweep her away. Each second of connection, each teasing stroke of his tongue, took her further from the past, pushed her closer to the happiness they’d shared. Could share again.
“Would it be wrong to test out a bedroom in a house you’re thinking of buying?” she whispered against his mouth. “Just to be sure it’s got the right Feng Shui for good sex?”
“Sweets, any room we’re in together has the right whatever-you-called-it for great sex. But I would rather wait until this is our place to christen it.”
Once again, she pulled back to look at his face. “Our place? I thought you planned to no-rent it to me.”
He chuckled, then kissed her oh, so, sweetly. “I planned to share it with you. I thought you and Macy could live up here, for starters, while Trooper and I stay in the downstairs unit. Like a trial run. Once Macy’s comfortable with it, we could get rid of those doors at the bottom. Let her move freely between the levels, be with both of us. Then, eventually, when you’re ready, we can make it officially one place by permanently sharing a bedroom. There’s a nice little school within walking distance. It’s not a bad commute for me, and there are four universities within an hour’s drive, if you want to finish your degree before starting another job.”
“Wow.” And she’d thought her head was spinning before. She eased free of his embrace and moved to the bay window overlooking the backyard. Not too large, not too small, it had a tidy, family-sized patio, a swing set, and a garden. Picture perfect. So much so, she could perfectly picture the three of them in it. Laughing. Loving.
“Talk to me.” His voice slid into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.
“It’s a lot to take in.” She turned away from the idyllic vision of their future. “We just broke up. And…it was horrible.”
“And my fault.”
“Both of our faults,” she said, taking ownership of her part. “My heart was broken, Jake. I honestly didn’t expect to ever see you again. Now, you show up on my doorstep, not only wanting to get back together, you also want me to sort-of live with you in a house you’re planning to buy?”
“I’m only planning to buy it if you say yes to sharing it with me.” So calm. So matter-of-fact. Said like a man who was ready for everything he’d outlined.
“That’s a lot of pressure from a guy who didn’t want to pressure me too much.”
“You don’t have to decide now. It doesn’t have to be this house. It can be anywhere. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll wait for you, sweets. I promise you, I will wait.”
“Even if it means tossing away all your plans?”
“You’re the only part of my plan that matters. You and Macy.” He brought her hands to his mouth and pressed gentle kisses to her fingertips. “Before you, my only plan was to have no plans. You changed everything. I don’t care where we land or how long it takes to get there, I just want to keep moving forward, with you.”
Any excuses she made now would be just that—excuses saving her from possibly losing control. From losing part of herself to another person.
She’d already done that though. Whether she accepted his proposal or turned him away forever, he already had part of her heart. Only she hadn’t lost it to him, she’d given
it to him. Freely. Happily. Without regret. She wasn’t weaker because of it, she was more complete than she’d ever been.
She slid her palms up his warm, solid chest, stopping briefly to feel the steady beat of his big heart before moving upward, to cup his handsome jawline. “I love you. Show me the rest of our house.”
“Yeah? We’re doing this?”
“We’re doing this.” She shrieked as he scooped her off the ground. “Oh my God, what are you doing?” she asked as he tore down the stairs with her in his arms.
“Doing this the right way.” He stepped out the front door, only to turn around and step back inside. “Welcome home, sweets.”
She didn’t need to see another inch of the house. She already knew she was going to love it here.
Epilogue
Jake
The preoccupation that’d clouded Candace’s face since yesterday afternoon lightened as they entered the butterfly room. She took a deep breath of the sweet, tropical air, smiling as she exhaled. “This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” He dropped a quick, gentle kiss on her lips. Then one on Macy’s nose, currently pointed straight up as she watched. “Think we can get any blue Morphos to land on us today?”
Smiling, Macy bobbed her head. “They’re going to think we’re three big, yellow flowers.”
“I think so too.”
“I think you’ve been secretly planning this trip for a while,” Candace said, smoothing her hands across Macy’s shoulders, then his chest. “Even if the butterflies don’t love our matching t-shirts, I do. It was a very sweet idea.”
“Can I go straight to the waterfall, Mommy?” Macy asked, releasing Candace’s hand. Every day, she gained more independence. Spread her little wings a bit wider.
Under normal circumstances, he’d hang back on parent-related decisions if Candace was around. Not today. “Actually, kiddo, I need you to stay with us. Just for a few minutes. Then, if it’s okay with your mom, you can walk ahead of us on the path.” Just like she’d do in the future, if everything went according to plan.
