by Marinelli, Carol; Hayward, Jennifer; Stephens, Susan; Anderson, Natalie
* * *
He made himself work for a while on the plane—just to prove he could. But the rest of the time he sat comfortably as Kitty curled next to him, engrossed in the movie she’d selected. The limo ride to his apartment took too long and it was dark when he finally led her into his building. It wasn’t until he’d flicked the lights on and turned to see her reaction that he realised her pallor.
‘Are you okay?’ He stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders. She looked as if she was about to fall down at any second.
‘I’m just really tired.’ She grinned apologetically. ‘Like really, really tired. I think the flight got to me more than I thought it would.’
‘Then straight to bed.’ He led her to the guest bedroom and put her bag just inside the door. ‘Come on.’
‘I want to explore first.’ But she stepped into the room. ‘Wow, fancy.’
He glanced around at the sleek interior, with its private bathroom with his-and-hers basins. This wasn’t his room; this was the room he used when entertaining.
He frowned as he followed her back into the living area. ‘You like it?’
‘It’s very tasteful. Very different to Parkes House.’
‘Less full of stuff, you mean.’
‘Yeah.’ She winked at him and made a beeline for the bookshelf.
But it wasn’t the books she was checking out. It was the photo.
‘My mother,’ he explained, even though he knew it was obvious.
‘She looks like you.’ She smiled at him shyly. ‘Except for your eyes.’
An acrid feeling burned in his throat. ‘I have my father’s eyes.’
She glanced at the shelf but of course there was no photo there of his father. No other photos at all. For the first time he thought about how boring his apartment must look. The only personal things in it were his books.
‘I think you’re right,’ she said quietly. ‘I really need to get some sleep.’
He looked at her; she’d paled again. And suddenly he didn’t want her in that bedroom. He didn’t want the memory of other women in there with them. He wanted it to be theirs alone.
‘Come with me.’ He led her up the spiral staircase to his secret space and opened the door to let her past him. ‘This is where I usually sleep.’
Her eyes widened as she looked at the small room, her mind processing. ‘When you’re alone.’
‘Yes.’ It was small and very simply decorated, safe and quiet, up high on the mezzanine floor. ‘You’ll sleep better in here.’ He cleared his throat. ‘It’s darker—the curtains are…’ He was making excuses. He just didn’t want her in that other room.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Thanks. I’m sorry I’m so tired.’
So was he, but not because he was desperate to slake his lust. He wanted her to be okay. ‘Don’t worry, just sleep.’
He climbed in beside her and drew her close so her head rested on his chest. Slowly he relaxed as he felt her sink into sleep in his arms. Warm weariness stole into his bones, and that feeling of anxiety eased until he slept too.
* * *
‘Alejandro?’
His eyes snapped open; his heart was thundering. Kitty was leaning over him, her eyes wide and worried. He realised the reading light beside her was on and—
‘Are you okay?’ He sat up and checked his watch. It was only just after two in the morning. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘N-nothing.’ She eased back, turning away from studying him so intently. ‘I’m fine. I just…’
He waited, rubbing his hand through his hair. His forehead felt damp—had he been dreaming again? He froze.
‘I just—I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.’ Kitty suddenly slid out of the bed and sent him a dazzling smile. ‘I’m going to go fix something.’
Food? Fantastic. ‘I’m not eating noodles,’ he muttered.
‘Who said I was cooking anything for you?’ she said tartly, her spirit snapping. ‘Honestly, your arrogance…’
He laughed and rolled out of the bed, inordinately happy that she was back to her best. ‘I’ll cook. But I can’t believe I have to cook vegetarian.’
‘You’ve never used any of this, have you?’ She looked around the sterile kitchen while he headed to the pantry, praying he had something edible in there.
He stepped out, brandishing a couple of cans and a bag of rice. The freezer revealed more possibilities.
‘Are you sure it’ll even work?’ she teased as he flicked a switch on the oven. ‘I bet you’ve never turned it on even once before.’
He grinned at her. ‘You know I’m very good at turning things on.’
She rolled her eyes.
‘Not noodles,’ he said pointedly as he placed a steaming dish of rice and vegetables in front of her fifteen minutes later.
‘Oh, so good,’ she mumbled after the first forkful. Then she glared at him. ‘Is there anything you aren’t good at?’
‘So many things,’ he said lightly. ‘I won’t bore you with the list.’
Only a few hours later, when he got up to go to work, he tried not to disturb her, but she sat up anyway. She still had shadows beneath her eyes. He frowned. He’d been selfish, all these nights of interrupted sleep had taken a toll on her. He’d been little better than an animal. But she’d wanted it too. She’d pushed him. She’d welcomed him. Even so, she clearly needed a break.
‘Lie back down and sleep in,’ he told her.
‘And miss the chance to explore New York?’ she pretty much shrieked. ‘Never.’
‘Please.’ He wanted that pallor to return to a more normal shade. ‘Just have a couple more hours’ rest then meet me for lunch. I’ll send a car.’
‘I can find my own way.’
That determined independence annoyed him. It was so unnecessary. But he knew there was no point arguing.
In the end she stood him up for lunch. She sent a text saying she’d meet him back at the apartment before dinner. Apparently she’d got distracted at the shops.
Disappointed, he worked through, but he was glad she must be feeling better. They’d go out tonight, just the two of them. He contacted a friend to find out the city’s best vegetarian restaurant and then phoned to secure a table, bribing his way in.
When he finally got home she was ready.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked before he’d even said hello.
For a moment he didn’t answer; he was too busy staring. Now he understood why she’d got distracted. She was in a designer dress, but it wasn’t black. It was a beautiful bottle-green and cut to perfectly emphasise her slim waist. The low-scooped neckline showed her delectable freckles. The first time she’d ever worn anything that revealed them. The first time she was in colour. She looked stunning.
He saw the wary hesitancy in her eyes and the way she was holding herself very erect, and knew he was going to need to tread carefully. If he said the wrong thing she’d flare up at him. And for once he didn’t want to do that. Maybe there wasn’t a right thing to say. Only a right thing to do. He walked to her and cupped her face in his hands.
‘Look at me,’ he commanded softly when she avoided his eyes.
Slowly, reluctantly, she met his gaze.
‘I can’t kiss you or we’ll never get out of here tonight,’ he muttered hoarsely. ‘You’ve gone to too much trouble to stay home.’ For once it hadn’t been for anyone else. It had been for him. It touched him more than he could bear. ‘You are beautiful.’
She pushed back from him, not meeting his eyes as she blushed. ‘You’ll sleep with anything.’
‘You really know how to insult a man.’ He grabbed her hand so she couldn’t walk far. ‘But you insult yourself the most.’
He had no way to prove how attractive he found her. No way other than sleep
ing with her—again and again and again.
‘I’m not a beast who roots whenever, however, with whatever I can,’ he said bluntly. ‘I can sleep with none but the world’s most beautiful women. A list of models a mile long. Yet I choose to screw you. And only you. Over and over. Why do you think that is?’
‘You’re going through a phase.’
He laughed and released her hand, giving up on convincing her. ‘You wish to burn yourself with insecurity about your appearance, that’s your choice.’
Her head whipped as she turned to stare at him, her jaw slack. Suddenly she laughed.
‘What?’ He queried the change in her demeanour. All of a sudden she was glowing.
‘You’re right.’ She giggled again and actually wiped a tear from her eye. ‘You’re absolutely right. I’ve been stupid.’
He cupped her face again. ‘Not stupid.’ He knew she’d not got the security she needed from her father or her ex-fiancé. ‘Sweet.’
She tilted her chin, her eyes glinted, her lips still curved. ‘Not that sweet…’ she murmured wickedly.
‘No,’ he muttered hoarsely. ‘We need to leave. We’re going to the most lauded vegetarian restaurant in the city. You’ve no idea the hoops I had to jump through to get us a table at such late notice.’
Delight shimmered and she leaned even closer. ‘You’re going vegetarian for me?’
‘Just for tonight,’ he drawled. ‘So for once you get to choose anything from the menu—you’re not limited to one or two same-old, same-old dishes. So let’s go.’
But she didn’t move; she just smiled up at him and his chest was too tight again and he couldn’t seem to move. His heart couldn’t pound hard enough. She was sparkling now—her eyes glittering like jewels.
‘Kitty—’ He pulled the diamond choker from his pocket.
Her soft lips parted as she gazed at them, then back up at him. ‘You have it with you?’
‘All the time.’ He didn’t know why. He felt close to her when he had it in his breast pocket. It was stupid, but there it was. ‘Please wear it.’
It would look stunning on her.
She shook her head, her smile resolute. ‘I can’t. It’s not mine to wear.’
‘You wish it was?’ He’d buy them for her if he could.
‘It’s just not meant to be that way.’ She turned away from him.
She deserved more than that. She ought to have her heart’s desire. She had such a generous heart.
‘You took such a risk for them.’ He smiled as he remembered her stealing in to the library that night, all sleek determination and fire.
‘Isn’t there someone for whom you’d do anything?’ she asked lightly. ‘No matter the cost or the risk?’
He maintained his smile, but an emptiness gaped in his stomach. She loved in a way he couldn’t. The cost of loving like that was too great.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘KITTY?’
It couldn’t possibly be morning. It just couldn’t. Kitty groaned as she opened her eyes.
Alejandro was already up, dressed in jeans and looking gorgeous as he held a mug towards her. How had she slept through his getting up? She always woke when he did—and not just in the morning, but in the middle of the night when he had those dreams that made his whole body flinch and her heart ache because she didn’t know how to help him. The dreams that seemed to be occurring more and more frequently and were more and more frightening for him.
‘Coffee?’
‘Oh, no, thanks.’ She tried to turn her grimace into a smile and rolled over so he couldn’t see how bad her attempt was. But the smell was making her gag. She screwed her eyes tight shut and wished she was back in that warm, deep sleep. Yesterday, as the day had worn on she’d felt better, but once again she’d woken feeling so very tired. And queasy as—
Her eyes flashed open and she stared at the white wall of his cosy private bedroom. Queasy?
Her mouth filled with bitter spit and she forced herself to swallow it back without moving. Her feminine intuition had kicked in way too late. When was her cycle due? She frowned. She was usually pretty regular and she should have had her period at the end of that first week that Alejandro had been in New York. But she hadn’t had it and she’d been so distracted she’d not stopped to think about it at all. Until now.
‘I thought I’d take the day off,’ Alejandro said huskily as he sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Thought I’d come with you on your sightseeing trip today.’
Her heart would have leapt if it wasn’t too busy beating at a billion thuds per second.
‘Oh.’ No.
Not today. Not this. Oh, please, not this.
She shrank into the mattress as her mind scurried. She needed time to figure herself out. Time to reassure herself that she was panicking over nothing and only having an irregular few weeks or something. Her pulse hammered in her ears as she tried to think of an excuse to put him off. ‘I’m still feeling tired—I think I need to sleep some more. Maybe later today?’
But he’d offered to take time from work and spend it with her—and she had to turn him down…? She bit her lip, holding the heartbreak and fear inside.
‘Are you okay?’ He leaned over her and looked at her intently. ‘Do you need to see a doctor?’
‘No,’ she lied and avoided his eyes. ‘I’m just tired.’ She forced a coy smile. ‘I guess I’m not used to the all-night bedroom antics the way you are.’
She felt him withdraw at that flippant comment, but she hardened her heart. She had to have a couple of hours to herself this morning because she was too anxious to maintain a facade of carelessness until later.
‘Text me later then.’ Alejandro stood. ‘I’ll see where I’m at.’
‘Okay.’ She forced herself to snuggle back down in the bed.
He paused on his way out of the room, then turned and walked back to where she was, now almost totally hidden in a tight huddle under the sheets. ‘Rest well.’
He pressed his lips to hers. At first she was too scared to be able to relax into the kiss but then that warmth flooded her, overwhelming her as it always did. As he always did.
But the moment she heard the door close she sprang out of bed, ignoring the return of the bitter taste in her mouth.
She quickly dressed and then took the elevator down to the ground floor. She smiled confidently at the doorman as he held the door for her to leave the building. She wasn’t going to make the mistake of asking him for help finding a pharmacy—that information would be bound to filter back to Alejandro at some point.
She strode along the busy pavement, trying to look as if she knew where she was going. Down two blocks she finally stopped and asked a café worker for assistance.
Five minutes later she handed over the cash for the home pregnancy test. Her fingers were freezing and she almost dropped the change. The chances were so very low, right?
But their first time in that secret room… Surely there’d be only the slightest risk from that? He’d pulled out before he’d orgasmed. How unlucky could they be if a baby had been conceived in that so-brief moment?
Back in his apartment the result flashed almost immediately.
Pregnant.
Kitty stared fixedly at the result, her brain working overtime. She repeated the test. And got the same result.
All kinds of emotions swooped in so quickly she felt faint. She sat down on the floor of the gleaming bathroom. This could not be happening.
But it was. Slowly, a feeling of utter certainty and conviction stole over her, giving her an unexpected sense of calm.
She ran her hand over her still-flat belly. There was a tiny life in there. Alejandro’s child. Her heart almost burst beneath a wave of unconditional, absolute love. Her muscles flexed in a surge of protectiveness. And sudd
enly she didn’t feel unlucky at all.
But then she thought of Alejandro and how he would react to this. Her ballooning heart ruptured and she gasped as she realised the hurt they both faced.
This was the very last thing he wanted and it was the very last thing she wanted to do to him.
He didn’t want this. He didn’t really want her—not for good. Her eyes filled as she realised the happiness she’d felt in the last few days had just been a facade.
She quickly stood. She had no time for tears. She had to leave. She had to think about how she was going to handle everything before telling him. She had to have a sure plan in place before she could even face him.
Galvanised into action, she methodically packed her clothing and left the building again with another confident wave at the doorman. She rounded the corner of the block before hailing a cab and heading to the airport. She used the last of the available credit on her card to buy a ticket for the next flight back to London.
She switched her phone off and left it off—from the time she left his apartment, through all the hours during the flight and the time she travelled across London. When she switched it on to phone Teddy, it rang immediately.
Alejandro.
Her heart spasmed. But she didn’t answer it yet. She couldn’t. Not until she’d figured out a plan that would work. He didn’t want marriage, he didn’t want children and she knew he wasn’t going to change that stance—not for her. But she had that tiny fear that he would try to ‘do the right thing’—that he would be as chivalrous and generous as she knew him to be.
So she had to show him that she could handle all of this on her own. That it would make no difference to his life. That he could remain free.
The fact was, he would have lost interest in her soon enough anyway. She’d been that temporary aberration, a different kind of fling for him. But her heart sputtered in a last little fight at that thought—she’d started to believe it might be something a little more special than that.
But that wishful thought could never be tested now because she would never use this pregnancy to lay any kind of claim on him. She had to shut him out for now, until she’d proven her total independence.
