“Thank you, Yeva,” I say as I sit up and lean my back against the soft headboard. Bringing my hands to my temples, I massage them with the tip of my fingers and wince. The migraines that I’ve been experiencing lately are horrible. The pain is intolerable.
“I need to call Sir. He told me to call him when you wake up.” Says Yeva as she fishes her phone out of her pocket. She begins to dial the number and brings the phone to her ear.
“Hmm… he didn’t answer. Let me try again.”
This time when he doesn’t answer, she frowns and slides the phone back into her pocket.
“Yeva. My head is killing me, are there any medications I need to take to ease the pain please?”
“Of course. Here,” she reaches for the glass of water sitting on the night table and opens a prescription bottle that has my name on it.
“Take one and drink some water with it.” She explains as she hands me the water glass and drops a white pill in the palm of my hand.
I take the pill and chug the water immediately. Anything to get over this pain. Even if I don’t deserve to feel better.
Shaking the memory of my crime away, I train my eyes back on Yeva’s.
“Can you please help me shower? I feel nasty.”
She chuckles. “Of course, love. Anything for you.”
* * *
Yeva brushes my hair softly in front of the mirror. I stare at myself hazily, the bruises are slowly healing. But I barely recognize myself. It’s hard not to notice the sadness flashing in my eyes and the dark circles underneath them.
“There you go. Now you're clean, and you also smell heavenly.” Says Yeva with a smile on her face.
I run my fingers through my hair as my eyes travel up and down my length. I’m wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt that smells fresh and clean. I haven’t felt clean for so long.
You don’t deserve it. A voice whispers in my head.
“Thank you, Yeva. I want to go downstairs. I’m tired of being in this room.”
“Of course. Come on, let’s go downstairs and get you something to eat. You must be starving.”
I’m hungry, but I don’t deserve food. I don’t say anything to Yeva as she guides me down the stairs. Shooting pain radiates up my legs but I manage to ignore it, reminding myself that I deserve it. I deserve to feel dejected. I deserve the torment.
As soon as we land on the first floor, the main entrance door swings open. Mikhail and Aleksandr walk in, holding Maksim as he limps heavily.
“Oh my god. What happened?” says Yeva, running toward them.
“He’s drunk. We need to get him to bed.” Answers Mikhail.
Maksim’s gaze snaps to mine, and his eyes widen.
“Baby, you’re awake! Leave me the fuck alone.” He snarls and pushes both men away from him. They let him go, and he begins to walk toward me.
My heart starts thumping loudly in my ears, and I hug myself. The atmosphere goes from cold to hot in a matter of seconds. My legs start shaking. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t want to see him.
Dropping my gaze, I gasp when he grips my forearms.
“Look at me,” he orders.
I remain silent with my head bowed down.
“For fucks sakes, why are you doing this to me?” he bites out and shakes me savagely before Aleksandr pulls him away from me.
“Enough. You’re going to bed.”
Both Mikhail and Aleksandr carry him to one of the guest rooms on the first floor. He struggles to escape from their grasp. He thrashes and curses. He howls like a beast in horrible pain.
Yeva runs toward me and hugs me tightly.
“I’m sorry, Elena. Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head. Unable to speak. Unable to think.
“Let’s go to the kitchen. Shall we?”
I nod my approval and follow her silently. When we get inside the kitchen, I take a seat at the table and watch as she drops a tea bag inside a mug and pours hot water in it. She then makes me a toast with butter and brings both the mug and the plate to the table.
“Here you go, my friend. The tea will help your headache as well.”
I nod my head and take a sip. She takes a seat across from me and just stares at me. I look at her through my eyelashes. She has something to say, but she doesn’t know where to start. I know Yeva very well.
“What is it?”
She licks her lips. “How are you? I know you probably don’t want to talk about what happened to you while you were there, but… How do you feel?”
“I’m okay. I’m here and alive.”
On the outside, at least. On the inside? I’m dead and gone.
“That’s good. I know you need time. Sir is just worried, and he missed you like crazy. He was losing it when you were taken away from him. We almost didn’t recognize him.”
Her words are supposed to melt my heart. Make me the happiest woman on earth because my lover did everything in his power to save me. But I feel nothing. I don’t care about anything anymore. Because there’s no happy ending to our story. Soon I will leave, and I will never come back again.
“I know,” I say softly as I take another sip from my mug.
She must have noticed that I don’t want to talk about it because she instantly changes the subject and starts talking about her parents. I listen to her and smile warmly when she tells me that they’re coming next week to visit her.
Then I see it, how did I miss it?
My eyes widen, and my lips part.
“Yeva? Is that a…?” I say, pointing at her finger.
Her cheeks blush. She grins widely and shows me the ring.
“It’s beautiful when did it happen?”
“The day they found you. Mikhail came back home and proposed to me.”
I rise from my seat and walk over to her. I hug her tightly and congratulate her again.
“Mikhail is a lucky man. You guys deserve the best.”
Her eyes get watery, and she squeezes my hand tightly.
“Thank you. I’m so happy, Elena. I can’t believe I’m getting married.”
I smile warmly as my heart feels light. I’m so happy for her that joy blossoms within me.
“We will celebrate this. I promise you I’ll throw you the best bachelorette party.”
It will be my last mission before leaving for good. I owe her that at least. Yeva has been nothing but good to me since day one.
Elena
I wash my face with frigid water, hoping it will erase the nightmare I had last night from my memory. Last night was the first time I dreamed of Lydia ever since I was rescued.
Grabbing the towel off the rack, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing as I wipe my face. When I lift my head up, I find him standing still by the door. Tall, handsome, and powerful. He’s everything that any woman desires and everything that I don’t want anymore. I’m not the old Elena and he’s gonna have to get used to it.
Swallowing thickly, I avert my gaze from his intimidating one and hang the towel back on the rack.
“What happened to the rest of the women that were there?” I ask in a quivering voice.
“I took care of them all. Some of them have already been reunited with their families, and the rest are in the process of healing.”
I nod my head and walk past him into the room. He follows me.
“Did you take your medication today?” he asks firmly.
“I did.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday. I was drunk, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I stop in my tracks. With my back facing him, I say, “It’s fine.”
I sit by the window and open the book on the last page I read. Silence prevails as he watches me intently from across the room. I ignore his presence and don’t raise my head to look at him.
“We need to talk.” He breaks the silence.
Gently, I close the book and place it by my side.
“I’m listening.”
He walks over to the bed and take
s a seat. He sighs deeply before his gaze meets mine.
“What happened in there, Elena?” he asks softly.
I don’t answer. I stare at him back, unmoving.
“Fine. What did I do?”
“Nothing.” I blurt out.
“You’re different. You’re cold.”
I’m dead on the inside. Is it that hard for him to see it?
I don’t answer him.
“Why? Tell me what can I do to have you back?” he rises from the bed and walks toward me. He gets on his knees in front of me.
“Please, baby. I’ll do anything you want me to do. I desperately need you back.”
I can’t tell him. What I did is unforgivable.
“Nothing. It’s too late for anything to be done.”
His eyebrows furrow.
“Why do you say that? What happened in there, Elena? Please tell me.”
My hands tremble as shame consumes me from within. I want to disappear. I want to curl up in shame, knowing that despite wanting to die so desperately, I don’t deserve it. That would be a light sentence given to a callous murderer like me. I deserve to live for the rest of my life, always remembering what I did. Always suffering from the consequences of my own actions.
His hand covers mine. Once upon a time, his touch made me breathless as desire percolated between us. His warmth made my body throb and ache in need for him to be inside of me. Now, I feel nothing but pain gripping my chest. Because he shouldn’t have saved me. And I don’t deserve his caring. I don’t deserve whatever love he has for me.
Standing up, I walk over to the door, ignoring the sound of his shoes against the wooden floor as he walks faster behind me.
He grips my forearm and turns me toward him savagely. He grips my chin, so I don’t have a choice but to look at his blazing, gray eyes. Flames of anger shoot through his eyes as rage sweeps over him.
“Fucking speak.” He bites out angrily.
When I don’t say anything, he pushes me against the wall behind me and hugs my waist with his hands. He leans forward and claims my mouth. He devours me, forcing my lips to open so his tongue can slide in between them. I don’t fight him because I have trained and forced my body to not feel anything for him anymore.
You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve a happy ending.
He takes my lower lip between his teeth and nips it hard. There’s nothing innocent about the way he’s claiming my mouth. The old me would have melted in his embrace, the kiss would have made me feel like I’m floating on air. The new me wants this to end.
He pulls away and stares at me, his face is unapologetic.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” his eyes sparkle with fury.
Sadness, anger, guilt, and shame all jumbled up inside of me. I know one thing for sure, the sooner I get out of this house, the better this will be for both him and me.
“I want to be alone,” I say.
He frowns, “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means you can kiss me or fuck me; however, you want. It’s not going to make me feel anything.”
He subconsciously takes a step back. Shaking his head slightly, he storms out of the room and shuts the door behind him angrily.
I remain standing still. My knees wobble, and my heart picks up its speed. Tears threaten to come out but I hold them back stubbornly. I’m doing the right thing. He needs to understand that there is no us anymore.
* * *
Hours pass by quickly until a knock comes at the door. I close my book and frown as I glance over at the clock sitting on the night table.
8:00pm. I’ve spent the whole day in my room getting lost in the book I’m reading.
“Enter,” I say softly.
A middle-aged man walks in with a suitcase in his hand. Reading glasses hang around his neck.
“Good evening, Ms. Romano. I’m Doctor Miller. How are you doing today?” he says as he walks into the room with Yeva and Maksim following behind him.
Yeva flashes me a smile, and I smile back. Maksim’s gaze is cold and stern. I ignore him and smile at the doctor.
“Hi Doctor, you can call me Elena.”
“How are you feeling today? Any side effects of the medication?”
I swallow thickly.
“Migraines and nightmares mainly. But no hallucinations anymore.”
“That’s great! The migraines will eventually go away. Tell me about your nightmares.” He says, taking a seat at the edge of the bed.
Maksim and Yeva stand by the door, both staring at me.
I clear my throat. “They’re mainly about the place I was at.”
I can’t tell him that my nightmares are all about the woman I killed. I’m too much of a coward to even say that I’m a fucking murderer.
“Okay. And do they happen often?”
“Every single night.”
“Okay. So what I suggest we do is let’s continue with the medication for another week. And I will check back on you, and if the nightmares are still happening, I will prescribe you another one to take care of them. I just don’t want you to be under a lot of medication at the same time cause the side effects could become worse.”
“Can’t you just give it to her now. She’s telling you she’s having nightmares.” Maksim says in an irritated tone of voice.
“It’s okay, Doctor,” I blurt out. “I don’t want to be taking a lot of medication either. Let’s give it another week.” I smile politely.
Ignoring Maksim’s shooting gaze, I say goodbye to the doctor and lead him to the door. Yeva follows him, leaving Maksim and me alone in the room.
He remains silent as he removes the watch from his wrist and begins to take off his clothes. I open my book again and bury my head in it. He goes into the bathroom and comes out of it ten minutes later, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
Shamelessly, he drops the towel to the floor and puts on his boxers. I swallow hard, remembering that this is his room that I’ve been staying in.
“Maksim, I don’t mind going to my old room.” I break the silence.
He ignores me and gets in bed next to me.
“Fine,” I say, rising from the bed and putting my nightgown on.
“Where are you going?” he asks hoarsely.
“To my old room.”
He shoots up from the bed immediately and hurries toward me. Gripping my chin, he leans forward until his face is inches away from mine. His breath is warm and minty, reminding me of our old times.
“You’re not going anywhere.” He says very softly.
“Is it an order?”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
I know what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to get a reaction out of me. Just like old times. When I used to disobey his orders and fight him. But I don’t have the energy for that anymore.
His gaze drops to my lips.
“Then I’ll stay,” I say softly.
His grasp on my chin loosens, just enough for me to pull my head away and walk back toward the bed. I climb onto it and lie down. Closing my eyes, I feel him slide into the bed next to me. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do I.
As I fall into a deep slumber, I sense someone tower over me and stroke my hair. It happens quick and fast, right at the verge of my awareness.
Maksim
I walk out of the room slowly, making sure not to wake her up. I had to get away from her. I don’t trust the hungry beast inside of me when I’m around her. Taking the stairs down to my office, I remember her beautiful face as I stood over her and stroked her hair. I’ll never get over the sight of her beautiful golden hair spread all over the pillow as she sleeps so peacefully in my bed.
My fucking bed. The same one I fucked her on countless times.
Entering my office, I fix myself a drink and sit in my chair. I take a sip and lean my head against the headrest. The alcohol travels down my throat into my stomach, it helps ease a little bit of the tension in my body.
That night
at the strip club, I passed out while the woman was grinding herself on me. She informed her manager, who ended up contacting Aleksandr, who came and got me. I was exhausted and weak. I thought another woman would do the job. But my dick doesn’t know how to stand up unless it’s for Elena.
I missed her so much, and all she keeps doing is reject me over and over again. She won’t talk to me. She won’t fucking tell me what the fuckers did to her and what made her loathe me. A pang of anger mixed with grief hits me, remembering the way she looks at me with dead, empty eyes every time our eyes meet. I would do anything in my power to have her look at me one more time the way she used to. With lust blinding her and desire percolating from her body, making mine heat with the need to claim her.
What went wrong? What happened to her that made her give up so easily on everything, including us?
Taking another sip, I hear footsteps in the hallway.
Frowning, I rise from my seat and peek through the door, only to find nothing but darkness. But I still hear the footsteps.
Closing my office door behind me, I walk down the hallway, turning my gaze left and right every time I walk past a room. There’s nobody, and all the lights are turned off. Then I get to the library and find the door wide open. The light is on indicating someone’s inside.
I remain silent as I walk into the room. A weak smile forms on my lips when I find her looking through the pile of books sitting on the floor.
“Hey,” I say softly. She flinches and for an instance, I see that common fire in her eyes that drew me to her in the first place. But as soon as our eyes meet, the fire dissipates and gets replaced by the coldness.
“Hi.”
“Another nightmare?” I ask, taking a step toward her.
She nods her approval and averts her gaze back to the pile of books.
I keep walking toward her until I’m inches away from her. Her body tenses when she turns around and finds me invading her personal space. But I don’t care. I want her to see me. I need her back. Can’t she see how much I fucking want her? Can’t she feel me as I break into pieces and fall dead to her feet? She’s destroying me both physically and mentally.
His To Keep: Beasts In The Dark (Book 2) Page 9
