Wistful Thinking

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Wistful Thinking Page 5

by Suzanne Readsmith

resting his head on the back of her shoulder. She remained stiff and unresponsive. This would have to do for now. He knew enough not to push his luck and he pulled away from her. There would be no new address, no new car, no giving up her rights, her home or her husband! Their world would continue somehow and things would be different from now on. Forgiveness wouldn’t come so soon, she knew that, nor would she find it easy to forget what he had done. Accept it? Perhaps never! She now lived on ‘Planet Unsure’, which was a new unsafe place to live in. He had taken off his wellies and now his sodden pants which he placed over the back of a chair to dry in front of the Aga. As usual he was ever comfortable around her. In his stupid black briefs he looked like a old wrestler and lost. She couldn’t bring herself to touch him yet she wanted to so much.

  On Christmas morning Kate unravelled herself from Jake’s arms. He’d clung to her for days now. Once again she peeked out from behind her curtains to check that the snow’s whiteness, although almost melted away, was still there. By tonight, her whole family would be sleeping under this roof. Jake was leaning under the bed to pull out a small golden wrapped present for her. She didn’t want it somehow because she still felt cheap. He gestured her to come back to bed. “Look what I’ve got for you” he whispered, squeezing the wrapped cube a little too desperately into her hands. He’d bought her a two carat diamond ring in an ostentatious way. In was nice and white like a sparkly message that she would always be his number one. She made all the right responses slipping into the usual stance of never disappointing Jake, always giving him what he wanted. He felt happy enough to kiss her on the nose and to leave the bedroom humming a Christmas tune. He didn’t expect sex. Her acceptance of the ring served only to further reassure him they she would always be there for him. So therefore she would wear it. He was behaving as though a crisis had been averted and that all was back on-track in his life. It wasn’t of course and they both knew that deep down.

  Later that afternoon, all turkey full and tipsy, Kate caught the eye of her eldest son who had been watching her carefully all day. Did he know something? He raised his glass to her silently. He was a bachelor, a loner and a deep thinker. He seemed to have guessed that something big had occurred. She raised her glass back to him in a salute. They were like each other, stoic. She smiled her love towards him and his grin stretched into a bashful look of happiness. She lived and breathed for her family and he was a special joy to her. They had nearly lost him at birth, all touch and go with his long limbs stretched out in the incubator, a shock of black hair on his head and closed eyes waiting to see the world a little later thank you.

  The fire in Kate and Jake’s sitting room was banked high, burning low and her father-in-law was asleep. Her mother was in the kitchen baking mince pies. The others were engaged in a loud game of charades and the little ones were playing behind the settee ignoring the TV, which was on mute. Jake was mixing drinks and he seemed happy enough. She looked at the new ring on her finger and marvelled at the fact that Jake’s father had actually said when he’d seen it. “What’s he done then?” She had played the game and laughed along with the joke.

  As Christmas day settled into Christmas night another woman looked out into the strange white darkness. She too loved the snow, which was diminishing. She wasn’t alone but she felt alone. Jake had told her it was over. He’d been as adamant about this as he had about the fact that he would never leave Kate. He’d had the nerve to suggest that she should stay with her husband and be happy and that what they’d been through together was craziness. She could cope with this because she knew that Jake loved her. In fact they loved each other, madly so and now proof of their love, perhaps was growing inside her.

  Her husband called her away from the window to come and eat the dinner he had lovingly prepared. In Beatrice’s eyes Jake was just having a blip. He needed her just as she needed him. Her husband lit up the candles creating a warm amber light. She thought to herself that the news she had for them both could wait until the New Year was in. He scooped his son into one of his arms and with the other he raised a toast to his wife and their love. He felt as though his life was so complete. He felt blessed.

  “To our future”.

  End

  Did you enjoy reading this story? You can read more …

  ‘Letting Him Stay’

  The angst of a woman who learns about the precarious state of her marriage.

  ‘The Girl with No Name’

  Is it all fair in love and war?

  ‘Caught on the Hop’

  What can a woman do but fight back when the concept of her marriage is blown wide apart?

  Writers like to know what their reader is thinking! By now you will know that I am very interested and intrigued about the twists and turns of life. Contact me at Twitter or directly review my work at the site you have chosen to download from. Alternatively via my email address at: [email protected]

 


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