“Ah, but it’s not just me, now is it? Connor told me today how much you helped get his clinic off the ground.”
Tess blinked, but then covered her surprise with a laugh. “Have you missed the part where I’m a doctor? We take care of people. It’s literally what we do. And that clinic provides care patients might not get otherwise.”
“Hmm.” A tiny smile played at Declan’s mouth. “So, when he had his head so far up his arse over Harlow a few months ago that he couldn’t see reason, and you set him to rights, that was…?”
“Necessary,” Tess semi-argued. “His moping was epic. I was just doing everyone a public service.”
“You weren’t,” Declan argued right back. “You were helpin’ him because you’re a good friend.”
Tess hedged. “Well, he and Harlow are obviously perfect for each other. He just needed a nudge.”
Declan slid so close, she could feel the heat of him pulling her in. “And what of me? I know you think we’ve covered it,” he said, his dark, lifted brow telling her she hadn’t gotten away with such an easy explanation. “I needed the trial, you were in a position ta help. But you married me, Tess. It’s a bit above and beyond.”
“Well, that’s what friends do,” she whispered, her breath catching as he lifted a hand to trace two fingers over her cheek.
“Accepting help in return is what friends do, too. It doesn’t make you less than, love. It makes you a good friend.”
His touch felt so good, so warm and real and right, that Tess leaned in to it without a second thought. “I think you and I are more than friends.”
“That may be true,” he agreed. “But we’re still friends. You’ve had my back this whole time, before you even knew me, really. Let me have yours. Let me help you, just a little bit.”
21
If Declan were thinking rationally, he’d realize exactly what he’d just put on the line. He’d remember—probably in excruciating detail—how quickly the family he’d loved had been torn apart, then how quickly he’d lost his mother just four years later. He’d hear the warning in the fact that he’d had to leave the Air Force just as quickly, and he’d heed the pain that loss had inflicted, the loss that still ravaged him every day. Above all, if Declan had a shred of sense, he’d remember that every time he’d lowered his defenses and found somewhere to truly belong, he’d been horribly, irrevocably ripped away from that place.
But he wasn’t thinking rationally. He was thinking with that organ in the center of his chest even though his brain knew far better.
Right now, his heart wanted Tess, and no force on heaven or earth was going to stop him from having her.
“Yes,” she whispered, the word collapsing between them as he erased the space between their mouths. Although it required some serious fucking effort, Declan took his time, sweeping his tongue over the seam of her lips in a slow stroke, then another before pressing hard enough to gain entry. Rather than answering with equal intensity like she always did, Tess parted her lips and surrendered to the movement, and the want pulsing through him tripled.
Declan had asked her to let him have her back, to care for her, and that was exactly what she was doing.
He would not waste this.
Slowing his movements without easing his intention, he took Tess’s mouth in deliberate strokes. Her tongue, her teeth that nipped gently in reply—Christ, he could spend a month on the sexy bow of her lower lip—he explored every part of her over and over until he’d learned each one by heart. Sweeping his tongue against hers to taste her thoroughly, Declan deepened their kiss until they became a hot tangle of bodies and breath and undiluted want.
“Let me take you ta bed,” he said, desire covering the words with gravel. It was as close as he’d ever get to a command—telling a woman as iron-willed as Tess what to do seemed altogether wrong, not to mention probably fruitless. But caring for her, pleasuring her in every way he could possibly think of and all the ways she might want? Now that was something he could give her. And she was trusting him to do it.
Tess’s consent came by way of a nod. She punctuated her willingness by opening her arms, letting Declan lift her from the couch and head directly for her bedroom. Lowering her to her feet beside her bed, he took a step back to look at her in the ambient city light filtering in past the curtains. He’d never had a way with words—Saoirse had been the one to inherit that trait from their mother, always knowing what to say, even when her words burned—so he had to settle for saying what was in his head, delivery be damned.
“You’re fucking gorgeous.”
Tess didn’t seem offended by his directness. In fact, her bourbon-colored stare glinted as if the words had turned her on. “You make me feel gorgeous when you look at me that way.”
“And you make me want you even more when you let me,” Declan said.
As if trying to prove it, his cock grew even harder, coming to full attention behind the fly of his jeans as he stood where he was and raked another stare from her tousled hair to her bare feet. Yes, he wanted her. For the love of everything sacred and holy, he wanted to do all manner of filthy, unspeakable things to her until neither one of them could stand or speak.
But he wanted her to feel beautiful even more, and so he forced himself to stillness and looked. He took in Tess’s face, with that mouth that could form a razor-sharp argument just as easily as the softest of sighs. His gaze lowered down her neck, into the V where her skin disappeared behind her white button-down shirt. Declan lingered on the swell of her breasts—he might be exercising restraint but he was still human, and her tits were fucking perfection. His eyes moved lower over her belly, then the length of her legs, mostly hidden by shadows along with her slim, dark gray pants, and finally, he couldn’t stand it.
He stepped toward her, dropping his lips to her neck as his fingers worked the buttons of her blouse, one by one. “So beautiful,” he murmured, dragging his tongue over the pulse point at the base of her throat just to feel it jump against his mouth. Slipping her shirt from her shoulders and tossing it to the floor, he paused just long enough to tug his own shirt over his head before turning back to her.
“Declan,” Tess said, part prayer, part plea.
He honored both. Her bra joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor with a few well-placed movements, arousal bolting through him at the sight of her tight, upturned nipples. Her breath quickened, and just like that, his composure disappeared. Declan leaned in, pulling one nipple past his lips, a smile parting over the hard peak as she gasped.
He made her gasp again. Swirling his tongue over her, he used her sighs as a guide, cupping her firmly to hold her steady as he sucked and stroked. Feather-light flicks alternated with stronger, more purposeful contact, and he worked her until her voice broke over a needful cry.
“You need more.” Declan hooked the last word upward to turn it into a question. He wasn’t going to do a single thing Tess didn’t ask him for, and if what she wanted was to come with his mouth on her tits, then he’d bring her there as many times as she liked.
But then she damn near broke him when she looked at him through the shadows and said, “I need you, Declan. I want you.”
He wasn’t graceful about getting the rest of their clothes off. Tess didn’t seem to care; in fact, the sound that came out of her as he roughly yanked her panties away from her hips, then his own jeans and boxer briefs off of his own, was enough to make his already-hard cock ache. Cupping her shoulders, he walked her backward to the bed they’d left unmade this morning. The backs of her thighs bumped the mattress, and she didn’t protest as he angled her over the sheets, then parted her knees with his palms to situate himself between them.
Tess lifted her hips in a clear invitation to be touched. Fuck, this was going to be an exercise in restraint. As badly as he wanted to feel the wet, hot grip of her pussy on his dick right now—and he really, really did—he wanted to pleasure her more.
“You want me to touch you, love?” Declan glided a
finger over the sweet seam between her thighs, and Christ, she was already so slick.
Her hair shushed over the bed sheets as she gave up a shaky nod. “Yes.”
“And you want me ta taste you?” Moving lower, he bracketed her waist with both hands. Tess’s muscles tightened in reply, and he took just a second to memorize how she looked before slipping even lower on the bed. Declan kissed a path over her rib cage, tracing the rim of her navel with the tip of his tongue.
“Yes,” Tess moaned. “Yes, yes.”
Desire snapped through him like a dark, carnal thing. “You want me to lick you? To fuck your pretty, pink pussy with my tongue until the only thing ya know is how perfect you are?”
Tess answered by letting her knees fall wide. The movement filled Declan’s senses with the heady scent of her, earthy and so goddamn sweet. The moan filling his chest was completely outside of his control. He laid Tess bare in one fluid motion, palming her inner thighs to press them wide and spreading her sex with a long, slow lick.
This was exactly where he belonged.
“Oh…oh, my Goddddd.” Tess’s lips parted on a soundless gasp, her back bowing up from the mattress and into his touch. Her unhidden pleasure dared him to repeat the movement a few times as she trembled under his tongue. Tabling the need to go as fast as he could until she screamed, Declan explored her pussy with slow kisses and firm strokes. Her hands wandered down to cradle the back of his head, holding him flush against her most sensitive spots as he pleasured her thoroughly. His cock was like iron, his need pulsing through him so hard that it hurt. But Declan was powerless against the emotions tearing out of him, making him reckless, making him want. Gripping hard, he pressed both palms into the curve of Tess’s ass at the same time he slid his thumbs inward to bare her fully, pressing the flat of his tongue over her clit just once before closing his lips around her.
The cry that tore out of her was guttural and raw and so goddamn sexy, Declan felt it from his bones to his balls.
“Declan, please. Don’t stop.” Tess thrust her hips faster. “Make me come.”
And just like that, going slow wasn’t an option—nothing was an option, other than fulfilling her need. Keeping his lips firmly clasped over her clit, he sucked in time with her movements, taking her closer to the edge. Her fingertips pressed harder around the back of his head, her thighs beginning to quake around the bulk of his shoulders, and she arched farther into his touch. Her spine bowed tightly in release, her sex pulsing a wicked beat under his tongue as she unraveled beneath him with a ragged gasp. Declan looked up at her, her eyes squeezed shut and her expression wide-open and gorgeous, flushed with the bliss of her release, and in that moment, none of his actions were his own. He pulled back roughly, just long enough to cover her lush curves with his body, and he sank his cock between her legs in one wild, unforgiving thrust.
“Declan. Yes, yes. Harder, yes,” Tess demanded, widening her hands over his ass and thrusting up to take his cock just as hard as he’d given it to her. He had no idea if she was still coming or coming again, but it didn’t matter. Between her sexy command and the uncut need rippling up from the base of his spine, he was lost. He anchored his hands on her hips, thrusting deep into her pussy again and again. Tess knotted her arms around his lower back, holding him all the way inside of her slick heat as she pumped her clit against the base of his cock.
“That’s it, a ghrá geal. Take all of it. Fuck me as dirty as y’like.”
But, of course, Tess gave as good as she got. Her inner muscles clenched, and the moan that came out of her dared Declan to thrust even faster. Dark, relentless pleasure uncurled at the base of his balls, spreading up through his belly, warning him to stop, or at the very least, to slow.
He did neither. Instead, he pistoned into Tess without apology, filling her pussy over and over. She came undone with his name on her lips, repeating it like a benediction, and the intimacy triggered his own climax from way down deep inside of him. Declan erased all possible space between them, filling her core to the hilt and pressing his body over hers from belly to chest to shoulders as he came harder than he ever had in his life.
Dimly, reality filtered back in stages—the shush of the air conditioning, the silvery glow of moonlight and streetlights shining into the room. Tess’s chest rose and fell in rapid breaths, her body still flush against his and her arms locked tight around his ribs. Declan knew he should move. Strong as she was, he still didn’t want to go crushing her with his body weight. Still, moving would mean letting her go, and somehow, instinctively, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He wanted her close, with his arms around her tight, because that was where he belonged.
And it felt too good to scare him.
Eventually, necessity dictated the need to move, although, neither of them went far. They untangled their bodies just enough for Declan to tuck Tess in at his side, wrapping his arms right back around her as he dropped his mouth to the crown of her head and finally loosened the words he’d kept buried for so long.
“I feel like I’m not good enough sometimes, too.”
“What?” Tess pulled back sharply to look at him, making him grateful for the shadows. But he’d wanted her to open up, to let her lean on him just a little. The least he could do was give her the same courtesy.
If he wanted her to really trust him, he had to trust her, too.
“I spent nearly seven years in the Air Force, and my whole life before that bein’ young and invincible. It’s not a bad way ta be when you are young, I s’pose. But I took a lot for granted.”
Tess’s body tightened, her voice softening in understanding as she said, “It must’ve been difficult for you to have to leave the Air Force so suddenly. I mean, I was never deployed for an extended period of time, but I was still close with some of my unit-mates. After seven years…”
“We were a family. And after my mother died, I really needed that,” Dec admitted, the memory of Jonesy and Leo and Elvis and how inseparable they’d all been knocking at his throat. He’d already lost so much when he’d left the Air Force, even before his mother had passed. His sister had been his best friend—Christ, how he’d looked up to her. Yet, when it had mattered most, she’d left without warning.
But some things remained buried because they were well and truly gone, so he shoved the thought of Saoirse where it belonged. Way down deep.
“I didn’t even get ta say goodbye when I left the Air Force,” Declan said into the shadows. “Not that I’d have known how, but it all happened so fast. One minute, everything was just as it always was, and the next, I was passin’ out on routine ops training and spendin’ all my time with the medics while the rest of my unit was out there, running missions without me.”
“You felt displaced,” Tess whispered in realization.
His huff of laughter held no happiness. “I felt betrayed. Not by them, of course,” he added quickly. “The Air Force did what they had ta do, and I’d never endanger my unit-mates by bein’ the weak link.”
The mettle that he’d come to love so much about Tess made an appearance he could feel, even in the dark. “You’re not weak just because you’re diabetic, Declan.”
“No, but I’m not strong, either, now am I?” he asked, more resigned than angry. “Not in the sense that I could serve them, anyway. For the last two years, I’ve wandered about, not fittin’ in anywhere. If I’m bein’ honest, I don’t know that I wanted to.”
Tess paused. “It’s risky to put yourself out there, where you could get hurt. I get that.”
Emotion welled up in his chest, so unexpected and strong that he couldn’t kill-switch it. “I swore I wouldn’t do it again. Thought I’d be okay on my own. But then I got sick enough to land here in Remington, and now…when I’m with you, when I’m takin’ care of Jackson? I feel like I’ve got a purpose. I see the family you’ve all made, Connor and Harlow, Charlie and Parker and Jonah and Nat, with you and Jackson, right there in the center of it all, and…it makes me
not want ta be alone.” Declan swallowed past the stone-like lump in his throat, but still, the truth pushed past. “I’m just so tired of bein’ alone.”
Tess’s arms circled around him, her grasp warm and firm and everything. “You’re not alone. And you’re so much more than good enough.”
Unfortunately, Declan’s defenses weren’t going down without a fight. “I’m twenty-seven years old. I eat well. I’m fit. I’m supposed to be in the prime of my fucking life. And still, here I am. Booted from a job I loved. Holdin’ out hope for a treatment that works so I don’t have to go on dialysis, and a kidney that might never come. My body’s failin’ me in every way.”
Tess pulled back to look at him, capturing his face between her slim fingers as she kissed him gently. “Your body might not be cooperating with the rest of you right now. That’s true. But here’s what I know, above all else. Your heart is still good.”
The words moved all the way through him, settling into the center of his chest in a way that should have terrified him, but instead, it made him feel strong.
He’d let Tess in, too, and God, but he belonged with her.
“You know what, you were right earlier,” Declan said, kissing her back just as softly. “You and I are more than friends.”
And then, he wrapped his arms around Tess, holding her just as tightly as she held him as he did something he hadn’t for the past two years.
He slept.
22
Tess was floating. Some far-off part of her brain reminded her that, probably, the incredible sex was to blame. But no, there was more, she realized, her thoughts connecting slowly, as if moving through water. Declan hadn’t just wanted to pleasure her, although, sweet Jesus in the manger, he’d done that in spades. No, when he’d looked at her with those bright green eyes and told her he’d wanted to have her back, then confessed how good he felt when he was with her and Jackson, it had moved something deep inside of her that she hadn’t known she could feel.
Beyond Just Us (Remington Medical Book 4): A Single Parent Marriage of Convenience Romance Page 19
