by Ciana Stone
Max looked at it for a moment. He’d been looking directly at her when she took the shot. Something she’d told him a long time ago came to mind. She’d once said that one of the things she loved about him was that his face was an open book, whatever he was feeling was always right there in his eyes. There was no deception in him.
That seemed to be all too true if this photo was any indication. Even he could see the haunted, yearning expression on his face and in his eyes.
“So what do you want to talk about?” Her voice prompted him to replace the tablet on the bed.
“Us.”
Olivia blew out her breath and crossed her arms over her chest, each hand rubbing the opposite upper arm in a gesture that signified she was either cold or nervous. It was warm in the room, so it must be the latter.
Max didn’t wait for a response. He took a seat on the end of the bed, still holding the box.
“I know it’s been a long time, and a lot has changed. But I’ve thought about that time every day since you left and every day I’ve wanted to talk to you, to tell you how I felt and ask you why.”
She looked away, paced to the window and stared out. “Max, I told you. I had an opportunity— “
Max was suddenly angry. He knew she was lying. She’d never been able to look him in the face and lie. That’s why she wouldn’t look at him. She knew he’d see the lie for what it was. “That’s a lie and we both know it.”
She turned to look at him. “What difference does it make now, Max? That was over ten years ago.”
“It makes a difference because it shaped everything that happened afterwards.”
He saw the closed expression that came on her face. Anger wasn't going to get him anywhere. He shoved the anger back, softening his voice. “I wrote you and emailed. Every day. You never answered.”
She didn't respond. She just looked down at the floor.
“Did you just walk away and forget?” he asked. “Did nothing of the time we shared mean anything to you? Not all the times we worked side by side, all those times we chased down leads from the police scanner or celebrated a good paying job with something besides pizza on Friday night? Not spring break or the festival in May or the prom or— “
“Max, don’t.” She looked up, and he saw the tears glistening in her eyes.
“Why, Livi?” He got up and walked to her, wrapping his hands around her upper arms and turning her toward him. “Why? Because I was totally off base and none of it meant anything? Was it that easy to forget me?”
She shook her head, blinking at the tears that were starting to fall.
Max wanted to fold her in his arms, to kiss away those tears. Despite everything, he still clung to the idea that she had once loved him, that his love for her had meant something then and that somewhere in her heart it still did.
“I never forgot you, Max,” she whispered. “Not working with you or having pizza night or spring break…”
Her eyes moved up to connect with his and he was carried back in time.
March 2007
Max jumped every time he heard a car on the road. It was the last two days of spring break. His parents had allowed him and two of his friends to use the lake house for the week, without parental supervision.
His friends, Jason and Derrick, were leaving that afternoon. They both had dates that night and a night of beer with the buddies couldn’t compete with girls.
Max wasn’t upset about it. He called and asked Olivia to come up for the weekend and she’d agreed to drive up Saturday afternoon. She made no promise to stay, but at least she was coming.
It was nearly two, and he’d been sitting outside waiting since noon. Had she changed her mind? Should he call her? No, he would wait. She’d never lied to him before. If she said she would be there, she would.
Only not soon enough for him. Max knew he had it bad for her. Even Jason and Derrick had clued in on that a month ago. They were forever giving him a hard time about it. He had never admitted to having feelings for Livi, but his friends had known him since grade school. They could read between the lines.
Max thought they were even a little envious. It wasn’t every day a guy in high school got a chance with an older woman. Especially one as hot as Livi.“Hey, when’s your babe getting here?” Derrick asked as he came through the back door with a beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other.
“She didn’t say. And she’s not my babe, she’s my boss.”
“Yeah, right, whatever. Me and Jas wanna ski. Can I have the keys to the boat?”
“No way. You’re drunk. My dad’ll kill me if anything happens to that boat.”
“Then you drive.”
“Uh, waiting here?” Max reminded him with a dramatic gesture.
“Not anymore,” Derrick replied. “I hear a car.”
Just then Livi’s car pulled up beside the house. A moment later, the engine cut off, and she climbed out of the car.
“Hot damn,” Derrick whispered.
“Knock it off,” Max warned and got up to go meet her.
She was dressed in cutoff jeans, and a white tank top with a bikini top beneath it.
“Hey!” She reached in the back seat for a tote bag. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. You want to come in?”
“And miss this sunshine? Not a chance.”
“Hey, you wanna ski?” Derrick called from the porch.
Livi looked up at Max. “Isn’t the water still a little cold?”
“Yeah.”
“No, thanks,” she called back to Derrick. “You go ahead.”
“They need me to drive the boat,” Max explained.
“Oh, well, I’ll ride along.”
“Cool. I’ll go get the keys. Want me to put your bag in the house?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Max took her bag and hurried to the house. When he returned outside, he could see Livi on the dock with Jason and Derrick. She was snapping photos of them as they clowned around.
“You ready?” He asked as he reached them.
“Born ready,” Jason boasted.
“And had a relapse,” Derrick added.
Livi just smiled. Max gestured toward the boat and she climbed in, followed by Jason and Derrick. Max started the boat, and they cruised out into the center of the cove.
He readied the tow lines, while Jason and Derrick put on life vests, threw the skis into the water and jumped in.
Livi moved to the seat beside the driver and swiveled with her camera to her eye. Max heard the shutter fire as he moved from the back of the boat to his place at the wheel.
The afternoon passed quickly and by six, his friends were ready to head back home. Max and Livi stood on the front porch and watched them leave.
“You hungry?” Max asked as the car pulled away. “We have some steaks. We could cook out.”
“That’d be good,” she agreed.
“Cool.”
They went inside, found some potatoes they could wrap in foil and bury in the coals to cook and a loaf of frozen French bread.
Max busied himself starting the charcoal while Livi stayed inside to wrap the potatoes and bread in foil and put the bread in the oven to warm.
He fell into a little fantasy as he worked. They were a couple, and this was their place. The idea appealed to him. He could see them as a couple. Livi walked out with a couple of beers. “How long till the charcoal’s ready?”
“Uh, not sure, half an hour?”
“Ummm,” she murmured and took a drink. “Thought I might take some shots of the cove. It’s really pretty with the light falling.”
They got caught up in the photos, moving from one place to another, spotting a shaft of light here, or a bird on a low hanging branch, talking and laughing, along with drinking a lot more than Max was accustomed to.
Darkness was upon them before they realized how late it was. And before they realized the charcoal had gone out. “That’s not good.” Max looked down at the grill.
&
nbsp; “No, biggie,” she replied. “I’ll put the potatoes in the oven. Start the coals again.”
Max worked on the coals while she went inside. She returned with more beer. She draped one arm over his shoulder and leaned against him. “I’m going to regret this in the morning,” she said as she tilted the beer up to her lips.
Max didn’t care how he felt in the morning. Right now, he had Livi all to himself, had a major buzz, and all was right with the world. He turned toward her, and she stumbled. Max caught her, his arms going around her to steady her. She laughed, looked up at him and the smile on her face vanished.
“You’re so dangerous,” she said softly.
“Me? Dangerous?”
“Lethal.”
“How?”
Livi chuckled and pushed away. “Like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t.”
“Okay, if you say so. So, what you want to do while we wait for the coals?”
What he wanted to do was not something he would admit. He wanted to kiss her, to put his hands on her. That’s all he’d wanted for months. But he was too chicken to try since that night at the country club. He wasn’t eighteen yet. If he tried, she’d just stop him again.
Unless, he realized, it was something she couldn’t stop. An idea came to him. “How about a game?”
She gave him a big smile. “I love games. Okay. What game?”
“Truth or dare.”
Her mouth fell open then closed. Her eyes went from one side to the other and then finally back to him. “Okay, but I’m going to need more beer.”
“I’ll get it.”
Max raced to the house. When he returned, she was on the dock, dipping one foot in the water.
“Here,” he handed her a beer and downed half of his to bolster his courage.
“Thanks. Okay, me first,” she said. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Truth. Okay…” She gnawed at her lower lip for a moment. “Okay, truth. Have you ever kissed a boy?”
“What? That’s disgusting. No. Why would you even ask?”
“Huh uh, that’s not part of the game unless it’s truth and that’s your question.”
“Fine. The answer is no.”
“Okay, so your turn.” She downed some of her beer.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” she replied immediately.
“Have you ever kissed a girl?”
“Yep.”
“You have?”
She made a game show buzzer sound. “Not part of the game, Maxwell.”
Max knew she must be toasted to have used his full name. She’d only used it once before and that was a night he’d shown up past ten, with the excuse that he’d forgotten to give her a film canister. She’d greeted him at the door with a drink in hand and speech that was a bit slurred. And she’d called him Maxwell.
“Okay, your turn. I’ll take truth.”
She studied him for a few moments. “Are you a virgin?”
The question stunned him. Why did she ask that? Was it because she was interested and wanted to know if he had experience?
“Earth to Maxwell,” she prompted.
“Oh, sorry. No.”
“Hmmm,” she took a drink from her beer. “So how many— “
It was his turn to sound the fake buzzer. “Not allowed. My turn. Truth or dare?”
“Okay, fine.” She pursed her lips for a moment. “Dare.”
It was the chance he’d been hoping for. “I dare you to kiss me.”
The shock on her face told him quite clearly she hadn't expected that. The fear that replaced the shock in her eyes stunned him. Why should that make her afraid?
“Forget it,” he said quickly.
He thought she was going to take him up on the pass, but then she shook her head. “Nope, a dare’s a dare.”
She turned toward him, reached out, put her hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him to her. Just before their lips met, she whispered, “Have you ever been kissed by a woman, Max?”
“I’ve kissed a few,” he replied, not about to tell her that “a few” meant three.
“I don’t mean girls,” she replied, her lips so close that he could feel her breath. “I mean a woman.”
“Uh, no.”
“I’m glad I get to be your first.”
Her lips touched his softly, then parted. She nipped at his lower lip gently, then kissed again, this time applying more pressure.
His arms went around her of their own accord, one hand moving to the back of her head to tangle in her hair. She pressed against him and the feel of her body against his sent something zinging through him, like electricity.
She angled her head and her lips slanted across his. Her tongue invaded his mouth, caressing. Max’s hand tightened in her hair and pulled her tighter into the kiss. Time lost all meaning. The taste of her, the feel of her body pressing into his, her hands fisting his hair and the little moan in her throat became his entire reality.
He’d never experience that kind of kiss. It was like being joined with someone, feeling the tension in her body match his own, and the way she strained to press closer. The kiss became almost desperate, each of them seeking to devour the other, as if they could consume one another and stop being separate entities but merge into something else, something joined.
He never wanted it to end and when it did, when her lips left his, he wanted only to pull her back.
She ran her hand over the side of his face. “I will never forget that. Not as long as I live.”
He was quite sure he would not either.
The Present
“You were my first,” he said. “The first time I’d been kissed by a woman. You remember what you said?”
She looked at him sadly. “I never forgot Max. I won’t ever.”
“Then tell me why, Livi? Why did you leave me?”
She turned away and walked to the door. “I think you should go, Max.”
“Why won’t you answer?”
“Max, it won’t make a difference. It’s done. We can’t undo it or go back. Those times are memories that we won’t forget, but that’s all they are.”
He picked up the box from the bed, walked to the door, and handed it to her. “Maybe you’re right, Livi. Maybe I was wrong. About a lot of things.”
He walked out and didn’t look back until he reached the elevator. Her door was closed. And apparently, a chapter in his life was closed as well. Just like before, she was lost to him.
Chapter Four
Olivia closed her eyes and breathed in the heavenly scent. Sweet’s Sweets may have upgraded their storefront and from the looks of things, the interior as well, but one thing had not changed. That divine smell.
She spotted Stella Sweet behind the counter and walked over. “Hi, Mrs. Stella.”
Stella looked up, and a frown came on her face. “Hi…” The frown vanished and her hands went to her cheeks. “Oh my goodness. Olivia?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Stella raced from behind the counter to hug Olivia. “Oh my. Oh, my.” She hugged Olivia tightly for a long moment then released her. “Oh honey, I’m so glad to see you.”
“I’m glad to see you.”
“Come on. Sit with me and let’s catch up.” Stella yelled over her shoulder to a young woman behind the counter. “Darleen, hon would you be a dear and get us some coffee and a plate of those fritters?”
“Yes, Mrs. Stella.” Darleen replied and smiled.
“Such a sweet girl.” Stella said as she led Olivia to a table by the front window. “Sit, sit. Oh, let me look at you. It’s been what? Seven years since last you were here?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Stella reached across the table to take Olivia’s hand. “And you’re better now?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Oh honey, we were all so proud of you. Pulitzer prizes. And those photos.” Stella released Olivia’s hand to swipe at the tears that threatene
d her own eyes. “I still can’t think about them without getting all misty. And to think that you rush into that kind of danger. It’s just… well, it’s just unbelievable.
“You know we all prayed for you when we heard about that bomb. Billy and I in particular. All I could think about was that sweet girl who used to help me so much with my girls.”
“They were the cutest babies ever.” Olivia replied and meant it. She was almost twelve when Cody was born, and had started babysitting right here in the bakery in the afternoons after school to help Mrs. Sweet. When Hannah came along, she babysat for her as well. By the time Olivia graduated and headed off to college, she felt as if the Sweet girls were as much hers as they were Stella and Billy’s.
“I’m so sorry I’ve been so bad about staying in touch.”
Darleen arrived with the coffee and pastries. Once she departed, Stella spoke up. “You’re no more guilty than I, so don’t apologize. Lives get busy. But tell me, how are you Livi?”
Olivia looked down as she opened her mouth to lie, but couldn’t force the words out. She closed her mouth, shook her head and looked at Stella. “I saw him. Max, I mean.”
“And?”
“And it’s just not going to go away Mrs. Stella. I can’t make it go away.”
“Well, maybe it’s not intended to, honey.”
“But I can’t live this way. I… “ She pulled a paper napkin from the holder on the table and wiped at her eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Follow your heart, honey.” Stella took Olivia’s hand again. “Your heart knows even if your head can’t keep up.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t think I can go through losing him again.”
Stella nodded and squeezed Olivia’s hand. “I’ll pray for you sweetheart. Every day.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Are you here for long?”
“Just a couple of days.”
“Then you have to get over to the Honky Tonk.”
“Honky Tonk?”
Stella chuckled. “Billy gave Cody and Hannah each a third interest in the bar. It’s been rebuilt and they run it. Do a darn good job too. Please say you’ll come by, have dinner and see the girls. In fact, let’s do it tonight.”
