“I won’t be lectured to by a child, prodigy or not!” Selvig bellowed.
SWACK!
Darcy tossed the wig bag, bopping Selvig in the face.
“Put a wig on, and shut your pie hole. Both of you,” she snapped. “We’re wasting time out here jibber-jabbering.”
Selvig pulled out a wig made of long brown hair that was ratty and tangled. He felt around inside the bag for something to complete his disguise and came across two pieces of a goatee. He stuck them on his face and smiled like a goon. “I look ridiculous.”
“Not bad for a secret agent on a budget,” Darcy said. She placed a wig full of bouncing blonde locks atop her head and mugged for an imaginary camera.
Felix searched the bag, but there was nothing left for him to wear. “Um, what about my disguise?!” he said. “I’m part of this op, too.”
“You’re not a world’s most famous scientist,” Darcy said. “You’ll be fine.”
Selvig was miserable in his getup. His head itched. His face itched. He looked like a fool. None of that mattered. He was here now, and it was time to execute the mission.
“What’s the plan, Doc?” asked Felix.
Selvig remained quiet. He was lost in thought.
“We’ll feel things out, get a sense of the room,” Darcy said. “Leave the aliases to me.”
Felix, Darcy, and Selvig trudged up the steep driveway to find Bixby’s hillside compound quiet and unguarded. As events went, this one looked fairly tame from the outside. No mingling on the terrace. No pool-party antics. As the trio approached the sprawling estate, they heard the faint sound of music coming from inside. The front door opened automatically, welcoming them to Bixby-Con. Inventors, pseudo-scientists, infomercial salespeople, and internet celebrities had set up booth displays around the perimeter of the home, each one showcasing some seemingly incredible breakthrough. VR experiences, craft tables, and demonstrations abounded.
Selvig scanned the room, looking for familiar faces, but didn’t find a single one. “These people are all fakes, quacks, and reality television stars,” he said nervously.
“Take it easy. We just got here,” Darcy said. “It’s an oddball science fair, not the grand expo we imagined. Who cares? We’re not here for anyone but Bixby. Stay focused.”
A cater waiter shoved a tray of meatballs in Selvig’s face. “Care for a Pym Particle?” he asked. “They’re filled with ricotta cheese.”
“Yes!” Felix shouted. He popped three into his mouth and gobbled them up quickly.
“Thank you,” Selvig said reluctantly, taking a meatball from the tray. He bit into it and winced.
A cheerful woman was positioned at a table in the foyer, checking in guests as they arrived. She wore a large white name tag that said LINDA . In front of her, spread out across the table, were hundreds of unclaimed name tags.
“Hello, hello, hello!” Linda said. “Welcome to the first annual Bixby-Con! Yay!” She whipped out a clipboard from under the table, clearly anxious to cross off a name. “Who might you be?”
“I’ll tell you in just one second, Linda.” Darcy carefully scanned the assemblage of name tags. Some were foreign while others were strikingly familiar. “Cho, Halliwell, Benhamou, Marlow… Banner?! These people aren’t coming here. Are they?!”
Linda was embarrassed by the question. “Mr. Bixby arranged the table. Some of them are just for show, I guess,” she admitted. “What do I know? I found this job on the internet. Ha-ha!”
“Been there, girl,” Darcy said. She looked through the name tags some more. “A lot of fame hogs and filler biddies. A couple of legit science folk, too, I see.”
Linda jiggled her clipboard. “And what category might you fall into?”
Darcy selected a name tag and showed it off for all to see. “Penny Miller, Microneural Biologist at your service!” She grabbed another name tag and pinned it on Selvig. “And my good pal Brizan Versteeg, Renewable Energy Developer.”
“Thank you, Penny,” Selvig said flatly.
Felix nudged Darcy in the ribs. “Where’s mine, Penny?”
Darcy took a blank name tag, wrote Felix, Intern in big red letters, and slapped it on his chest.
Selvig patted his pockets. “Linda, I seem to have lost my itinerary.”
“Not a problem,” Linda replied. She handed him a pamphlet that said BIXBY-CON in big, bold letters and featured a photograph of Ignatius Bixby’s head where the O should be. His face was round and orange from years of bad tanning experiences. Bixby’s eyes bulged, and his teeth sat millimeters apart from one another. He looked as if he were about to burst. Linda opened the pamphlet and gave her verbal tour. “Here’s everything you need to know. There’s a map of the floor and a schedule of events. Highlights include Biomisting, Smart Blobs, and I highly recommend you check out Doctor Elodie’s Entropic Circuit. This evening Anna & the Ablations will be performing many of their hits, including ‘Vaporize,’ which is my favorite. Bathrooms are on the ground floor. Refreshment stations are located throughout the premises. Don’t forget to have your photo taken with the Vysion!”
“Say what?” Darcy said. “Uhhh, that name is off-limits.”
“Oh no. This is spelled with a Y,” clarified Linda.
“V-I-S-Y-O-N?”
“No, V-Y-S-I-O-N.”
“Well, that’s just dumb,” Darcy declared.
“Don’t look at me, I didn’t build it,” said Linda. “Mr. Bixby will be making an announcement shortly from the balcony. Do not go upstairs. That area is off-limits. Oh, and keep your hands off the Permeable Membrane. I think that covers everything.”
“You’ve been incredibly helpful, Linda,” Darcy said. “Thank you.”
Linda was pleased to be of service. “No problem. I’m really putting my political science degree to good use, huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Have fun, you guys!”
“These people are losers,” Felix mumbled.
“We’re here. What does that make us?” asked Darcy.
Felix thought for a moment. “Aspirational winners.”
“It’s no wonder that Bisi, Anjelica, and Anoki wouldn’t be caught dead here. These people are all shams. They’re not real scientists; they’re wannabe celebrities. Fame, not the betterment of humanity, seems to be driving their choices,” Selvig intoned.
“We’re not here for them. We’re here for Bixby. Stay the course, Doc. Answers are coming our way. I can feel it,” Felix said. “And, um, I might need to pee.”
“At last!” Selvig said. He’d spotted someone he knew and tried to get their attention. “Doctor Mansoor Amjed! Amjed, old friend! Over here!”
Darcy yanked him by the arm. “You’re not Erik Selvig right now. Remember? This is not the time to play catch-up with your pals,” she warned. “Also, mask your accent or, better yet, don’t talk to anybody.”
Selvig removed Darcy’s hand. “There’s no need to handle me like a child,” he said, straightening his shirt. “If I’m to be Brizan Versteeg, then I’ll commit to the part.” In an instant, Selvig had disappeared into the crowd.
“I really hope we don’t get killed today.” Darcy sighed. “Felix, Linda was a political science major just like me. Does that mean this is my future? This is probably the wrong time to have an identity crisis but…” She turned to find Felix had disappeared. He’d meandered over to a booth covered in twinkling Christmas lights, where a woman dressed in a red tuxedo made of lamé fabric was quietly dozing off. Behind her were fifty small cages containing fifty small bunny rabbits and a sign that said SCIENTIFICA’S MIRACULOUS GENE DRIVES. Felix whistled, waking her up. The startled woman scrambled to cover.
“Hello, young sir!” Scientifica said. She shook out her arms and legs while making odd facial expressions. “Sorry about that. You caught me meditating. Welcome to Scientifica’s Miraculous Gene Drives. I’m your hostess, Sci—”
Felix cut her off. “Save the razzle-dazzle, lady. What’s this all about?”
“Direct. I like that,” Scientifica said
. “What I’m offering the scientific community is true innovation. A technology that creates a unique genetic trait and inserts it directly into an organism. These traits, known as Gene Drives, would then modify the DNA of that organism, eventually spreading through the population.”
“And the bunnies?”
“All the rabbits you see behind me have experienced a Gene Drive. Their digestive systems were modified, allowing them to eat meat instead of vegetables.”
Darcy tapped Felix on the shoulder. “I’m sure you find this riveting, but we need to move on,” she said. They nodded kindly at Scientifica and drifted into the crowd.
“Hurry back,” Scientifica yawned, returning to her nap.
Selvig floated through the room, snooping on conversations, asking strangers about what brought them to the event. Most of them were crowd fillers, hired by Bixby to mingle and have a good time. Selvig despised having to interact with these people, but he had to do it if he wanted to find out the truth. A peculiar fellow wearing a name tag that said Daryll bellied up to the refreshment stand where Selvig had perched himself. Daryll was an average guy with brown hair and a medium build. He eyed the room like a hawk before settling on Selvig.
“Excuse me, but has anyone ever talked to you about Quantum Futurism?” he asked.
“Not interested,” murmured Selvig.
“I’d love to chat with you sometime about the Lennox theory,” Daryll said.
“No, thank you,” Selvig said. His tone grew harsher.
“If you’d prefer, we can discuss the effects of the Gaudet-Bowie Law of—”
Selvig had heard enough. “Stop your cult-y, faux-scientific claptrap,” he said. “Please leave me alone. I’m here on real business.”
“Oh! You should have said that first. I thought you were one of the actors, so I gave you my pyramid scheme spiel,” Daryll said. He took a swig of soda. “I hear Bixby is debuting something big that’s gonna change everything.”
“He’s a vampire. Buying up technology, cannibalizing other people’s discoveries and claiming them as his own.”
“But… you’re here,” Daryll said.
“I’m out of options and, I’m ashamed to say, a little desperate.” Before Selvig could ask him about Bixby’s announcement, a recognizable voice whispered in his ear.
“A little desperation never hurt anybody.” Selvig turned to find himself face-to-face with the man of the hour—Ignatius Bixby. He was a short man in a tight black T-shirt and tan slacks. His thick white hair was slicked back, and, from afar, it looked as if he were wearing a helmet. Though wealthy, Bixby lacked a sense of style. He didn’t care about that in the slightest. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He eyed Selvig’s name tag curiously. “Brizan Versteeg and I own a yacht together. The Scientific American. You’re not him.”
Selvig remembered Darcy’s warning. He quickly cleared his throat and dropped his Norwegian accent. “Ahem! Oh dear. I must have selected the wrong tag. My apologies.”
“It happens. Are you enjoying yourself, whoever you are?”
Selvig barely mustered a smile. “Absolutely.”
“Lot of quacks at this thing, right? I tried to get the big guns, but you know how it goes with scheduling. They’ll all wish they had come once I whip out my big gun.”
Now Selvig’s interest was doubly piqued. He hated being so close to Bixby but knew that this was his chance to get crucial information. “Do tell,” he said.
“Nah. You’ll be blown away soon enough. Ha-ha-ha.” Bixby chuckled. “Gotta go get ready.” He slapped Selvig on the back and took off upstairs. The unveiling was about to begin.
Elsewhere, Darcy and Felix strolled through the event, looking over each exhibitor’s table. They had their eyes peeled for trouble, though neither of them knew what it looked like. A video presentation caught their attention at an unmanned booth in the middle of the room.
“Smart Blobs! The future of fun is now!” the video began. On screen, two tired-looking children tossed balls of spotted slime at each other while a strange woman watched from nearby. “Each gelatinous ball is filled with hundreds of tiny robotic nanites designed to keep your family entertained for minutes!”
“This is some gimmicky fake-science trash,” Felix murmured. He motioned to the barrel of lime-green Smart Blobs. They looked as if they were in the process of melting into one another. “Take one, Darcy,” he nudged. “They’re free.”
Darcy was uninterested. “No, thanks.” In the distance, she spotted a woman dressed casually in a simple jacket and jeans. She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail and was wearing a baseball cap sporting the logo for Culver University. The woman moved through the room with careful consideration, though that wasn’t the thing that caught Darcy’s attention. There was a hole in the cap, slight but present.
That looks like my hat, Darcy thought, moving to get a better look. The one I loaned to Jane.
Darcy slipped through the crowd, ducking and weaving around the attendees in an attempt to reach the woman before she slipped away.
A cater waiter thrust a tray of drinks in Darcy’s face. “Gamma Bomb?”
“No, thanks,” she said, pushing the tray away and continuing toward the woman.
The closer Darcy got, the more confident she became. It has to be her, she thought. That’s my hat. Finally, she’d navigated her way across the room, stepping in the woman’s way and blocking her from moving. “Jane?” Darcy said, standing eye to eye.
Doctor Jane Foster was shocked and confused. She never expected to see Darcy under these circumstances. She didn’t expect to see anyone she knew at this particular event. It was part of the reason she felt comfortable attending. Jane, overwhelmed by the moment, pulled Darcy through a set of curtains and into an alcove. “Darcy, what are you doing here? And why are you wearing a Dolly wig?”
Darcy grabbed Jane and hugged her tightly. “You have no idea how good it is to see you right now. No idea. Jane, we thought you might be—”
Jane pulled out of the hug. “Don’t,” she said, placing her finger on Darcy’s lips. “I’m here. I’m alive. And everything is going to be okay.” She looked around, expecting someone else to join them. “You’re here with Erik?”
“He’s here, checking things out. It’s been an interesting couple of days, to say the least,” Darcy said. “Should I wait to ask you a million questions? Because I have a million questions. The first and most important one being—where have you been?!”
Jane nervously paced around the small area. She had come to the event with a plan in place but seeing Darcy changed all that. Jane took a seat on a nearby chair and gazed at Darcy’s face. It was comforting to see her after being alone for so long. “I had to take myself off the grid,” Jane said. “To protect you. To protect Erik. To protect my work. There are forces out there, Darcy. Unbelievably powerful forces of chaos and destruction. They defy what we know about the natural world. The Tesseract… the Aether… those were just the beginning.”
“Now you’re sounding like Erik,” Darcy said. “He was doing great until the decimation made his head all clouded again.”
“I figured as much. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to help steer him back on the right path, but there are things I know that he doesn’t. Things I kept from him because I thought they might send him over the edge.” Jane exhaled. “I hope it’s not too late.”
Suddenly, Felix burst through the curtains. “Darcy, don’t leave me like that again! Some weirdo tried to get me to—” Felix noticed Jane. “Oh. Em. Gee.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. When he opened his mouth, the words poured out a mile a minute. “Doctor Foster, you are legit one of my all-time heroes. Not that I have a poster of you or anything. I would if I had a room. Or a house for that matter. I’m kind of homeless. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Your work is totally inspiring. The Einstein-Rosen bridge is the reason I’m obsessed with science. Well, one of the reasons. My parents are scientists. Were scientists. They�
�re not physically on this plane of existence any longer, but I can feel them with me. Conservation of energy and all that. You feel me. I just have to say, Doctor Foster, you’ve been such an influence in my life and not just scientifically speaking. I also enjoy creative writing. Would you be open to reading my wormhole fanfic? You don’t have to answer. Just think about it. Oh man, to know it’s possible to open a gateway to another world… It changed my whole outlook on life. Thank you for that. You’re honestly the best.”
Jane looked at Darcy. “Friend of yours?” she asked.
“This is Felix,” replied Darcy.
“I’m the new intern,” Felix said, pointing to his name tag. He fished the Bixby-Con pamphlet out of his pocket and offered it to Jane. “Would you mind signing this?”
“Not now, dude,” said Darcy.
“It’s great to meet you, Felix. I appreciate your kind words,” Jane said.
Felix rubbed his hands together anxiously. “Can I get you a Pym Particle? Or maybe a Gamma Bomb? I think I saw some shrimp on a tray. I could get you some of those?”
“No, thank you,” Jane said. “We need to find Erik. It’s time I told him everything.”
An announcement blared over a PA system. “Please make your way to the main area. Mr. Bixby will be speaking momentarily.”
Darcy felt uneasy. “What’s about to go down, Jane?” she asked. “And have you talked to Thor lately? He has my Bill Nye DVDs. I want them back.”
“I’m going to go ahead and say that those DVDs are probably gone,” Jane replied.
Felix poked his head through the curtain and spotted Selvig on the other side of the room, munching on hors d’oeuvres. He caught his eye and energetically waved him over.
“This is gonna be weird,” Darcy said.
Selvig flung open the curtains and entered the alcove. Selvig and Jane embraced warmly and in silence. He stared at her smiling face for a moment, taking it in, processing the moment. “When your father passed years ago, I took it upon myself to make sure I was always present should you ever need my counsel. Protecting you was my responsibility, and I took it very seriously. So, know I ask this with compassion, from a place of love—Jane, where the devil have you been?! You took off without saying a word. If you needed space, so be it, but why didn’t you tell anyone where you were going?! Why didn’t you come forward after the decimation to let us know you were at least safe?”
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