by Natalie Ann
“I’m not admitting to anything,” she said. “It’s not natural what Jennifer was. I was trying to get her to see that.”
“That’s it,” he said. “You need to leave.” Chloe was crying right now. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have allowed it.”
“What is going to happen to Chloe if you die?” his mother said. “Your job puts you at risk. I’m all Chloe has left for family. She has to know who I am.”
Chloe went running from the room sobbing louder than he’d ever heard before. What the hell?
“Leave now. You’ve just made a huge mess of things I’m going to have to clean up. What happens in Chloe’s life is no concern of yours and you know it.”
“So you want me out of your life too?” she asked, marching to the door to get her jacket.
“Yes. It’s best for everyone,” he said, slamming the door behind his mother and knowing it was the best decision of his life.
Now he just had to fix all the damage that was done in the last hour.
Blinders On
“Have you talked to Chloe yet?”
Kristen walked in the door thinking she was going to be meeting Landon’s mother and soon found out what she’d missed. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or not by the sound of things.
She’d thought it might be a step in the right direction to meet some of Landon’s family, but now she was sure that his childhood was a lot worse than she ever imagined. Or at least his sister’s was and he’d had no clue and was beating himself up over it.
“No. She locked herself in her room.”
“Landon!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got the key. I went up to talk to her and saw the door was locked. I heard her crying and figured it was best to let her go. I needed to calm down anyway. And then you showed up.”
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “I just meant it all happened so fast. What a mess I’ve made of this.”
“It doesn’t sound like you did much more than defend your sister and your actions with your niece. How is that making a mess of things?”
“I let her come here. I could have told her no.”
“It’s your mother. It seems like you had no clue what had been going on in the house once you left.”
“And that’s another thing,” he said, running his hand through this hair. “Why wouldn’t Jennifer tell me? When she was a teen and going through this I was already a cop. I could have done something. I was right in town. Why not reach out to me?”
“You’ll never know the answers to that and there is no reason to beat yourself up for it.”
“I can’t help it though. I knew it was bad when I was there. The fighting and the screaming. But my mother never really laid a hand on me. Nothing more than a slap on the ass as a kid. She always went after my father. Even when she was married to Jennifer’s dad she’d never lifted a hand to him that I could remember. All they did was scream at each other. The violence was more like pushing on her end, or she’d punch him in the arm or back. Not in the face or anything. My father only pushed her back to get her away from him.”
She couldn’t imagine being in the household. Her parents fought too, but nothing like this. It was more her father just thought her mother was nuts and annoying more than anything. Landon’s household seemed almost filled with hatred along with prejudice.
“So it sounds like Chloe was aware of how her mother was treated as a kid. I wonder why she never said anything before,” Kristen said.
“I wish she had. I wish I knew. I told her a few days ago she was going to meet my mother. She was quiet, but there isn’t anything unusual in that when she is uncomfortable about something.”
He looked so wretched, so she pulled him into her arms. “Stop beating yourself up. You couldn’t have had any idea today was going to turn out like this.”
“I guess not. I don’t know. Maybe I had blinders on. I didn’t expect it was going to be some happy reunion. I’m not stupid. But I figured maybe Chloe and my mother could talk about Jennifer some. I just wish I could give Chloe something of her mother back.”
“You’re doing everything right. You have to know that.”
“I’m trying, but I still feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants more often than not. I finally felt like I’d made such progress with Chloe this past month. Then my mother has to go and say what she did about my job being dangerous and if I died.”
“Yeah, that was pretty shitty of her. But the truth is, Landon, Jennifer didn’t have a dangerous job and she died in an accident. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. And as a captain you spend more of your time in the office anyway, right?”
That was what she’d always assumed. She wasn’t really all that worried about him on the job, but maybe she should rethink it.
“True. But we all get called out when it’s needed. It’s part of the job. Day to day there isn’t much to worry about. I should tell Chloe that.”
“You should. You should reassure her of a lot of things.”
“I don’t know what to tell her if she asks me what would happen to her if something happened to me. I don’t even want to think of that possibility.”
“Don’t worry about it now. Push it off and tell her nothing will happen to you, but if something did, she’d be taken care of.”
She desperately wanted to tell Landon that she’d take Chloe, but knew it wasn’t her place. It wasn’t the right time either. Here she was just trying to figure out when to say she loved him; saying she’d be Chloe’s guardian would scare them both.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said, kissing her on the forehead.
“Sure you do,” she said, smiling. “You know how much I care about Chloe, right?”
“I do. You’ve been wonderful for her. Wonderful for me.”
“I care about you too. I guess I’m trying to say I love you, but am afraid you’re going to think I’m smothering you or something.”
“Not smothering at all. I care about you too. I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love before, but if what I’m feeling for you is what I think, then I think we’re on the same page.”
It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear back, but considering the day he had she’d take it. “I understand.”
“I feel like I’m just dragging you into my mess. We had this talk about complications and life and here I am just dumping more shit on you. You tried to get away from it and it seems you are running right into it.”
“Don’t think that way,” she said. “We’ve talked about this before. I’m a big girl and can handle it.”
“That isn’t what I mean.”
“What do you mean then?” she asked. “And don’t bring up anything else about using me or taking advantage of me with Chloe. I’ll smack you in the head if you do.”
He laughed. “I believe you would. I just mean that you tried to stay away from men like this and I’m pretty sure this is probably the most drama you’ve dealt with in a relationship.”
In some ways he was right, but in other ways not. What he was going through wasn’t so much drama in their relationship like she’d dealt with in the past, but she couldn’t tell him that.
She didn’t want him to know about Steve or his recent visit. Or about the other losers she’d dated in her life that never seemed to measure up.
Not when she found someone she saw a future with and she was trying not to be hurt that he might not be feeling everything as fully as she was.
“Would you like me to go up and talk to Chloe?” she asked. She didn’t want to deal with anything in terms of her and Landon’s relationship talks anymore.
“Maybe we should do it together. I think I’d like you there with me and it might make her feel more comfortable too.”
He stood up and she followed him up the stairs. He stopped in his room and pulled a key out of a drawer, but still knocked on Chloe’s door. “Chloe, can Kristen and I come in and talk to you?”
There was some silence on the other end, but the door opened.
Poor Chloe was standing there with red eyes, a runny nose, and her hair fluffed out as if she’d run a balloon all over it. Chloe probably had her head buried under her pillow like Kristen had so often as a kid when she was crying.
“I hear you had a bad visit,” Kristen said.
Chloe nodded her head, and her eyes filled with more tears. “She was mean. I don’t like her. I don’t want to see her again.”
Landon looked at her helplessly, but she shook her head at him and pulled Chloe into her arms. “Your uncle told your grandmother to leave. He told her not to come back too.”
Chloe looked over at Landon. “Did you?”
“I did,” he said. “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
“Why did she come here? She doesn’t like me. I could tell. She won’t take me, will she? What if what she said is true? Will I have to go with her?”
“No,” he said firmly. “Now isn’t the time to talk about it, but I’ll tell you right now, you won’t end up with her. I want you to know I had no idea what your mother went through when she was a kid. If I’d known I would have done something about it.”
“I don’t think I was supposed to know,” Chloe said, crying.
“How did you know then?” Kristen asked, moving Chloe over to her bed where the three of them sat down.
“I always listened to Mommy talking with people when I should be sleeping. It was wrong, I knew, but I heard things.”
“Things that you weren’t supposed to hear,” Kristen said. “But you did hear them and now you need to try to make sense of them.”
Landon reached a hand out and put it on Chloe’s shoulder. “Remember, when you hear things you aren’t supposed to you don’t know the context they were in either. Try not to focus on it too much. Your life isn’t like that here. And if you hear something and aren’t sure about it, I want you to ask me. No guessing. Can you promise me that?”
Chloe nodded her head and hugged Kristen. She looked over at Landon and could tell he wished Chloe would reach for him and her heart broke there too.
“Chloe, you know how much your uncle loves you, don’t you?”
“He does?” Chloe asked, lifting her head.
“I do,” Landon said. “Maybe I should have told you before now. I’ve told you you aren’t going anywhere and you’re not. But with that comes not only responsibility but also love. You’re my family and I’m yours. We’ve got each other.”
“I love you too,” Chloe said hugging him. “And I love Kristen too.”
“I love you too, sweetie,” Kristen said, feeling her eyes fill. Talk about putting more pressure on Landon with those words, but Kristen wouldn’t have wanted Chloe to take them back.
An Incident
Somehow they got through the holidays and the horrible visit from his mother. A few weeks had gone by and life seemed to be back to normal...somewhat.
He was going through paperwork when his phone rang. He reached over and saw the Saratoga School District and felt his stomach pitch to his knees like after the drop on the Kingda Ka at Six Flags. Chloe had a cough this morning, so he was betting she was being sent home sick.
“Barber,” he said.
“Mr. Barber. Hello, this is Mrs. Acker, the principal at Chloe’s school. We’ve had an incident that requires you to come in.”
“What kind of incident?” he asked, standing up and reaching for his jacket and keys.
“Chloe is in my office for fighting. That is a suspendable offense and we need to get to the bottom of it. The other child’s parents are on their way too.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said, hanging up.
Landon got to the school in less than ten minutes, walked in the front door and toward the secretary’s desk. “Landon Barber here to see Principal Acker.”
“Yes, please come this way.”
He followed the young woman down a hall to where another set of parents were sitting at a conference table. Chloe was nowhere to be found.
“You had to call the police in for this?” the man said. “That’s a little ridiculous. It’s bad enough Kenny is going to be picked on for a girl throwing him to the ground.”
This should be interesting, Landon was thinking. Before he could say anything the principal spoke up. “This is Landon Barber. Chloe’s uncle.”
“So her parents couldn’t even come in. They had to send her uncle to intimidate us?” the woman said, her overfilled lips pursing. She should put some of that filler in her brow because she had some major wrinkles for someone so young. Must be a natural expression on her face.
“Chloe’s mother died over the summer and I’m her guardian. Not that it is any of your damn business,” he said. If their son was anything like them, this was only going to get worse.
“We didn’t know,” the man said, giving his wife a frown.
“Then maybe you should stop making assumptions.” He turned to the principal. “Can you tell me what happened?” He turned back to the other two. “I’m assuming you’re Kenny’s parents and my niece tossed your kid to the ground. What caused it?”
Principal Acker shut the door. “Let me start by saying that violence of any kind is not tolerated and both children will be suspended for the rest of the week, regardless of the reasons.”
“That’s crazy,” Kenny’s mother said. “She attacked our son.”
“Enough,” the principal said. “Kenny is by no means innocent in this. There is a no bullying policy in this school also.”
“Kenny isn’t a bully,” his mother said. Landon had a feeling little Kenny might be the apple of his mother’s eye.
“Why don’t we let the principal talk and explain what happened,” Landon said calmly now, knowing it might lessen the agitated overbearing mother.
“Please,” Principal Acker said, “everyone have a seat. It seems that Kenny has been saying things about Chloe for a few weeks. We didn’t know until today when Chloe told us.”
“What things?” Landon asked, feeling sharp pains in his fists from clenching his hands.
“That she didn’t fit in in our school. That new kids never do. The normal stuff that we don’t tolerate and wish we’d known about. Chloe is a quiet kid and just minds her own business.”
“It doesn’t sound like she did today,” Kenny’s father said.
“That’s because Kenny told her that when little girls have an uncle it means their mother is a slut. And I’m quoting him with those words. That Chloe’s mother probably had a lot of uncles and that is why she doesn’t have a father. That she probably didn’t even know who he was.”
Landon took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a minute. How the hell could nine-year-olds be talking like this? Unless they were hearing this shit at home...maybe from their mother?
“My sister died in a car accident over the summer. I sure the heck don’t have to justify any of my life to you people, but maybe you should have a talk with your kid about what he says without knowing all the facts.”
“I agree with Mr. Barber,” the principal said. “And that kind of talk from Kenny isn’t tolerated either.”
“How do we know Kenny said those things?” his mother asked. “Maybe Chloe is just making them up.”
“Chloe wouldn’t do that,” Landon said.
“And she didn’t,” the principal said. “A teacher’s aide overheard the whole conversation and she will gladly come in and repeat it for you.”
“So Chloe got upset and pushed Kenny?” Landon asked.
“Not exactly. She kicked him, and then threw him over her shoulder onto the ground. A practiced move?” the principal asked, lifting her eyebrow.
“She takes jiu jitsu,” he said, knowing how proud he was at that moment but wouldn’t dare say that out loud.
“So Chloe got violent and should be suspended longer. Why are they getting the same punishment when all Kenny did was say a few words?”
; “Hurtful words that will label Chloe now,” Principal Acker said. “Between these walls, Kenny can now be labeled as the boy who was taken down by a girl. He’ll have to deal with that. But it didn’t end there. Kenny got up and shoved Chloe to the ground. If another teacher didn’t come forward and separate them, I’m pretty sure Chloe would have taken him down again.”
Landon fought the urge to smile over the principal’s comment about Chloe taking Kenny down again. This was getting out of hand. Pride for his niece standing up for herself was on the forefront, but the fact that she had to deal with this and had been for weeks without him knowing was another guilt he had heavier than the world on his shoulders.
“So now what?” Kenny’s father said, his face flushed deeper than a fire engine. “What happens? They have a few days off of school and come back and get made fun of by the kids in their class for this incident?”
“Maybe Kenny should have thought of that before he ran his mouth today,” Landon said.
“And maybe your niece should have a little bit more control and not be so violent,” Kenny’s mother said.
“The next step,” Principal Acker said, “is both kids are going to apologize to each other. They will be punished and we will address this in the classroom. That bullying, that violence, and mean words are not tolerated. That this is going to end once they are back in class. No one will say another comment to Chloe or Kenny about it.”
“The damage is done,” Kenny’s father said.
“Then you should have that talk with your kid about keeping his mouth quiet,” Landon said.
“Mr. Barber,” Principal Acker said. “I understand your frustration and though I shouldn’t be siding with anyone, I have great sympathy for Chloe’s situation. But we will handle it here at the school and you can be assured it won’t escalate. What all of you can do is deal with this at your house and explain why their actions were wrong.”
“I can do that,” Landon said.
