by Natalie Ann
“No talking. You said what you wanted and I’m going to do it my way. That means you can’t talk.”
“Okay,” she said, preparing herself to just feel. To just experience the night.
She moved her hands up and held the wooden slats on her headboard while he went to work. She trusted him to do what he wanted and get her to where she needed to go.
Where he’d always sent her was a place she’d never been to before and hoped to never experience with anyone else. She wanted it to always be with him. To always be like this.
Those magical lips of his were moving all over her body, down her hips, nibbling and kissing and finding the sweet spot. She thought to remind him what she really wanted, but bit her tongue to keep quiet.
It was better this way. To just lose herself in the sensations of her body.
He started to lick between her lower lips. Up and down, all around. Tasting her, devouring her.
She was teetering on the edge of something magnificent and she wanted to fall but held herself back.
Her eyes were shut, savoring everything she could, then she felt a few fingers inside of her, stretching her out, her hips rising and meeting what he was dishing out.
His mouth went to her swollen little nub and bit down, she screamed out and just let go. Her body pulsing and releasing, the shock of the orgasm carrying her away.
She’d barely had time to come down before she heard a click and felt the cold metal on her wrists. She’d been so lost in where he’d sent her she didn’t know he’d moved and secured her to the bed.
She tugged her hands and saw they were held pretty firmly in place, her eyes shifting up and meeting his. A wicked gleam staring back at her as he licked his lips like he was a hungry wolf and she was covered in a red hooded cape.
Rather than start anything though, he climbed off the bed. “Where are you going?”
“You want to feel weak and helpless, so I’m going to make sure you experience it all.”
He opened her closet and came out with the white and gray silk scarf he’d bought her for Christmas. “What are you doing with that?” she asked.
“No talking,” he reminded her. “You can just listen to my voice.” He laid the scarf over her eyes, then tucked it behind her head. “I’ve been thinking of this since you mentioned you wanted the handcuffs. Why else do you think I bought this? Not so you could wear it to work where other people could see it. It’s supposed to be all for me.”
Chills, shivers, and tremors ran through her body like salmon fighting to swim upstream.
She could hear him moving around, but didn’t know what was going on and that helpless feeling he’d talked about before was only intensified.
She wasn’t sure there was a man on the face of this earth she’d feel comfortable enough giving this much control to, but she wasn’t going to stop anything he wanted to do. Anything he wanted to show her. Give her. Or any place he wanted to take her.
Not if he was going to be with her the entire way.
The minute she felt something cold and wet on her nipple, her back jerked off the bed. She didn’t need to hear the sounds coming from the can to know creamy milky sugar sweetness was going to be cleaned up on her body.
He wasn’t cleaning her up though. Nope, he was spreading it everywhere. Every place. Her nipples. Her hips. Between her legs. She was pretty sure she was going to need a shower when she was done and was thinking of all the ways they could pleasure themselves in there too.
She heard the can being set down and knew she was going to be in for a treat. But it wasn’t his lips that found her breasts. It was his hands.
Pushing her together. Squeezing her tight. Then something was slipping and sliding between her breasts and she knew exactly what it was. She didn’t need to see to know what part of his body was touching her.
“Are you hungry?” he asked her softly.
She nodded her head up and down, just waiting. Wanting. Dying for a taste of him.
He didn’t disappoint, moving up until she felt the tip of him around her lips. Warmth and coldness mixed together. Heat and ice and her tongue came out to taste.
Wet. Sweet. Salty. All man and she wanted it, but he was keeping himself just out of reach. Being locked in place, she was at his mercy.
When she’d suggested this, she’d had no idea his mind would go this way and she was thrilled it was.
“Open up,” he said.
She did. He slid in. She closed down and started to suck. He started to move back and forth.
Not choking her, but damn close and it was wonderful.
“Nod if you need a break,” he said.
She didn’t. She was just sucking and rubbing her tongue up and down the length of him while he made love to her mouth.
She was pretty sure he was close. His breathing was getting heavy, his legs were shaking slightly where they were pressed on the sides of her chest.
Before she could do anything else though, her mouth was empty. He was gone. And she felt cold.
Missing him from her body. Missing what he’d been doing.
Other senses filled her. Wetness in more than one place. Where he’d put the cream before had melted in some spots and she was silky and sticky.
He wasted no time cleaning her up though. His mouth touching every part of her body that she’d thought was covered before.
Her nerves were standing on end. No, not standing. They were screaming for a release.
“Landon!”
“No talking,” he reminded her, his teeth grazing her hips now. “Or I stop completely and just leave you waiting here until I’m ready.”
She’d forgotten but she wouldn’t again. Not when he moved back from her, proving he would make good on his threat.
Her lower lip came between her teeth in an attempt to not speak.
It must have been the right move because his mouth found her heated core. He licked. He nibbled. He bit and he made a feast out of her.
He also kept her right on the edge and she wanted to scream at him how he had that much control.
She didn’t though. She’d take his threat to heart.
When she felt the bed shift, she moaned, wondering what torture he was going to do now.
There were noises again, more whipped cream between her legs, the coolness of it bringing her fire to a simmer with the thoughts he would ignite it to a bonfire soon.
His hands were all over her. So much so she couldn’t keep track of what he was doing. Trying to think and focus was fruitless. Between his mouth and hands, every nerve ending was standing on end silently screaming at him to just end it.
To just let her go.
To let her body come like it never had before.
“La—”
He moved off of her. Shit, she couldn’t help herself. She thought she heard the drawer open, but was losing focus on everything.
Her body was arching on the bed, her hands moving in the cuffs trying to wiggle a little. “What did I tell you?”
She didn’t answer him. She wasn’t going to fall for it.
She heard him laugh and knew she’d made the right decision. But she waited. And she waited for what seemed like a minute or more for him to start back up with his hands and mouth.
When the bed moved she thought she was going to get her wish.
What she got was him inside of her. Fast. Hard. Deep.
The waiting, the teasing, the relying on her senses only gave her no idea how wonderful this was going to feel.
She lifted her hips up, he pushed into her deeper. Hurried.
“Oh God,” she said, not able to help herself, and hoped he didn’t stop.
He didn’t. Either he was too far gone himself or he’d had enough of the playtime.
At this moment, it didn’t really matter. The only thing that mattered was that her bed was rocking and hitting the wall, his hips were slamming into hers and her legs were opening wider to take all of him in.
His hands went to her hips,
he held her in place stopping her from doing anything other than taking what he was giving her.
The minute her body started to fall off the ledge, started to quiver and shake, started to see stars and rainbows inside of her, she knew that he was letting himself fall just as fast. Then he collapsed on her.
Their heavy breathing in the room barely shadowed the pounding of her heart. “Are you okay?” he asked when the silk scarf was lifted from her eyes.
“Oh yeah.”
“Everything you wanted it to be?”
“And then some. I think I might have to pay you back later.”
She looked into his eyes, saw arousal and softness mixed together like strawberries and cream on a hot summer day. “I might hold you to that.”
“Landon,” she said softly.
“Yes,” he said, kissing her tenderly. So different than what they’d just experienced moments ago.
“Would it scare you if I told you what I was really feeling?”
“I doubt it,” he said, holding her stare. It wasn’t the answer she wanted so she held her tongue.
He moved off of her and grabbed the key, unlocked her from the headboard, then got up from the bed.
She wouldn’t be hurt that he wasn’t pushing her. It was probably for the best. “I think we both need to take a shower,” she said when she saw the remains of a sticky gleam on both of their bodies.
“We can do that together,” he said, picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom. He’d set her on her feet and turned the water on, then pulled her in close and held her tight. “You can tell me. It won’t scare me at all.”
“Another day.”
“Maybe I’m waiting for you to say it again,” he said.
“Why do I have to be the first to say it?” she asked.
“Good point.” He kissed her on the lips. “You mean the world to me. It scares me silly to know how much my life has changed in the past six months, but it’s all for the good.”
Still not what she wanted to hear. Not the words she was going to say to him and she wondered again why she couldn’t be satisfied with what she had and stop wanting more.
“I feel the same way,” she said, knowing the words of love were on the tip of her tongue, but she’d wait for now.
So Critical
A week later Kristen was enjoying a nice glass of wine in her living room. Landon was at the studio, as tonight was Chloe’s class and he had another class he taught.
When she heard the knock at her door, she got up to look through the peephole and saw her mother standing there grinning ear to ear, a sunshine yellow hat on her head clashing with her orange winter jacket. Her mother could walk on the street at night with no lights and still be seen for miles.
“What a surprise, Mom,” she said, opening the door. “Come on in out of the cold. What are you doing here?”
“I’ve brought wine,” her mother said, “but I see you are already a glass ahead of me. Let me catch up.”
“Have a seat.” She walked into the kitchen and got a glass for her mother and brought out the wine opener. Then she sat back down to get comfortable while her mother pulled her bright winter garb off.
Maybe she should have kept it on when the clothes underneath were just as shocking. Tie-died leggings and a rainbow sweater covering her hips. Good grief. “Mom, are you color blind?”
Her mother burst out laughing. “You know I’m not. Why are you so critical of my clothing choices? You don’t have to wear them.”
Her mother took a large gulp of wine, her gold and silver feather earrings brushing her shoulders. “You’re right. Does it bother you that I make fun of them?”
“Nah,” her mother said. “You’re you and I’m me. I like what I’m wearing and you like what you’ve got on.”
Kristen looked at her own black leggings and a gray sweatshirt. She wouldn’t say she liked what she had on, but it was comfortable. She’d never leave the house in this though.
“So what brings you by?” she asked.
“We haven’t talked in a few weeks. I know Landon and Chloe are at the studio tonight and I just thought maybe you wouldn’t mind some company and a little girl time.”
“I’m always up for girl time.” That had always been the case before, even if she didn’t necessarily want it with her mother.
Then she started to realize in the past few months she didn’t mind the time spent with her mother as much as she had when he was younger.
“So how are things going with you and Landon?”
“They’re good. I think we are in a good place.”
“Yet you don’t sound so convincing. What’s going on?”
“Why can’t I be truly happy with what I’ve got? Why do I always want more?”
“There isn’t anything wrong with wanting more in life, Kristen. I’ve always told you that. The key is to not be someone you aren’t to get it though. Or to try to change others to get your way.”
She’d heard that before. Not just from her mother but from her exes. That she tried to change people so they were more what she wanted or looked for. Again, wanting what she couldn’t have rather than accepting what was.
“I know. I’m trying. You’d think I’d learn my lessons over the years.”
“So what is it you want from Landon you aren’t getting? More time with him? I thought you enjoyed time with Chloe.”
“I do. I love the time we spend together. The three of us. I love when Landon and I are alone too.”
“And you love him, don’t you? Is that the problem, he doesn’t love you back or you don’t know if he does?”
“He does. I mean we said it to each other weeks ago but not since. Then last weekend we had a night together. A wonderful night that I think we both needed. We didn’t say the words, but he said I meant the world to him and it scared him silly.”
“But in typical Kristen fashion, you wanted him to say he loved you. That you were the first in his world?”
Shame filled her face, but rather than answer, she drained her wine glass. “Yeah. I can’t seem to stop those thoughts in my head. Why? What is wrong with me?”
“There isn’t anything wrong with you. I watched you at Olivia’s baby shower months ago. There was a time when you were younger you’d scowl half the time and not know it. You’d see all those women and what they’d had and you’d be so envious that you couldn’t even enjoy being around them or appreciating that they were a good person.”
She’d never known she’d done that until her mother pointed that out when she was a teen. That she’d always be so jealous of what others had that she’d frown and be miserable trying to figure out how to be like them, or have what they did, that she couldn’t enjoy anything.
“It’s hard to feel that way about Olivia’s family and friends. They’re all really sweet people. I mean they’ve got more than I’ll ever have, but I see them as people now.”
“Stop. See, that is the first thought in your mind. They’ve got more than you. Possessions. That is the first thing you focus on.”
Again, not wrong. But in this case, she was thinking more than possessions. “They’ve got the perfect family. Look at them all. Their lives are all wonderful. Phil and Sophia. Alec and Brynn. Carly and Sean. Ben and Presley.”
“Kristen. Open your eyes. You aren’t privy to everyone’s personal problems. I know you won’t gossip or share, but listen to me. Phil had the relationship from hell with his ex. Sophia loved him for years and they never acted on it. And wealth means nothing to Sophia and Olivia and as you know they had issues with their mother for years. Money couldn’t buy them anything normal growing up.”
She knew that. She even remembered about Phil’s horrible ex that made trouble for everyone for years, but she’d pushed it aside. “But they worked past it. No one would know about Sophia or Phil now.”
“That’s right. Because they kept it private and moved on. And Alec and Brynn. Brynn was a woman in a man’s world. And this isn’t common knowl
edge, but again, you won’t share it. But Brynn was assaulted years ago at her job before she moved here. How hard do you think it was for her to move on from that?”
She’d had no clue. “Brynn is one of the strongest women I know.”
“Exactly. And Carly. Her father is in jail for murder. You know that. You know he had a history of violence and that her mother and she were on the run most of their lives. Talk about not having much and hiding.”
“Why didn’t I remember any of these things?” she asked.
“Because you focus on what you see here and now. You forget what I’ve told you before. There is no such thing as normal. There is no such thing as no complications in life. Do you want me to go on? Presley’s mother committed suicide and Presley found her body. Ben’s best friend died in front of him in war.”
“No. I’ve heard enough. It just makes me feel so petty again.”
“As it should.”
“Thanks for that, Mom. Nothing like you giving me a reality check.”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
Kristen sighed. “I’m not trying to be.”
“So what else is going on?”
She hadn’t told anyone about Steve and it was hard for her to keep it in. She was debating telling her mother, but she actually needed some advice. “Steve has reached out to me lately.”
“What did that prick want? Oh yeah, it’s not racing season, so he must be bored.”
Leave it to her mother to be so blunt. “He said he made a mistake. That he missed me. That he wanted me back. This was months ago. I told him I was dating someone and even if I wasn’t I’d never take him back. We had a few choice words and he left.”
“Good for you.”
“I thought that was the end of it. Then several weeks ago flowers were delivered at work. I didn’t even look at the name on them. I thought they were for Olivia. Come to find out they were for me. Then I thought they were from Landon.”
“Steve sent you flowers?” her mother said, snorting. “Probably cliché roses like he was a big guy when it’s the easiest thing to send someone.”
Right on point again. “Yeah. I realized that after too. That if Landon ever sent me flowers, he’d never do something so simple as that. Anyway, the card said he missed me and wanted me back. I threw them out.”
